Think my bf is getting bored of sex with me.... Watch

SamTheMan
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#101
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#101
(Original post by kelli :))
someone doing something just because they feel like they have to, and not because they want to, is a major turn off.
this should all come more naturally.
rep for you. You've got the right attitude.
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emilina
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#102
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#102
the person who i was talking to was talking about 'us' plural, as in everyone on the thread

which is why i replied as 'we' plural rather than just 'i' singular. had she been talking to just me, i would have said i.

just to clear that up
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emilina
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#103
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#103
(Original post by SamTheMan)
Ok, not aiming this directly at you as apparently "you" (plural) are all saying that but it doesn't sound like she ever refused categorically to do certain things with her boyfriend. She has yet to feel comfortable about them.

At least she knows what she likes and is getting pleasure from it.

Why on earth should you feel morally obliged to do things you're not comfortable with, just to "please" a partner even if it is painful/unpleasant/disgusting to you? You try those things once you feel comfortable with the idea.

because her boyfriend is

she said that he hates a certain position (i think it was missionary?) but she loves it. so they do it.
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SamTheMan
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#104
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(Original post by emilina)
because her boyfriend is

she said that he hates a certain position (i think it was missionary?) but she loves it. so they do it.
I think that this is where the discussion is going wrong: the way that he dislikes doing missionary (as in "boring...can we do another position") is not the same as disliking having someone come in your mouth for example or disliking the pain of a certain position.
She has a healthy attitude and is doing what she's comfortable with with this guy.
Why assume that just because you're sleeping with someone, they must be the right person to try everything?... it's a massive mistake you can make. Wait until you're ready and comfortable and it feels natural and wait until it's with the right person to make you comfortable.
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emilina
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#105
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#105
(Original post by SamTheMan)
I think that this is where the discussion is going wrong: the way that he dislikes doing missionary (as in "boring...can we do another position") is not the same as disliking having someone come in your mouth for example or disliking the pain of a certain position.
She has a healthy attitude and is doing what she's comfortable with with this guy.
Why assume that just because you're sleeping with someone, they must be the right person to try everything?... it's a massive mistake you can make. Wait until you're ready and comfortable and it feels natural and wait until it's with the right person to make you comfortable.
how do you know he hates it because it is boring? he may have other reasons for hating it, for example it may be uncomfortable for him.

i never said anythign about her giving him a blow job, and she herself has admitted that most don't hurt, they are just a bit uncomfortable. tbh i find most positions uncomfortable but do it anyway.

i am not saying she should do anything that would hurt her in the slightest or make her genuinely unhappy, i am just saying that some compromise is in order since he is doing that for her.
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roma1987
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#106
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i think both of you are arguing uncesseraily as in the end she has admitted that the reason she doesnt want to do alot of things is either because.....they dont feel that pleasureable and the main issue...she doesnt feel confident she is insecure. thats the issue to tackle here.
Its nothing to do with how painful or how disgusting.
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Adarah
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#107
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#107
Have you tried turning the lights down really low and just a few candles, then you don't have to worry about him seeing your body in 'weird' positions and might be more happy experimenting!
Good luck!
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butterfly_girl_5
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#108
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#108
(Original post by emilina)
because her boyfriend is

she said that he hates a certain position (i think it was missionary?) but she loves it. so they do it.
doing a standard position in sex that he dislikes for the simple reason he thinks its boring is not unpleasant/painful/uncomfortable as sam said
thats the difference

people talk as if just because this girl isnt up for more variation that that means her boyfriend is somehow in some deficit- thats not how relationships should work- firstly, sex is an aspect of their relationship, and secondly if theres a significant difference in experience or confidence the more experienced or more confident partner should be sensitive and respectful of the other- sex is a very personal thing and people cant help feel very vulnerable, exposed or uncomfortable (physically or emotionally)
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butterfly_girl_5
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#109
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(Original post by emilina)
how do you know he hates it because it is boring? he may have other reasons for hating it, for example it may be uncomfortable for him.
its the name of the thread.
the OP has also said so
It maybe so that the boyfriend has other feelings about this than are represented by his girlfriend in this thread, but as with all internet threads, you have to go on what has been said since thats all you have

(Original post by emilina)

i never said anything about her giving him a blow job, and she herself has admitted that most don't hurt, they are just a bit uncomfortable. tbh i find most positions uncomfortable but do it anyway.

