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    (Original post by ripjonsnow)
    1. Op chose to drink, at the legal age to drink, age shouldnt be a factor when communicating with people.

    2. As I mentioned, she clearly consented in the morning. Just because she felt like she had to do something didnt mean she had to.

    3. Im scarred to approach women because of girls like you, screaming rape at the slightest chance you feel uncomfortable.


    4. Kept refusing is quite vague. How did she refuse and how many times? How did he exactly say he wants to have sex again, did he say "Get your pants down and lets do it again NOW"...I doubt he did.
    While your points are valid, it still doesn't excuse what a dip **** the guy was.

    I guess we really do have only enough blood to power one brain at a time.
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    (Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes)
    He was 10 years older and a stranger so...doesn't make the situation any better.
    His age and the fact he was a stranger are completely irrelevant. When people go home with someone from a club, it is almost always with a stranger, and no one cares how old they are.

    Your attempts to equate the incident in the OP with someone getting raped in an alley way fails because in this case she went home with him, the man didn't just come up to her and have sex with her.

    Yes people don't ask for permission, but there is a difference between someone is stating that they want to do it again and not stopping even if the person refuses (which is what happened) and then there is someone who wants to do it again and doesn't carry on (that didn't happen). The first one would be classified as a rape, that did happen.
    What OP says happened: "He wanted to do it "again" in the morning but I kept refusing but he still tried and again I told him to put the condom on"
    What you say happened: "[he] not stopping even if the person refuses (which is what happened)"

    These are not the same things. To me it sounds like he tried to convince her, she refused, then she eventually relented and "told him to put the condom on". That's a grey area, yes, but if that is rape then many many incidents of sex every day are rape also.
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    (Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes)
    No she didn't consent. Read it again.


    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I feel like I couldn't push him away though because I was smoking his cigarettes and staying at his house so it was essentially my fault for getting that drunk in the first place. mistakes things.
    She told him to put a condom on in the morning. If OP was really raped, and felt like she was raped, she would have went to the police, instead of finding a valid reason to have accidently cheated on her boyfriend.

    Edit: I made a reading mistake so corrected it

    Thanks.
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    (Original post by donutellme)
    While your points are valid, it still doesn't excuse what a dip **** the guy was.

    I guess we really do have only enough blood to power one brain at a time.
    Yes, I hate men like that who fuel the feminst arguments.
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    (Original post by ripjonsnow)
    Agreed, but I believe OP should stick to it being a drunken mistake. Because its exactly that.
    IF she did not drink she would not have been there.
    Even if she was there I doubt she would have went near the alleged rapist.
    If she went near him, I HIGHLY doubt she would have intercourse with him.

    But. OP chose to drink. As an adult, she should be aware of the dangers of drinking too much.
    I think that's a bit of an iffy argument. Does anyone going to Brixton deserve to get murdered? (Sorry Brixton)
    (Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes)
    Yes she wasn't sober enough to consent at night (which means no proper consent). She was sober in the morning and didn't consent but he carried on anyway. .
    How long was the sex after the drinking? I don't think anyone's going to claim you can consent right after a litre of alcohol, but it's possible to have capacity 12 hours later, for example. Also, he may have been drunk himself.

    As to the morning sex, he didn't carry on anyway. He asked multiple times, and she felt comfortable saying no. No real solid reasons have been given re what made her change her mind, other than persistence and the fact she was smoking his cigarettes.

    (Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes)
    How is it contradictory? He wasn't asking permission but simply stating he wanted to do it again, which OP refused, then he carried on. That isn't asking for permission.

    Yes people don't ask for permission, but there is a difference between someone is stating that they want to do it again and not stopping even if the person refuses (which is what happened) and then there is someone who wants to do it again and doesn't carry on (that didn't happen). The first one would be classified as a rape, that did happen.
    He carried on asking, he didn't carry on with the act itself. Asking for sex isn't a crime (other than maybe sexual harassment) providing there's no clear or implied threat, even if the manner in which he did it is unpleasant.
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    (Original post by JoeTSR)
    I think that's a bit of an iffy argument. Does anyone going to Brixton deserve to get murdered? (Sorry Brixton)
    No but when you are walking on the side walk and you see a group of youths on BMXs and hoodies crowding on one side of the road, you dont walk through them do you? You cross the road.

    EDIT: Thats abit of an iffy point. Most people dont get murdered for little to no reason.
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    (Original post by ripjonsnow)
    1. Op chose to drink, at the legal age to drink, age shouldnt be a factor when communicating with people.

    2. As I mentioned, she clearly consented in the morning. Just because she felt like she had to do something didnt mean she had to.

    3. Im scarred to approach women because of girls like you, screaming rape at the slightest chance you feel uncomfortable.


    4. Kept refusing is quite vague. How did she refuse and how many times? How did he exactly say he wants to have sex again, did he say "Get your pants down and lets do it again NOW"...I doubt he did.

    I'm not screaming rape, but for anyone to think that is a normal situation is absurd. He wanted to do it again, that is all we know, she refused and told him to put a condom on (for obvious reasons) and went along with iT anyway. That isn't consent.


