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Asians, are you allowed to marry a girl/guy of your choice? Watch

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    (Original post by RoshniDiya)
    "Also, why the importance on cooking?"
    Cutlure - women expected to cook for their husbands. If you think that idea has died out, it certainly hasn't.
    That and also I notice most of them (traditional Asian men) don't like women with strong opinion.


    (Original post by RoshniDiya)
    Urgh, that's exactly what i'm told! "No one will want to marry you now" because i've had a boyfriend and performed a sexual act. I say, why would i want to be with some sexist ****er who rejects me just because i've had a boyfriend? But it makes no difference. Hahah i have never met up with a guy friend before cause i just don't want to bloody hassle of it all.

    Exactly. It's not like we have no solution to our problems, we could leave, reject all these cultural values and norms, we could wait until we're financially independent... but that would mean leaving our families completely, and i don't want to do that.
    Ditto! I told my mum the same thing! Why would I want to be with someone who judges me based on that solely?

    And yeah, we wouldnt want to completely abandon them. We could always rebel but somehow the mums usually have mastered the arts of guilt-tripping their kids.

    To answer the question, well, I'm allowed to marry anyone. But I think for the most part, parents would want to see their kids marry to someone from the same culture/race/religion.
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    yepp as long as they're Muslim it's fine
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    All I can say is I feel sorry for people who cant marry who they want REMEMBER ITS YOUR LIFE NOT YOUR PARENTS.
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    i am south asian and yes.
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    (Original post by catty khan)
    ooooo yep im sort of afghan, well speak thier language anyway and thats how it roles with us, has to be totally the same afghan not even a different cast :O x
    What Afghan 'cast' are you? I'm Afghan.
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    'Allowed'? Really?

    So you guys actually follow what your parents say and have your lives dictated by them?

    Wow.
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    Parents will let me marry whoever but obviously, they'd prefer for someone of the same race. I'd get disowned if it was a pakistani though....i'm personally not racist and believe in marrying whoever i fall in love with but yea..parents are important...and i doubt id really wanna go against them.
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    (Original post by Luceria)


    Ever seen "Bend it like Beckham?"
    Ahaha yeah, it's our reality... except her dad was super nice!

    (Original post by sixthformer)
    oh yeah?
    asian guys find you ' bad girl' asian women *****y, ugly, shallow, and morose.
    I'm guessing you flipped out because she said she's not attracted to Asian boys.

    (Original post by soldier-4-life)
    hi roshnidiya im just wondering what religion u are. judging by the temple thing ur not muslim most likely hindu or sikh or maybe even jain or buddhist lol
    Hi, yeah i'm Sikh
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    (Original post by effofex)
    So any one of these countries then?:

    ...

    Or are there other (ahem) conditions?
    Well that was pointless. The thread is mainly aimed at south-asians, so that is what I was talking about.
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    (Original post by voguita00)
    That and also I notice most of them (traditional Asian men) don't like women with strong opinion.
    So so true. They're not expected to answer back, just have to take whatever **** their husbands throw at them. I think this is why my feminist views arose haha.

    Ditto! I told my mum the same thing! Why would I want to be with someone who judges me based on that solely?

    And yeah, we wouldnt want to completely abandon them. We could always rebel but somehow the mums usually have mastered the arts of guilt-tripping their kids.
    Hahah. I would have left my family if it wasn't for my mum! I hate this culture, but i laaav her.
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    (Original post by Qaz25)
    If I find someone I like... then I can tell my parents... if I don't find anyone... they'll find someone for me... but it's still my choice... they can find loads of different girls.. but if I don't like any of them, then I can say no... then they'd accept my decision.

    But I can see myself eventually being 35 and single. Therefore, desperate to find someone, in which case, I'd say yes to the first person that comes along

    Oh she has to be Muslim and it seems like my mum doesn't want me to marry a non-Pakistani girl
    This. Completely. Though I'm hoping it doesn't get to 35 :redface:
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    (Original post by MasterJomi)
    'Allowed'? Really?

    So you guys actually follow what your parents say and have your lives dictated by them?

    Wow.
    your signature is totally inappropriate for these forums
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    If my family did not let me marry/fall in love with someone I wud ignore and leave them.

