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Why do girls with boyfriends sometimes lead on single guys? Watch

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    (Original post by RachaelBee)
    Soem girls do like the attention. Others, like me, either really don't get it OR we suspect something is going on but we're too scared to say "are you flirting? I'm not comfortable with that" because it could get very embarrassing if you're just being nice.
    Understood. Thanks for this. With regards to girl #2 in my OP, what do you think? Am I in the wrong here?

    (Original post by Sashari)
    You see and I think:

    'Why does every guy I have a conversation with thinks I want to get it on?!'

    By 3rd year of uni I figured out that every time I start a conversation with a guy I need to mention I have a boyfriend. I am so relieved when they reciprocate by talking about their girlfriend. Seriously, 1st year of uni I felt so lonely because I get on best with guys, but it turned out they thought there was more going on there than friendship.

    Now needless to say I am mostly friends with girls and just a few guys.
    Thanks. Look I get some guys are like that, but I don't assume every girl is 'into me'. What do you think about girl #2 in my OP? She also did points 3 and 4.
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    (Original post by pshah2)
    Explain?
    Cba
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    (Original post by CocoBandicoot)
    Yeah, first I would check she still has this boyfriend, as however unlikely she may actually be on the rebound. Otherwise she just sounds like a *****, which you should steer as far away as possible from. Don't worry about the fantasies they don't mean much.
    As for crush girl your going to have to find another way to get talking to her. If you could just casually bump into her and start a conversation in a mutual public place, you could add her on social media from there, and talking will be a lot less awkward.
    I found out she has a boyfriend from a mutual friend and also her coursemates. She hasn't told me this. So I don't think she is on the rebound. She seems to be deliberately messing me around. Do you think it's to stop me from meeting crush girl? I will try and talk to her if I meet her casually. Trouble is she is in a different course building which I don't have access to. Guess I could try and tailgate my way in, but my campus feels like a big town itself!

    Am I restricted to just hoping I would meet crush girl? Glad to know that the fantasies not meaning much. I agree, I think I only think about her because she literally rubbed her foot on my crotch. I would much rather meet a nice girl like the crush and ask her out.

    I think I might avoid and gradually unfriend my female friend. She does seem to be a bit of a **tch. What do you think?
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    Depends what you mean. I've been accused of leading guys on when I honestly haven't had any intention to do so. When I've had a few drinks I'm very chatty and flirty (with both guys and girls) and basically if someone starts talking to me I will talk back. What am I supposed to do? Stop every guy who might start a conversation? I'd never let it get as far as asking for my number or texting them of course, that's a bit shady.
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    (Original post by LavenderBlueSky88)
    Depends what you mean. I've been accused of leading guys on when I honestly haven't had any intention to do so. When I've had a few drinks I'm very chatty and flirty (with both guys and girls) and basically if someone starts talking to me I will talk back. What am I supposed to do? Stop every guy who might start a conversation? I'd never let it get as far as asking for my number or texting them of course, that's a bit shady.
    Thanks for this! Much appreciated.

    I understand. It's a natural thing to flirt a little. But I think one girl went a bit further than that. And another one has gone so far. What do you think about girl #1 and girl #2 in my OP?

    Girl 2 especially as I am very confused after she did (3) and (4). I've pasted my OP below for reference, I know it's long. Appreciate your help expert!

    (Original post by pshah2)
    First of all, disclosure I have female friends and I don't hit on all girls.

    1. I met a girl at uni who I thought was very pretty, seemed to get on with in conversation. In fact, she seemed fairly flirty too. She's on a different course to me. She seemed to have only a few close friends and be more private. I think lots of people were too scared to talk to her as she was drop dead gorgeous. I was in a select few group of guys who got her number and the only one from my course. She played with her hair, and laughed and smiled with me a lot. She exchanged a few texts. One day she said let's meet for coffee too. In fairness I never asked her out or asked about a bf, but then way later on, I found out from someone else that she was engaged. Whaaat? I mean as well as being friendly, I was pretty forward with compliments about her, so I'm not sure why she didn't bring it up. I know there is no "taken" ring on every girl who isn't single, but I felt she was leading me on a bit!

