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    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Clip)
    I'm thinking about selling this as an app to women.

    Like maybe you could change the level of insult to injury with the number of kisses as the end; or if you want to leave the door and faint hope open, or if you just want to shut him the f- out.
    “Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”
    - Yoda

    I sense much anger in you my young padawan
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    (Original post by fat_hobbit)
    They are overcomplicating ****.
    I agree.

    Anyway yeah PM me about the situation OP.
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    (Original post by bluemax)
    Most messed up advice you can ever give to someone. Are you a complete virgin when it comes to girls or something?
    Super virgin alert.

    I'm a girl by the way. Seeing as I've been in similar situations I think I know better than you how to advise the OP.
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    (Original post by fat_hobbit)
    He sounds like a white knight. Putting women on a pedestal.

    That guys mentality is exactly the reason why a lot of guys end up losing a lot of time chasing women they can't get it.

    They think the girl will change her mind - when she probably won't, so end up getting frustrated and losing their sanity in the process..
    Again, stop assuming everyone who disagrees with you is a white knight. I'm a girl FFS.

    I've friendzoned a guy before and he ended up being my boyfriend because he was patient and didn't play stupid childish games. You need to give some women time to digest the fact you like them and figure out their feelings, all the more if she's fairly young and immature/inexperienced. This may not work - obviously there's a possibility she may not like you back - but if you act like a butthurt prick there's a good chance you can miss out of a lot of opportunities.

    Now tell me again that 'I don't know what I'm talking about'.
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    (Original post by Nomes89)
    Again, stop assuming everyone who disagrees with you is a white knight. I'm a girl FFS.

    I've friendzoned a guy before and he ended up being my boyfriend because he was patient and didn't play stupid childish games. You need to give some women time to digest the fact you like them and figure out their feelings, all the more if she's fairly young and immature/inexperienced. This may not work - obviously there's a possibility she may not like you back - but if you act like a butthurt prick there's a good chance you can miss out of a lot of opportunities.

    Now tell me again that 'I don't know what I'm talking about'.
    He doesn't have to be butthurt though. He can still talk to her if he wants to. But if a person doesn't have the common decency to respond to a text talking about your feelings and avoids meeting up with you one on one for you to tell her your feelings I'll be annoyed too.

    Wrong execution from OP but if she actually liked him or even if she had the decency as a friend of the OP, she'd have replied back, or at least arranged to talk about it even if he doesn't get an immediate answer.

    We'll see how it goes tomorrow.
    [
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    (Original post by Nomes89)
    Super virgin alert.

    I'm a girl by the way. Seeing as I've been in similar situations I think I know better than you how to advise the OP.

    good joke.
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    (Original post by jam278)
    He doesn't have to be butthurt though. He can still talk to her if he wants to. But if a person doesn't have the common decency to respond to a text talking about your feelings and avoids meeting up with you one on one for you to tell her your feelings I'll be annoyed too.

    Wrong execution from OP but if she actually liked him or even if she had the decency as a friend of the OP, she'd have replied back, or at least arranged to talk about it even if he doesn't get an immediate answer.

    We'll see how it goes tomorrow.
    [
    For clarification I wasn't referring to the OP, more to people suggesting he should react in a knee-jerk way and cut contact etc. Ideally everyone would be able to handle any situation appropriately but that's not the real world. He's done something awkward, it's going to get an 'awkward' reaction back.

    Yes he should be pissed but if he wants things to go a certain way (he genuinely likes her and wants more than friendship) then he needs to play it right. Plus if he wants a proper relationship he needs to learn to be understanding and act with more maturity.
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    (Original post by bluemax)
    good joke.
    You wish I were joking.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Nomes89)
    Again, stop assuming everyone who disagrees with you is a white knight. I'm a girl FFS.

    I've friendzoned a guy before and he ended up being my boyfriend because he was patient and didn't play stupid childish games. You need to give some women time to digest the fact you like them and figure out their feelings, all the more if she's fairly young and immature/inexperienced. This may not work - obviously there's a possibility she may not like you back - but if you act like a butthurt prick there's a good chance you can miss out of a lot of opportunities.

    Now tell me again that 'I don't know what I'm talking about'.
    I am glad that it worked out that way for you, and the guy.

    But from my experience (I am much older then you - mid-late 20s), and after interacting with tonnes of girls - this rarely happens in my experience.

    Once you are friendzoned often you get stuck there, UNLESS, she changes her mind much later on - which can often be very slim. For many guys, this is a very frustrating experience, because what often happens is that during this time , she dates like every other guy except you. Emotions then get involved, and the relationship quickly becomes toxic out of jealously leading to threads like the OP has created on TSR.

    Incidentally, when I have been successful with women, attraction is often there at the start, and she finds ways to make things easier for you - not harder.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am glad that it worked out that way for you, and the guy.

