Black and worried Watch

*Katie*
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#121
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#121
(Original post by Anonymous)
Wow.
Secondly, thanks katie for such an honest reply. To be honest, despite the anecdotes from people saying 'I'm a white guy who fancies black girls' or 'My dog's sister's great-aunt's cousin who is black has a white boyfriend', I know that the reality of it is that most (middleclass) white guys don't often see black girls as dateable, no matter how pretty/intelligent/funny they are. Having grown up/socialised largely in an environment which is hugely white and middle class (private education), I've always been aware that I received significantly less attention, than girls less pretty/nice than I. I know that tbh, what I've experienced in all likelihood is just a microcosm of Oxford, which may possibly be even less diverse than the environment I'm in now.

I think it is still expected on some subconscious level, that people date within their own race. The only time my male friends ever tried to set me up (a rite of passage with them, all secretly Jewish mothers), it was with a guy who had a crush on me, but I'd never spoken to - he was...black, of course. Its almost as if they felt that black people should only date other black people.

And the sad thing is, despite our reputation for multiculturality, it is very much a British mindset. I just went on holiday with my (all white) girl mates recently to Spain, and without being boastful, I was (physically at points) fighting off male attention left, right and centre. Guys would literally stop in the streets to compliment me (and yes I'll admit some of them were British) and shouts of 'que guapa' (loosely translates as hot) followed me everywhere. The situation was radically different from what I've previously encountered in my middle-class enclave up until now.
I went from being the one who received the least male ttention when out with friends in bars and clubs, to the one who received far more than anyone else.

And the funny thing is, up until this holiday with friends, I'd gotten so used to my 'situation' that I'd actually become convinced that perhaps I was just an average looking plain Jane, and quite dull, which would explain the lack of attention. I'm going out to bars in central London the next two nights, and I'm actually curious to how things will go (and I'll let you guys know!) I think it will be a very telling experiment.
This trip abroad only made me think I won't be marrying a British guy.
The thing about travelling abroad is so true. Go to Paris and I swear you will be chased through the streets. London will be similar too! Having grown up in the middle of nowhere in a white/mc area as well, I was fairly used to a lack of significant attention but Ox I think takes it a little further.

I don't think people can help who they are attracted to, and as much as they like to think of themselves as "colourblind" and whatnot, i guess people can't really help putting others into boxes. Without giving too much away, there have only been about three "known" black guys in Oxford and because we'd run in similar circles everyone would assume there was something going on :rolleyes: . Whilst I could be a lot more flirty with someone white and they wouldn't think twice about that.

Most guys here are really nice, and smart (with quite a lot of arrogance to boot) and friendly and a difference can be made if you're not too shy to make them see you a bit differently. I just think more striking girls are used to having confident guys approaching them, and it came as a surprise to my friend (and me to a lesser extent) that that isn't what happens in Ox.

You'll have a fab time, anyhow, I hope. PM me if you have any worries.
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Invocation
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#122
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#122
(Original post by Liverpool's Number 9)
Last time I checked "brown sugar" wasn't a specific race. :p:

To satify your pedantic tendancies though:

http://img2.timeinc.net/people/i/200...s1_300_400.jpg

She is black right? :P
It's interesting you've picked two women who have straitened their hair, and have very light skin.
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Quequeeg
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#123
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#123
Small worldview youve got here, but thats typical of OU students. Oxford stops at magdalene bridge for most, and the realm beyond that has signs of "HERE BE DRAGONS" and other mythical creatures.

If youre so worried about being passed over in Oxford, whats to say you cant date guys from Oxford (the city)/Cowley or from Oxford Brookes? Despite the reputation, we're not all a bunch of tards, and since probably most arent from private school youll likely find someone to be with. Its like the vietnam war. If you find youre **** at fighting on a certain terrain, change your methods to win.

Are you sure youre an oxford student? It seems like a pretty bloody obvious adaption to me.http://fi.somethingawful.com/images/...mot-eng101.gif
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Invocation
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#124
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#124
(Original post by NW8_SW1_EC3)
Kind of on topic, one of my best friends (white) is dying to have sex with a black girl. LMAO
OP: I think you'll find the majority of interest from white males to have similar motivations. Sure, some of them would show an interest but very few would act on it, fewer if you're not particularly attractive (their idea of attractive wouldn't venture too far from their ideal of straight hair, fair skin, and Caucasian features), and further fewer would show a serious interest other than wanting to sleep with you to pencil off "pull a darkie" off their to do list.

You'll notice the examples of attractive black women men have offered up in this thread as attractive have fit this "ideal"; Beyonce, Alicia Keys for example.