    I'm actually tired of typing the same thing out repetitively. For anyone to think this just a normal every day occurrence, it's just sex with regrets is disgusting. She didn't want too, which was made clear in the morning.
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    (Original post by JoeTSR)
    I think that's a bit of an iffy argument. Does anyone going to Brixton deserve to get murdered? (Sorry Brixton)
    They don't deserve to get murdered, but like it or not, there's probably gonna be an extra hole somewhere on them.
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    (Original post by JoeTSR)
    I think that's a bit of an iffy argument. Does anyone going to Brixton deserve to get murdered? (Sorry Brixton)

    How long was the sex after the drinking? I don't think anyone's going to claim you can consent right after a litre of alcohol, but it's possible to have capacity 12 hours later, for example. Also, he may have been drunk himself.

    As to the morning sex, he didn't carry on anyway. He asked multiple times, and she felt comfortable saying no. No real solid reasons have been given re what made her change her mind, other than persistence and the fact she was smoking his cigarettes.


    He carried on asking, he didn't carry on with the act itself. Asking for sex isn't a crime (other than maybe sexual harassment) providing there's no clear or implied threat, even if the manner in which he did it is unpleasant.
    He did carry on.
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    (Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes)
    1. I'm not screaming rape, but for anyone to think that is a normal situation is absurd. He wanted to do it again, that is all we know, she refused and told him to put a condom on (for obvious reasons) and went along with iT anyway. That isn't consent.


    2. I'm actually tired of typing the same thing out repetitively. For anyone to think this just a normal every day occurrence, it's just sex with regrets is disgusting. She didn't want too, which was made clear in the morning.
    1. yes you are, you clearly said before that OP has been raped.
    EDIT: Here
    "
    She cried, he didn't stop. That doesn't sound like rape to you? That just sounds like a silly little regret filled drunken mistake? Really???
    "

    2. You should be tired of typing a one sided biased point. There;s a difference between not wanting to do something, doing it, and regretting it.
    From what OP wrote, she is clearly regretting.
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    (Original post by donutellme)
    Scars you for life. Destroys you mentally. Makes you suicidal. Instills fear and insecurity in future relationships...

    Have a guess which one I'm referring to.

    Murder isn't it.
    Rape = crime

    Murder = crime

    Cheating= not a crime.

    Big difference!
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    (Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes)
    I'm not screaming rape, but for anyone to think that is a normal situation is absurd. He wanted to do it again, that is all we know, she refused and told him to put a condom on (for obvious reasons) and went along with iT anyway. That isn't consent.


    I'm actually tired of typing the same thing out repetitively. For anyone to think this just a normal every day occurrence, it's just sex with regrets is disgusting. She didn't want too, which was made clear in the morning.
    That IS consent?

    She relented didn't she?

    I'm not defending the guy at all. He's an ass. But the girl should not have relented, but just got up and left.

    She essentially said "uh fine we can have sex". She may not have wanted to, but she gave permission.
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    Why get so stupidly drunk? Takes two to tango
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    (Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes)
    He did carry on.
    He wanted to do it "again" in the morning but I kept refusing but he still tried
    Not after the first time, not after the second time (we don't know how many times). He carried on asking. As far as we know ("he still tried" is open to interpretation) he didn't do anything beyond that until she agreed.
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    (Original post by ripjonsnow)
    1. yes you are, you clearly said before that OP has been raped.

    2. You should be tired of typing a one sided biased point. There;s a difference between not wanting to do something, doing it, and regretting it.
    From what OP wrote, she is clearly regretting.
    I'm not "screaming" rape, from what I read that is my answer to OP's question. How am I screaming rape?

    So tired. Good bye. It's not all biased, have another read. I said the night is blurry, but the morning clearly wasn't consensual (although you seem think it was. )

    bye.
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    (Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes)
    Rape = crime

    Murder = crime

    Cheating= not a crime.

    Big difference!
    It should be.

    The legal definition is trivial to compare things by. Impact is the only thing that matters.
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    (Original post by donutellme)
    That IS consent?

    She relented didn't she?

    I'm not defending the guy at all. He's an ass. But the girl should not have relented, but just got up and left.

    She essentially said "uh fine we can have sex". She may not have wanted to, but she gave permission.
    This, Im not defending the guy either.
    Listen to this guy, he is smart.
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    (Original post by ArabianPhoenix)
    Why get so stupidly drunk? Takes two to tango
    Getting drunk ≠ consenting to sex or being at fault for getting raped.
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    (Original post by donutellme)
    That IS consent?

    She relented didn't she?

    I'm not defending the guy at all. He's an ass. But the girl should not have relented, but just got up and left.

    She essentially said "uh fine we can have sex". She may not have wanted to, but she gave permission.
    Under the circumstances that wouldn't be consent.

    Anyway I'm not talking about this anymore. bye.
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    (Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes)
    I'm not "screaming" rape, from what I read that is my answer to OP's question. How am I screaming rape?

    So tired. Good bye. It's not all biased, have another read. I said the night is blurry, but the morning clearly wasn't consensual (although you seem think it was. )

    bye.
    I edited that comment with a snippet of what you wrote earlier from an extendedly long paragraph. That was the summary of it.
 
 
 
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