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    (Original post by ANONYM00SE)
    Someone please give me motivation for my exams :cry2: I've done nothing for 2 weeks and I just can't push myself to do anything I don't want to end up not getting in to uni this is my last chance :cry2: literally cannot get myself to do anything..... this time last year i was slogging my guts out, working all the time for exams and really really hard... this time around i am doing nothing but feel ****
    Its a bit weird but sometimes i just go on the uni website and read about the course youre doing or stuff students can do in the city your uni's in. Idk its kinda random but sometimes it helps me :^_^:
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    (Original post by IDukem)
    It sucks doesn't it? :hugs: I'm sorry to hear that about your family :hugs: Sometimes they try and help but unintentionally makes things worse or not say Anthony because they're worried they'd say the wrong thing :-/ When people say "be more positive" that annoys me because it's easier said than done! If they said "perhaps you could be more positive if you tried something new" or something similar, that's less annoying to me because at least they're trying to make something of a suggestion. My family are helpful, but I need a friend...a close friend that can raise me up when i'm down and make me laugh when I can't seem to even crack a smile. I just don't have one and I never really did have one either Two of my teachers are nice are extremely caring and chat to one of them every once in a while
    I wish I could develop thicker skin so I can brush stuff off. I'm sure people don't mean the things they say or are unaware that they're mentally hurting people, but it means something to me and it's hard to shake off. My lack of confidence and self-esteem has gotten the better of me so many times but I find it hard change that. I'm sorry to hear about your roundabout accident :hugs: :hugs: It doesn't make you sound pathetic or worthless at all as it wasn't your fault at all, but I understand how it's easy to think that it is
    Yeah i'm the same with everything you said there. One of my teachers understands how hard I work and does praise me when she can, but whether i'm just being pathetic or not I don't know but sometimes some praise can really lift my spirits up. Worthless just somes up how I feel about myself at this period of time to be honest

    Hopefully things will pick up for the both us eh? :hugs:
    I think I forgot to reply so I'll just reply again anyway even if I have
    Ohhhh I know the whole well if you were more positive then things would be a lot easier... YESSSSSS thanks captain obvious but that is pretty much the whole problem... depression and positivity aren't exactly best buddies!
    I know what you mean friends wise - I just have my boyfriend... all my friends kind of ditched me since I first got diagnosed 5 years ago and new friends back off when they know about it... because I am the party pooper and unreliable if they want to go out or party etc... because 99% of the time I will turn them down... who wants to be friends with the girl who doesn't know how to have fun and is grumpy all the time?
    Self confidence and self esteem... or rather lack of.. has really buggered me up too :hugs: i have turned down countless opportunities because i think i'm not good enough.
    that's really good that you have a few teachers who will praise you though... i know what you mean, praise can really make you feel good even if it's just a simple well done nice piece of work there.... i'm not asking for OMG YOU ARE A GENIUS HOW DID THE WORLD SURVIVE WITHOUT YOU although that'd be pretty cool
    I don't think you're being pathetic - I feel exactly the same :hugs: I know the worthless feeling too... sometimes I just think well wtf what is the use of me being 'here' what exactly do i do? i am useless... but then i have to kind of force myself to think well i am not a bad person... it's not like i steal or hurt people or kill people or commit loads of crimes... i hate the fact i am just an average person though... i dunno i just never feeel good enough
    thanks i hope so too :hugs:
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    (Original post by eddie4921)
    Its a bit weird but sometimes i just go on the uni website and read about the course youre doing or stuff students can do in the city your uni's in. Idk its kinda random but sometimes it helps me :^_^:
    It's not weird at all Thanks for the idea
    Are you doing A levels?
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    (Original post by bleary)
    Hope your feeling a little better now :penguinhug:. It will all turn out okay in the end.


    Thank-you :hugs: no not really.. but oh well.. just trying to think about what to do now :/
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    (Original post by ANONYM00SE)
    It's not weird at all Thanks for the idea
    Are you doing A levels?
    Yeah psychology, i tought myself. I already have 3 other a levels but my results werent too good, so im doing another one to get enough points to do psychology at uni in september

    What a levels are you doing? and what you doing at uni :cute:
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    (Original post by -FireFlies-)
    I know.. the weather is just weird! It was hailstones this morning..then sunny and now cloudy and dark :lol:... yeah agree with you there.. some are boooring.. but this year half the countries just sucked :L

    I will indeed .... haha yeah you know me too well :ninja: Bruno Mars ? :love: - Locked out of Heaven... Love that song!