    2. One of my female friends is a feisty attractive spanish girl. I get on well with her, because I listen to her. Some of the others in my hall (including her friends) find her a little too talkative. Although I thought she was pretty, I didn't think of her in that way, just friends. I fancy a few girls in halls and she knows this. She seems to walk in a conversation I am having with my crushes and blanks the other girl, essentially interrupting proceedings! She only does this with hot girls.

    3. The same girl in (2) seems adamant to block me meeting a crush I have on her course. I was told by three friends that this girl has similar interests to me. I saw a picture and she is beautiful! All 3 said that girl (2) should introduce her to me/vice versa. Girl (2) who up until this point was happy to discuss me meeting other girls, quickly changes the subject "No she's not his type". I was hoping crush girl would be invited to a party at halls (as she invited girl 2 and the others to her own birthday party), but nope. Two days later, girl 2 puts her bare feet on my crotch during a game of cards in public. She also sucks her finger suggestively at breakfast the next day from across the room!

    4. As well as fantasising about meeting my crush, I now keep thinking about female friend girl 2. But... get this, I just found out from someone else that she has a long distance boyfriend!


    I feel uncomfortable now as I wasn't trying to hit on a girl who was engaged nor enjoy a footjob from a girl with a boyfriend.

    Does this happen often?!
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    (Original post by Yemiisii)
    Cba
    Sorry, what does that mean? What do you think of the girls in my OP?
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    (Original post by pshah2)
    Understood. Thanks for this. With regards to girl #2 in my OP, what do you think? Am I in the wrong here?
    No, she is. Either she wants attention whilst she doesn't have her boyfriend around or she needs to face up to the fact that long distance isn't for her.
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    (Original post by RachaelBee)
    No, she is. Either she wants attention whilst she doesn't have her boyfriend around or she needs to face up to the fact that long distance isn't for her.
    Thanks for this.

    So what do I do about her rubbing her feet on me? I started to think about her after she did that.

    And what about her blocking me from meeting this crush of mine? What does it all mean?

    Advice for me?
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    Because they fancy them, or because they're using them to look more desirable and make the long term partner jealous.
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    (Original post by pshah2)
    Thanks for this.

    So what do I do about her rubbing her feet on me? I started to think about her after she did that.

    And what about her blocking me from meeting this crush of mine? What does it all mean?

    Advice for me?
    Well that all depends on whether you actually like her or not. If she did break up with her partner now though and got with you would you trust her or would you be constantly worrying about her flirting with other guys behind your back? If so I'd steer clear of a relationship and just stay friends.
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    (Original post by Chillaxer)
    Because they fancy them, or because they're using them to look more desirable and make the long term partner jealous.
    What do you make of girl #2 in my OP?

    (Original post by RachaelBee)
    Well that all depends on whether you actually like her or not. If she did break up with her partner now though and got with you would you trust her or would you be constantly worrying about her flirting with other guys behind your back? If so I'd steer clear of a relationship and just stay friends.
    What do you make of girl #2 (who is also 3 and 4) in my OP?

    I only like her/think about her in a sexual way because she rubbed her foot on me and sucked her finger from across the room. I hadn't thought about her in that way before. Thing is she did this after I was trying to date a hot girl I like on her course.

    I wouldn't want her as a gf, I want to date a friend on her course. Advice? Additional details in my OP! Help pls!!
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    (Original post by LavenderBlueSky88)
    Depends what you mean. I've been accused of leading guys on when I honestly haven't had any intention to do so. When I've had a few drinks I'm very chatty and flirty (with both guys and girls) and basically if someone starts talking to me I will talk back. What am I supposed to do? Stop every guy who might start a conversation? I'd never let it get as far as asking for my number or texting them of course, that's a bit shady.
    Thing is girl #2 went more than flirt a little. What do you make of this? :

    She is a feisty attractive spanish girl. I get on well with her, because I listen to her. Some of the others in my hall (including her friends) find her a little too talkative. Although I thought she was pretty, I didn't think of her in that way, just friends. I fancy a few girls in halls and she knows this. She seems to walk in a conversation I am having with my crushes and blanks the other girl, essentially interrupting proceedings! She only does this with hot girls.

