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i don't understand the logic of.self acceptance watch

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    (Original post by Riku)
    I mean I can thoroughly understand her being turned off by the obsessive threads but as far as I coild I tried to just have a laugh with het or gove her a shoulder to cry on, and she just dropped it out of the bkje. First the breakup, then the friendship charade

    I'm giving her space for exams, inviting her to my graduation party to show no hard feelings, and if she doesn't take me up on the offer I'm parting ways until she gets in touch which may be never. Which I'd really rather not do since she was such a good friend and basically brought me back from depression. It hurts the most because she lives 10 minutes away.
    Why did she just leave you? No explanation? Or was there something to it.. It's really sweet that you're not giving up on her, you guys must've really had something.
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    (Original post by Riku)
    I said this to anotner guy and he just lol'd saying I was living in an idealistic fairyland, not the age of capitalism and the selfie

    but it isn't perfect, so how can it be ok? It's all well and good loving yourself for who you are but for the general population there are objective criteria determining levels of attraction and the winner will always be the candidate resembling perfection the closest
    eh?

    I approved of capitalism but what? lol..

    I don't get which society you live in, but in my society (which incidentally is probably the same as yours, i.e. the UK) I think most accept others have flaws. And the definition of a flaw is completely subjective.

    My brother for instance is smart but doesn't have much street sense. He may think I'm smart but to him I may more superficial or not as deep with others. And? We are who we are. Why must I change who I am because it's not humanly possible to be perfect? Or others are too dim, retarded and abnormal to maneouvre around others?

    And **** "society". We're humans and are social animals, but then we can't always do what "society" deems right. "Society" in the UK once said slavery was OK, and that if you spoke badly of the King you'd be hung, drawn and quartered. A "society" can say or endorse anything, it doesn't mean anything in the end. I value career advancement, but then your definitions are bull.
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    Another thing, flaws cannot necessarily be fixed. if a person is absent-minded, we can't change somebody's brain for them not to be. If somebody is very short, again we can't change his or her bones to be taller. If somebody is ugly, we can't change his or her face or body. I know, you'll say "depends why they're ugly", but my point stands.

    And why do you care so much what society thinks or says? Most of what modern society thinks if you scratch the surface is *******s and meaningless. You seem insecure and looking to appeal to people too much.
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    Riku you are beyond our help, really I just find these threads annoying and pathetic now. We cannot help you, you know that. You need professional help, like serious mental health help. Which I do believe you are getting? I'm sure your therapist would agree that these threads are not healthy and are not helping you if anything they are making you worse as I have seen a noticeable decline with you over several months.
    Stop posting these threads, listen to your therapist and for the love of god stop arguing with people who are trying to help you.
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    I cannot strive to be perfect because I can never be perfect. So why try and strive to become something that is impossible. I will accept the person I am and improve myself. But somethings can't be changed. I can't change the fact I tried to kill myself, because that has already happened. However I can better myself as a person for the future, sometimes it is your flaws which make you a better more ell rounded and even more interesting person. Nobody is looking for the "perfect" person, they are simply looking for someone to connect with. I am flaws and I love myself for them.
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    breaking bad anyone?
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    (Original post by carlisomes)
    Another thing, flaws cannot necessarily be fixed. if a person is absent-minded, we can't change somebody's brain for them not to be. If somebody is very short, again we can't change his or her bones to be taller. If somebody is ugly, we can't change his or her face or body. I know, you'll say "depends why they're ugly", but my point stands.

