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Is it weird that I wouldn't want my Dad to walk me down the aisle? Watch

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    (Original post by beccagood95)
    No, but for the most part it's still sometimes called "giving away" and that's how it started. I just don't feel like it's something I'd want at my wedding, it seems to be a bit of a pointless tradition if he's actually NOT giving me away. I get that other people really want that, especially when they have really good relationships with their dad, but I'd definitely rather walk myself down. Or maybe walk down with my fiance.
    Yeah but how far are you going to take this?

    White represents your virginity, a veil - your hymen! Eew! Tossing of the garter is a reassurance to your guests that the marriage is being consummated, literally at the wedding.

    Your engagement ring is a modern dowry. He's sealing the deal with a monetary gift, traditionally this is to buy the bride and acts as a test of finances.

    Many of the bride and bridegroom assistants' roles are supposedly related to bride kidnap and violence at weddings which were less than voluntary I've even read that the honeymoon may have been a period of hiding in which to impregnate the bride before those who might want her (her own family, or another bridegroom) can find her.

    Essentially the cultural/traditional/white dress wedding is filled with relics of creepy sexist rubbish, and has a frankly horrific history. Quite interesting really, and I think worth thinking about.

    However, tradition can be turned into something nice and be given a new meaning. I don't think one has to reject any of these things on the basis of their history, if well-meant, enjoyable and harmless.

    Completely down to you though OP. Personally, I like the idea of being walked to my husband by someone else I care about. I don't view myself as property of my parents until I get married but nevertheless my doing so will be an important emotional event for them, something to enjoy and be proud of (as an "our child's landmark!" sort of thing).

    I guess it's a bit unfair that just the dad gets to do it, but if it was both my parents shambling along behind me that might be a bit awkward. I think of the "giving away the bride" as the dad's compensation for not being able to enjoy an expensive new frock like the bride's mother does. Suits aren't as fun.

    EDIT: To chime in on the "is the OP an ungrateful heartless *****" debate, I think it would be unkind not to give your parents a role / sense of being important on the day, whatever form that takes (doesn't have to be traditional) because it will be a very exciting day for them and they'll be looking forward to playing a part in it. I'm sure you could plan alternatives to the traditional roles parents play at weddings if that was your preference.
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    (Original post by nohomo)
    True but I'm assuming, with her feminism principles of equality, she'd want to earn the same or just slightly more than her husband (to cover for her pregnancy when she can't earn).
    First, that's not a feminism principle of equality.

    Secondly, in that case the man is still not the 'protector'.
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    (Original post by Bartimaeus)
    First, that's not a feminism principle of equality.

    Secondly, in that case the man is still not the 'protector'.
    Right this is like arguing with a brick wall.

    Life's too short. I'm done.
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    (Original post by nohomo)
    Right this is like arguing with a brick wall.

    Life's too short. I'm done.
    How rude.

    If you're going to post outdated and misogynistic views on a public forum then you can expect people to protest.
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    Nope, perfectly normal. Even if it was the law for him to walk you down the isle, whoze gonna enforce it?
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    it's just a stupid custom
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    (Original post by Viva Emptiness)
    It's not like that's actually what it means any more, it's just tradition.

    I think you're just being contrary for the sake of it.

    What a ridiculous statement.

    Equally just because it's tradition doesn't mean it should or has to be adhered to.


    OP there is nothing wrong with your opinion. A wedding should be exactly the way you want it to be not the way tradition dictates. After all you're paying for it and it's your day.
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    (Original post by Last Day Lepers)
    What a ridiculous statement.

    Equally just because it's tradition doesn't mean it should or has to be adhered to.


    OP there is nothing wrong with your opinion. A wedding should be exactly the way you want it to be not the way tradition dictates. After all you're paying for it and it's your day.
    It's not a ridiculous statement, OP has just clearly applied no critical thinking to her decision and gone all teen with "I'm not a thing to give a way, I am a person". The reason she doesn't want it doesn't even match the meaning of the action anymore. I'd bet a lot of money that when she gets older she won't even give a **** about it.
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    I understand it more as a tradition when one family (father is usually considered a head of the family, hence why he gets an opportunity to lead daughter) releases their child into the arms of a new forming family.
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    (Original post by Viva Emptiness)
    It's not a ridiculous statement, OP has just clearly applied no critical thinking to her decision and gone all teen with "I'm not a thing to give a way, I am a person". The reason she doesn't want it doesn't even match the meaning of the action anymore. I'd bet a lot of money that when she gets older she won't even give a **** about it.

    She clearly has thought about it and her decision is entirely reasonable. The tradition started with the father giving the daughter away almost as property. It may not exactly mean that today, but the tradition firstly started that way and still has a similar connotations today. You always hear people talking of walking a daughter down the aisle to give her away.

    If you or others are happy with this tradition then fine, no one is judging you for that, but making fairly patronising comments like she has "gone all teen" and "when she gets older" doesn't actually dispute her reasoning. You're just attacking her personally because you disagree with her opinion.

    Not everyone that goes against tradition is a naive hipster. Some people genuinely have thought about it and disagree with tradition.
 
 
 
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