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How has mental illness affected your life? Watch

    • #20
    #20

    I don't know if it's depression or not... but I go through phases where everything is a lot harder to do... like thinking of having a shower, then brushing my teeth... then making lunch felt like such a struggle and when I got round to performing these tasks, it required a bit more effort than usual.

    I also self pity, get jealous of people and their relationships (which is terrible!) and there are times when I just want to be alone and not socialise with anyone. I get days where I don't have much interest in doing anything... everything seems a tiny bit pointless to me.

    I recently started a new job and couldn't stop thinking about how well or badly I was doing. There were days where I didn't want to go into work and I didn't.. but other days, where I got up and made myself go.

    ... but other times, I love going out with my friends and having a good time. I just seem to manage to get on with life.

    So I don't know?
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    *Subscribes*
    I'll be doing psychology at university and plan to go into the specialise in clinical psychology, so this thread is of great interest to me.
    I also suffer from anxiety and paranoia, but if you were to meet me you'd never know.. mehh
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    (Original post by Converse)
    *Subscribes*
    I'll be doing psychology at university and plan to go into the specialise in clinical psychology, so this thread is of great interest to me.
    I also suffer from anxiety and paranoia, but if you were to meet me you'd never know.. mehh
    nice video. needed a distraction : )
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    I have a variation of trichotillomania (I relentlessly tear at my scalp, causing injury), what I think is (not too extreme) OCD and an eating disorder (EDNOS/anorexia nervosa). The last 2 are undiagnosed as I don't think my OCD is really all that bad and I don't want to tell anyone about my ED or seek help :/

    Holt sh!t that sounded bad. My Eating disorder make me nervous when I think of going out to eat meals with others, as for some reason I'm always either one of two extremes in that I go for the majority of the day with very little food (until dinner when I'm made to eat), or I binge completely and don't purge making me feel like crap

    I also now have conflicting feelings about food. On the one hand I love the taste of chocolate, sugary foods and good food in general, but I feel really nervous thinking about how it will affect my weight (though deep down I know I've always been skinny in comparison to the rest of the population no matter how much I eat). My mind is consumed by the thought of food, but the thought of consuming scares me. As I get thinner people just encourage me to model (I'm 5'11) which only makes me feel pressurised.

    My trichotillomania is a result of the pressure that myself and others place upon me (though mainly myself), and it means I'm scared to go to the hairdressers or let people see my upper forhead as I have repulsive wounds which I have inflicted on myself. Tearing at my head sometimes stops me from sleeping as I feel addicted to it and can't seem to stop even if it hurts.

    I sound like a fuc'ked up person, but really I'm not too bad. I have friends, family, a social life and many good times. I generally feel happy and consider myself lucky.
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    (Original post by Little_My)
    I can't be the only one whose been in an adolescent unit am I?

    I can only describe mental illness as a heavy weight just following you around everywhere and it never goes away fully unless you manage to sleep.
    Definitely not. I've been in 3 and altogether spent 2 years in one. People just assume that people who go there are absolutely bonkers and will kill lol
    The heavy weight stops you from being the person you really are xx
    • #12
    #12

    (Original post by londonboi88)
    yeah i had OCD for nearly 5 years and mine was more obsessive thoughts, intrunsive thinking etc.
    1st week envolved me writting what happens when i have those thoughts. Why i was anxious about it, rating the anxiety from 1 being (im bored) to 10 being full blown panic attack (im scared of death). I probably spent most of my time at around 6/7.
    I write what im anxious about it, how i feel. And some time later come and explain it logically when im calmer.
    Example you probably get the "what if..." thoughts, eg what if i start to hear voices 8, my life would be ruined, etc.. When i'm calmer on and offer a logical explaination, which in most of the time was because i had been reading a LOT about mental illness.

    Then moved on to changing the way i thought, i.e "what if.." consciously think it over but "worser" think yes it can actually happening to me, and so what if it happens.