    And why do you care so much what society thinks or says? Most of what modern society thinks if you scratch the surface is *******s and meaningless. You seem insecure and looking to appeal to people too much.
    I don't want to be an unemployed, broke, alcoholic, weed smoking bum on the dole like my old school friend I had to escape from because I couldn't help him, and in my infuriating pigheadedness have took this to the extreme where I should be the next Superman and Steve Jobs combined.
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    (Original post by DiddyDec)
    I cannot strive to be perfect because I can never be perfect. So why try and strive to become something that is impossible. I will accept the person I am and improve myself. But somethings can't be changed. I can't change the fact I tried to kill myself, because that has already happened. However I can better myself as a person for the future, sometimes it is your flaws which make you a better more ell rounded and even more interesting person. Nobody is looking for the "perfect" person, they are simply looking for someone to connect with. I am flaws and I love myself for them.
    :-)
    But my flaws are so irritating that most of a student forum I post in anonymously wants me to close my account after dealing with them.
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    (Original post by SophieSmall)
    Riku you are beyond our help, really I just find these threads annoying and pathetic now. We cannot help you, you know that. You need professional help, like serious mental health help. Which I do believe you are getting? I'm sure your therapist would agree that these threads are not healthy and are not helping you if anything they are making you worse as I have seen a noticeable decline with you over several months.
    Stop posting these threads, listen to your therapist and for the love of god stop arguing with people who are trying to help you.
    Are you sure there was a decline? Can you remember when it was?

    Yeah this got blown out of proportion. The real problem is I have zilch friends to graduate with and am dreading feeling like a lonely tool at my ceremony.
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    (Original post by carlisomes)
    eh?

    I approved of capitalism but what? lol..

    I don't get which society you live in, but in my society (which incidentally is probably the same as yours, i.e. the UK) I think most accept others have flaws. And the definition of a flaw is completely subjective.

    My brother for instance is smart but doesn't have much street sense. He may think I'm smart but to him I may more superficial or not as deep with others. And? We are who we are. Why must I change who I am because it's not humanly possible to be perfect? Or others are too dim, retarded and abnormal to maneouvre around others?

    And **** "society". We're humans and are social animals, but then we can't always do what "society" deems right. "Society" in the UK once said slavery was OK, and that if you spoke badly of the King you'd be hung, drawn and quartered. A "society" can say or endorse anything, it doesn't mean anything in the end. I value career advancement, but then your definitions are bull.
    I seem to be over critical of inevitable flaws in human nature?
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    (Original post by Ya-Boy)
    Go ask Transgender people

    they can't accept who they really are, yet no one seems to tell them to deal with it.
    This
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    (Original post by WeirdlyWonderful)
    Why did she just leave you? No explanation? Or was there something to it.. It's really sweet that you're not giving up on her, you guys must've really had something.
    Lots of reasons. She was Hindu and her family were quite traditional/conservative, expect her home early and such. No dating white boys
    we kept it a secret but she warned me from the start it might not work out, we did break up in September when she came back from India, I wonder whether she has arranged marriage to deal with in future

    But I think there was more than that, she's very involved in the student body to compensate for being stuck at home in the evenings (idk whether she still is stuck mi d) and was just getting too busy
    also she made a guy friend on her course who I think she likesmore now, may even have feelings for

    We broke up in Jan and tried to be friends but ultimately I must havedepressed her/got too jealous abput stuff and she just cut contact end ofMarch

    Is it sweet? Most people think it'smore stalkerish haha
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    (Original post by Abdul-Karim)
    I have no flaws. This doesn't apply to me.

    /thread
    http://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lz...3juvo1_400.gif
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    What is perfect for you may be seen as a flaw to someone else. No one is 100% and that's what makes people so individual, it'd be a pretty boring life if you were 100% perfect would it not? You're just holding yourself to higher standards and you'll destroy yourself trying to create a perfect image of yourself. Even then, you won't be seen as 100% by someone else.
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    (Original post by LadyEcliptic)
    What is perfect for you may be seen as a flaw to someone else. No one is 100% and that's what makes people so individual, it'd be a pretty boring life if you were 100% perfect would it not? You're just holding yourself to higher standards and you'll destroy yourself trying to create a perfect image of yourself. Even then, you won't be seen as 100% by someone else.
    But Lady Ecliptic, if I won't have a single friend from my course to graduate with this July, I must be pretty damn far from perfect.
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    (Original post by Riku)
    Are you sure there was a decline? Can you remember when it was?