TBH this whole idea of people suddenly having a change of heart from college, and wanting to venture out with people of all sorts of colours and sizes is a myth. Unfortunately, people aren't colour blind, and as has been mentioned numerous times, most white males would much rather date other whites not just as a cultural preference but for aesthetic reasons also. Any dating outside their race is likely to be temporary at best.

As others have mentioned, black women mostly come last in race-preference thread on here, so don't expect anything different at uni. However you shouldn't try to change your physical appearance to look more "white". If anyone doesn't accept you for what you are then they're not worth dating anyway.

Of course, I could lie to you and say the vast majority of upper-class white conservative males, who make up the majority of such an institution will fall over backwards for a long-term relationship with a 'black-looking' black girl, but I don't feel it's right to give you that false sense of hope.

Concentrate on your degree instead, and count yourself lucky if you come out uni with anyone worth keeping.
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mr-breaker
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#125
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#125
(Original post by *Katie*)
The thing about travelling abroad is so true. Go to any city East of the Oder/South of the Alps and I swear you will be chased through the streets.

FYP
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Mikey Smalls
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#126
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#126
(Original post by Anonymous)

I'm really worried that when I go to uni noone will fancy me. You see I'm a black girl and I'm going to Oxford where the student population is predominantly white. I saw a thread in the Oxbridge forum (still there if you wanna looks its calle hook ups or soemthing) that said the general standard of attractiveness for girls/ those girls who are considered 'fit' tend to be blonde - and by default white.
This maybe the chance for you to be the first black girl to convert white boys to like the chocolate side of the female population. lol you know you can.
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bete noire
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#127
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#127
(Original post by Invocation)
OP: I think you'll find the majority of interest from white males to have similar motivations. Sure, some of them would show an interest but very few would act on it, fewer if you're not particularly attractive (their idea of attractive wouldn't venture too far from their ideal of straight hair, fair skin, and Caucasian features), and further fewer would show a serious interest other than wanting to sleep with you to pencil off "pull a darkie" off their to do list.

You'll notice the examples of attractive black women men have offered up in this thread as attractive have fit this "ideal"; Beyonce, Alicia Keys for example.

TBH this whole idea of people suddenly having a change of heart from college, and wanting to venture out with people of all sorts of colours and sizes is a myth. Unfortunately, people aren't colour blind, and as has been mentioned numerous times, most white males would much rather date other whites not just as a cultural preference but for aesthetic reasons also. Any dating outside their race is likely to be temporary at best.

As others have mentioned, black women mostly come last in race-preference thread on here, so don't expect anything different at uni. However you shouldn't try to change your physical appearance to look more "white". If anyone doesn't accept you for what you are then they're not worth dating anyway.

Of course, I could lie to you and say the vast majority of upper-class white conservative males, who make up the majority of such an institution will fall over backwards for a long-term relationship with a 'black-looking' black girl, but I don't feel it's right to give you that false sense of hope.

Concentrate on your degree instead, and count yourself lucky if you come out uni with anyone worth keeping.
You sound well bitter
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Invocation
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#128
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#128
(Original post by bete noire)
You sound well bitter
Haha, reading it back would give that impression. It's just some things I've observed at uni.
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Anonymous #13
#129
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#129
Theres alot of pretty black girls out there as well as not so good looking ones as expected of any. No race is flawless !
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ANM775
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#130
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#130
I know ages I said I don't see much white men with black women ...but recently I have been noticing more. today I saw two couples who looked in thier early teens to early 20's, the women were medium skinned tonned, and sterotyping a bit here but the white guys looked fairly intelligent (acidemically)
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phones
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#131
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#131
(Original post by Anonymous)
Theres alot of pretty black girls out there as well as not so good looking ones as expected of any. No race is flawless !
i dont think thats what she meant.

i think she means that unless the black girl in question has caucasion features like straight hair light skin etc then she will not be viewed dateable by the white middleclass boys of oxford regardless of how pretty she actually is.
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shellyanne
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#132
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#132
(Original post by Anonymous)
Please keep anon or delete.

I've made this anon becuase lots of people on here know me in real life and I would be completely mortified if they knew (don't ask why) but here goes.

I'm really worried that when I go to uni noone will fancy me. You see I'm a black girl and I'm going to Oxford where the student population is predominantly white. I saw a thread in the Oxbridge forum (still there if you wanna looks its calle hook ups or soemthing) that said the general standard of attractiveness for girls/ those girls who are considered 'fit' tend to be blonde - and by default white.
I think I'm quite attractive - I'm slim nice smile, I think good personality - not being vain just saying - I have a lot of friends and would probably be labelled popular , though my school really isn;t cliquey.

