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being unsuccessful with women is making me mysogynistic watch

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    (Original post by pmprin)
    you disgust me
    charming
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    Talk to more girls and ask them about themselves. Girls can be pretty selfish so simply ask them about something to do with them and let them go on and on. Asking a girl for help on a question in class won't hurt at all- just lower those social barriers over time and love yourself (fake it til you make it)
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    (Original post by karl pilkington)
    Well the whole point of this section is to ask advice why bother just posting to say you don't care?
    The answer was in the second sentence


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    (Original post by paul514)
    The answer was in the second sentence


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    no it wasn't you are the idiot for posting a pointless rude comment, I didn't say it was a divine right of mine
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    (Original post by Rakas21)
    While I don't share OP's negative views, as somebody that's gone from thin to fat my eyes have certainly been opened in how shallow and entitled many women are. Its amusing that women are lambasting him but actually they've probably in this country been brought up to be rather spoilt.

    I still like women though.
    As a female who's gone from fat to thin, acne to clear skin and a lot more attractive, I'd have to say men are exactly the same. It was the boys who bullied me in school, never the girls, and they put bets on asking me to dance at school events etc for jokes. Now when I meet them, they can hardly believe I'm the same person and I've had more than one ask me out. In my part time job, I've experienced seeing two of the men sleep with girls in work. These girls are totally attached but the guys have no interest and have told me behind their backs that they consider them too fat/unattractive and are just using them for sex.

    I think it's silly to generalise this as either a male or female thing. Obviously everyone in this thread has experience of one or the other and I think it's safe to say that it depends on the type of person they are and not just their sex. So accepting that is probably no.1 on your list. In saying that, there are some people who are also less likely to get favourable responses than others and in this case, you really need to work on yourself rather than expecting other people to change for you.

    On a quick browse of the OPs threads, I'm seeing things like: Girls, has another girl ever come onto you, what do girls thing of others girls breast sizes, I live at home with my parents, I'm unattractive, I only really feel things for beautiful women, Should we let attractive refugees in because this one is pretty hot and then on a thread about one girl forcing her boyfriend to commit suicide, "wow she's actually pretty hot." Then a bunch of how to get women to like me, bored of no contact with women etc etc and particularly "I know I won't be happy without a relationship". If you were anything like this in person, personally I would avoid you like the plague because of your personality. I'd say you either sound very young, or very socially inept and the first thing to do is to try and make a good group of decent friends and take things from there.

    Consider females potential friends rather than hot girls you want to date. Anyone who thinks a relationship is everything and will make them happy, screams that they're then going to be dependant on you for happiness. That's not what a relationship should be to begin with. Most people want a relationship with a stable, happy, outgoing, sociable person. You don't have to be amazing at it or have 400+ friends. Just be able to hold normal conversations, have your own hobbies that get you out of the house, be interested in theirs and be able to maintain a small close group of friends. If you aren't happy at the moment, I guarantee you a relationship isn't going to magically solve that.

    I don't believe hotness should be a priority at all, a great personality can really change the way you feel about someone. That being said there does have to be an initial attraction of some sort there so if you feel you're not at that level, again work on that. Anyone can go to the gym, change their diet and figure, get nicer clothes/hair, be more hygienic etc. This works both ways, you'll need to have some initial attraction to the girl but expecting them to be absolutely beautiful when you're not even close is unrealistic and hypocritical.

    I could list a ton of other things but this post is already pretty big and really it's all going to boil down to find the right group of nice people and work on yourself more. Find your own motivations and interests and try to be happy by yourself before relying on someone else for it.
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    (Original post by scrotgrot)
    Would you say that to a woman who had been ridiculed in such a way by men, particularly at such a public and memorable event as her school prom?

    Of course, I know ultimately it all has to be the fault of the man, real men don't have feelings so they don't feel pain from humiliation and rejection, and men who are unsuccessful with women are obviously worthless people who deserve their loneliness. But you'd think you and other women ITT could still express a little bit of sympathy.

    £50 is a pretty steep stake as well
    Of course i would say the same thing to a woman. If you treat a group of people badly and have such a low opinion of them don't expect anything good from them.
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    Allow old uncle Foo to inject a little balance/further 'wisdom' into the debate..

