Are intelligent people disadvantaged in finding a partner? Watch

bete noire
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#121
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#121
you can't blame people for not getting your hilarious witticisms and oh so subtle cultural references if they're dull as **** in the first place bro.
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punktopia
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#122
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#122
Yeah, it's sad just how hard it is to find someone on my wavelength. I've tried dating girls less intelligent than me, it just doesn't work - I ended up wanting to feed them to crocodiles.
That said, I think the term "intelligence" is somewhat of an oversimplification. What does it even mean anyway? If it's related to knowledge, then I have a lot more knowledge of certain subjects than most people (say, mythology, history etc.) whilst they almost certainly have more detailed knowledge of popular culture.
If it's down to logical thinking - how do you measure that? I think a lot of people are capable of logical thinking, but it's dependent on their upbringing.

That's what intelligence seems to come down to. Nurture shapes your capability for rational thinking (in my opinion) as well as your interests, outlook on life and perhaps your skills. For example, I was taught to read at an early age, as was my sister - we're both very literary people now. Likewise with being brought up around music.

Anyway, I'm somewhat uncomfortable about labelling people more or less intelligent, although I still do for convenience's sake.
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playingcards
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#123
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#123
(Original post by i am a duck)
you can't blame people for not getting your witticisms hillarious if they're dull in the first place. Yeah, it was like a joke about the current state of the economy right? its hardly have I got news for you
I'm not blaming anyone for anything. Jeez. It was an example, of what people I might like would UNDERSTAND.

(Original post by playingcards)
Rubbish examples; nobody assume these two things are my conditions for having a relationship with someone.
How many times? In the current context, it's not amazing.
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Sanity Panda
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#124
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#124
(Original post by sweetnfresh2)
Maybe or maybe not.
Perhaps it's just splitting hairs. Emotional connection covers a huge ground including wavelenght compatibility.
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bete noire
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#125
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#125
Wellll allllriiiiiight then
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Master Polhem
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#126
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#126
Well what everyone on this forum considers intelligence is really just people going to Oxbridge. That is not true at all but that is what everyone is thinking and what society has brought us up to believe. That was not having a go at you btw, playingcards, I am with you 100% on this one.
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Vesicle
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#127
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(Original post by playingcards)
I don't think so. I often find they are more extroverted and socially aware; i.e. can actually chat to a girl without leering, and more importantly, can adjust to suit the conversation they're involved in. Generally. intelligent people have either confidence, or arrogance, and either of these always help as a starting-point in social situations.
I would agree with the socially aware aspect, as intellctuals generally tend to be more questioning, have more interests, and are more sensitive to the idosyncrasies/ironies/patterns in life. Although there are of course many people who are just focused in one area.

I don't see how that links in with confidence or arrogance though, as a lot of really intelligent people I know in fact have strickingly low confidence in themselves. It may be that the person in question has a breadth of subjects which they're interested in talking about, and so appear more adaptable.
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playingcards
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#128
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#128
(Original post by Master Polhem)
Well what everyone on this forum considers intelligence is really just people going to Oxbridge. That is not true at all but that is what everyone is thinking and what society has brought us up to believe. That was not having a go at you btw, playingcards, I am with you 100% on this one.
I know. I appreciate you (and Fellas1990) are actually addressing my points and not criticising syntax. Perhaps it would have been more useful for me to hide my signature - would people have concentrated on my argument and not assumed it was arrogance?
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bete noire
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#129
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#129
I don't think you're arrogant by the way
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Wind Guru
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#130
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(Original post by playingcards)
This is true. This was my point. I've never said: "I am smart and I will only accept a girl with an IQ of 156+ and this is unfair", which is what I'm being targeted for as supposed arrogance. I'm saying, I can find a girl hot and love her company and have an emotional connection, but if I don't click with her intellectually AS WELL (with obscure/ironic reference as ^^ mentions), I just don't fancy her. And, posing this as a general question on whether this it would be accurate to suggest people on either end of the Intelligence Bell-Curve (stupidly only using the upper tier) are therefore naturally disadvantaged. I don't want to be told I'm being arrogant; because (for once) I'm really not intending to be. It only reads that way if it looks like I'm complaining about how unfair life is, how thick people are, or something.
Very much agreed with this!
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sweetnfresh2
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#131
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#131
(Original post by Sanity Panda)
Perhaps it's just splitting hairs. Emotional connection covers a huge ground including wavelenght compatibility.

