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    (Original post by Mr.Messy)
    Why can't Chinese people use the phone?

    Because they wing the wrong number ;D
    I don't understand it :emo:
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    (Original post by Bella Occhi)
    I don't understand it :emo:
    Lol

    Wing, instead of ring because Wing is a popular Chinese name.

    Bad joke anyways :cry2:
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    What do you get when you cross a cow, a sheep and a goat?
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    The Milky Baa Kid

    :teehee:
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    (Original post by Mr.Messy)
    Lol

    Wing, instead of ring because Wing is a popular Chinese name.

    Bad joke anyways :cry2:
    you should change the 'wrong' to 'wong' too... so it would read "wing the wong number". wong is a common name and they can't say r's properly lol
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    (Original post by ddua_dduges)
    you should change the 'wrong' to 'wong' too... so it would read "wing the wong number". wong is a common name and they can't say r's properly lol
    Lol
    Good call (Y)
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    (Original post by Mr.Messy)
    Lol

    Wing, instead of ring because Wing is a popular Chinese name.

    Bad joke anyways :cry2:
    It would have been funnier if you said they wing the wong number :awesome:

    :getmecoat:
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    what's brown and sticky?

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    POO!:bigsmile:
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    A blonde was driving down the road listening to the radio and was quite upset when she heard blonde joke after blonde joke. A little way down the road, she saw another blonde out in a field rowing a boat. The blonde stopped her car and angrily jumped out yelling,

    "You dumb blonde bimbo! It's blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name! If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!"
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    What does a ginger miss the most at a party?
    The Invitation !
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    Why did the Mcanns cross the road.....to leave their kids on the other side

    I'm josef fritzel and no windows was my idea
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    What do you get if you cross human DNA with that of a goat.........banned from the petting zoo
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    Hmmm I dunno I usually charge rep or something for my jokes but...

    This cracks me up everytime
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    Iron Man is a super-hero. Iron Woman, is a command


    Embrace mysogyny.
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    (Original post by vedderfan94)
    Fail. There is no strong attraction between neutrons and protons.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strong_force
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    we've all heard of the saying 'safety in numbers' try telling that to 6 million Jews.....

    ouch



    what's better than winning double paralympic gold?
    having legs

    boooom
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    Whats the difference between oral and anal?















    Oral might make your day, but anal makes your whole week.
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    (Original post by SamiFFXIII)
    I hate it when I hear someone joke about the Holocaust. It's just so wrong.

    Anne Frankly, I won't stand for it.
    I agree, that sort of joke is out of Mein Kampfort zone.
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    An old one but makes me laugh whenever I hear it:

    Three guys in a desert, they meet a wizard who has a magical slide. The wizard tells them that if they yell out what they wanna land in, they will land in it.

    First guy yells out: WAAAAATERRRR - lands in water.
    Second guy yells out: BEEEER - and lands in some beer.
    Third guy has a bit too much fun going down the slide and yells: weeeeeeee!

    ....
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    (Original post by RedGuy)
    Spoiler:
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    Joke 1

    A gorilla walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender finds this very peculiar and realizes he is dreaming. He then wakes up and tells his wife about the ridiculous dream he just had. His wife just ignores him, he rolls over and starts to sob because he knows his marriage is in shambles.

    Joke 2

    A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

    Joke 3

    A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

    Joke 4

    Your mother is so morbidly obese that she is at great risk for heart disease.

    Joke 5

    Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge? She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem.

    Joke 6

    Knock, knock. Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband is in hospital.

    Joke 7

    Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

    Joke 8

    Why did the deer cross the road? So it could stand in the middle of the ****ing road and kill my dad in a crash when I was 15. (RIP Kevin)

    Joke 9

    Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

    Joke 10

    Two men are sitting in a pub. One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.' The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidise her drug habit.'

    Joke 11

    Two cows are in a field. Suddenly, from behind a bush, a rabbit leaps out and runs away. One cow looks round a bit, eats some grass and then wanders off.

    Joke 12

    A nun is on a plane, escorting a trained chimpanzee to an orphanage. After some time, the chimp won't sit still. The nun notices it's because of a man smoking a big cigar, and the smoke is going right in the chimps face. The nun asks him nicely to throw out the cigar, but he refuses. She pleads with him but the man refuses, and a heated argument starts. Finally, a stewardess shows up and demands he throw the cigar out. The man yells, "Fine, for heaven sakes!". He throws the cigar out of the window and the plane falls and crashes. They all die.

    Joke 13

    You: Have you heard that joke about no and me neither?
    Them; No.
    You: Me neither.

    Joke 14

    Knock knock?
    Who's there?
    To.
    To who?
    To whom.

    Joke 15

    What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

    Joke 16

    Whats worse than the Holocaust? 6 million Jews.

    Joke 17

    How does Bob Marley like his doughnuts? He doesn't, he's dead.

    Joke 18

    What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

    Joke 19

    Two bears are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other - "I'm gonna f**k you in the ass".

    Joke 20

    What do a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

    Joke 21

    What's the difference between a lamp post and a cat? Motorcycles don't have doors!

    Joke 22

    What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

    Joke 23

    Why didn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he had no legs. Why didn't he have any legs? Because he was a potato.

    Joke 24

    What did the asian say to the black guy? "Hello"

    Joke 25

    Two whales are sitting in a bar. One turns to the other and says "Oooouuuuuuueueeeeeouuuoooe oeiieiiooaoaaaoaoeiieuaoaoooeeie eeeuaiaaaauuuuoooaaiiiiaiaaaaooo iiiioo!" The other responds, "You must be really drunk."

    Joke 26

    What's the worst thing about two black guys getting hit by a car? They were my friends.

    Joke 27

    Guy 1: Last night I saved a girl from getting raped at the bar!
    Guy 2: Really! How?
    Guy 1: I changed my mind!

    Joke 28

    You have beautiful eyes -- THEY'D LOOK BETTER ON MY BEDROOM FLOOR.

    Joke 29

    Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest.

    Joke 30

    Two guys were walking down the street, when one of guy said to the other, "I'm hungry, let's eat." The other guy (he was bald) said, "OK."

    Joke 31

    Why do women drink Diet Coke and wear make-up? Because they're fat and ugly.

    Joke 32

    A black man, an Asian man, and a Jewish man walk into a bar. What a fine example of a diverse and integrated community.

    Joke 33

    Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Royal Mail, sign for this please.

    Joke 34

    What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

    Joke 35

    A man decides he's going to build a big brick barbecue grill for his backyard. He decides to go buy the materials, but his wife says, "You'll buy too much junk and we'll have leftover junk littering our back yard!" So he promises he'll use every piece.
    He buys the materials, builds the grill, and it's beautiful. But he winds up with one brick leftover. Afraid his wife will be angry, and not knowing what to do with it, he throws the brick into the air.
    (Original post by CB91)
    Why should you wear pants in Russia?

    Cos otherwise CherNOByl fall out. :awesome:

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    I know Chernobyl didnt happen in Russia fyi, it just makes the joke flow better.

    (Original post by Blame)
    A man walks into a petrol station and says, "Can I please have a KitKat Chunky?"

    The lady behind the till gets him a KitKat Chunky and brings it back to him.

    "No," says the man, "I wanted a normal KitKat, you fat *****."

    (Original post by Daniel-Ballingall)
    what's brown and sticky?

    Spoiler:
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    POO!:bigsmile:
    :rofl2: I approve.
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    (Original post by jklmn)
    Whats the difference between oral and anal?















    Oral might make your day, but anal makes your whole week.
    lmao, that's mine now :rofl:
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