    But from my experience (I am much older then you - mid-late 20s), and after interacting with tonnes of girls - this rarely happens in my experience.

    Once you are friendzoned often you get stuck there, UNLESS, she changes her mind much later on - which can often be very slim. For many guys, this is a very frustrating experience, because what often happens is that during this time , she dates like every other guy except you. Emotions then get involved, and the relationship quickly becomes toxic out of jealously leading to threads like the OP has created on TSR.

    Incidentally, when I have been successful with women, attraction is often there at the start, and she finds ways to make things easier for you - not harder.

    Stupid thread keeps making me go anonymous
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    (Original post by Nomes89)
    For clarification I wasn't referring to the OP, more to people suggesting he should react in a knee-jerk way and cut contact etc. Ideally everyone would be able to handle any situation appropriately but that's not the real world. He's done something awkward, it's going to get an 'awkward' reaction back.

    Yes he should be pissed but if he wants things to go a certain way (he genuinely likes her and wants more than friendship) then he needs to play it right. Plus if he wants a proper relationship he needs to learn to be understanding and act with more maturity.
    Going no contact is the BEST thing he can do in this situation.

    Otherwise, he is far too available. It will also give him some space and time to clear his head. He is too emotionally attached.

    He has to give her the gift of missing him. That is one of the best ways to get out of the friends zone. I have had girls float back in once they see that I am less available and doing well in my life - they get attracted again. I suddenly tick their checkboxes again.

    A lot of women to be honest are not good at giving men advice because many have it easier in the sense they have the pick of many men. So for them, the hard bit is knowing who to choose from several suitors - as opposed to knowing how to pursue someone successfully.
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    (Original post by Nomes89)
    Again, stop assuming everyone who disagrees with you is a white knight. I'm a girl FFS.

    I've friendzoned a guy before and he ended up being my boyfriend because he was patient and didn't play stupid childish games. You need to give some women time to digest the fact you like them and figure out their feelings, all the more if she's fairly young and immature/inexperienced. This may not work - obviously there's a possibility she may not like you back - but if you act like a butthurt prick there's a good chance you can miss out of a lot of opportunities.

    Now tell me again that 'I don't know what I'm talking about'.
    I heard a very compelling argument that if you want advice on how to get girls, do not listen to girls.

    I've both read and experienced that no-contact is an effective way of dealing with these situations. Its good to find that your ex-friendzone'd boyfriend was successful but that's anecdotal and not a reflection on reality.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am glad that it worked out that way for you, and the guy.

    But from my experience (I am much older then you - mid-late 20s), and after interacting with tonnes of girls - this rarely happens in my experience.

    Once you are friendzoned often you get stuck there, UNLESS, she changes her mind much later on - which can often be very slim. For many guys, this is a very frustrating experience, because what often happens is that during this time , she dates like every other guy except you. Emotions then get involved, and the relationship quickly becomes toxic out of jealously leading to threads like the OP has created on TSR.

    Incidentally, when I have been successful with women, attraction is often there at the start, and she finds ways to make things easier for you - not harder.
    How do you know how old I am? To correct you, I'm also in the mid-late twenties bracket. Assumptions get you nowhere.

    Regardless of how many girls you have 'interacted' with you won't know the reasons behind why she says/does certain things because girls tend to discuss this with other girls only. There are variety of reasons why a girl might friendzone a guy as her first reaction even if she actually likes him. It also depends on the dynamic of the friendship; in this particular case obvious flirtatious behaviour suggests there is a level of attraction there.

    I'm definitely not saying this happens all the time or even often but looking at this particular incident it seems there's actually something more there. Do not assume in these situations, be discerning.
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    (Original post by fat_hobbit)
    Going no contact is the BEST thing he can do in this situation.

    Otherwise, he is far too available. It will also give him some space and time to clear his head. He is too emotionally attached.

    He has to give her the gift of missing him. That is one of the best ways to get out of the friends zone. I have had girls float back in once they see that I am less available and doing well in my life - they get attracted again. I suddenly tick their checkboxes again.

    A lot of women to be honest are not good at giving men advice because many have it easier in the sense they have the pick of many men. So for them, the hard bit is knowing who to choose from several suitors - as opposed to knowing how to pursue someone successfully.
    You've completely missed my point.

    And please do not pretend you are successful with women because I've seen your threads - you aren't. So you're not in any place to give advice to a guy who wants to be successful. Sorry to be harsh.

    You do not understand women and arguing with someone who knows women better than you do shows your naivety and incidentally precisely why you don't do well. You assume you know best, you won't listen and you're not perceptive.

    If you want a healthy relationship with a stable woman, playing these games will not work. Only insecure, immature women will seek approval from a man that has ignored them. And that attention will be short lived.

    If a man ignores a female friend after he's been rejected many women will think he was only ever interested in getting in her pants and didn't value the friendship so will see the guy as a bullet well dodged.
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    (Original post by VeniViciVidi)
    I heard a very compelling argument that if you want advice on how to get girls, do not listen to girls.

