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Everyone hates ugly people - worse than racism/sexism/homophobia etc

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Original post by medicine gapper
i'm a lil busy so just to adress scientific fact.

it's human nature to want to be sexually attracted to your partner.

being sexually attracted IS a scientific fact - look at the animal kingdom.

we humans are a breed apart though. we can choose personality over looks. there are so many factors. we can even mate with cows. we almost have complete free-will - not total.

but looks are USUALLY a neccesary condition.


Being sexually attracted does not mean they must be physically attractive in the general sense. You are trying to say that one must be attractive first which is not scientifically shown at all. Psychology shows that after finding a person's personality attractive people find them physically and sexually more attractive. So while you keep saying that what you say is rooted in science its not. So really your looks are not 'usually' or ever really a necessary condition, but rather being seen as attractive is. And that is not necessarily based on your looks.

And furthermore actually one need not be sexually attracted to your long term partner. I actually know a lesbian who has been in a committed relationship with a man and is married to him now. She may be homosexual but she is romantically attracted to men. So really none of what you say is based on science.
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by RandZul'Zorander
Being sexually attracted does not mean they must be physically attractive in the general sense. You are trying to say that one must be attractive first which is not scientifically shown at all. Psychology shows that after finding a person's personality attractive people find them physically and sexually more attractive. So while you keep saying that what you say is rooted in science its not. And furthermore actually one need not be sexually attracted to your long term partner. I actually know a lesbian who has been in a committed relationship with a man and is married to him now. She may be homosexual but she is romantically attracted to men. So really none of what you say is based on science.


attractiveness is subjective.

you USUALLY must be attractive to your potential partner.

it's innate,and human nature.

i.e we prefer symmetrical faces(scientific study conducted on this)

to the lesbian - are you sure she's a woman? what if she thinks she's a man?

Does that make the man gay?

jw.
Original post by medicine gapper
attractiveness is subjective.


Now your starting to contradict yourself. If I recall you said earlier in the thread that only to a degree is it subjective. Now you are saying it is completely? Either way, you saying that one must 'be attractive' is necessary is not scientifically true at all.

you USUALLY must be attractive to your potential partner.


This is a true statement. However lets note that attractiveness need not be based on physical appearance.

it's innate,and human nature.


it can't be innate and human nature if it is only 'usually' true. Something being innate means you cannot be born without it. So...if people can not be attractive to their partner physically then it is not innate or human nature...

i.e we prefer symmetrical faces(scientific study conducted on this)


This is true yes.

to the lesbian - are you sure she's a woman? what if she thinks she's a man?

Does that make the man gay?

jw.


yes. She is a woman. She does not identify as a man.

If though a female identified as a man. It depends on who you talk to. Some people say your sexual orientation refers to the gender you are attracted to, and others say it is only the sex of your partner. I would say it has to do with the sex and not gender. So if they were female but identified as a man, I would say they were still heterosexual.
Original post by RandZul'Zorander
Oh they may. But having muscles does not cause women to have such a reaction. As I said, there may be women who don't like it, but to say that women say that when a man works out is just wrong. :smile:


It causes SOME women to have such a reaction-how does that lead to the statement being incorrect?

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Original post by Sheldor
It causes SOME women to have such a reaction-how does that lead to the statement being incorrect?

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If some women may have such a reaction, you say some women will react that way. Medicine gapper implied that whenever any man works out, that would be the reaction from all women. Its inaccurate.
Reply 125
Meh...

All society cares about really is whether or not you do a good job. And there are some people with natural advantages but the worst way to attempt to be happy is to compare yourself to other people. You just deal with what nature gave you and find happiness in what you know. Being happy means being present-minded and not obsessed with "what if?".

I used to care far too much about what I look like. And now I genuinely don't care any further than being healthy and making myself feel good. It is pointless. Our body is just a shell for who we are inside. Good people can see that. It is far better for people to focus their energies on being a loving and giving person. I'm not counting the ugly people in the world. The world needs more good guys.

It doesn't even matter if the majority of people/opposite sex are shallow. If we're all looking for one life partner, then it only takes one. So who cares what the majority thinks? I don't care if one or many guys fins me ugly. But I do care that whoever would love me would find me attractive too and I know that statistically there will be someone out there who thinks that, and that I can feel that way about them too. You have to have that faith to find love. You have to know that it's out there.

And I try to count my blessings. I'm here. I'm alive and I'm breathing oxygen and I have a roof over my head, access to books, the outdoors and people I love. I live in a wealthy country even though I don't feel wealthy. I may be a nobody who doesn't leave even footnote in the history books but I aim to be important to the people I love and that's what matters to me.