    But thankfully they do allow. Perhaps, though, my opinion above is due to the way my parents brought me up even though we are all asians. Hopefully we are, as a race, changing towards family members given the required freedom as my parents were married as a fixed marriage. Allbeit, their attitude probably changed as they both moved to the UK some 25 years ago with all the time for them to adjust
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    u people r so lucky. U all atleast talk about marriage in ur househols..... me on the other hand im not as lucky. no 1 in my family says anything about me and marriage. it feels like the calm before the storm lol. i hav sick thoughts about me turning 21 and being tricked into a so called holiday to pakistan but really being taken back to the village and somehow the village is all waiting for me and i get forced to marry my lazy eyed cousin lol does no1 else get worried about this type if stuff or do i just need a few valiums lol my uncle married a white women and my cuz married a pathan so im hoping i will have sum freedom aswell. btw i am kashmiri/mirpuri of gujjar caste ( this is not my way of checking for future wives lol)
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    (Original post by soldier-4-life)
    u people r so lucky. U all atleast talk about marriage in ur househols..... me on the other hand im not as lucky. no 1 in my family says anything about me and marriage. it feels like the calm before the storm lol. i hav sick thoughts about me turning 21 and being tricked into a so called holiday to pakistan but really being taken back to the village and somehow the village is all waiting for me and i get forced to marry my lazy eyed cousin lol does no1 else get worried about this type if stuff or do i just need a few valiums lol my uncle married a white women and my cuz married a pathan so im hoping i will have sum freedom aswell. btw i am kashmiri/mirpuri of gujjar caste ( this is not my way of checking for future wives lol)
    LOL, thankfully I don't have to worry about that. That's something I've never understood though, how some parents can expect a marriage like that to really work out and be happy?!

    Btw I'm not exactly laughing at you, just a funny sort of message
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    I'm not asian but my mum doesn't want me dating out the race/culture/religion.

    Why should we listen to our parents with backwards/old-fashioned mentality.

    It's the 21st century, you can't help who you call for.

    Arranged marriages sound like hell. You really wanna be with someone you don't love for the rest of your life?
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    (Original post by oHellno)
    LOL, thankfully I don't have to worry about that. That's something I've never understood though, how some parents can expect a marriage like that to really work out and be happy?!

    Btw I'm not exactly laughing at you, just a funny sort of message
    This type of marriage isnt common in our family but im always paranoid.Its almost like i have already been engaged thsts why theres never any discussion about it. i think my marriage will be a lurve marriage lol meet the perfect girl while at uni
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    (Original post by soldier-4-life)
    u people r so lucky. U all atleast talk about marriage in ur househols..... me on the other hand im not as lucky. no 1 in my family says anything about me and marriage. it feels like the calm before the storm lol. i hav sick thoughts about me turning 21 and being tricked into a so called holiday to pakistan but really being taken back to the village and somehow the village is all waiting for me and i get forced to marry my lazy eyed cousin lol does no1 else get worried about this type if stuff or do i just need a few valiums lol my uncle married a white women and my cuz married a pathan so im hoping i will have sum freedom aswell. btw i am kashmiri/mirpuri of gujjar caste ( this is not my way of checking for future wives lol)
    Just don't go! Make an excuse, I am quite lucky my sisters doing her gcse and my brothers in his final year at a-level, and my other brother just started his a-level! so we can't go for like the next 3 years whoooo! My parents are dead against getting us married back in Pakistan! Thank God they have that much sense!

    Just be like oh I have resits for uni or whatever and you cannot go! And your a guy no?? I didn't think this stuff happened to guys its usually girls!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Just don't go! Make an excuse, I am quite lucky my sisters doing her gcse and my brothers in his final year at a-level, and my other brother just started his a-level! so we can't go for like the next 3 years whoooo! My parents are dead against getting us married back in Pakistan! Thank God they have that much sense!

    Just be like oh I have resits for uni or whatever and you cannot go! And your a guy no?? I didn't think this stuff happened to guys its usually girls!
    well tbh its only happening in my head lol maybe its the lack of sleep. my last 3 british cousins married british (pakistanis) in pakistan becos we hav more family in pakistan
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    (Original post by AP1989)
    But how can you marry an Afghan who is 'totally the same' if you're only 'sort of afghan'?
    hey i ment, thats the same as what i am, im from the borders of pakistan and afghanistan, well my ancestors are so instead of explainin cuz it will take me years, i say afghan for short
 
 
 
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