Yeah, I love sharing the same vive ("wavelengh compatibility" as you put it) with someone I care about (friends and/or lovers). But, sometimes you find opposite attraction (usually physical, not mental). Someone who comes from a totally different background including intelligence issues. That kind of relationship always fails so easily or it never starts (not worth of a second glance). Of course, when two people share the same vives, they can also share good conversations, humours and feelings, and it can last longer or forever.
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Ashes_to_Ashes
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#132
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#132
Well... I think intelligence can make it hard for you to socialise and less confident, and so you end up going out with less people than others.

I've found that since I've become more confident guys take more interest. Finding confidence is the best thing anyone can do, and I believe it makes you a lot more attractive as your nice qualities can shine through.
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Wangers
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#133
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(Original post by playingcards)
OK. If I was talking to someone about, Literature, and they understood a reference to Snowball and Napoleon. If someone asked me to lend them a quid, and understood me when I asked them not to invest it in a French bank.

Rubbish examples; nobody assume these two things are my conditions for having a relationship with someone. But I'd say in my (fairly representative) college, 20%ish of A-level students would get it. And this sort of general intelligence or awareness is almost the clincher for me if I like someone, because I would feel both challenged and active in the relationship.
You are not actually looking for intelligence per se, you are looking for people that a) - listen to the news and are vaguely aware of the world around them, and b) - have developed a passion.

If people don't meet these two criterion, you find conversation utterly pointless and devoid of vibrance, eloquence, or perphaps more acutly - the ability to grow and prosper.
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DoubleThePrice
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#134
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#134
Understanding some obscure literature reference does not necessarily make you itelligent.
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playingcards
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#135
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(Original post by Wangers)
You are not actually looking for intelligence per se, you are looking for people that a) - listen to the news and are vaguely aware of the world around them, and b) - have developed a passion.

If people don't meet these two criterion, you find conversation utterly pointless and devoid of vibrance, eloquence, or perphaps more acutly - the ability to grow and prosper.
Not as such, although those two are major constituents of what I would deem intelligence in an interesting person.

And to a certain extent, I do like conversation to have the potential to grow and prosper, and eloquence is useful. However, I don't find it pointless; so many of my favourite people in the world may not be able to give an opinion on basic politics, philosophy, or whatever, but by virtue of being lovely people, I enjoy spending time with them, but would struggle to consider the prospect of a lasting relationship.
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Wangers
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#136
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(Original post by DoubleThePrice)
Understanding some obscure literature reference does not necessarily make you itelligent.
Depends on what you define as obscure literature. Theres much much able to beat great literature and sippage of Port.
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playingcards
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#137
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(Original post by DoubleThePrice)
Understanding some obscure literature reference does not necessarily make you itelligent.
Animal Farm is certainly not obscure. Although sadly, I doubt the majority of A-Level students have either read or have any knowledge of it. AGAIN though (:mad: !), its just an example. I wouldnt just reject someone because they fail to get a single reference to any given topic; of course it doesn't make them unintelligent. If it's a consistent problem though, I'd accept we were on totally different wavelengths.
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Wangers
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#138
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(Original post by playingcards)
Not as such, although those two are major constituents of what I would deem intelligence in an interesting person.

And to a certain extent, I do like conversation to have the potential to grow and prosper, and eloquence is useful. However, I don't find it pointless; so many of my favourite people in the world may not be able to give an opinion on basic politics, philosophy, or whatever, but by virtue of being lovely people, I enjoy spending time with them, but would struggle to consider the prospect of a lasting relationship.
No, you don't necessarily have to give a dissective opinion on the essays of Kant or works like Leviathan (indeed few people our age could); the point being that we need people to relax and be silly with. Then again us humans are wretchedly curious creatures and we naturally want to learn and expand our horizons - the best way to do that is to surround oneself with people who are learned and witty - or just more genreally - people who are agile of mind. Yes talking to people that can keep up with you is great, one step better is someone who can do that, and go one step better - keep you on your mental toes and 'stretch' you as well.
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playingcards
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#139
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(Original post by Wangers)
No, you don't necessarily have to give a dissective opinion on the essays of Kant or works like Leviathan (indeed few people our age could); the point being that we need people to relax and be silly with. Then again us humans are wretchedly curious creatures and we naturally want to learn and expand our horizons - the best way to do that is to surround oneself with people who are learned and witty - or just more genreally - people who are agile of mind. Yes talking to people that can keep up with you is great, one step better is someone who can do that, and go one step better - keep you on your mental toes and 'stretch' you as well.
Couldn't have put it better myself... (being crap at making my arguments concise and straightforward, this isn't surprising).
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DoubleThePrice
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#140
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#140
I wasn't specifically referring to Animal Farm.
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