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Help, Bf wants me to wear a bikini Watch

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    (Original post by samantham999)
    Abusive relationship? I'm sorry, did the girl physically or mentally abuse you?
    people think its always the guy doing it to the girl but it can happen to men too
    Emotional abuse.

    Yeah that's a crock of ****. Women are evil.
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    (Original post by AlexFam)
    Emotional abuse.

    Yeah that's a crock of ****. Women are evil.
    wow that sucks. can you elaborate if you dont mind? she's an idiot
    if she had these hated feelings for you then she should have just left and never abused it
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    please just ditch him i beg you
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    (Original post by samantham999)
    wow that sucks. can you elaborate if you dont mind? she's an idiot
    if she had these hated feelings for you then she should have just left and never abused it
    It doesn't matter too much to me anymore. I've learnt what not to do and I'm honestly a lot more confident and happy with myself after learning so much about myself.
    Spoiler:
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    She has BPD. Stuff like publicly shaming me and laughing at me, insulting me in front of our friends, asking for more and more sacrifices from me until I was a husk of a man supposed to live for her, using past relationships constantly to make me jealous, self harm to make me not want to leave her, promising marriage, children etc. just to days later say she doesn't love me, followed by literally 1 day later saying she does and talking about how sad she is and how she misses me. She did that for about a month after breaking it off with me, constantly flipping on me.
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    (Original post by AlexFam)
    It doesn't matter too much to me anymore. I've learnt what not to do and I'm honestly a lot more confident and happy with myself after learning so much about myself.
    Spoiler:
    Show
    She has BPD. Stuff like publicly shaming me and laughing at me, insulting me in front of our friends, asking for more and more sacrifices from me until I was a husk of a man supposed to live for her, using past relationships constantly to make me jealous, self harm to make me not want to leave her, promising marriage, children etc. just to days later say she doesn't love me, followed by literally 1 day later saying she does and talking about how sad she is and how she misses me. She did that for about a month after breaking it off with me, constantly flipping on me.
    do you still have feelings for her?
    good for you. make sure your happy
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    (Original post by samantham999)
    do you still have feelings for her?
    good for you. make sure your happy
    I'm still working off the resentment and trying to forgive her. I've been staying away from relationships until I was comfortable in my own skin first. Thank you, btw. You're a lot nicer than I thought from your other posts.
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    (Original post by AlexFam)
    I'm still working off the resentment and trying to forgive her. I've been staying away from relationships until I was comfortable in my own skin first. Thank you, btw. You're a lot nicer than I thought from your other posts.
    Lool, I am nice we just have conflicting views
    People who add no value in your life need to go in the bin
    Honestly, you will lose out on life if you let people treat you bad
    Have fun, i assume you're young? so be careful and atleast you have this experience to grow and learn
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    (Original post by samantham999)
    Lool, I am nice we just have conflicting views
    People who add no value in your life need to go in the bin
    Honestly, you will lose out on life if you let people treat you bad
    Have fun, i assume you're young? so be careful and atleast you have this experience to grow and learn
    Yes I'm 18 lmao. I've learnt a lot, don't worry about that. I know exactly what I'll be getting into in the future and what to avoid.
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    (Original post by samantham999)
    Lool, I am nice we just have conflicting views
    People who add no value in your life need to go in the bin
    Honestly, you will lose out on life if you let people treat you bad
    Have fun, i assume you're young? so be careful and atleast you have this experience to grow and learn
    Are you against premarital sex?
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    (Original post by AlexFam)
    Are you against premarital sex?
    I believe people can do what they wish but yes I kind am against pre-marital sex
    I just think you should wait before being heavily intimate
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    (Original post by samantham999)
    I believe people can do what they wish but yes I kind am against pre-marital sex
    I just think you should wait before being heavily intimate
    I can see that and respect that. I used to heavily romanticise sex, and wanted to wait. Thought I found someone, then lost my virginity. I guess I lost that romanticism after thinking I ruined my first time emotionally (certainly not in performance, wahey).

