Mrs, Miss or Ms - What do you want to be called? Watch

Coy Girl
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#101
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#101
I am not married, so Miss for the time being! But hopefully one day I shall get married and therefore would like to be called Mrs :love:
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Mikimoto
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#102
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#102
I'd be quite happy to be called Miss or Mrs - I don't really see the point in Ms.
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Tufts
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#103
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#103
(Original post by juicyfruit)
I agree.
It's gone past equality between the genders, instead some women believe they are more important than men... nobody should feel like they are more important than other genders/races/religions.
Husbands are not expected to take their wives surname and yet wives are expected to take their husband's surname. Equality?
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Brouhaha
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#104
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#104
(Original post by juicyfruit)
No, you are remarking that you are more important than a man, not equal too by saying you are too important to take his surname. It's a name, have you ever thought of what the husband may feel?
The husband will feel how a wife will feel when she is expected to take HIS surname.
Both parties are equal, therefore, it is impossible for one to take the name of another without declaring that they are subordinate.
If my husband had a problem with me keeping my own name, then he would be a bit of a chauvinist anti-feminist, and it's unlikely I'd marry him anyway.
Come back to me in 30 years when you're cooking dinner for hubbie every night and not sharing the chores and tell me if you still feel the same
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juicyfruit
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#105
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#105
(Original post by Brouhaha)
The husband will feel how a wife will feel when she is expected to take HIS surname.
Both parties are equal, therefore, it is impossible for one to take the name of another without declaring that they are subordinate.
If my husband had a problem with me keeping my own name, then he would be a bit of a chauvinist anti-feminist, and it's unlikely I'd marry him anyway.
Come back to me in 30 years when you're cooking dinner for hubbie every night and not sharing the chores and tell me if you still feel the same
Just because I chose to take my husband's surname, does not mean I will fit the role you percieve if you were to take your husband's surname. It doesn't mean I'll be cooking for him and doing my own chores - have I ever mentioned this... NO!
Don't sterotype me.
Absolutely ridiculous assumption.
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Andrii
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#106
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#106
(Original post by Fjarskafinn)
I get the impression that these guidelines offend more people than would otherwise.

