Depression Society MkII Watch

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Bangers+Mash
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#1481
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#1481
hey everyone :hugs: how are you all?

I've just got back from seeing my psychiatrist today, it was such a positive session im so pleased with how it went and i feel great now. but, i have an appointment with my councellor soon (first time im seeing him since overdose) so it will be awkward will see how it goes though.

Hope everyone is ok
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*pink_sapphires*
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#1482
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#1482
I hate life.

Seriously, I can't stop crying. :bawling: I've got my car, went out for a drive and I just can't drive it. It's such a big car and I'm not used to driving 18 year old 2 litre engines. I kept stalling and people honked at me, even when I had my P plates on and it's really knocked my confidence. It was horrible.

Not going to be able to see the boy today. He's too busy. I spoke to him loads on MSN yesterday and things are fine, but I'm going to miss him soooooooooooooooooooooo much :bawling: I rang him this morning to see if he wanted a lift to the airport on Wednesday because my Dad has booked a flight home from the same airport which leaves half an hour before his does. He said his friends who have been in Malta for the last week and Michael are going to take him and he said he'd see me there. I highly doubt he will see me though. He's too busy to meet up today now. What if I never see him again? I suppose in a way it's a good thing I didn't say bye to him because then it's not like it's the end. But yeah...I dunno.

I'm so scared about results and uni. I'm dreading it. No one will like me. I'll make no friends and I'll be the reject of the uni. Everyone will stereotype me because I went to a private school and because I apparently speak poshly (i really don't think I do but everyone says I do). It's happened so many times before, I know it will happen again. Teachers have warned me about it too.

Michael text me yesterday, I didn't reply, I told Gavin I wasn't replying and then Michael text me asking me why I'd asked Gavin if I should reply and saying how he really wants to meet up this week for a drink. I said we'd see as I'm already out 2 or 3 nights this week. There's something about him that doesn't sit comfortably with me and I don't know what to do. I don't want this pressure. Gavin said he's trying to get in my knickers, and I'm really not interested. I've told him I'm not that kinda girl, but he is being really difficult. It's ok for him, he's 27 and has made enough mistakes not to care. But I'm not like that.

Mum is being weird with me too. She's refusing to get in a car with me driving. She's not being supportive at the minute at all. It's like some great big wall has been put up between us over the past 6 months and I don't like it. It has its good points, but it also has its bad ones. I feel unsupported by her and that's not good.

Oh, and I've just had to spend £50 on ANOTHER laptop charger. This is the 5th one I've had in 2 years. They just break on me I can't afford it but I had no choice. I need my laptop.

this is way too long so i'll shut up. hope no one else is feeling as bad as i am today
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jonathan122
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#1483
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#1483
(Original post by *pink_sapphires*)
I hate life.

Seriously, I can't stop crying. :bawling: I've got my car, went out for a drive and I just can't drive it. It's such a big car and I'm not used to driving 18 year old 2 litre engines. I kept stalling and people honked at me, even when I had my P plates on and it's really knocked my confidence. It was horrible.

Not going to be able to see the boy today. He's too busy. I spoke to him loads on MSN yesterday and things are fine, but I'm going to miss him soooooooooooooooooooooo much :bawling: I rang him this morning to see if he wanted a lift to the airport on Wednesday because my Dad has booked a flight home from the same airport which leaves half an hour before his does. He said his friends who have been in Malta for the last week and Michael are going to take him and he said he'd see me there. I highly doubt he will see me though. He's too busy to meet up today now. What if I never see him again? I suppose in a way it's a good thing I didn't say bye to him because then it's not like it's the end. But yeah...I dunno.

I'm so scared about results and uni. I'm dreading it. No one will like me. I'll make no friends and I'll be the reject of the uni. Everyone will stereotype me because I went to a private school and because I apparently speak poshly (i really don't think I do but everyone says I do). It's happened so many times before, I know it will happen again. Teachers have warned me about it too.

Michael text me yesterday, I didn't reply, I told Gavin I wasn't replying and then Michael text me asking me why I'd asked Gavin if I should reply and saying how he really wants to meet up this week for a drink. I said we'd see as I'm already out 2 or 3 nights this week. There's something about him that doesn't sit comfortably with me and I don't know what to do. I don't want this pressure. Gavin said he's trying to get in my knickers, and I'm really not interested. I've told him I'm not that kinda girl, but he is being really difficult. It's ok for him, he's 27 and has made enough mistakes not to care. But I'm not like that.

Mum is being weird with me too. She's refusing to get in a car with me driving. She's not being supportive at the minute at all. It's like some great big wall has been put up between us over the past 6 months and I don't like it. It has its good points, but it also has its bad ones. I feel unsupported by her and that's not good.

Oh, and I've just had to spend £50 on ANOTHER laptop charger. This is the 5th one I've had in 2 years. They just break on me I can't afford it but I had no choice. I need my laptop.

this is way too long so i'll shut up. hope no one else is feeling as bad as i am today
:hugs:

Cyprus isn't the end of the world, I'm sure you'll see him again

Have you considered doing PassPlus? It might help you to feel more confident in your car.

As regards to uni, don't worry. Plenty of people from private schools go, and I'm sure nobody will stereotype you once they've got to know you. What uni are you hoping to go to?