    Glad today is better for you though! :hugs: Meh not great really :L

    :lovehug:
    Hailstones hurt but are so cool...i'm the only one who thinks that? Okay then :getmecoat: haha. Ha! It's sunny and blue skies over here They weren't that good I agree, I can't remember a lot of them..except Finland

    Well you are like digital-sis Yes!! I love that song and When I Was Your Man

    Thanks hun! Aww how come? :hugs:

    :lovehug:
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    Had to cancel the flat inspection today cos I feel too ill. And I have to get up to teach choir tonight. Motivation is at rock bottom. I just want to sleep or stare at the ceiling. Not happy at all.
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    time for an emoti overload from poncho!

    :clap2::cookie::crown::dance::excited::five::giggle::happy2::party::party2::thumbsup::woo::woohoo::yay::yeah:

    my Dr wrote me a drs note so i can pick it up tomorrow and hand in my extenuating circumstances.:yep:

    he shouldnt have done it, but he did just for me
    and iv been to the shop
    AND put some washing in, still have an essay to write though!
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    Everything feels painful right now. Nothing is rational and everything is hard. Resorted to crying in bed ALL day and it's wearing me down. Mirtazapine makes me feel too nauseous to eat and I still can't sleep properly


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    Feeling pretty ****ty atm. Didn't have the telephone interview I was suppose to, as it turns out the phone number on my CV was missing a digit.
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    Feeling quite low.. Bit overwhelmed with work and wondering if I'm going to **** up this year. I'm scared because if I do, the only explanation I will have for it is illness, and I don't want to GIVE that as an explanation to anyone. I wish I'd never got ill and that things would just be a little bit easier. And that's not a very good line for me to go down because the only explanation for there being so many things wrong with me isn't very good to think about and makes me feel bad.
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    (Original post by Mouse Potato)
    I've been told that trazodone shouldn't make me put on weight. Did you find it effective as an AD?

    They wanted me to be on it for at least 2 years, maybe more, so it's nice to know that the effects wear off a bit eventually.

    I'm so worried that mine won't plateau and will just keep going up and up... I've put on loads already. I usually struggle to put on weight so this is really weird.
    No I didn't find trazodone useful, but then mirtazapine has been the only effective one out of 9 antidepressants. They all work differently for different people so don't let that put you off.

    I've been on it about 4 years now and pretty much all the side effects have worn off, which is nice. I can't say for certain that your weight will also plateau but mine did so maybe. I've taken other drugs (olanzapine) and put on 50lbs in a month and was still gaining so I know how horrible it feels to put on a lot of weight. :console:
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    No I didn't find trazodone useful, but then mirtazapine has been the only effective one out of 9 antidepressants. They all work differently for different people so don't let that put you off.

    I've been on it about 4 years now and pretty much all the side effects have worn off, which is nice. I can't say for certain that your weight will also plateau but mine did so maybe. I've taken other drugs (olanzapine) and put on 50lbs in a month and was still gaining so I know how horrible it feels to put on a lot of weight. :console:
    Yeah, I've been on a fair few things that haven't worked too so I'm wary about changing a combination that works. I think I'm going to try and stay on mirt for the moment and switch to trazodone in about 4-6 weeks if I don't notice much improvement.

    Woah, I'd heard olanzapine was bad for weight gain but I didn't realise it was that bad! I almost got put on that instead of Abilify. A bit of research makes it look like a lot of people plateau after a few months, so I'm guessing it's relatively normal?

    Thank you, this made me feel less alone
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    i have no motivation to get this essay done and it has to be in tomorrow

