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Did I scare him by telling him I was in love with him? Watch

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    He hasn't said anything back since that message so maybe he's just not caring about doing anything or even saying anything back.
    Seriously, let it go.

    What baffles me is after being together a month he's on an online dating site and this isn't making you absolutely furious?

    Stop obsessing over him, and this, he's obviously an absolute knob.

    Plus, even if he DID love you, if you're contacting him as often as you're updating this thread you're almost definitely coming on way too strong and petrifying him. If someone told me after a month that they were in love with me, I think I'd be reconsidering the relationship too.


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    (Original post by SNichol)
    Seriously, let it go.

    What baffles me is after being together a month he's on an online dating site and this isn't making you absolutely furious?

    Stop obsessing over him, and this, he's obviously an absolute knob.

    Plus, even if he DID love you, if you're contacting him as often as you're updating this thread you're almost definitely coming on way too strong and petrifying him. If someone told me after a month that they were in love with me, I think I'd be reconsidering the relationship too.


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    He said it first then I said it by mistake to him after a month without thinking and I'm not yeah I'll leave it for a while.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    He said it first then I said it by mistake to him after a month without thinking and I'm not yeah I'll leave it for a while.
    If you're mistakenly telling him you love him, you probably don't. It's not something that should be said without certainty.

    Regardless, he doesn't sound very good for you even if this does work out. If I were you I'd just cut my losses and not try to contact him anymore.


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    No offence but you seem very obsessed however the way you two communicate is odd...if ur official bf n gf why the game playing?

    You should be communicating regularly via text, phonecall, facetime, hanging out etc...not fearing you are not going to get a reply after every text you send.

    Also it seems like you will not txt him unless he replies to your original message even if it has been hours! sometimes its nice to know someone cares and will mesage you still to see regardless of who text last.

    Finally one month is quite early to be declaring love, although you may be invisaging potential futures etc does not been you are actually in love yet. My partner and i didnt declare deep love till nearing a year..so don't rush it, love will come x


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    He text me first most of the time . I just have a bit of anxiety really . He did treat me good and that he was a good guy but our conversation over the last week has died a bit. I guess it just hurts more that he's saying nothing back I don't know if he's confused it avoiding it he's taking a bit of a cop out now. I don't know would this have happened if I hadn't said the Love thing

    He replied saying this "Like I honestly don't know whats going on in my head. I really don't. I hurt when you said "I thought you were a good guy" I am. I've always treated you right. I just don't know what I want in life right now. I hate my job and most of my life to be honest. I'm not the right guy for you you deserve way better"
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    He text me first most of the time . I just have a bit of anxiety really . He did treat me good and that he was a good guy but our conversation over the last week has died a bit. I guess it just hurts more that he's saying nothing back I don't know if he's confused it avoiding it he's taking a bit of a cop out now. I don't know would this have happened if I hadn't said the Love thing

    He replied saying this "Like I honestly don't know whats going on in my head. I really don't. I hurt when you said "I thought you were a good guy" I am. I've always treated you right. I just don't know what I want in life right now. I hate my job and most of my life to be honest. I'm not the right guy for you you deserve way better"
    Well, that sounds pretty genuine, to be fair. Has he responded at all to your suggestion of meeting up to talk things over?

    Now might be a good time to gently make the suggestion again. Something like "I'm sorry you're having a hard time and I really appreciate your honesty. How about we meet up for a coffee and a heart-to-heart and try and work something out?"
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    (Original post by Musie Suzie)
    Well, that sounds pretty genuine, to be fair. Has he responded at all to your suggestion of meeting up to talk things over?

    Now might be a good time to gently make the suggestion again. Something like "I'm sorry you're having a hard time and I really appreciate your honesty. How about we meet up for a coffee and a heart-to-heart and try and work something out?"
    I said this earlier to him

    “I didn't mean to hurt you when I said that like I know you're a good guy. Why do you think you're not the right guy? And we both never felt a connection like we did. I mean these things happen in relationships you get confused sometimes it might just need a talk. Can we meet and talk later? I know you maybe confused I really think it could help.Lets meet this afternoon/evening before we make any sort of decisions. I'd just like us to discuss things . I know you were happy with me too like I've always trusted you never doubted you for a second you just need to trust yourself like I trust you. Just one meet to discuss and chat about it thats all and see whatever happens. I'd hate for us to end things right now without even one last chat Would you at least do that for me at least just meet later to talk”

    This was around 7am he did see it didn't reply probably sleeping he works nights hope he replies when he's wakes up maybe wanted to sleep on it. Was that message okay too?
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    (Original post by Musie Suzie)
    Well, that sounds pretty genuine, to be fair. Has he responded at all to your suggestion of meeting up to talk things over?