Learn to accept the calm satisfaction of daily drudgery haha. Thrive on the beautiful ordinary.
Reply 126
Original post by RandZul'Zorander
If some women may have such a reaction, you say some women will react that way. Medicine gapper implied that whenever any man works out, that would be the reaction from all women. Its inaccurate.


I just find medicine gapper so negative. I mean say what he says is true. Say every woman is really shallow and goes for looks. Does that really matter anyway? I mean in saying that he's actually giving looks more importance than anyone else does. If looks really didn't matter to him, he wouldn't harp on about this.

But nor am I trying to say that both sexes don't value looks in some way. I definitely think some women claim that men are more shallow than they actually are. I've met plenty of men who've told me that they don't conform to type, and that they find a woman attractive the more they love her personality. Of course looks have some influence, but really not as much as people think. A lot of what makes a person attractive to the opposite sex is actually within their control.

Sometimes you won't float someone's boat but that's pretty cool as far as I'm concerned. I don't see it as some great rejection of my looks if one guy isn't into me. When I reject guys it's because I don't fancy them but that's more often nothing to do with what they actually look like. I can't quite account for why I find some men more sexually attractive than others (and it's not always the best looking I find the most attractive). But I have to contest any argument that "all women are shallow". I know I'm not.
Original post by RandZul'Zorander
If some women may have such a reaction, you say some women will react that way. Medicine gapper implied that whenever any man works out, that would be the reaction from all women. Its inaccurate.


It was my impression that he did mean some women, but looking back I guess not.

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1) No such thing as 'ugly people', what a naive idea. (It's media I tell you!)

2) correction: 'Everyone hates fat people'
(I'm not fat, at least not beyond tubby, but i find this to be too true.)
Original post by Lucia.
I just find medicine gapper so negative. I mean say what he says is true. Say every woman is really shallow and goes for looks. Does that really matter anyway? I mean in saying that he's actually giving looks more importance than anyone else does. If looks really didn't matter to him, he wouldn't harp on about this.

But nor am I trying to say that both sexes don't value looks in some way. I definitely think some women claim that men are more shallow than they actually are. I've met plenty of men who've told me that they don't conform to type, and that they find a woman attractive the more they love her personality. Of course looks have some influence, but really not as much as people think. A lot of what makes a person attractive to the opposite sex is actually within their control.

Sometimes you won't float someone's boat but that's pretty cool as far as I'm concerned. I don't see it as some great rejection of my looks if one guy isn't into me. When I reject guys it's because I don't fancy them but that's more often nothing to do with what they actually look like. I can't quite account for why I find some men more sexually attractive than others (and it's not always the best looking I find the most attractive). But I have to contest any argument that "all women are shallow". I know I'm not.


I take issue with him saying that looks are a necessary for any kind of relationship. or rather one must be aesthetically attractive. And this is just blatantly not the case. For some people yes looking good is important. But in almost all cases, personality plays a stronger factor on someone's overall 'attractiveness'. Psychologically if you like a person's personality you will rate them as more attractive than if you don't. My biggest issue is when he tries to claim that his opinion is backed by science or is 'scientific fact' when it blatantly is not. :rolleyes:
Reply 130
Original post by Sheldor
yes you will be friendless and single. Being funny, approachable and kind will leave you popular and dating. Your defeatist attitude is whats holding you back.



No you aren't. Many girls find short men attractive. (eg, Josh Hutcherson).

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I maybe friendless but I wouldn't be single because there is arrange marriage.
He have a nice face and he must be a millionaire. I mean money is more important for a girl than even look.
Original post by Luffy.
I maybe friendless but I wouldn't be single because there is arrange marriage.
He have a nice face and he must be a millionaire. I mean money is more important for a girl than even look.


Don't you think that changing your attitude would help? Assuming it is an arranged and not forced marriage, the girl could easily reject your family's offer once she meets you and your defeatism.

No, it really isn't. Trust me-I know hundreds of girls and none of them care about money beyond a partner being self-suffecient and not reliant on them for money. Nearly all of them (the exception being those not interested in relationships, only casual stuff) would rate personality above looks.(Seen many rich, "hot" guys being rejected because they don't have the right personality.)

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Reply 132
Original post by Sheldor
Don't you think that changing your attitude would help? Assuming it is an arranged and not forced marriage, the girl could easily reject your family's offer once she meets you and your defeatism.

No, it really isn't. Trust me-I know hundreds of girls and none of them care about money beyond a partner being self-suffecient and not reliant on them for money. Nearly all of them (the exception being those not interested in relationships, only casual stuff) would rate personality above looks.(Seen many rich, "hot" guys being rejected because they don't have the right personality.)