    She seems adamant to block me meeting a crush I have on her course. I was told by three friends that this girl has similar interests to me. I saw a picture and she is beautiful! All 3 said that girl #2 should introduce her to me/vice versa. Girl #2 who up until this point was happy to discuss me meeting other girls, quickly changes the subject "No she's not his type". I was hoping crush girl would be invited to a party at halls (as she invited girl 2 and the others to her own birthday party), but nope. Two days later, girl 2 puts her bare feet on my crotch during a game of cards in public. She also sucks her finger suggestively at breakfast the next day from across the room!

    As well as fantasising about meeting my crush, I now keep thinking about female friend girl 2. But... get this, I just found out from someone else that she has a long distance boyfriend!
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    (Original post by Yemiisii)
    Cba
    What do you mean?

    What do you think about girl #2 in my OP?
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    (Original post by pshah2)
    What do you make of girl #2 in my OP?



    What do you make of girl #2 (who is also 3 and 4) in my OP?

    I only like her/think about her in a sexual way because she rubbed her foot on me and sucked her finger from across the room. I hadn't thought about her in that way before. Thing is she did this after I was trying to date a hot girl I like on her course.

    I wouldn't want her as a gf, I want to date a friend on her course. Advice? Additional details in my OP! Help pls!!
    Well, she's either jealous because she likes you or she's attention seeking. Have you asked her out-right if she'll introduce you to the girl since everyone thinks you'll get on and you'd like to see what happens yourself, without her assuming she isn't your type? You could always word it along the lines of you don't have a specific type.
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    (Original post by RachaelBee)
    Well, she's either jealous because she likes you or she's attention seeking. Have you asked her out-right if she'll introduce you to the girl since everyone thinks you'll get on and you'd like to see what happens yourself, without her assuming she isn't your type? You could always word it along the lines of you don't have a specific type.
    Yeah i think maybe a mixture of both. Thing is she's got inside my head now. Is this what she wanted? Me to think about her?

    That's a good idea. I think I was put off because she outright dismissed it in a group. But I could try and ask her. I agree, I don't really agree with her view at all! I would just like to meet this crush casually and see if we hit it off.

    What do you suggest asking female friend? Btw I think she might be jealous of crush girl who is popular.
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    (Original post by pshah2)
    Yeah i think maybe a mixture of both. Thing is she's got inside my head now. Is this what she wanted? Me to think about her?

    That's a good idea. I think I was put off because she outright dismissed it in a group. But I could try and ask her. I agree, I don't really agree with her view at all! I would just like to meet this crush casually and see if we hit it off.

    What do you suggest asking female friend? Btw I think she might be jealous of crush girl who is popular.
    I'd just be honest about wanting to be introduced to the girl, I can be quite blunt at times but you at least know where you stand with me. You're not with her and she has a boyfriend, there's no real need for you to tread delicately around her whether she wants to be inside your head or not. That said, don't be rude!
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    (Original post by RachaelBee)
    I'd just be honest about wanting to be introduced to the girl, I can be quite blunt at times but you at least know where you stand with me. You're not with her and she has a boyfriend, there's no real need for you to tread delicately around her whether she wants to be inside your head or not. That said, don't be rude!
    I think I'm going to break off friendship with her. She doesn't seem to be a good friend. Feel like I'm being used.

    Thing is I'm worried about asking directly. I pretty much asked indirectly at that dinner conversation with all of them. She will most likely dismiss it and try to give me a lapdance or something lol.

    Just wish I could have met that crush, but seems unlikely now. This girl is a terrible person. I am going to blank her as best as I can.
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    (Original post by RachaelBee)
    I'd just be honest about wanting to be introduced to the girl, I can be quite blunt at times but you at least know where you stand with me. You're not with her and she has a boyfriend, there's no real need for you to tread delicately around her whether she wants to be inside your head or not. That said, don't be rude!
    (Original post by RachaelBee)
    No, she is. Either she wants attention whilst she doesn't have her boyfriend around or she needs to face up to the fact that long distance isn't for her.
    Thing is I think I need to end the friendship as I find it difficult to think about her normally (after she seduced me). I also am irritated that she blocked the move to meet my crush. The longer I stay her friend, the more that fact hurts me. Gonna try solo, but out of ideas how to meet her.