    I just realised I still see myself as ruined. Damn, I definitely need to work on that. Good choice on your part.
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    (Original post by AlexFam)
    I can see that and respect that. I used to heavily romanticise sex, and wanted to wait. Thought I found someone, then lost my virginity. I guess I lost that romanticism after thinking I ruined my first time emotionally (certainly not in performance, wahey).

    I just realised I still see myself as ruined. Damn, I definitely need to work on that. Good choice on your part.
    You're not ruined because you have had sex even if people like me are against pre-martial sex

    just maybe wait until marriage this time? you'll be very much in love with your girlfriend and know her properly

    we all make mistakes but virginity doesn't equal honour but rather that a virgin is pure and innocent because he/she has never been intimate thats it so you're not ruined
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    (Original post by samantham999)
    You're not ruined because you have had sex even if people like me are against pre-martial sex

    just maybe wait until marriage this time? you'll be very much in love with your girlfriend and know her properly

    we all make mistakes but virginity doesn't equal honour but rather that a virgin is pure and innocent because he/she has never been intimate thats it so you're not ruined
    Oh I know that ostensibly. It's more of a feeling of inadequacy.

    I'm not going to be able to wait until marriage. Like I said, my libido is in full swing.
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    (Original post by IronicalMan)
    Funny, because that's the only reason human beings still exist.
    What's so **** about wanting kids, love and marriage lmao.
    Interesting how you didn't deny the sloot part.
    Probably just as well you don't want it really.

    Also, I think you'll find women do have a say in their relationships/marriages.
    Some even more than the man.
    Human beings would still exist without marriage and long term love. In fact that's what humans are made to do - sleep around. Men sleep around to spread their seed before maybe settling down/providing for family and women, being a little pickier, sleep with just men they deem suitable to provide for a family/or settle down. Society and religion created the no sex before marriage trend. Sloot was just a word used to insult women to try to control them. Times have moved on now, many women brag about sleeping with the fittest man to their friends
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    (Original post by indigofox)
    Human beings would still exist without marriage and long term love. In fact that's what humans are made to do - sleep around. Men sleep around to spread their seed before maybe settling down/providing for family and women, being a little pickier, sleep with just men they deem suitable to provide for a family/or settle down. Society and religion created the no sex before marriage trend. Sloot was just a word used to insult women to try to control them. Times have moved on now, many women brag about sleeping with the fittest man to their friends
    You keep justifying being a sloot and expecting the tax payer to pay for your ways or children, or some bloke who aint the father.
    It's a wonderful world.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    please just ditch him i beg you
    You like the idea of saying this, but you actually have no idea why.
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    both of you wear matching bikinis
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    No-one has yet to address the direct analogy:

    "We are going to a formal dinner. My boyfriend wants me to wear a cocktail dress, but I feel much more comfortable in a shirt and trousers"

    In this example - is the boyfriend trying to suggest that she wears something that he wants her to? Is it ok?
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    (Original post by IronicalMan)
    You keep justifying being a sloot and expecting the tax payer to pay for your ways or children, or some bloke who aint the father.
    It's a wonderful world.
    I agree, be sure to tell the slutty men this too though. Its not a justification for the outcomes you have stated, it is just important to bear in mind that certain behaviours are natural but still need to be managed (using protection,sti tests) in our society.
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    (Original post by Trinculo)
    No-one has yet to address the direct analogy:

    "We are going to a formal dinner. My boyfriend wants me to wear a cocktail dress, but I feel much more comfortable in a shirt and trousers"

    In this example - is the boyfriend trying to suggest that she wears something that he wants her to? Is it ok?
    At a formal dinner, it would be expected that the woman wears a dress, not trousers.It is the social convention- the man should wear a suit and the woman should wear a dress.
 
 
 
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