    Its complicated to explain to but the basis of the whole thing it to think "so what..."
    Example of pure CBT: you're scared of dogs,
    See an police dog attack someone
    Play with an aggressive dog in its cage whilst you're outside wearing a protective suit.
    When you're comfortable, play in an enclosed space
    The dog gets out of the cage whilst you wearing the suit.
    Whe you're comfortable graudally remove your suit
    Play with the dog in an enclosed space
    All this someone talking to you explaining that they are some aggressive dogs, but they are very rare. Dogs will attack you if you behave in a certain manner. Also this dog that clearly knows how to attack is trained to attack criminals. Problem with OCD is we like to control everything, and behaving according to the "dog" does bode very well.

    Thats the best way i could explain it.. feel free to pm if you want.
    Thanks again for your post.
    How long did it take you to get CBT? I've been waiting for about a month now... Did you go to a doctor originally and they diagnosed you?
    I know what you mean about reading a lot on mental illnesses etc...because of my OCD and Anxiety, I have been thinking I've got schizophrenia etc and blowing things way out of proportion... so i've stopped googling stuff online as my mind will run away with me.

    How is the treatment going for you now?
    • #12
    #12

    (Original post by fire2burn)
    Well I had to leave uni in my final year, but I only have my dissertation to finish no exams so I'm just slowing going at it taking chunks out of it when I can Job wise it's not a worry, I have plenty of money (I like to hoard it rather than spend) and I live at home now where I see my local psychiatric services. Have a long term girlfriend, she's pretty understanding so when I get paranoid and don't speak to anyone for days at a time it's not a problem she's there for the days when I'm not feeling quite so bad

    Triggers... well there's not being on medication Pretty big and major trigger if I stop medication it all returns within weeks. But what started it all off I have no idea, some people are just susceptible I think.

    I don't mind the questions so don't worry
    Because of my OCD and Anxiety I have done a bit of research online for what might be causing me to feel this way. I found psychosis and schizophrenia and read about them, and was immediately convinced that I had some symptoms and that I was going to go crazy/mad. Then I read online and found that if you think you're going mad, chances are you aren't! and that's what keeps me sane..ish lol
    What are the differences between your symptoms and schizo? They sound quite similar?
    What happens when you go paranoid? Do the voices ever tell you to harm/kill people?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks again for your post.
    How long did it take you to get CBT? I've been waiting for about a month now... Did you go to a doctor originally and they diagnosed you?
    I know what you mean about reading a lot on mental illnesses etc...because of my OCD and Anxiety, I have been thinking I've got schizophrenia etc and blowing things way out of proportion... so i've stopped googling stuff online as my mind will run away with me.

    How is the treatment going for you now?
    First and foremost is stop reading anything about mental health because it only makes it worse.
    i went to the uni counsellor who said it was not uncommon, i work in a hosipital so i managed to speak to one of the psychitrists on an informal basis who then went on to recomend this therapist.
    I had the exact same thing as you. I couldnt wait for NHS cause it would've been too long, so i went private. It was £60 ph and took about 10 sessions. The therapists had been doing it for 15-20 years, and was accrediated by all the necessary bodies. but prior to that i had tried about 3 different therapists but just didnt "gel" with them.
    Started in mid May and by July I was finished, and havent felt the need to go back to my therapist.
    My suggestion is to see you G.P and see what s/he says, tell them about CBT & they may be able to do something for you, just that my GP is utter cr*p
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Does anybody self harm/know anyone who does? According to statistics it's very common but I've never even seen it come up on tsr or anything.
    Yep. Well. I'm currently in recovery... Nearly two months clean.
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    I lost my dad when I was young and my mum was an alcoholic for 6 years. Led to me craving a parental role and the development of OCD and bipolar. Things got to their worst a couple of years ago when i took things to the next level after self harm and tried to kill myself. I have trouble trusting friends and partners and then expect too much for them and it usually drives them away. My long term girlfriend broke up with me on xmas day saying she realised she never loved me so im pretty much picking myself up off the floor at the moment. Kinda doesnt help with the trust issues after she previously told me she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me.
    Suppose i have to admit im quite pleased with how much ive improved because ive not resorted to self harm like i used to
    • #21
    #21

    Bulimia and Anorexia destroyed me, I can't remember a time when my relationship with food hasn't been awful.
    It made me depressed, so much so I cut myself, alienated most of my friends, alienated my family and made my school effort just go bad (through my GCSEs I was suffering with Bulimia pretty bad and didn't achieve any A's, still got B's but it's sad that it ruined my potential).

