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Anyone here not actually love their mother? watch

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    (Original post by Eva.Gregoria)
    Probably. Only now that I've actually admitted it out loud. I felt so horrible even saying it but the truth is the mother daughter bond is not always there.
    You should not feel horrible saying that. Society has this idea integrated into everyone's mind that you should 'always' love family, regardless of apparently anything. You do not owe your mother, or anyone for that matter, any love unless they deserve it. If your mum happens to have been supportive and loving etc, then that's great and I don't see any reason not to have a great relationship. However, if she has been unpleasant towards you then you are more than entitled to not love her. She doesn't get any special privileges or excuses to be unpleasant towards you and still have you love her, based off the fact that she's your mother. A lot of people seem to get angry about having this questioned and will say things like "she gave birth to you, you should love her", but the fact is you never asked to be born nor did anyone else. Some people will just say it's "not right" without any justification at all. Please, go by how you truly feel and not by how people say how you 'should' feel.
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    (Original post by Listers)
    Well no one is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes down the line.

    Some bigger than the other. I know it sounds difficult but it's the proper thing to do. Yes the parent was in the wrong, but what do you gain from storing hate in your heart because of things that happened in the past to you.

    God says forgive, forget and move on.
    Don't be pushing on anyone your ideology of proper, m'kay? (Hang on, sounds like religion here)
    We'd have a world full of murderers (oh, sorry, sinners) with a blind and twisted hope for redemption.

    Hang on, brb, I'm just going to tell that lady whose son was murdered that she should forgive the person who butchered her only boy. Cos, y'know, it is the proper thing to do.
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    I hate my mom, and don't even bother speaking to her anymore. She's an absolute waste of space.
    • #6
    #6

    (Original post by Listers)
    Well no one is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes down the line.

    Some bigger than the other. I know it sounds difficult but it's the proper thing to do. Yes the parent was in the wrong, but what do you gain from storing hate in your heart because of things that happened in the past to you.

    God says forgive, forget and move on.
    Its easy for you to say that since you haven't experienced abuse and rejection from those who are supposed to love you and cherish you particularly in your childhood.I know what it is like to be idealistic especially in religion and advocate for forgiveness even in the most extreme situations so im not mad at you dont know what it is. However you dont know what it is like to be scarred by those who you put your ultimate trust in and it is this that has caused me to question my own religion.
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    (Original post by Ultimage)
    Don't be pushing on anyone your ideology of proper, m'kay? (Hang on, sounds like religion here)
    We'd have a world full of murderers (oh, sorry, sinners) with a blind and twisted hope for redemption.

    Hang on, brb, I'm just going to tell that lady whose son was murdered that she should forgive the person who butchered her only boy. Cos, y'know, it is the proper thing to do.


    It is the proper thing to do. What do you want to do, go back and murder their own child, rather than forgive them and move on with your life?

    Mins you that putting the perpetrator in prison or some form of punishment like giving them the death penalty even after forgiving them is Biblical
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    (Original post by auroraborealice)
    Same here Let me point out to all the people overreacting and saying that its disrespectful, that not loving your mother and hating her are not the same thing. I may not love my mother but I still respect her somewhat and I'm still grateful that I did have a family to take care of me, feed me, take me to school because I know that some people aren't as lucky. But it takes a lot more than that to deserve love
    I think what a lot of people don't realise is that you earn respect. You don't demand it. If you do, then all you get is resentment and hatred.
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    (Original post by Listers)
    It is the proper thing to do. What do you want to do, go back and murder their own child, rather than forgive them and move on with your life?

    Mins you that putting the perpetrator in prison or some form of punishment like giving them the death penalty even after forgiving them is Biblical

    You don't make sense.

    By the way, it is not the proper thing to do. It only consists of one religious, borderline fanatical way of dealing with things. FYI, the religious way =/= the correct way to do things. Thankfully, we have a wider spectrum than just religious people nowadays.

    You have absolutely zero right to impose your ideology of 'proper' on anyone, because you have not experienced the cruelest hardships that exist in this world. Your comment is so overwhelmingly naïve it is mind boggling.
    Come back to me when you have personally experienced every single tragedy in existence, tell me you've forgiven every single perpetrator, and I shall gladly admit I am wrong.
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    (Original post by Ultimage)
    You don't make sense.

    By the way, it is not the proper thing to do. It only consists of one religious, borderline fanatical way of dealing with things. FYI, the religious way =/= the correct way to do things. Thankfully, we have a wider spectrum than just religious people nowadays.

    You have absolutely zero right to impose your ideology of 'proper' on anyone, because you have not experienced the cruelest hardships that exist in this world. Your comment is so overwhelmingly naïve it is mind boggling.
    Come back to me when you have personally experienced every single tragedy in existence, tell me you've forgiven every single perpetrator, and I shall gladly admit I am wrong.


