Black and worried Watch

T.G.O.A.T
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#101
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#101
Why are so many black girls posting anonymously especially when they say they like or are going out witha white guy? lmao. Talk about low self esteem and confidence. Theres no need to be ashamed.
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NW8_SW1_EC3
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#102
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#102
I'm Indian, go to Cambridge and most of my past relationships have been with white girls. My race has never been an issue at university. I know there are considerably more Indian/Asian students here than black, but I have seen/known black girls who date white guys. They tend to be the ones at top universities and for want of a better to say this, don't act 'black.'

EDIT: Kind of on topic, one of my best friends (white) is dying to have sex with a black girl. LMAO
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phones
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#103
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#103
to be honest in my oppinion
see it as an altomatic filter you dont want the guys that wont be like you because of your race if anything their not worthy of you. i think england is frankly past that archaic view that the only beauty that exist is white beauty. give those oxfordian gentlemen more credit
just make shure you stay away from member of the bullingdon club you want nothing to do with them unless you have political ambitions
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NW8_SW1_EC3
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#104
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#104
(Original post by T.G.O.A.T)
Why are so many black girls posting anonymously especially when they say they like or are going out witha white guy? lmao. Talk about low self esteem and confidence. Theres no need to be ashamed.
Agreed.
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bballer4life
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#105
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#105
i hate guys like that. White guys who want to sleep with black girls just to experiment. We are not a different species!!
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Jennifer_l85
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#106
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#106
(Original post by Anonymous)
But what it did confirm for me is that
a) being blonde (and white foremost) is the generally accepted 'fit' stereotype, and anything that isn't that is considered second best, an idea which I hate.
and worse
b) Between me and a not necessarily as attractive/nice/interesting etc etc but white girl, guys will automatically go for the white girl.
I have many white, posh male friends who mainly go for white blond girls and consider everything else as second best. However, these guys have always chosen pretty, slim, black girls over fat white girls.
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nneka!
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#107
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#107
(Original post by NW8_SW1_EC3)
I'm Indian, go to Cambridge and most of my past relationships have been with white girls. My race has never been an issue at university. I know there are considerably more Indian/Asian students here than black, but I have seen/known black girls who date white guys. They tend to be the ones at top universities and for want of a better to say this, don't act 'black.'

EDIT: Kind of on topic, one of my best friends (white) is dying to have sex with a black girl. LMAO
Is that supposed to be like a compliment? I hate when men of other races say stupid things like that. I doubt sleeping with a black girl is any different to sleeping with a asian/white girl. I've had a white man come up to me that said something along those lines. It's just plain old rude!
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Bluelight
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#108
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#108
Oh god, not another one of these topics. Look we can all make all these generalisations about who likes what till the cows come home, but when you really think about it these rules have surprisingly less impact on reality than we think. You meet who you meet, end of story.
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NW8_SW1_EC3
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#109
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#109
(Original post by nneka!)
Is that supposed to be like a compliment? I hate when men of other races say stupid things like that. I doubt sleeping with a black girl is any different to sleeping with a asian/white girl. I've had a white man come up to me that said something along those lines. It's just plain old rude!
Oh God no, who would find that to be a compliment?!
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DaniLorenMary
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#110
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#110
I'm a white slim fairly pretty redheaded girl. (Not blowing my own trumpet. Just saying I deffo ain't uglaaay)
And I used to have a huge crush on this black guy at my school.
He said he would never go out with me because I was white.

He said it would be 'weird'.

I didn't get it. I just added him to my '******** list'. :P
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DaniLorenMary
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#111
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#111
Even I would! :P
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*theKid*
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#112
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#112
Black is beautiful. ^^
In fact, it doesnt matter what colour you are. I hope the students in Oxford are intelligent enough to judge others by their personality.
x
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*Katie*
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#113
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#113
(Original post by Anonymous)
I think I'm quite attractive - I'm slim nice smile, I think good personality - not being vain just saying - I have a lot of friends and would probably be labelled popular , though my school really isn;t cliquey.

I'm just worried that because I'm black noone will even consider me as 'pulleable' if you understand me - in the way you might look at someone and think 'yes she's fit, but I just wouldn't - don't ask me why'

Another thing that makes me think this is becuase most of the guys are white, middle class and will have been brought up surrounded by white girls and I will be something of an oddity.
I really really wish you weren't anon, OP so I could PM you. PM me if you want to chat more.
First off, I know almost everyone on this thread has good intentions, but they honest to God DO NOT know what they're talking about.
I am a) black and b) go to Oxford. One of my closest friends is exactly the same. The only difference being I am part black, and so fairly light-skinned, and she actual dark chocolate black and absolutely stunning.