I'm just worried that because I'm black noone will even consider me as 'pulleable' if you understand me - in the way you might look at someone and think 'yes she's fit, but I just wouldn't - don't ask me why'

Another thing that makes me think this is becuase most of the guys are white, middle class and will have been brought up surrounded by white girls and I will be something of an oddity.

Help! Responses much appreciated especailly from people who go to Oxbrdge, or unis that have that really middle class white demographic - I think you know what I mean.

Thanks
What a BOASTING, SELF CENTRED and SHOW OFF thread. I've hightligted the bits where your being self absorbed, bragging and generaly showing off. plus your at oxfdord, what are we meant to be? impressed? impressed that a black girl got in? dont be so stupid.

This has NOTHING to do with race, it's just a chance for you to push yourself up and makes yourseld feel better. Your fishing for compluiments, and i aint giveing them.

Its nothing to do with colour of your skin so dont even dare bring this into it. thats the general behavor of a self obbsessed, shallow, fools.

People will like u if ya black, white, yello, green. stop being so self piting.
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shellyanne
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#133
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#133
(Original post by Invocation)
It's interesting you've picked two women who have straitened their hair, and have very light skin.
Get of ur high horse.

This is white

http://i89.photobucket.com/albums/k2...SURFACEMAG.jpg

NOT Beyonce, purlease. Fool!
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Anonymous #14
#134
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#134
(Original post by shellyanne)
What a BOASTING, SELF CENTRED and SHOW OFF thread. I've hightligted the bits where your being self absorbed, bragging and generaly showing off. plus your at oxfdord, what are we meant to be? impressed? impressed that a black girl got in? dont be so stupid.

This has NOTHING to do with race, it's just a chance for you to push yourself up and makes yourseld feel better. Your fishing for compluiments, and i aint giveing them.

Its nothing to do with colour of your skin so dont even dare bring this into it. thats the general behavor of a self obbsessed, shallow, fools.

People will like u if ya black, white, yello, green. stop being so self piting.

please shut up. I think your're not black.
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bete noire
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#135
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#135
This is totally after the fact but...God I would bone this woman into oblivion
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Invocation
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#136
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#136
(Original post by shellyanne)
Get of ur high horse.

This is white

NOT Beyonce, purlease. Fool!
wat
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kemi231
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#137
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#137
i dont think you will have anthing to worry about but i do think it will be a bit harder for you to get attention from the middle class white boys at oxford. i dont think their being racist i think they might be quite similiar to you. As they probally grew up in a white dominated area so a blonde white girl is their preference like a white boy is your'es. i am a black female and i find all races attractive as i grew up in a multicultural communiy, however i have seen white males with dark skinned girls even though it is not common. im sure you will find someone though and that they will like you regardless of you're skin colour
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Anonymous #1
#138
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#138
(Original post by shellyanne)
What a BOASTING, SELF CENTRED and SHOW OFF thread. I've hightligted the bits where your being self absorbed, bragging and generaly showing off. plus your at oxfdord, what are we meant to be? impressed? impressed that a black girl got in? dont be so stupid.

This has NOTHING to do with race, it's just a chance for you to push yourself up and makes yourseld feel better. Your fishing for compluiments, and i aint giveing them.

Its nothing to do with colour of your skin so dont even dare bring this into it. thats the general behavor of a self obbsessed, shallow, fools.

People will like u if ya black, white, yello, green. stop being so self piting.

Okay then...
I've highlighted the bits where you've made STUPID grammatical/punctuation/spelling errors... Because if I'm being honest they make me less inclined to listen to the utter rubbish that you wrote. You sound incredibly bitter - did you get rejected from Oxford or something, because if you did, I don't think that atrocious syntax would have helped.

That aside, I think you have completely and utterly missed the point of my post. I wasn't fishing for compliments, and you're clearly not intelligent enough to grasp the finer subtleties of the discussion at hand in this thread.

So just do us all a favour and get out.
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nneka!
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#139
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#139
(Original post by shellyanne)
What a BOASTING, SELF CENTRED and SHOW OFF thread. I've hightligted the bits where your being self absorbed, bragging and generaly showing off. plus your at oxfdord, what are we meant to be? impressed? impressed that a black girl got in? dont be so stupid.

This has NOTHING to do with race, it's just a chance for you to push yourself up and makes yourseld feel better. Your fishing for compluiments, and i aint giveing them.

Its nothing to do with colour of your skin so dont even dare bring this into it. thats the general behavor of a self obbsessed, shallow, fools.

People will like u if ya black, white, yello, green. stop being so self piting.
oh wow, i dont think you understood the OP's post
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Anonymous #15
#140
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#140
(Original post by nneka!)
oh wow, i dont think you understood the OP's post
Your school is bait.
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