    would rather do ANYTHING than do it. really need to find some form of motivation and quick
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    (Original post by ANONYM00SE)
    I think I forgot to reply so I'll just reply again anyway even if I have
    Ohhhh I know the whole well if you were more positive then things would be a lot easier... YESSSSSS thanks captain obvious but that is pretty much the whole problem... depression and positivity aren't exactly best buddies!
    I know what you mean friends wise - I just have my boyfriend... all my friends kind of ditched me since I first got diagnosed 5 years ago and new friends back off when they know about it... because I am the party pooper and unreliable if they want to go out or party etc... because 99% of the time I will turn them down... who wants to be friends with the girl who doesn't know how to have fun and is grumpy all the time?
    Self confidence and self esteem... or rather lack of.. has really buggered me up too :hugs: i have turned down countless opportunities because i think i'm not good enough.
    that's really good that you have a few teachers who will praise you though... i know what you mean, praise can really make you feel good even if it's just a simple well done nice piece of work there.... i'm not asking for OMG YOU ARE A GENIUS HOW DID THE WORLD SURVIVE WITHOUT YOU although that'd be pretty cool
    I don't think you're being pathetic - I feel exactly the same :hugs: I know the worthless feeling too... sometimes I just think well wtf what is the use of me being 'here' what exactly do i do? i am useless... but then i have to kind of force myself to think well i am not a bad person... it's not like i steal or hurt people or kill people or commit loads of crimes... i hate the fact i am just an average person though... i dunno i just never feeel good enough
    thanks i hope so too :hugs:
    It's all right haha
    I know but people just can't seem to understand that >.< It's not like I choose to feel this low and have bad social anxiety...I wouldn't wish on anyone.
    Me and you have similar lives then Except I don't have a girlfriend and although a girlfriend would solve all my problems, it'd be nice knowing I'd have someone other than family, teachers/lecturers and counsellors there for me. Friends can provide such a boost but then they drop you straight away without a solid reason :-/ I'm trying to convince myself that relationships are over-rated but they aren't and are one of the best connections you have in life. I don't go clubbing because A)my anxiety will flare up but also B) It isn't really my scene and I love chilling listening to music inside...boring I know but so what!?
    It sucks that someone else feels like this, but at least someone at least relates to me :hugs: I've turned down opportunities because i'm not good enough, cause I care about other people too much and because I don't have the energy. All three have been used as an excuse for me not taking up an opportunity. That would be epic if someone was like "IDukem, you're a fudging genius" But praise and small talk can make me happier than people realise. Someone saying hi to me walking by can mean something to me, because they didn't have to say hi. My personal teacher today waved at me but me being confused for she wanted someone else, until I went over to her and asked who she wanted onyl for her to say "I waved to say hello to you"...stuff like that does make me feel happier cause it tells me that people acknowledge my existence.
    I don't think your pathetic or worthless also hun :hugs: I hate feeling average and inadequate to the point where i'm accepting it rather than trying to prove people wrong for which used to be a trademark of mine back in the days of GCSE and sixth form
    It will, but it may take awhile but I won't give up :hugs: #TeamIBelieve n'all

    Thanks for understanding and generally speaking to me, I greatly appreciate it and I will rep one of your posts as a thank you (even if it means little ) :hugs:
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    ED stuff
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    iv eaten so much today, im putting off an essay so i thought id count the calories iv consumed, and wow, no wonder im ****ing gigantic :sad: pretty sure im currently in a binge mode because im still hungry but im not eating proper meals iv just eaten loads of crap, feel so useless that i cant even eat normal food


    SH stuff
    Spoiler:
    Show
    i keep looking on my arm and find new scratches that i dont even recall happening, and i think its only gonna get worse because i canf ****ing do this essay, i dont know what im talking about, i might put this module code on my extenuating circumstances form and do it when im feeling more intact with reality, as i have no idea what iv even done today, i seemed to spend all morning and afternoon in bed so close to just giving in


    such a failure and a mess
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    Don't thnk im cut out for thiss. Everythuhg is cpnfuding and brioken. Why amm I never evert good enouggh. Why cant I do this this is tio much i feel so alonre and lost


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    Minus some new and odd side effects and the continuation of others, today hasn't been all that bad. Physically I feel pretty damn ****e but emotionally I'm feeling rather good. Hopefully the emotionally will last and the physically will melt away eventually.

    Hope you're all feeling okay today


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    (Original post by rmhumphries)
    Feeling pretty ****ty atm. Didn't have the telephone interview I was suppose to, as it turns out the phone number on my CV was missing a digit.
    :hugs: Sorry I didn't see this earlier. Can you reschedule the interview for sometime soon?
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    (Original post by Kindred)
    Minus some new and odd side effects and the continuation of others, today hasn't been all that bad. Physically I feel pretty damn sh*te but emotionally I'm feeling rather good. Hopefully the emotionally will last and the physically will melt away eventually.

    Hope you're all feeling okay today


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    Just a warning - you can get warned for partially starring swear words, would avoid doing so

    Glad to hear today has been reasonable

    (Original post by superwolf)
    :hugs: Sorry I didn't see this earlier. Can you reschedule the interview for sometime soon?
    At the point of post, I had contacted them - I was waiting for their response. They phoned me (at 19:20 - someone is working too hard!) and we have rescheduled now for tomorrow.
 
 
 
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