    Yeah this got blown out of proportion. The real problem is I have zilch friends to graduate with and am dreading feeling like a lonely tool at my ceremony.
    Your posts have gotten more and more pitiful as the months have gone on, it used to be you were just insecure about your appearance and wanted some advice on improving it and stuff like that which is pretty normal, down to posts like this and the other one you wrote were you were ridiculously paranoid your dad was buying granola to lower your testosterone.
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    (Original post by Riku)
    But Lady Ecliptic, if I won't have a single friend from my course to graduate with this July, I must be pretty damn far from perfect.
    Or you're just incompatible with the people on your course? I don't like most of the people on my course, but that's not to say there's anything wrong with them or me. There might be a lot wrong with all of us but I can't call them friends because we're so different.
    Also, what does it matter? What does it really matter? What happens now/in university will not be the same for the rest of your life. Not having friends now doesn't mean you never will, it means you don't have friends for now. Eventually you WILL get a job and then you can go from there, befriending the people you work with.
    Also your earlier comment of "I don't want to be an unemployed, broke, alcoholic, weed smoking bum on the dole like my old school friend I had to escape from because I couldn't help him" is all down to you. Unemployment and financial situation is mostly within your control, it's up to you to get a job. You seem to worry that you won't but most graduates share that worry. Being an alcoholic weed smoker is completely within your control. Just don't start, it's not likely for you to become addicted if you don't start.
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    From the way the thread has gone, I'm taking it the problem now is that you have little to no friends. I completely understand as I myself have no true friend apart from my beloved girlfriend. However the way to make friends is not to post in places like this. Instead think of something that you personally really enjoy and find a forum where you can talk and make friends. I know for a fact that you might not make any friends, and sure maybe you will graduate and there might not be anyone in your life right now. I felt the exact same way about 2 years ago when I was bullied to the point not even my parents would help me. Problem is life is all about balance. Right now your life might well suck, but I can promise you that at some point life will balance it back out.

    If you want to talk feel free to message me~
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    (Original post by Riku)
    I don't want to be an unemployed, broke, alcoholic, weed smoking bum on the dole like my old school friend I had to escape from because I couldn't help him, and in my infuriating pigheadedness have took this to the extreme where I should be the next Superman and Steve Jobs combined.
    And?

    he is living as he wants.

    I don't get your point to be honest. It seems you and your friend have outgrown each other, nothing wrong in that.
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    (Original post by Riku)
    Yeah I understand that my more obsessive side is off putting...but I did my best not to show her that. She doesn't even KNOW about Riku I hope. She knew I had anxiety and was a little depressed but only the start of the 'OCD' which I might have.
    So idk what I did wrong, I just pointed out a few times why I felt uncomfortable that she talked about this guy so much, flirted with him and almost ignored me when he was around, and most importantly chose to hang out with him rather than me at my own birthday party :-S
    She also said this 'he's just a friend, you will never be replaced' bs line
    Riku, you need to get over this one girl. This isn't the fifth time this has happened to you. It's the first. If you are so fond of being logical then you should know that this one experience does not provide enough data to see a pattern or draw any conclusions from. If she did ignore you a lot and paid more attention to this other guy then she was not being a very good girlfriend.

    Look Riku, you are probably not as unattractive and unlovable as you seem to think you are. I have a sister who behaves almost exactly like you. She's basically an older female version of 'Riku'. She is still obsessing over this guy that broke up with her around a year ago. She seem to think that she has all these flaws that I have, personally never noticed. She thinks that she is ugly, stupid, not good enough and is constantly comparing herself to someone or another. It's freaking annoying. I'm sure that, just like my sister, you are also exaggerating all these perceived flaws. I had never noticed half the stuff she blabs about till she, herself, drew attention to those things. Contrary to what you might think, Riku, the world is not constantly watching your every move, trying to see you slip up or do something stupid and laugh at you.
 
 
 
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