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    (Original post by jake-1996)
    I didn't say he tried to help, I said he tried to force drugs on her
    "Do you want some coke it'll make you feel better" isn't really forcing it.

    But again, why if he's so terrible did they pick him over you? You haven't answered this yet, what makes you so awful that they'd pick him over you?
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    (Original post by ToussJ)
    Again, cocaine has been recorded as an effective antidepressant, and there are other ways but why do you assume he knows those other ways? Did you teach him them?
    No but it's common sense not to offer drugs to someone who is vulnerable and he could easily have just sat and talked with her for a while instead of trying to give her drugs
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    (Original post by Tubbz)
    "Do you want some coke it'll make you feel better" isn't really forcing it.

    But again, why if he's so terrible did they pick him over you? You haven't answered this yet, what makes you so awful that they'd pick him over you?
    He didn't sat that, he kept trying to push it onto her. And I don't know why they chose him. I'm not awful at all and they don't think so.
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    Just report his use to your landlord.
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    (Original post by jake-1996)
    He didn't sat that, he kept trying to push it onto her. And I don't know why they chose him. I'm not awful at all and they don't think so.
    They must do or they'd have picked you over him. He MUST be more likeable than you, because they'd rather have him in the house than you.

    For all his short comings, you must be a truly awful person in comparison if your only friends at university, even your best friend, would leave you with nowhere to turn, when he has so many options, and side with him.

    Logically, you must be a worse option than him.
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    If he has broken stuff then I do feel for you but at the same time your housemates have made the decision so I guess either try and move out or put up with it for the last year of your course.
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    (Original post by Tubbz)
    "Do you want some coke it'll make you feel better" isn't really forcing it.

    But again, why if he's so terrible did they pick him over you? You haven't answered this yet, what makes you so awful that they'd pick him over you?
    Probably because he's willing to share his drugs. If he feels comfortable enough to start smashing lines of coke in the living room in front of everyone, then they obviously accept his behaviour and probably have the odd dabble themselves.
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    I asked my best friend why she didn't want to live with me and she said it's because you shouldn't live with your best friends because the friendship will get ruined which is complete rubbish
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    (Original post by jake-1996)
    I asked my best friend why she didn't want to live with me and she said it's because you shouldn't live with your best friends because the friendship will get ruined which is complete rubbish
    Yeah bit grim she's that prepared to lie to your face. You must really wind people up and not realise you're doing it.
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    (Original post by jake-1996)
    I'm in my second year of uni and there are 6 of us sharing a house. Originally it was only supposed to be 5 but someone joined last minute because he didn't have anywhere else to go. I didn't want this to happen but there was nothing I could do about it. Anyway me and this other guy don't get on well and since the house has started talking about living arrangements for next year, I have said I't best if me and that guy don't live together. All of the other house including my so called best friend said they want to live with him and I am left on my own which means I will need to commute from home next year since there is no one else I can live with. My best friend said it'll be ok since she will make the effort to visit me but I don't think that makes up for the fact they're practically kicking me out on my own. Do I have a right to be angry and upset with my housemates?
    Yeah you have every right to be angry and upset with your housemates. But it will be much more productive if you start looking for alternate accommodations. Don't waste your energy by being angry with your friends instead channel that energy to find a viable solution. All the best!
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    (Original post by jake-1996)
    I'm in my second year of uni and there are 6 of us sharing a house. Originally it was only supposed to be 5 but someone joined last minute because he didn't have anywhere else to go. I didn't want this to happen but there was nothing I could do about it. Anyway me and this other guy don't get on well and since the house has started talking about living arrangements for next year, I have said I't best if me and that guy don't live together. All of the other house including my so called best friend said they want to live with him and I am left on my own which means I will need to commute from home next year since there is no one else I can live with. My best friend said it'll be ok since she will make the effort to visit me but I don't think that makes up for the fact they're practically kicking me out on my own. Do I have a right to be angry and upset with my housemates?
    First thing's first: friends either come in your life for a reason or a short, cold season. And there ain't nothing wrong with that, you just have to grow up about the whole situation that is called "life".

    If his habitual drug taking goes against your ethics and moral code (and it does mine), then I suggest you either A) report him to the police as he is breaking the law. I mean how are your flatmates not concerned that all of you can be charged with drug posession if it's on your property. If he does take cocaine and etc, then maybe report this to your landlord or agency and if they do find evidence of this then an investigation would ensue and he'd probably be kicked out. However, of course this may lead to your flatmates not liking you, but it seems that's already the case. Uni is not a place where it's acceptable to break the law just because you're a "uni student". In fact, it's a time in many young people's lives to show them that they can't go around doing what the hell they want and not suffer the consequences. I know it seems like you're throwing him under the bus but he should NOT be doing coke in your house and anyone who bloody disagrees is just stupid.