Personally I'd be proud to become a 'Mrs' after marrying someone - I'd like my marital status to reflect in my name.
I've got no problem with people calling me 'Miss' since I'm 19 and unmarried. Besides, the title 'Ms' for me connotates as a title for a woman who doesn't intend to get married - an example being a teacher from my old school who was a lesbian. :p:
:ditto: completely agree- I'd be more than happy and quite proud to be Mrs once I get married but for the time being Miss would do just fine (I'm 16 and not likely to get married any time that soon:tongue:).
Also ditto to the Ms thing- one of the teachers at my school is "Ms" and funnily enough she is a lesbian :tongue: We only recently found out though after inquiring why every other female member of staff is listed as either Mrs or Miss apart from her! (we didn't actually ask her directly... we asked another teacher... they seem to love talking about one another behind their backs!)
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Tufts
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#107
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#107
(Original post by Brouhaha)
Come back to me in 30 years when you're cooking dinner for hubbie every night and not sharing the chores and tell me if you still feel the same
:clap2:
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Brouhaha
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#108
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#108
(Original post by juicyfruit)
Just because I chose to take my husband's surname, does not mean I will fit the role you percieve if you were to take your husband's surname. It doesn't mean I'll be cooking for him and doing my own chores - have I ever mentioned this... NO!
Don't sterotype me.
Absolutely ridiculous assumption.
Well, you think you'll "offend" your husband if you don't take his name. Take his name if you like, but do it 'cos YOU want to, not because "he might not like it". That's just regressive.
And no, but you have implied it, see above.
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JMonkey
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#109
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#109
(Original post by Tufts)
Husbands are not expected to take their wives surname and yet wives are expected to take their husband's surname. Equality?
Personally I'd worry more about wage equality, a name on a piece of paper is academic compared to that. Feminism is all very well, but why not focus on something important and then tackle the minor issues surely. It's a tradition it's not like men are asking you to get branded with their mark, and if you don't want to no one is forcing you to. The glass ceiling has got to be way more important to the average woman than that surely? Man I seriously doubt anyone outside of this forum gives much of a toss about an antiquated and non legally binding convention that lost all meaning a hundred years ago.
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Brouhaha
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#110
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#110
(Original post by JMonkey)
Personally I'd worry more about wage equality, a name on a piece of paper is academic compared to that. Feminism is all very well, but why not focus on something important and then tackle the minor issues surely. It's a tradition it's not like men are asking you to get branded with their mark, and if you don't want to no one is forcing you to. The glass ceiling has got to be way more important to the average woman than that surely? Man I seriously doubt anyone outside of this forum gives much of a toss about an antiquated and non legally binding convention that lost all meaning a hundred years ago.
Well, the vast majority of feminists that I talk to call themselves Ms, so for us, it IS a tiny issue, and one that's long been forgotten. However here, there seem to be quite a lot of women who think differently.
I agree with you that it's important not to get bogged down with petty things, but sometimes tackling minor issues first can help the overall situation.
Believe me I am a lot more committed to fighting things like wage inequalities, sex trafficking and subjugation of women than the Miss/Ms conundrum. My mother calls herself Mrs and no way do I judge her for it. It was the reasons that certain people were giving for their decision that annoyed me.
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JMonkey
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#111
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#111
(Original post by Brouhaha)
Well, the vast majority of feminists that I talk to call themselves Ms, so for us, it IS a tiny issue, and one that's long been forgotten. However here, there seem to be quite a lot of women who think differently.
I agree with you that it's important not to get bogged down with petty things, but sometimes tackling minor issues first can help the overall situation.
Believe me I am a lot more committed to fighting things like wage inequalities, sex trafficking and subjugation of women than the Miss/Ms conundrum. My mother calls herself Mrs and no way do I judge her for it. It was the reasons that certain people were giving for their decision that annoyed me.
I stand corrected, well said Brouhaha.
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<_Salmon_>
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#112
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#112
As a male I've been advised to adress a woman as "ma'am". A couple of women have said they prefer this. Do other women concur?
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Tufts
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#113
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#113
(Original post by JMonkey)
Personally I'd worry more about wage equality, a name on a piece of paper is academic compared to that. Feminism is all very well, but why not focus on something important and then tackle the minor issues surely. It's a tradition it's not like men are asking you to get branded with their mark, and if you don't want to no one is forcing you to. The glass ceiling has got to be way more important to the average woman than that surely? Man I seriously doubt anyone outside of this forum gives much of a toss about an antiquated and non legally binding convention that lost all meaning a hundred years ago.
Why can't we try to change inequalities big and small? After all, it's the accumulation of small inequalities that feed the existence of large inequalities. By 'feed' I mean strengthen and justify.
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graveyarddreams
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#114
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#114
I prefer Ms.
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Jenii
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#115
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#115
Yay for Tufts and Brouhaha! You make good points.
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serrellen
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#116
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#116
I love this thread. Shame I didn't find it earlier. I was talking about this with my boyfriend and it turns out he's desperate to change his name... so the current boyf I wouldn't have a problem. Going from Miss to Mrs of the same name would be weird though. I think I prefer Ms.
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Helenia
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#117
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#117
(Original post by <_Salmon_>)
As a male I've been advised to adress a woman as "ma'am". A couple of women have said they prefer this. Do other women concur?
That's what you call a)female army officers and b)minor royals. Being neither of them, I don't think I'd like it. "Madam" in shops etc is not quite as bad (I'm not sure what it is about dropping the d that makes the difference, but it's there nonetheless), but it implies that they've taken the decision you're now too old to be called "Miss" without being offended.

Frankly, I'd rather any of the above rather than "Love," "Darling," "Duck" etc which I find rather patronising when not coming from close friends.
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Malsy
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#118
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#118
(Original post by <_Salmon_>)
As a male I've been advised to adress a woman as "ma'am". A couple of women have said they prefer this. Do other women concur?

does anyone else think this is a more common american term

personally i think it shows respect and i really like it-unfortunately i doubt, anyone will be saying that to me any time soon, :p:
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Tufts
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#119
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#119
(Original post by Helenia)
That's what you call a)female army officers and b)minor royals. Being neither of them, I don't think I'd like it. "Madam" in shops etc is not quite as bad (I'm not sure what it is about dropping the d that makes the difference, but it's there nonetheless), but it implies that they've taken the decision you're now too old to be called "Miss" without being offended.

Frankly, I'd rather any of the above rather than "Love," "Darling," "Duck" etc which I find rather patronising when not coming from close friends.
You get called 'duck'? :eek:

I'm jealous :sad:
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curryADD
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#120
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#120
(Original post by Fjarskafinn)
I get the impression that these guidelines offend more people than would otherwise.

Personally I'd be proud to become a 'Mrs' after marrying someone - I'd like my marital status to reflect in my name.
I've got no problem with people calling me 'Miss' since I'm 19 and unmarried. Besides, the title 'Ms' for me connotates as a title for a woman who doesn't intend to get married - an example being a teacher from my old school who was a lesbian. :p:
Same here. I'm happy to be a Mrs. but as I'm nineteen, most people don't assume I am one. Being called Ms. though, that would bother me :p:
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