I don't think there's any point worrying, but this is the most sensible post I've seen on the matter. Oxford guys may be open minded, but that doesn't mean they consider you dateable. My friend is gorgeous (just...striking, and tall, and has a FIT bod), and guys (mostly the gay ones:p:) will tell her so. But they will NEVER hit on her. EVER. She's had one bf for a little while (guess what race he was:rolleyes:), but essentially guys do not consider her in that way. The only reason I can think of for this is because she's black. She's really quite paranoid about it, and we talk about it but she can't really see the obvious and blames personality/looks whatever. It's all bull. They can see that she's gorgeous, and smart, and funny, but on first impressions she will lose out every time to me or one of our other friends. And some people just make the stupidest comments - she has dark skin but she isn't actually the colour of charcoal. It's dumb and annoys me more than anything but it's something she lives with. The worst thing is that she is really attracted to white guys. Pisses me off no end, sorry that was quite a rant.

Now, I honest to God do not think I am nearly as striking as she is, or as sexy (you can tell I'm in love with this woman :o:) but I get men hitting on me often enough. I've dated white men, black men, and a mexican (soo hot :yep:) on a worse personality and definitely on less attractiveness.

So to conclude, Oxford is **** for (actual) black girls to date non-blacks (and they're aren't that many black men spread about to boot). But there's really nothing you can do about that. Congrats on the place, and I'm sure it'll all work out.
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cherryhouse1508
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#114
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#114
wow that post by katie kind of makes all the other posts useless. but if shes telling the truth...shes telling the truth. and i kind of agree with katie about everyone finding a stunning black girl attractive, but not dateable.....ive seen this happen in my college. But i still wouldnt worry, (im honestly not just saying this) you will be fine!
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phones
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#115
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#115
(Original post by *Katie*)
I really really wish you weren't anon, OP so I could PM you. PM me if you want to chat more.
First off, I know almost everyone on this thread has good intentions, but they honest to God DO NOT know what they're talking about.
I am a) black and b) go to Oxford. One of my closest friends is exactly the same. The only difference being I am part black, and so fairly light-skinned, and she actual dark chocolate black and absolutely stunning.

I don't think there's any point worrying, but this is the most sensible post I've seen on the matter. Oxford guys may be open minded, but that doesn't mean they consider you dateable. My friend is gorgeous (just...striking, and tall, and has a FIT bod), and guys (mostly the gay ones:p:) will tell her so. But they will NEVER hit on her. EVER. She's had one bf for a little while (guess what race he was:rolleyes:), but essentially guys do not consider her in that way. The only reason I can think of for this is because she's black. She's really quite paranoid about it, and we talk about it but she can't really see the obvious and blames personality/looks whatever. It's all bull. They can see that she's gorgeous, and smart, and funny, but on first impressions she will lose out every time to me or one of our other friends. And some people just make the stupidest comments - she has dark skin but she isn't actually the colour of charcoal. It's dumb and annoys me more than anything but it's something she lives with. The worst thing is that she is really attracted to white guys. Pisses me off no end, sorry that was quite a rant.

Now, I honest to God do not think I am nearly as striking as she is, or as sexy (you can tell I'm in love with this woman :o:) but I get men hitting on me often enough. I've dated white men, black men, and a mexican (soo hot :yep:) on a worse personality and definitely on less attractiveness.

So to conclude, Oxford is **** for (actual) black girls to date non-blacks (and they're aren't that many black men spread about to boot). But there's really nothing you can do about that. Congrats on the place, and I'm sure it'll all work out.

wow that post by katie kind of makes all the other posts useless. but if shes telling the truth...shes telling the truth. and i kind of agree with katie about everyone finding a stunning black girl attractive, but not dateable.....ive seen this happen in my college. But i still wouldnt worry, (im honestly not just saying this) you will be fine

guys how can you say these and say please dont worry ? this has just cemented her worst worry.
i'm not doubting what you say as you have 1st hand experience its just after you've said this she definately has reason to worry!
sorry i'm just trying not to sugarcoat it and tell it like it is.
sorry op i hope it`s a one off experience....
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Anonymous #12
#116
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#116
(Original post by T.G.O.A.T)
Why are so many black girls posting anonymously especially when they say they like or are going out witha white guy? lmao. Talk about low self esteem and confidence. Theres no need to be ashamed.
Don't need to have my personal life documented on the internet, thank you.
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bete noire
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#117
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#117
(Original post by PeeWeeDan)
Ever liked a white guy? Yeah I thought so. Why would the converse be any different?
Nice and presumptuous
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Sarky
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#118
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#118
I'm not at Oxford, but I am at a university that until very recently had very few black people, and there still aren't very many on my course.