    However, you have skinned of your nose just to spite your face by issuing an ultimatum. An ultimatum never works in friendships, career, relationships, divorce settlements, etc. They just never work. Now that your way hasn't gone your way, you're sulking at the fact that your milk has been spilt. You should have approached it differently but there is no point in going over what you should've done.

    What you now need to do is try to rectify it by offering a solution. It sounds like both of you are childish and have not seemed to draw out a conclusion. He sounds more childish than you and I think if the people you are living with can't seem to think a) his drug taking is not ok b) him *****ing about you is ok and c) him breaking yourself and not reimburse you for it is ok then I'm sure they are not the housemates you really want to be living with. His behaviour is clearly unacceptable to most students and he clearly does not respect your property, your boundaries or his own space either. I think you should sit the house down again and start up with all your concerns such and treat them all like class children. For example "if I broke one of your personal item like hair dryer or toaster you brought from home, would you not want money from me to reimburse you" or "how would you feel if i constantly used your items and never seemed to replace them or wash them up?" you need to impose such questions and lead on from that and ask them how they would feel or what they would do if they were in your shoes.

    Try and come to a negotiation in terms of "if you use my stuff, tell me beforehand so i know what to expect" or l"if you use my stuff please make sure it's ready for me to use by 4pm" or whatnot. For the cocaine and drugs I would literally bring up the contract and say "you do realise by doing this we are all breaking the law and could be fined, cautioned or charged and have a criminal record and although I appreciate your lifestyle is very dissimilar to mine, it is not appropriate for you to be doing such things whilst jeopardizing the rest of us" etc etc. You need to lay down the law with all them and make sure you are the ring leader in the talk and not let the guy spin it around on you. Cause tbf, he sounds very twisted and manipulative in all honesty.

    Try and work out your differences as everyone says, you will never go through this world and meet people you'll get on with. But if you can find ways to work around them rather than just ignoring the issue or throwing ultimatums (they're basically threats) then it should be fine. A lot of teething problems to come, but hopefully it will all be worth it.

    PS: Some of the previous posters are just trolls trying to bait you - don't feel the need to reply to all of them.

    But try and get this sorted and if it isn't - find alternative ways to live and not just think it's "either this house or back home" they will be plenty of advice that you can seek from your student accommodation and union if do end up living elsewhere.

    Good luck and I am keen to know what happens over the near future!
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    (Original post by The Empire Odyssey)
    First thing's first: friends either come in your life for a reason or a short, cold season. And there ain't nothing wrong with that, you just have to grow up about the whole situation that is called "life".

    If his habitual drug taking goes against your ethics and moral code (and it does mine), then I suggest you either A) report him to the police as he is breaking the law. I mean how are your flatmates not concerned that all of you can be charged with drug posession if it's on your property. If he does take cocaine and etc, then maybe report this to your landlord or agency and if they do find evidence of this then an investigation would ensue and he'd probably be kicked out. However, of course this may lead to your flatmates not liking you, but it seems that's already the case. Uni is not a place where it's acceptable to break the law just because you're a "uni student". In fact, it's a time in many young people's lives to show them that they can't go around doing what the hell they want and not suffer the consequences. I know it seems like you're throwing him under the bus but he should NOT be doing coke in your house and anyone who bloody disagrees is just stupid.

    However, you have skinned of your nose just to spite your face by issuing an ultimatum. An ultimatum never works in friendships, career, relationships, divorce settlements, etc. They just never work. Now that your way hasn't gone your way, you're sulking at the fact that your milk has been spilt. You should have approached it differently but there is no point in going over what you should've done.

    What you now need to do is try to rectify it by offering a solution. It sounds like both of you are childish and have not seemed to draw out a conclusion. He sounds more childish than you and I think if the people you are living with can't seem to think a) his drug taking is not ok b) him *****ing about you is ok and c) him breaking yourself and not reimburse you for it is ok then I'm sure they are not the housemates you really want to be living with. His behaviour is clearly unacceptable to most students and he clearly does not respect your property, your boundaries or his own space either. I think you should sit the house down again and start up with all your concerns such and treat them all like class children. For example "if I broke one of your personal item like hair dryer or toaster you brought from home, would you not want money from me to reimburse you" or "how would you feel if i constantly used your items and never seemed to replace them or wash them up?" you need to impose such questions and lead on from that and ask them how they would feel or what they would do if they were in your shoes.