    Doesn't sound as though it's just being unsuccessful with women that's making you misogynistic OP, it's also the way they treat you. More broadly I would ask yourself whether you’re doing all you can to have a healthy social life (being reclusive ain’t likely to help ofc). Regarding tending toward misogyny, I would take the following, principled, stance:

    1) Hate is a strong word, hate not your transgressors but, rather, pity the fools (for their wickedness)

    2) Understand that some people (both men and women) are *******s to other people, but this is not reason to hate on an entire gender

    3) Understand that it is human nature to treat people both in accordance with how we find them and how they will tolerate us treating them

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    As soon as you're in a good place in your life, they will come running to you like the money-grabbing witches that they are - and that's the point when you will have power over them
    Cos that's not misogynistic at all :erm:

    Don't worry about what's happening now - you're still young, you can pick up girls in clubs and/or pay for sex with as many girls as you want
    Cos that's not objectifying at all :erm:

    (Original post by queen-bee)
    Spoilt?!
    There is such a thing as ‘female privilege’ you know (in the social domain). All but the fugliest of women are somewhat ‘spoilt’ for choice/hold most of the cards (where most mortal men are concerned) up to their late twenties

    (Original post by Rakas21)
    women like to claim they are angels who care about personality which is mostly not true .. I was previously getting women because of my looks, not my personality
    (Original post by Caytea)
    a great personality can really change the way you feel about someone. That being said there does have to be an initial attraction of some sort there
    To be fair, with the exception of naïve little girls, most (fairly sensible/experienced) women (e.g. Caytea) will acknowledge that typically presentation + demeanour will initially open up the possibility of a relationship, whereas personality is what’s most likely to keep them in it and really get them hooked

    (Original post by Little Popcorns)
    just try being an all round better person and not just thinking about wetting your willy. Then people in general including women will gravitate towards you
    (Original post by LeCapitalist)
    It's not good advice. I don't know him but I bet it's not because he's not a "good person" that he doesn't get female attention. Plenty of ****ty guys get a lot of attention and that's because they have what is considered "attractive" by most girls
    Smashed it. See my seminal thread for further reference

    (Original post by Bornblue)
    finding the balance of showing that you're interested in them while at the same time showing you don't really care about the outcome
    (Original post by redferry)
    Just be yourself and get out and meet as many girls as you possibly can
    (Original post by Bornblue)
    None of that conflicts what I said 'Be yourself' is a good base of advice but I'd amend and qualify that to 'be a more self confident, relaxed and less needy version of yourself
    (Original post by ImagineCats)
    ask them about something to do with them and let them go on and on .. and love yourself (fake it til you make it)
    (Original post by Caytea)
    I think it's silly to generalise this as either a male or female thing
    Find your own motivations and interests and try to be happy by yourself before relying on someone else for it
    All true. More on self-worth

    just being themselves, being friendly, being chatty, and by having friends that recognised people they'd get on with and introducing them. All there is to it
    All well and good but in truth extremely few boys have the luxury, at any given moment in time, of a friendship circle that have both abundant links to desirable, single lasses who would go for a boy who may be effectively perceived as being ‘lower value’ and characters within said circle who are suitably minded to/capable of connecting such guys with said females

    (Original post by Caytea)
    Consider females potential friends rather than hot girls you want to date
    You have to be careful with this approach, as LeCapitalist rightly warns above. The friendzone (which is where this often leads such boys) is often nowt but a source of anguish and enhanced feelings of bitterness and (self/female) resentment

    Just be able to hold normal conversations, have your own hobbies that get you out of the house, be interested in theirs and be able to maintain a small close group of friends
    Not saying you’re wrong, the spirit of your advice rings true, but it’s not so much about conventional capabilities/social attributes as how you make a girl feel, on balance, within a number of key domains (which do include the sense in which she perceives you are 'your own man' and are a reasonably well functioning 'social animal' [or at least not a total sociopath])

    Spoiler:
    Show
    For example, I often have little to no interest in 'normal' conversations and small talk, sometimes seldom engage in my own interests/hobbies at all – and rarely talk to girls much about them, am often housebound (I have ME/CFS), and have no close group of friends, yet I have absolutely no trouble with the ladies/am sporadically pestered to spend more time with/‘go steady’ with the girls I date. This has little to do with looks btw, I'm somewhat handsome in the eyes of some but no work of art

    expecting them to be absolutely beautiful when you're not even close is unrealistic and hypocritical
    Not hypocritical as men and women aren’t the same and male vs. female attraction is not governed by quite the same mix (male:female attraction is dominanted by aesthetics in a way that the reverse is not)

    Should anyone reading this have any further questions e.g. about dating and relationships, please see my related AMA thread :top2:
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    (Original post by LeCapitalist)
    Btw, that is why you get bitter young guys. They think to themselves "I am a good guy, I am helpful and kind and yet no women like me even though they say they want guys like me". Bitterness and misogyny ensues.