i am not saying she should do anything that would hurt her in the slightest or make her genuinely unhappy, i am just saying that some compromise is in order since he is doing that for her.
This is the problem- it would make a lot of people genuinely unhappy to do what you in this thread are all suggesting. Sam didn't imply you personally talked about blowjobs- he was giving an example of the sort of things people think the OP should do to 'compromise'-blowjobs were specifically mentioned.
if you do lots of positions you find uncomfortable, either you genuinely don't mind and are happy to do them, or you're compromising in a way some people think is unhealthy- either way, just because you do it it doesn't follow everyone else should.
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ssk2
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#110
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#110
sex is a very personal thing and people cant help feel very vulnerable, exposed or uncomfortable (physically or emotionally)
No, sex is a shared thing between two people... Surely?
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huangcjz
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#111
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(Original post by ssk2)
No, sex is a shared thing between two people... Surely?
It's both shared and personal - you're sharing your body and emotions, both of which are very personal, with another person (or people! If there's more than two... :p:)
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butterfly_girl_5
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#112
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#112
(Original post by ssk2)
No, sex is a shared thing between two people... Surely?
perhaps intimate is a better word
but I dont see how what you say contradicts what I said
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SamTheMan
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#113
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#113
(Original post by emilina)
how do you know he hates it because it is boring? he may have other reasons for hating it, for example it may be uncomfortable for him.
Oh please... If we're going to make ridiculous assumptions, let's assume that he doesn't like the missionary because it reminds him of the traumatic childhood experience of being forced to do pushups in PE.

(Original post by emilina)
i never said anythign about her giving him a blow job, and she herself has admitted that most don't hurt, they are just a bit uncomfortable. tbh i find most positions uncomfortable but do it anyway.
Well good for you, as long as you're making sure you're getting the pleasure you want out of it and enough orgasms.
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Anonymous #8
#114
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#114
hi guys.
this is a different Anonymous here but I have a related problem so I thought I'd quickly pick your brains ...
me and my boyfriend (I'm female) don't have BORING sex and I am quite adventurous. (Multiple positions, oral, different locations (both inside and outside), different clothing, anal, etc.) I'm fine with trying whatever. BUT ... he is starting to complain that he does most of the work! Which is true haha. It's not that I'm lazy, I just don't really have the experience to understand how *I* do the work :o: Quite often (most sessions) I spend a little bit of time on top and I take over then, but in any other position I am at a loss of what to do! Any tips on how the girl can do some of the work? I don't really know what I'm doing!
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Anonymous #1
#115
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#115
(Original post by SamTheMan)
I think that this is where the discussion is going wrong: the way that he dislikes doing missionary (as in "boring...can we do another position") is not the same as disliking having someone come in your mouth for example or disliking the pain of a certain position.
She has a healthy attitude and is doing what she's comfortable with with this guy.
Why assume that just because you're sleeping with someone, they must be the right person to try everything?... it's a massive mistake you can make. Wait until you're ready and comfortable and it feels natural and wait until it's with the right person to make you comfortable.
Thank you! this is exactly what I am trying to say but everyone has took this discussion the wrong way!
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Tezcatlipoca
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#116
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#116
During sex reach round and slip your thumb up his arse. I dare him call you boring then.
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Anonymous #1
#117
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#117
I think I am starting to sort the problem out on my own anyway, thanku everyone for your advice and opinions!
We got quite drunk the other night and did everything and I loved it! also last night I gave him a bj, which I actually wanted to do!
I'm starting to just think... I need to be comfortable with my own body!
Its not that i'm not comfortable with my bf. I'm not comfortable with myself but i'm gonna try to be from now on.
I think some of you girls that are just giving blowjobs and having sex in uncomfortable positions just to please your man have worse problems than me! At least I actually tell my bf when I don't want to do something or don't feel like it. Your just doing it to keep him happy! which is wrong I think. ahh well we all have different views on this I suppose!
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Anonymous #1
#118
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#118
(Original post by Tezcatlipoca)
During sex reach round and slip your thumb up his arse. I dare him call you boring then.

hahahaha lol Id hate to put my thumb up anyone's arse thanks!
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SamTheMan
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#119
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#119
Just out of curiosity, how serious is it with this boyfriend and how long have you been going out? Is he your first sexual partner?
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Tezcatlipoca
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#120
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#120
(Original post by Anonymous)
hahahaha lol Id hate to put my thumb up anyone's arse thanks!
If he wanted you to try it, would you?
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