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my gf said I should take her name if we get married Watch

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    look i dont know how long you have been with this girl or how serious you are about her ......... BUT ............ if she is talking like this and your just bf/gf going to school or college i honestly think you shouldnt make any plans to marry this girl cause why would anyone wana get married so young like ? both of ye have years yet to do fun stuff go see the world get experience :sexface: have different relatnionships ... why would you wana settle down with her ? aussuming that your a young lad like ..

    and im not saying you have to take her surname or she has to take yours but talking about it the way she did just seems really odd, just kinda starting ringing warning bells in my ears .... but maybe im a commitment phobe
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    (Original post by Drumzilla)
    it's not the name itself but what it represents

    for me specifically, i have quite strong family ties, in fact i am currently wearing a signet ring that gets given to every male in my family when they turn 18, and there is no way I'm breaking that tradition for any woman.

    but even if that weren't true and i had your bog standard surname, smith or something. the desire to keep the name is still part of who i am, and if she can't accept that, then she can't accept me. I'm not saying i'd break up with her, but if we were going to get married we'd have to take my name.

    perhaps it is a little irrational, and it is only a name, but it's important to me and evidently to many other men.
    can you tell me more about the signet rings ? i never heard about them before im curious ! and what does it mean for your family and the way you said about not breaking tradition ? thanks
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    marriage is archaic..not worth the trouble

    but if you are silly enough to do the tango down the aisle...

    get a more subservient/compliant/malleable/flexible woman

    today name, tomorrow what???

    ghastly this new age feministazis :eek:
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    (Original post by Rescue Remedy)
    can you tell me more about the signet rings ? i never heard about them before im curious ! and what does it mean for your family and the way you said about not breaking tradition ? thanks
    its a ring with a family insignia on it, varies per family, mine is a mailed glove holding an arrow, which normally sits on top of our family crest.

    traditionally they were used to seal wax letters and imprint the design on the wax so you knew who the letter was from. obviously not much use for them that way now though lol

    i guess its just something that binds us as a family,i have one, my brother will have one, my dad has one and so do all his brothers, and my grandad has one, and so on and so on. It would just be a shame to let it die out, i think you should be proud of your family and where you've come from.

    hope that answered some of your questions
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    (Original post by Drumzilla)
    its a ring with a family insignia on it, varies per family, mine is a mailed glove holding an arrow, which normally sits on top of our family crest.

    traditionally they were used to seal wax letters and imprint the design on the wax so you knew who the letter was from. obviously not much use for them that way now though lol

    i guess its just something that binds us as a family,i have one, my brother will have one, my dad has one and so do all his brothers, and my grandad has one, and so on and so on. It would just be a shame to let it die out, i think you should be proud of your family and where you've come from.

    hope that answered some of your questions
    oh i know them lol from watching like movies and stuff i like your families tradition alot i think its really cool lets you know you belong .... but being a girl i couldnt wear one ha... sex change here i come lol jkjk
    do the women in your family have a similar tradition ? im full of questions

    thanks i want one now ha ... guess i will have to stick wearing my mam's ring though
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    (Original post by DOA)
    I was speaking about my double surname thread with her and she said she wanted her name to carry on. She said her surname in her branch of the family was going to die out because she only has sisters so she suggested maybe I should take her name. I dont want to take her name because im the only male in my family so my family name would be in as much trouble as hers is now if I dont pass it on. Im thinking of suggesting that the reason the mans name was passed on was because men were the head of the house in those days so im suggesting that who ever earns the least money at that point should take the others last name. I would also say that if we both agree to the least money system then the person on the bad end of that cant argue with it at the time.

    I am right not to agree to do this because my name would be as bad as hers if I did it?
    What do you think of the person who earns the least changes idea?
    Fair enough. Though i don't see why you can't both keep your own names and your kid can double-barrel? or you combine names and double-barrel?
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    She's actually testing to see whether her chosen mate is capable of providing for her and her future family, or if he is a little ***** who will give up his last name without a fight - just like he'd probably give up going for a promotion, or give up fighting the alpha males for his fair share. It's an evolutionary thing. By even taking this time to mull over the possibility, you're failing.
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    (Original post by Luceria)
    I don't think so. Why are some so overly aggressive about this? Assuming anyone would change their name is silly. But if they want to, I don't see the problem.
    Because a man taking a woman's name defeats the object of portions of the wedding ceremony. The father of the bride gives his daughter away to the groom, acknowledging the fact that she will become part of the groom's family.

    If the groom were to take the bride's name utter chaos would ensue!
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    you should tell us your respective surnames, then we can vote on which sounds better :P

    you can always just make up a new surname for your kid that would fit the first given name well, or just give both and then let the kid decide. sorry I know you wrote you hate the double surname and I haven't read other threads to find out why exactly, but if they fit well, why not? the kid may later decide which to keep or he/she may change it altogether.

    one idea (somebody might have mentioned it here before, sorry didn't read everything); again keep your own surnames but give one surname as the first name and the other as the surname to the kid? like what miranda from sex and the city did with that brady kid. I think that's quite cool and a nice compromise.
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    What are the surnames. I mean, if its a really rare one. Keep it, but if its something like Smith, humm...does it matter. I use to think my surname, McConville. Was unique and rare then I learnt half of the village of where my family was from all had the same surname. So....yea, i don't care about my surname now.
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    I personally hate my surname and can't wait to be rid of it I'd take on his surname now if it weren't for the fact that it would be really weird :erm:
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    just a thought on the idea of the highest earning surname winning. I think that can seriously backfire and wouldn't opt for that. what if one year you're making the most so the first kid gets named after you, but in the following few years your potential wife beats you so those kids are named after her? might be confusing once they start asking how come some have yours and some their mom's name. "well son, you were born in the year of dad and your little brother in the year of mom". just seems like too much of a competition. :/
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    Eurgh. Some of the responses in this thread are disgusting.

    And before you say it's a joke, it might be an idea to think of something funny (i'm all for un-PC jokes, but much like QI you lose points for being obvious).

    Double barrel your and her surname. If yours is already double then pick one of yours and double barrel it with hers - that will show a good bond and compromise. If not, you can both keep your names.
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    why don't you just keep your own names? lol.
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    Why the **** do you waste your time arguing over stupid petty **** like a family name when you could be doing oral?

    I don't want to be depressing but human civilisation will die out, life on earth will fade away, our sun will die but before it does it will swell and swallow this little planet. Then at some point maybe before or after our galaxy will collide with Andromeda and every trace of anything any of us have ever done will most likely be lost forever.

    Nobody least of all you should give a **** what name people will not remember you by.
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    (Original post by Rooster523)
    Because a man taking a woman's name defeats the object of portions of the wedding ceremony. The father of the bride gives his daughter away to the groom, acknowledging the fact that she will become part of the groom's family.

    If the groom were to take the bride's name utter chaos would ensue!
    This is why it's severely outdated, and it really doesn't matter.
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    You know you could just both keep your own names. Marriage doesn't force anybody to change their name, or at least you don't have to if you don't want to.
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      (Original post by fire2burn)
      Who has the coolest sounding sir name? Whichever one it is, pick that one.

      Problem solved.

      You could even let tsr decide!?
      This. Obviously you take the cooler sounding surname. Or you could do what some people suggest and merge them, although it would get a bit long after a few generations.
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      Put her back in her place or get a double barrelled surname.
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      (Original post by wtfCharlie)
      Fair enough. Though i don't see why you can't both keep your own names and your kid can double-barrel? or you combine names and double-barrel?
      We hte doubles, the kids need to have one name so one of us needs to change our name to fit in
     
     
     
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