    It's not good advice. I don't know him but I bet it's not because he's not a "good person" that he doesn't get female attention. Plenty of ****ty guys get a lot of attention and that's because they have what is considered "attractive" by most girls.
    Yeah well you can keep betting that he's a nice person but it was he who a while back asked if girls actually wouldn't mind being sexually assaulted... As in oh baby please don't let me give you person, rape. He wasn't joking.
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    (Original post by Caytea)
    As a female who's gone from fat to thin, acne to clear skin and a lot more attractive, I'd have to say men are exactly the same. It was the boys who bullied me in school, never the girls, and they put bets on asking me to dance at school events etc for jokes. Now when I meet them, they can hardly believe I'm the same person and I've had more than one ask me out. In my part time job, I've experienced seeing two of the men sleep with girls in work. These girls are totally attached but the guys have no interest and have told me behind their backs that they consider them too fat/unattractive and are just using them for sex.

    I think it's silly to generalise this as either a male or female thing. Obviously everyone in this thread has experience of one or the other and I think it's safe to say that it depends on the type of person they are and not just their sex. So accepting that is probably no.1 on your list. In saying that, there are some people who are also less likely to get favourable responses than others and in this case, you really need to work on yourself rather than expecting other people to change for you.

    On a quick browse of the OPs threads, I'm seeing things like: Girls, has another girl ever come onto you, what do girls thing of others girls breast sizes, I live at home with my parents, I'm unattractive, I only really feel things for beautiful women, Should we let attractive refugees in because this one is pretty hot and then on a thread about one girl forcing her boyfriend to commit suicide, "wow she's actually pretty hot." Then a bunch of how to get women to like me, bored of no contact with women etc etc and particularly "I know I won't be happy without a relationship". If you were anything like this in person, personally I would avoid you like the plague because of your personality. I'd say you either sound very young, or very socially inept and the first thing to do is to try and make a good group of decent friends and take things from there.

    Consider females potential friends rather than hot girls you want to date. Anyone who thinks a relationship is everything and will make them happy, screams that they're then going to be dependant on you for happiness. That's not what a relationship should be to begin with. Most people want a relationship with a stable, happy, outgoing, sociable person. You don't have to be amazing at it or have 400+ friends. Just be able to hold normal conversations, have your own hobbies that get you out of the house, be interested in theirs and be able to maintain a small close group of friends. If you aren't happy at the moment, I guarantee you a relationship isn't going to magically solve that.

    I don't believe hotness should be a priority at all, a great personality can really change the way you feel about someone. That being said there does have to be an initial attraction of some sort there so if you feel you're not at that level, again work on that. Anyone can go to the gym, change their diet and figure, get nicer clothes/hair, be more hygienic etc. This works both ways, you'll need to have some initial attraction to the girl but expecting them to be absolutely beautiful when you're not even close is unrealistic and hypocritical.

    I could list a ton of other things but this post is already pretty big and really it's all going to boil down to find the right group of nice people and work on yourself more. Find your own motivations and interests and try to be happy by yourself before relying on someone else for it.
    wow stalking my threads lol

    when I said about letting hot refugees in I was obviously joking also as you have had people bet about dancing with you you must know how hurtful and humiliating it is. Secondly when I said they can be *****y I meant certain women. Say for example I was talking to these two women at this pub and they kept pulling really *****y expressions and not even replying to my questions. They weren't even attractive and I wasn't even trying to chat them up merely make polite conversation they wouldn't even acknowledge me.
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    This kind of explains my situation

    https://www.facebook.com/tony.t.hubb...04597973490284
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    (Original post by alexeiR)
    Sex wise, men are actually a lot less picky in my experience.
    Guess you've experienced a lot of men then lol
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    (Original post by Little Popcorns)
    Yeah well you can keep betting that he's a nice person but it was he who a while back asked if girls actually wouldn't mind being sexually assaulted... As in oh baby please don't let me give you person, rape. He wasn't joking.
    I wasn't betting that he's a nice person. He probably isn't. He's probably a ********. But I know literally dozens of ********s who get laid (so I said I bet that's not why he can't get a girl)