    Now might be a good time to gently make the suggestion again. Something like "I'm sorry you're having a hard time and I really appreciate your honesty. How about we meet up for a coffee and a heart-to-heart and try and work something out?"
    I had to send this message before he replied though
    “I didn't mean to scare you with what I said the other day I got the words mixed up. I guess when I sent it I was afraid of losing you. If I could go back and change it and not send it I would. I like us and our chemistry it's just so strong thats whats scary. We did rush into a relationship. You made me the happiest girl you always made me smile. I loved the way I made you smile. I know you weren't messing me you're just confused which is normal. I've always trusted you I wouldn't change those weeks with you for the world. We both never expected a relationship from our meeting it was so unexpected. What dud you mean by the you're afraid of hurting me and yourself. I just want to know whats on your mind and what should we do from here? It hurts more when you say nothing at all.I'd like if we stayed together try slower or something. I trust you you're an honest guy. I just what to know what you think whatevers on your mind even if it's not what I want to hear or if you want a few days to think before saying anything just say.. I remember you saying how you want to treat me right and how you hope to always make me smile. I just had to get that off my chest . I could be crazy saying all this but I just had to tell you whats on my mind. I can't believe I'm up texting you at like 7am ha.”
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    (Original post by Musie Suzie)
    Well, that sounds pretty genuine, to be fair. Has he responded at all to your suggestion of meeting up to talk things over?

    Now might be a good time to gently make the suggestion again. Something like "I'm sorry you're having a hard time and I really appreciate your honesty. How about we meet up for a coffee and a heart-to-heart and try and work something out?"
    I had to send another message to get him to reply though like I said this first before he replied
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    He's bloody terrified.
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    sorry for the repost was a mistake ha.
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    probably not if he said it first
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    Yeah I don't know if he wants to meet he isn't saying anything else back.
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    He's definitely not replying so tempted to send a message telling him how much he hurt me but trying to refrain from doing that incase he is just thinking at least for today might send one tomorrow.
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    (Original post by JamesLFC)
    He's bloody terrified.
    This.


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    I'm gonna stop texting maybe in a month just send a text seeing how he is and leave it as that. Rather than keep texting him I maybe be making things worse.
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    Yeah, definitely best to give it a rest now - sounds like you've said everything you wanted to and you need to give him time to think about things and get back you.

    You don't want to come across like this, haha: http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=63d_1330269502
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    (Original post by Musie Suzie)
    Yeah, definitely best to give it a rest now - sounds like you've said everything you wanted to and you need to give him time to think about things and get back you.

    You don't want to come across like this, haha: http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=63d_1330269502
    Yeah I'm going to give it 2 weeks next Friday or Saturday and call him one last time then after that leave it as that . See if he'll even listen to me what I have to say and if he hangs up he's not worth it then. I still think he's avoiding me because he does like me he knows if he sees or hears me he'll probably want me still and probably does but he's just ignoring it. I mean he just changed his attitude pretty quickly from I really miss you, you mean the world to me, I want us to me happy together, I hope I always make you smile to I'm not the right guy for you and also said I didn't want a relationship until I met you. He's on the relationship section on the site now before it was the dating section unless he's avoiding e in his searches. It just doesn't add up what he's saying his actions are clearer then his words.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah I'm going to give it 2 weeks next Friday or Saturday and call him one last time then after that leave it as that . See if he'll even listen to me what I have to say and if he hangs up he's not worth it then. I still think he's avoiding me because he does like me he knows if he sees or hears me he'll probably want me still and probably does but he's just ignoring it. I mean he just changed his attitude pretty quickly from I really miss you, you mean the world to me, I want us to me happy together, I hope I always make you smile to I'm not the right guy for you and also said I didn't want a relationship until I met you. He's on the relationship section on the site now before it was the dating section unless he's avoiding e in his searches. It just doesn't add up what he's saying his actions are clearer then his words.
    sorry but if he is actively using the dating website, it doesn't look good for your future. maybe he changed his mind, not because of your message but just overall... it happens. especially when things start off quite strong... they generally just fizzle out. saying "i love you" after 2 weeks is extremely quick and if i'm honest, probably not genuine. i think you should just leave it.
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    Im in a hurry so only read the first page so sorry but:

    I think your over thinking things

    hes probably busy and doesn't want to talk like that, dont phone him or send him tonnes of text then you will look crazy... just relax and wait a day then ask to meet up and talk

    p.s. to all the idiots saying kids, me and my partner said 'I love you' in the first month, we have been together 6 years and have kids :rolleyes: as did everyone I know in a long term relationship (talking 2 years+ and either married or with kids) running around in silly little relationship with no emotion is for kids - commitment is for adults
 
 
 
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