    What do you make of the folllowing 3 points:

    1. The other day on a night out with a couple of people, the same female friend asked me at the table whether I minded her resting her legs on me as there was little space. Tbh, before I even acknowledged her, she did it anyway. A few others had gone to go and get drinks. Thankfully, it wasn't foot on crotch this time. Then she started talking about how she was trying to think about something. Then she just randomly started saying she was wondering whether to split up with her bf. This was the first time she had ever told me she had one. She was asking me whether I thought she should, despite providing no details. I just said that she should do what she feels is right. I quickly moved away when some others came back with drinks. Same night she was taking a picture with me, and then quickly wanted to retake it as she said "It looked like we were about to kiss". Wtf?

    What was she trying here?

    2. When in a group of friends at halls, she was laughing about a picture of a few of us. The joke seemed to be how I had a smile on my face and her head was somewhere near my crotch. Has she been saying something? Is this her plan, to make other girls think I'm with her, so I can't date anyone else?

    3.. I'm feeling p***ed off with what she has done to me. How do I teach her a lesson and meet crush or be friendlier with another girl at halls? (I.e. what this crazy female friend is trying to block)
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    (Original post by pshah2)
    Thing is I think I need to end the friendship as I find it difficult to think about her normally (after she seduced me). I also am irritated that she blocked the move to meet my crush. The longer I stay her friend, the more that fact hurts me. Gonna try solo, but out of ideas how to meet her.

    What do you make of the folllowing 3 points:

    1. The other day on a night out with a couple of people, the same female friend asked me at the table whether I minded her resting her legs on me as there was little space. Tbh, before I even acknowledged her, she did it anyway. A few others had gone to go and get drinks. Thankfully, it wasn't foot on crotch this time. Then she started talking about how she was trying to think about something. Then she just randomly started saying she was wondering whether to split up with her bf. This was the first time she had ever told me she had one. She was asking me whether I thought she should, despite providing no details. I just said that she should do what she feels is right. I quickly moved away when some others came back with drinks. Same night she was taking a picture with me, and then quickly wanted to retake it as she said "It looked like we were about to kiss". Wtf?

    What was she trying here?

    I think you gave her the right answer there. As for the rest of her behaviour? I really don't know.

    2. When in a group of friends at halls, she was laughing about a picture of a few of us. The joke seemed to be how I had a smile on my face and her head was somewhere near my crotch. Has she been saying something? Is this her plan, to make other girls think I'm with her, so I can't date anyone else?

    Were you there for the entire conversation? If not can you ask your friends if she has? To be honest I can be very immature when it comes to stuff like that, some of us just never grow out of it.

    3.. I'm feeling p***ed off with what she has done to me. How do I teach her a lesson and meet crush or be friendlier with another girl at halls? (I.e. what this crazy female friend is trying to block)

    Just be straight up with her or be very blatantly obvious about your interests lying elsewhere. I had to do that yesterday and it seems a bit harsh but the guy in question overstepped the line. I was with my ex and we were in bed talking and trying to patch things up when I received a completely inappropriate message. So when the guy asked me how my trip down south was I just told him it was great, I got uni offers and I got to see my ex and we were going to try sort stuff. He (understandably) had a couple of questions but me and him aren't together and it seems to have put a stop to the awkward messages.
    Answers in red.
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    (Original post by RachaelBee)
    Answers in red.
    Thanks. Glad I gave the right answer. In terms of that conversation, she and a few friends were looking through photographs. I arrived on the scene and someone was giggling about it and she was smiling to herself. I've been pretty straight up from the start. I mean she was in a group of friends at halls and I discussed my crushes with all of them, including her. She seemed to get in the way at halls when I tried to approach a girl at a party.

    I am interested in other girls, but somehow I seem to keep lusting about her. Is it because of what she does?
 
 
 
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