I think you're right in some respects. The average middle class white student isn't usually attracted to black girls, but then who wants average? I have had attention from white guys, but i've been in a relationship with my (white) boyfriend since my first year of university so i can't really judge too much.

My boyfriend and I went to school together, and I had no idea that he was ever attracted to me before we got together. I think there are peoplewho are attracted to black girls who just don't admit it.

Be yourself and you'll find someone that you deserve. Sounds a bit mushy but its worked for me so far.
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Anonymous #1
#119
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#119
(Original post by *Katie*)
I really really wish you weren't anon, OP so I could PM you. PM me if you want to chat more.
First off, I know almost everyone on this thread has good intentions, but they honest to God DO NOT know what they're talking about.
I am a) black and b) go to Oxford. One of my closest friends is exactly the same. The only difference being I am part black, and so fairly light-skinned, and she actual dark chocolate black and absolutely stunning.

I don't think there's any point worrying, but this is the most sensible post I've seen on the matter. Oxford guys may be open minded, but that doesn't mean they consider you dateable. My friend is gorgeous (just...striking, and tall, and has a FIT bod), and guys (mostly the gay ones:p:) will tell her so. But they will NEVER hit on her. EVER. She's had one bf for a little while (guess what race he was:rolleyes:), but essentially guys do not consider her in that way. The only reason I can think of for this is because she's black. She's really quite paranoid about it, and we talk about it but she can't really see the obvious and blames personality/looks whatever. It's all bull. They can see that she's gorgeous, and smart, and funny, but on first impressions she will lose out every time to me or one of our other friends. And some people just make the stupidest comments - she has dark skin but she isn't actually the colour of charcoal. It's dumb and annoys me more than anything but it's something she lives with. The worst thing is that she is really attracted to white guys. Pisses me off no end, sorry that was quite a rant.

Now, I honest to God do not think I am nearly as striking as she is, or as sexy (you can tell I'm in love with this woman :o:) but I get men hitting on me often enough. I've dated white men, black men, and a mexican (soo hot :yep:) on a worse personality and definitely on less attractiveness.

So to conclude, Oxford is **** for (actual) black girls to date non-blacks (and they're aren't that many black men spread about to boot). But there's really nothing you can do about that. Congrats on the place, and I'm sure it'll all work out.
Wow.
Firstly, I can't quite believe that this thread got resurrected, but I'm glad, because this isn't the kind of issue that just goes away.

Secondly, thanks katie for such an honest reply. To be honest, despite the anecdotes from people saying 'I'm a white guy who fancies black girls' or 'My dog's sister's great-aunt's cousin who is black has a white boyfriend', I know that the reality of it is that most (middleclass) white guys don't often see black girls as dateable, no matter how pretty/intelligent/funny they are. Having grown up/socialised largely in an environment which is hugely white and middle class (private education), I've always been aware that I received significantly less attention , than girls less pretty/nice than I. I know that tbh, what I've experienced in all likelihood is just a microcosm of Oxford, which may possibly be even less diverse than the environment I'm in now.

I think it is still expected on some subconscious level, that people date within their own race. The only time my male friends ever tried to set me up (a rite of passage with them, all secretly Jewish mothers), it was with a guy who had a crush on me, but I'd never spoken to - he was...black, of course. Its almost as if they felt that black people should only date other black people.

And the sad thing is, despite our reputation for multiculturality, it is very much a British mindset. I just went on holiday with my (all white) girl mates recently to Spain, and without being boastful, I was (physically at points) fighting off male attention left, right and centre. Guys would literally stop in the streets to compliment me (and yes I'll admit some of them were British) and shouts of 'que guapa' (loosely translates as hot) followed me everywhere. The situation was radically different from what I've previously encountered in my middle-class enclave up until now.
I went from being the one who received the least male ttention when out with friends in bars and clubs, to the one who received far more than anyone else.

And the funny thing is, up until this holiday with friends, I'd gotten so used to my 'situation' that I'd actually become convinced that perhaps I was just an average looking plain Jane, and quite dull, which would explain the lack of attention. I'm going out to bars in central London the next two nights, and I'm actually curious to how things will go (and I'll let you guys know!) I think it will be a very telling experiment.
This trip abroad only made me think I won't be marrying a British guy.

But I digress, hugely.

I think katies reaction (and someone else who posted something earlier on, I can't remember name, but she said sort of a similar thing) is the most accurate and realistic opinion. That is what I've put up with so far, and tbh, no matter how openminded/intelligent/amazing Oxford guys are , I'm sure thats what I will experience at uni.

Apologies for the essay.
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phones
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#120
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#120
well i have grown up in very middle class surroundings going to an affluent school and this has not been the case for me .
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