    Well that's your own problem. If you choose to walk around storing hate for someone because they have wronged you in some way then be my guess, do what you want. I have a functioning Brain and it tells me that there's no point in hating someone forever, and your point about how I should go through every form of tragedy before I can comment on it shows how narrow minded you are.
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    (Original post by Listers)
    Well that's your own problem. If you choose to walk around storing hate for someone because they have wronged you in some way then be my guess, do what you want. I have a functioning Brain and it tells me that there's no point in hating someone forever, and your point about how I should go through every form of tragedy before I can comment on it shows how narrow minded you are.
    Despite how ignorant, stubborn and frankly dangerous people like you are (from looking at all you've said), the sheer irony of this post gave me quite a chuckle...
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    (Original post by jshark97)
    Despite how ignorant, stubborn and frankly dangerous people like you are (from looking at all you've said), the sheer irony of this post gave me quite a chuckle...


    I'm not the one storing hate in my heart till i reach my grave.
    • #5
    #5

    (Original post by Listers)
    Well that's your own problem. If you choose to walk around storing hate for someone because they have wronged you in some way then be my guess, do what you want. I have a functioning Brain and it tells me that there's no point in hating someone forever, and your point about how I should go through every form of tragedy before I can comment on it shows how narrow minded you are.
    Since when is rejecting religion being narrow minded? It's not. You just seem like a do gooder who blindly follows the Bible and its belief on forgiveness which is BS. Non religious people actually live with their guilt because that's what normal people do.
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    (Original post by Listers)
    Well that's your own problem. If you choose to walk around storing hate for someone because they have wronged you in some way then be my guess, do what you want. I have a functioning Brain and it tells me that there's no point in hating someone forever, and your point about how I should go through every form of tragedy before I can comment on it shows how narrow minded you are.
    M'kay.

    On the contrary, you seem the more narrow minded since you blindly follow the ideology of your religion; 'God would want me too…' 'God would do…' and the classic, 'what would Jesus do?'
    You seem more like a member of a flock, 'functioning brain' aside.

    You obviously do not understand the scope of your previous statement so I shall argue with you no longer. Go follow your Shepard.
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    (Original post by Ultimage)
    M'kay.

    On the contrary, you seem the more narrow minded since you blindly follow the ideology of your religion; 'God would want me too…' 'God would do…' and the classic, 'what would Jesus do?'
    You seem more like a member of a flock, 'functioning brain' aside.

    You obviously do not understand the scope of your previous statement so I shall argue with you no longer. Go follow your Shepard.


    Go live your life and I'll live mine.
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    My Mother was like my best friend. I miss her deeply.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Since when is rejecting religion being narrow minded? It's not. You just seem like a do gooder who blindly follows the Bible and its belief on forgiveness which is BS. Non religious people actually live with their guilt because that's what normal people do.


    That's a crazy stupid idiotic lie.

    I shutter to phantom what you call normal
    • #5
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    (Original post by Listers)
    That's a crazy stupid idiotic lie.

    I shutter to phantom what you call normal
    I pity your ignorance way more to be honest.
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    (Original post by Listers)
    I'm not the one storing hate in my heart till i reach my grave.
    Who ever mentioned burdening hate?
    As someone who grew up with both parents being abusive,
    If I dont hate them am I supposed to have meaningless conversation and form a relationship? Or can I simply choose both to forgive but also to distance and not sorround myself with hateful and unhealthy behaviour.
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    (Original post by Listers)
    I'm not the one storing hate in my heart till i reach my grave.
    (Original post by Listers)
    Well no one is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes down the line.Some bigger than the other. I know it sounds difficult but it's the proper thing to do. Yes the parent was in the wrong, but what do you gain from storing hate in your heart because of things that happened in the past to you.God says forgive, forget and move on.
    Excuse me a second - who are you to be acting all holier-than-thou as if you've never harboured resentment for anyone in your life? We've all done it to some extent, but this is exactly what I mean when I say that nobody should try to implement their values on other people who have had different experiences. It's all very well that you're a Christian and seem to believe you're superior to people who, quite rightly, resent their parents who have done them wrong, but no one is obliged to believe in the same values as you, and it is absolutely NOT your place to be preaching to people about how they should handle their abusive situations. Nobody is obliged to forgive anyone for making their life a misery even if they share the same DNA, and urging an abuse survivor to forgive when they're not ready (and some may never be ready) disregards and invalidates their feelings completely.

    TLDR: Mind your own damn business, and keep religion out of the argument.
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    Stop. YOU are the narrow minded one here, your blindly following a religion, and acting like your holier than Jesus! Calm down.
    Don't be a hypocrite.

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    (Original post by Listers)
    The act of giving life to you and not aborting you and turning your conception into an abortion statistic isn't anything?

    WOW. People these days.


    The case of your dad is, if he wasn't a part of your life then you have no reason to either love them or hate them, you can't decide on that because you don't know him. What I was talking about are parents you live with that seem to be very strict, very abusive and very unpleasant. Some parents are like that, some teachers are like that and some friends are like that, but that doesn't mean they can't change and turn into better human beings, like i said. My mother 3 years ago was probably 3 times as bad as the OP's mother, but I loved her then and still love her now.


    The point was that Children aren't just supposed to sit on their a*ss and expect their parents to do everything for them, there are some times when they need you just as much as you need them and you as a child have to show them that support
    Answer me this question. Should the child born from a surrogate mother love her unonditionally? According to your logic, she also carried the child in her for 9 months and gave birth to the child. Therefore the child is responsible for loving this strange woman regardless. Isn't it?
 
 
 
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