    I hit my lowest weight at 114lbs, I'm 5'10 so it left me with a BMI of 15.2 where I was threatened to be hospitalised (I never ever have got help for my problems, so I have had lots of relapses). I'm still sick in the head now because some days I wish I was skin and bones again. I recently have actually relapsed into EDNOS (I'm 'normal' weight still, but I eat far less) also mixed with Bulima but I'm trying to fight it otherwise I will fail academically.
    I know it sounds all very sick and vain, but vainity is not why I do this. It's loss of control, the feeling of inferiority and the feeling that and ED is part of my personality, I guess in some ways it's nostalgia... which is strange for some people to grasp I should imagine.

    People told me that I'd grow out of my little 'vanity' phase... it's stuck with me though ever since I was 13... and now I'm almost 18.

    I am sure that my ED has brought out paranoia and anxiety in me... especially in social situations. I often get the feeling people are saying or thinking I'm fat, when people laugh I think it's about me. I have kinda made myself 'invisible' at school so people won't notice me and talk about my weight (if they would). I don't know, I sound mental :/
    • #12
    #12

    (Original post by londonboi88)
    First and foremost is stop reading anything about mental health because it only makes it worse.
    i went to the uni counsellor who said it was not uncommon, i work in a hosipital so i managed to speak to one of the psychitrists on an informal basis who then went on to recomend this therapist.
    I had the exact same thing as you. I couldnt wait for NHS cause it would've been too long, so i went private. It was £60 ph and took about 10 sessions. The therapists had been doing it for 15-20 years, and was accrediated by all the necessary bodies. but prior to that i had tried about 3 different therapists but just didnt "gel" with them.
    Started in mid May and by July I was finished, and havent felt the need to go back to my therapist.
    My suggestion is to see you G.P and see what s/he says, tell them about CBT & they may be able to do something for you, just that my GP is utter cr*p
    Wow only 10 sessions, that's awesome. Are you a med student then if you work at a hospital?
    I've been waiting a bit over month to hear from my GP and could probably be waiting for quite some time. What would you recommend me doing to get private therapy sessions? Bupa etc?
    Also, how severe was your OCD or was it a mild form to be treated in only 10 sessions?

    Thanks man
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    This thread has been so interesting! I've struggled with Anorexia and Anxiety for years; in late 2009 it all got too much for me and I seriously went downhill, with severe depression taking it's toll on just about everything in my life. Luckily the most unpleasant times are hopefully in the past but reading some of these posts I find it really helpful to see that other people my age know what it's like. There are so many similarities in symptoms and behaviours I'm actually shocked. But pleased! I found the hardest part was letting my parents into my head and trying to make them understand what was going on. I come from a stable and supportive family; my 'madness' doesn't seem to have any direct link to anything in my past! Is anyone else in this situation?
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    (Original post by Lizzie...)
    I come from a stable and supportive family; my 'madness' doesn't seem to have any direct link to anything in my past! Is anyone else in this situation?
    My parents are a bit clueless about mental health but they're doing their best to be very supportive. No one's quite sure why I'm like this either! Tiz a mystery! :eek:
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    mental illness has affected my family's life too. but im not gonna dwell on it and tell you how hard things have been. just that they got better.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Wow only 10 sessions, that's awesome. Are you a med student then if you work at a hospital?
    I've been waiting a bit over month to hear from my GP and could probably be waiting for quite some time. What would you recommend me doing to get private therapy sessions? Bupa etc?
    Also, how severe was your OCD or was it a mild form to be treated in only 10 sessions?