    Telling him to become a better person is good advice in general but not good enough for what he wants. He won't be attractive because he's a better person. And when he realises that, he will become more bitter and more resentful towards women. "Woah, she said be a better person and you'll find someone and I haven't. Clearly, women are lying hyenas" (or smth)
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    (Original post by ChickenMadness)
    Guess you've experienced a lot of men then lol
    Not a huge amount, but enough.
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    sad times

    might as well start purchasing the first of your many cats
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    (Original post by LeCapitalist)
    I wasn't betting that he's a nice person. He probably isn't. He's probably a ********. But I know literally dozens of ********s who get laid (so I said I bet that's not why he can't get a girl)

    Telling him to become a better person is good advice in general but not good enough for what he wants. He won't be attractive because he's a better person. And when he realises that, he will become more bitter and more resentful towards women. "Woah, she said be a better person and you'll find someone and I haven't. Clearly, women are lying hyenas" (or smth)
    This is absolute nonsense...

    Firstly I'm not buying into his sob story of his dried up shrivelled penis. So what... I will not give him tips on how to get sex that is a pursuit that he would only realise is a lonely one anyway.

    In terms of actually getting girls to genuinely like you and maybe consider you as a potential partner I whole heartedly stand by what I advised, no girl wants to be humped and dumped by a guy she likes. As soon as she realises he's a **** even if she has sex with him intrinsically she does not like him as a person - as this guy makes her insecure and unhappy. This is why I will not give this guy tips on how to be a **** and get laid because it's selfish and in the long run doesn't do anyone any favours because even he will come to a point where he wants something long term and won't know how to genuinely be a good partner without using seedy manipulation tactics... Which by the way is a complete turn off.
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    (Original post by Little Popcorns)
    This is absolute nonsense...

    Firstly I'm not buying into his sob story of his dried up shrivelled penis. So what... I will not give him tips on how to get sex that is a pursuit that he would only realise is a lonely one anyway.

    In terms of actually getting girls to genuinely like you and maybe consider you as a potential partner I whole heartedly stand by what I advised, no girl wants to be humped and dumped by a guy she likes. As soon as she realises he's a **** even if she has sex with him intrinsically she does not like him as a person - as this guy makes her insecure and unhappy. This is why I will not give this guy tips on how to be a **** and get laid because it's selfish and in the long run doesn't do anyone any favours because even he will come to a point where he wants something long term and won't know how to genuinely be a good partner without using seedy manipulation tactics... Which by the way is a complete turn off.
    erm I didn't say I only wanted to get laid if you look at my original post I mentioned girlfriend. Also my penis only gets shrivelled when it's cold.
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    (Original post by karl pilkington)
    erm I didn't say I only wanted to get laid if you look at my original post I mentioned girlfriend. Also my penis only gets shrivelled when it's cold.
    Right well then take my original advice
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    (Original post by Little Popcorns)
    This is absolute nonsense...

    Firstly I'm not buying into his sob story of his dried up shrivelled penis. So what... I will not give him tips on how to get sex that is a pursuit that he would only realise is a lonely one anyway.

    In terms of actually getting girls to genuinely like you and maybe consider you as a potential partner I whole heartedly stand by what I advised, no girl wants to be humped and dumped by a guy she likes. As soon as she realises he's a **** even if she has sex with him intrinsically she does not like him as a person - as this guy makes her insecure and unhappy. This is why I will not give this guy tips on how to be a **** and get laid because it's selfish and in the long run doesn't do anyone any favours because even he will come to a point where he wants something long term and won't know how to genuinely be a good partner without using seedy manipulation tactics... Which by the way is a complete turn off.
    It is possible to do casual sex without being a horrible person though?
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    Also I only dislike a certain type of women I still love my sister, cousins and my niece. However most women won't speak to you/acknowledge you in the real even to be friends if they don't fancy you even if I am actually more attractive them then. Some have this weird complex that they deserve only tall good looking men even if they themselves are ugly. Also I don't have a sense of entitlement I accept women have the choice of who they sleep with/ forge relationships with. I merely expect to be treated with respect and dignity.
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    (Original post by ChaoticButterfly)
    It is possible to do casual sex without being a horrible person though?
    Yes of course, as long as both parties are consensual and happy about it being a strictly casual engagement then neither person is morally corrupt.
 
 
 
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