    I've both read and experienced that no-contact is an effective way of dealing with these situations. Its good to find that your ex-friendzone'd boyfriend was successful but that's anecdotal and not a reflection on reality.
    Your experience is just as anecdotal as well. There are no rules to these situations, people need to become emotionally intelligent enough to analyse each situation/person as they come. You don't know the OP to say how best he should deal with his feelings.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Nomes89)
    Your experience is just as anecdotal as well. There are no rules to these situations, people need to become emotionally intelligent enough to analyse each situation/person as they come. You don't know the OP to say how best he should deal with his feelings.
    He has PMed me, describing the situation.

    And tbh with experience you learn a lot. Girls who go hot and cold, are the biggest time wasters. They use you for the validation.
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    (Original post by Nomes89)
    You've completely missed my point.

    And please do not pretend you are successful with women because I've seen your threads - you aren't. So you're not in any place to give advice to a guy who wants to be successful. Sorry to be harsh.

    You do not understand women and arguing with someone who knows women better than you do shows your naivety and incidentally precisely why you don't do well. You assume you know best, you won't listen and you're not perceptive.

    If you want a healthy relationship with a stable woman, playing these games will not work. Only insecure, immature women will seek approval from a man that has ignored them. And that attention will be short lived.

    If a man ignores a female friend after he's been rejected many women will think he was only ever interested in getting in her pants and didn't value the friendship so will see the guy as a bullet well dodged.
    lol

    What talking about my ex gf??? - btw I didnt do this longwinded friends game to get her, Attraction was there.

    BTW, i am not the only one on here who voiced a similar opinion. Clip has as well and she is a girl.

    You are giving this man terrible advice when he has overly emotionally invested in her. You cant be friends with someone you are really into, so dont even try it.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by VeniViciVidi)
    I heard a very compelling argument that if you want advice on how to get girls, do not listen to girls.

    I've both read and experienced that no-contact is an effective way of dealing with these situations. Its good to find that your ex-friendzone'd boyfriend was successful but that's anecdotal and not a reflection on reality.
    What Nomes doesn't get , it is not even about getting the girl.

    His mindset is unhealthy.

    He is constantly thinking about her, hence in threads, but in Nomes mind its OK despite that if they are still friends. When he is suffering.

    Well Nomes, of course its ok for you ,because you know you can get the guy anytime you want. It's like having an unconditional offer for a university place!

    That's why he needs to go no contact, and that's exactly why you can't be mates with someone you are REALLY into. He needs time apart from this girl.
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    (Original post by Nomes89)
    How do you know how old I am? To correct you, I'm also in the mid-late twenties bracket. Assumptions get you nowhere.

    Regardless of how many girls you have 'interacted' with you won't know the reasons behind why she says/does certain things because girls tend to discuss this with other girls only. There are variety of reasons why a girl might friendzone a guy as her first reaction even if she actually likes him. It also depends on the dynamic of the friendship; in this particular case obvious flirtatious behaviour suggests there is a level of attraction there.

    I'm definitely not saying this happens all the time or even often but looking at this particular incident it seems there's actually something more there. Do not assume in these situations, be discerning.
    A girl flirting with you does not mean anything unless she is prepared to go on a date with you, because, you know what, some girls flirt with EVERY guy - they do it for the validation. The player types.

    Actions speak louder then words.

    Let's put this situation in perspective:

    1) I am pretty sure given how long this has been going on for, she has known for AGES, that he has liked her. His text just confirmed it. So everyone going bang on about this being awkward, if anything it shouldn't have come as a surprise.

    2) He hasn't gone on an official date with her.

    3) I don't know what happened since that text, but she hardly came back reciprocating her feelings.

    4) This situation has bothered him SO MUCH, that he has decided to start a thread on TSR.

    So even if say - I will give you the benefit of the doubt here, say she does like him back - look at what this girl has done to this man mentally. Is she even worth the aggravation and friendship?

    I hope for the OPs sake, he gets the girl, but more often then not it ends up resulting in someone getting hurt. So by telling him to stick around and wait for her to change her mind, is really horrible advice. The only girls I can do this with, are girls I am not attracted too.
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    (Original post by Nomes89)
    Again, stop assuming everyone who disagrees with you is a white knight. I'm a girl FFS.

    I've friendzoned a guy before and he ended up being my boyfriend because he was patient and didn't play stupid childish games. You need to give some women time to digest the fact you like them and figure out their feelings, all the more if she's fairly young and immature/inexperienced. This may not work - obviously there's a possibility she may not like you back - but if you act like a butthurt prick there's a good chance you can miss out of a lot of opportunities.

    Now tell me again that 'I don't know what I'm talking about'.
    I'm not a Clinical Psychologist or anything, but I know crazy talk when I see it. And that, madam...is crazy talk.
 
 
 
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