    Thanks man
    I'm one of the AnE clerks. Actually 10 sessions is fairly normal, then follow ups in the future when they is a relapse. CBT shouldn't be long especially for younger people.

    It wasn't mild but it wasnt severe either if that helps.
    Either way my life was a living hell in that time.
    Its obviously better to be in Bupa for those kinda things, however NHS is IMPROVING on mental health issues.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hmmm its hard sometimes but I try not to let my condition become who I am. Not many people know I suffer from depression ( mainly my mum and close friend at Uni). My friend was suprised because I seemed so happy and friendly all the time to people, she didnt believe me at first but when she saw me one morning after Id done a night of non-stop crying she knew.

    My depression has affected my relationships with some people when it gets more sever (especially when I start comparing myself to my friends and avoiding them) but most of the time things are fine but I find it really hard to trust people in general. Also I dont want to get into a relationship because of it and I find it hard eating out when I get panic attacks.
    Im finally getting help for it though and hopefully things will improve.

    Exactly how I felt Everyone thinks because I'm always happy, angelic and get the grades, there can't be anything wrong with me. Sometimes the depression got so bad I felt seriously suicidal (at one point I gathered all the pills I could find and laid them out. Thankfully I realised at the last minute that I'd be robbing myself a chance at happiness)

    I tried to tell my parents there is something wrong with me, and that perhaps I need to see a therapist, but they wouldn't listen. My relationships with other people were destroyed and I've never felt more alone - then that sent me deeper into depression. Those were the two worst years of my life.

    I got out of it by spending a lot more time with friends and kept telling myself that things can only become better, not worse. I also kept a diary, and that made me feel much, much better because it felt like all my negative thoughts were transferred from me to the diary. Now I couldn't be further from depression, have great friends and an amazing boyfriend who keeps reminding me I'm a brilliant, beautiful person, and shouldn't let anything to convince me otherwise.


    I guess sometimes, it wouldn't hurt for everyone to remind themselves from time to time that everything is going to be okay.
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    im finding it particularly difficult at the minute. Im starting to relay on my friends too much and they are getting sick of it. bipolar is getting worse and i just feel like there is nobody willing to listen to me
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    (Original post by Colour Me Pretty)
    Erm depression certainly has.I used to have it quite severely (breaking down in tears randomly,sleeping and sleeping plus other stuff) and tbh I don't think I've ever really ''recovered'' from it. I don't feel excitement much and if I do it doesn't last long, and I'm never ''truly'' happy, also little things can upset me for days and days. I think I'll always be pre-disposed to it, but I've learnt to manage it a lot better and identify things that are bringing me down. I used to not be able to focus on things and would sleep a hell of a lot, or stay awake for hours on end, but I now I just have a few days feeling down and then start pulling myself together.
    This time of the year always makes me remember when I had it.
    That sounds like me. Or the last 3 years of my life. Though I do try to pull myself together.
    I'm rarely truly happy, and if I am. It goes away quite quickly!
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    My best friend tried to commit suicide, and I wasn't there for her. We were only 15 and I didn't understand what was going on.
    Later, another best friend developed anorexia, and from that ocd. In my mind I had convinced myself she was just skinny, so it was such a shock to hear her say it. She had to leave school for a year and live in a clinic for treatment. It was pretty touch and go for a while. Luckily she has recovered and is now at uni. However I always worry about her, and just hope she continues to stay strong.
    Another friend had treatment for depression, and again I wasn't there for her, and didn't realise how low she felt.
    I self-harmed for 6 months and felt really low in my last year of school. Never told anyone about it, because I have everything going for me and it's pathetic that I shouldn't be happy. Had low self confidence, and hated my looks.
    Thankfully I stopped when I realised how much I have to be happy for, but I still get down sometimes.
 
 
 
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