    Try and come to a negotiation in terms of "if you use my stuff, tell me beforehand so i know what to expect" or l"if you use my stuff please make sure it's ready for me to use by 4pm" or whatnot. For the cocaine and drugs I would literally bring up the contract and say "you do realise by doing this we are all breaking the law and could be fined, cautioned or charged and have a criminal record and although I appreciate your lifestyle is very dissimilar to mine, it is not appropriate for you to be doing such things whilst jeopardizing the rest of us" etc etc. You need to lay down the law with all them and make sure you are the ring leader in the talk and not let the guy spin it around on you. Cause tbf, he sounds very twisted and manipulative in all honesty.

    Try and work out your differences as everyone says, you will never go through this world and meet people you'll get on with. But if you can find ways to work around them rather than just ignoring the issue or throwing ultimatums (they're basically threats) then it should be fine. A lot of teething problems to come, but hopefully it will all be worth it.

    PS: Some of the previous posters are just trolls trying to bait you - don't feel the need to reply to all of them.

    But try and get this sorted and if it isn't - find alternative ways to live and not just think it's "either this house or back home" they will be plenty of advice that you can seek from your student accommodation and union if do end up living elsewhere.

    Good luck and I am keen to know what happens over the near future!
    I have this post on my watch list because I replied to it before and I just want to say about the whole suggesting to report him to the police that
    A) This is a really nasty and spiteful thing to do, let him make his own life choices and you make yours. As previously stated his choice to take substances like that, even if you are in the room, affects your life in NO WAY. It affects his life. Telling the police just because you don't like him could **** up his life.
    B) I imagine you would REALLY alienate your friends if you do that
    C) I highly doubt the police would give a **** about a student having a gram of coke when they are trying to go after the dealers and you'll just look like a prick.
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    (Original post by Moura)
    I have this post on my watch list because I replied to it before and I just want to say about the whole suggesting to report him to the police that
    A) This is a really nasty and spiteful thing to do, let him make his own life choices and you make yours. As previously stated his choice to take substances like that, even if you are in the room, affects your life in NO WAY. It affects his life. Telling the police just because you don't like him could **** up his life.
    B) I imagine you would REALLY alienate your friends if you do that
    C) I highly doubt the police would give a **** about a student having a gram of coke when they are trying to go after the dealers and you'll just look like a prick.
    A) it is not spiteful. It is the law. Of course he should do what he should do, but legally speaking, they all signed a legal binding contract agreeing they will not partake in any illegal activities and so forth. And I'm pretty sure allowing someone to continuously do cocaine and other drugs is morally wrong as cocaine is a class A drug which can be very destructive to that person and the surrounding persons. It's not "just because I don't like him" - it's because he is breaking the law and putting the safety of other people in harm's way. At the end of the day, he should not be taking illegal substances into a house that he has signed expressing he would not do. Breaking a contract is also a criminal offence.

    B) As you get older, you realise friends come and go and there is more to life then friends.

    C) Police won't ignore a felony - and I'm not going to argue or conspire as to how much this particular person takes or possess as you do nor I know such facts.
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    (Original post by The Empire Odyssey)
    A) it is not spiteful. It is the law. Of course he should do what he should do, but legally speaking, they all signed a legal binding contract agreeing they will not partake in any illegal activities and so forth. And I'm pretty sure allowing someone to continuously do cocaine and other drugs is morally wrong as cocaine is a class A drug which can be very destructive to that person and the surrounding persons. It's not "just because I don't like him" - it's because he is breaking the law and putting the safety of other people in harm's way. At the end of the day, he should not be taking illegal substances into a house that he has signed expressing he would not do. Breaking a contract is also a criminal offence.

    B) As you get older, you realise friends come and go and there is more to life then friends.

    C) Police won't ignore a felony - and I'm not going to argue or conspire as to how much this particular person takes or possess as you do nor I know such facts.
    A) This is a very black and white way of thinking. Cocaine obviously isn't good for you but it is HIS decision to take it. He is not harming anyone but himself. It is not the OPs moral duty to step in ESPECIALLY when he would be doing it out of spite and anger rather than genuine care for a person and if he told the police and they did something about it that would be doing way more harm than good. There is a lot of scientific and political research that says things like this should not be illegal.

    B) That's very sad. I hope you find a friend that changes this way of viewing life, but don't let whatever has hurt you affect others by telling them that this is a fact when it is just your personal experience.

    C) yes they would ignore this, even if they didn't and came over they would literally just confiscate it unless he had any amount that could be dealing potential. don't be naive.
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    (Original post by The Empire Odyssey)
    C) Police won't ignore a felony - and I'm not going to argue or conspire as to how much this particular person takes or possess as you do nor I know such facts.
    No one's getting locked up over a wrap of cocaine. It's not in the US, so it's not a felony.
    Someone reporting someone they live with doing a little bit of Charlie isn't going to end well.
 
 
 
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