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I have a good attitude and a personality so why should I change it. I mean I am just super ugly, my personality and attitude is good.
In arrange marriages it is based on personality, not the looks so the girl will not reject my family's offer.
Do you really believe what you wrote in that paragraph that I have bolded.
Reply 133
Original post by pencilcasetapper
You can be gay and still be accepted.
You can be female and still be accepted.
You can be an ethnic minority and still be accepted.
You can be short and still be accepted.
You can be religious and still be accepted.
You can be dark-haired and still be accepted.

You can ugly...

Oh wait a minute. No you can't.

Being ugly is, according to society, the worst trait there is. No, nothing can ever redeem ugliness. Even the oppressed oppress ugly people.

If you are ugly, you are destined to be discriminated and have a disappointing life.

Why? Because even people of different races, different hair colours, religious or not religious, different heights, and not heterosexual can still be in relationships.

Ugly people? No they cannot.

(Ugly people being with ugly people does not count. Ugly people secretly wish they could be with a better partner, but they can't as they're ugly).


So I take it you're not best looking girl...
Reply 134
I don't care about money. I genuinely don't. I'd rather be poor and well-loved than rich and lonely. Some guys complain about women being gold-diggers but they are often the ones who try and get women using their money. You can't blame women for taking what they're selling. Seriously Luffy, your points aren't based on experience just assumptions so can you be so certain that you're correct.
Original post by Lucia.
I don't care about money. I genuinely don't. I'd rather be poor and well-loved than rich and lonely. Some guys complain about women being gold-diggers but they are often the ones who try and get women using their money. You can't blame women for taking what they're selling. Seriously Luffy, your points aren't based on experience just assumptions so can you be so certain that you're correct.


Lol I'd rather be rich and "lonely". Loneliness is a non-issue if I am rich.
Reply 136
Original post by platorepublic
Lol I'd rather be rich and "lonely". Loneliness is a non-issue if I am rich.


Yeah but rich people sometimes have difficulty determining which people are their real friends, and who only hangs around them because they're rich. I've heard lottery winners talk about the confusion which results from suddenly having lots of money.
Original post by Lucia.
Yeah but rich people sometimes have difficulty determining which people are their real friends, and who only hangs around them because they're rich. I've heard lottery winners talk about the confusion which results from suddenly having lots of money.


Well don't care, I'd still rather be rich.
Original post by Luffy.
I have a good attitude and a personality so why should I change it. I mean I am just super ugly, my personality and attitude is good.
In arrange marriages it is based on personality, not the looks so the girl will not reject my family's offer.
Do you really believe what you wrote in that paragraph that I have bolded.


Yes looks are irrelevant, but that wasn't my point. Personality is relevant-and so far you come off incredibly defeatist. You're satisfied with your personality,fine-just don't complain about looks being the problem when in reality, it's your personality and attitude holding you back. Those two attributes are key to whether a girl will show any interest, and you seem to be doing your possible relationships a lot of damage with the way things are looking. Few people want to spend their lives with someone who has such an atitude.
Also, yes I believe it-because it's true. Exactly how many sleepovers, campfires, girly gossip sessions and truth or dare games have you taken part in with groups consisting of majority/all girls where relationships or 'dream men' have come up?

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Reply 139
Original post by Sheldor
Yes looks are irrelevant, but that wasn't my point. Personality is relevant-and so far you come off incredibly defeatist. You're satisfied with your personality,fine-just don't complain about looks being the problem when in reality, it's your personality and attitude holding you back. Those two attributes are key to whether a girl will show any interest, and you seem to be doing your possible relationships a lot of damage with the way things are looking. Few people want to spend their lives with someone who has such an atitude.
Also, yes I believe it-because it's true. Exactly how many sleepovers, campfires, girly gossip sessions and truth or dare games have you taken part in with groups consisting of majority/all girls where relationships or 'dream men' have come up?

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I am not defeatist. I got UUU in A level but still I am studying it and hoping to get a pass this time. I haven't spoke to a girl yet but I have found a way to not only talk to a girl but to get laid too and that is to study, get a good job and get an arrange marriage and talk to my wife and get laid with her. I mean does that sound defeatist to you. I mean if I am laying on my bed and doing nothing than it is defeatist.

And how do the girls know my personality and attitude before they even spoke to me. I mean how do they know to look away from me as quickly as possible after they seen me first time. I mean is my personality and attitude written all over my face and body or am I super ugly.
I mean how do the girls know the personality and attitude of tall handsome guys, the moment they see them so they can go and start talking to the guy.

I mean if you really believe what you are saying than read the bold paragraph of mine few times and if you dont know what super ugly guy means than imagine the ugliest animal for you and super ugly guy is 10 times uglier than that. I mean super ugly people like me are very few. We are less than 0.000001% of men population of the world.
(edited 11 years ago)

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