:hugs:
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Laus
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#1484
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#1484
If anything, I would be like, man, I wish I went to private school.
*pink_sapphires*
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#1485
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#1485
I've done Pass Plus. It's the fact it's an old car and it's a different type of driving to driving a 6 month old Mini! I just drove my Mum!!!!!!!!!!!!! After everything she said, she gave in because I was upset!!!! haha! Didn't stall once Feel a bit better about driving now Might go out on my own in a bit. We'll see.

I'm hoping to go to Warwick but I don't think I'll get the grades. I need BBB but after failing January modules and finding them impossible in June aswell, I'll be lucky to get DDD! We'll see.

Laus :hugs: Private school isn't actually all that amazing. Admitedly I've been in private education since I was 7 so I can't compare the two, but I know I wasn't always happy at private school and I didn't fit in. I'm not rich; I had a bursary. We struggled to pay for my lunches and extra-curricular activities, whereas all the other kids had everything and because they did have so much money, they wasted it and did stupid things and i just didn't fit in.

Anyway...got to go out and drive again! I'm becoming a chauffeur! It's taking my mind off of Gavin a little bit which is good but I'm still going to miss him

Thank you to everyone for looking after me these past few days. You don't know how much it means to me :hugs: xx
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lolilady---O
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#1486
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#1486
Hi everyone :hugs: Would it be okay if I joined here..?? (have been following the thread but haven't posted yet (well have now) )

I've had depression for over a year now, have been on Citalopram for about 2months (I wasn't sure about going on meds but then realised I needed them if I ever want to get better).

I suffer anxiety and depression (higher anxiety though). Things are definatly better since the meds and it is less of a struggle to live but I still can't get rid of the anxious feelings No matter how much I try and calm down, things sometimes seem like they'll never get better. Tbh I don't think my family care all that much.
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starchild
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#1487
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#1487
(Original post by lolilady---O)
Hi everyone :hugs: Would it be okay if I joined here..?? (have been following the thread but haven't posted yet (well have now) )

I've had depression for over a year now, have been on Citalopram for about 2months (I wasn't sure about going on meds but then realised I needed them if I ever want to get better).

I suffer anxiety and depression (higher anxiety though). Things are definatly better since the meds and it is less of a struggle to live but I still can't get rid of the anxious feelings No matter how much I try and calm down, things sometimes seem like they'll never get better. Tbh I don't think my family care all that much.
:hugs: welcome to the depsoc, where we give hugs and much support.

Anxiety is nasty, i suffer from it mildly. My parents didnt help me at all really, and possibly fuelled it and made it worse. Im sorry your family dont seem to care, but we all care here :hugs: How are the meds going?

Siti xx :hugs:
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Bangers+Mash
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#1488
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#1488
(Original post by lolilady---O)
Hi everyone :hugs: Would it be okay if I joined here..?? (have been following the thread but haven't posted yet (well have now) )

I've had depression for over a year now, have been on Citalopram for about 2months (I wasn't sure about going on meds but then realised I needed them if I ever want to get better).

I suffer anxiety and depression (higher anxiety though). Things are definatly better since the meds and it is less of a struggle to live but I still can't get rid of the anxious feelings No matter how much I try and calm down, things sometimes seem like they'll never get better. Tbh I don't think my family care all that much.
Hi, im Luke, welcome :hugs:

Anxiety is really hard to deal with at times luckily i only had mild anxiety earlier this year but i've not had any recent issues with it.

I know how it feels about your family being like that, im sorry to hear you feel like that.

Everyone is here to help eachother so feel free to talk anytime
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lolilady---O
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#1489
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#1489
aww thankyou for the replies ]

I don't think the medication is making a huge amount of difference tbh. I don't want to come off them though it could make things 1000x worse. Exercise is more effective it's just making the effort to do it.

I just feel really stressed all the time. My GP thinks I suffer from both but the Anxiety a lot more. Does everyone here have therapy? I started but stopped. I find it very hard to talk about things. Sorry I'll stop droaning on. Hope everyone's had a good day so far :hugs:
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Laus
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#1490
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#1490
Welcome to the soc lovely loliladyO :hugs:

I'm so tired. Found out my Nan has Alzheimers, which sucks. Everything is just too much at the moment.
jonathan122
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#1491
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#1491
(Original post by Laus)
Welcome to the soc lovely loliladyO :hugs:

I'm so tired. Found out my Nan has Alzheimers, which sucks. Everything is just too much at the moment.
:console:

I'm here if you want to talk.
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*pink_sapphires*
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#1492
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#1492
Welcome Lolilady :hugs: you are more than welcome here.

Well I've been driving again....this time to town with my brother. Stalled this time though and got upset again I'll get there, I know but it's frustrating when you're in a queue of traffic with traffic sat behind you.

Still feel pretty down but am glad I drove to town, parked the car and bought a ticket. It's a big achievement for me Much easier than getting the bus!

Laus, I forgot to ask, how is the adorable nephew?
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Laus
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#1493
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#1493
(Original post by jonathan122)
:console:

I'm here if you want to talk.

Thank you :hugs:.

(Original post by *pink_sapphires*)
Laus, I forgot to ask, how is the adorable nephew?
Perfect, thanks. :hugs:
upturnedpalms
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#1494
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#1494
(Original post by lolilady---O)
aww thankyou for the replies ]

I don't think the medication is making a huge amount of difference tbh. I don't want to come off them though it could make things 1000x worse. Exercise is more effective it's just making the effort to do it.

I just feel really stressed all the time. My GP thinks I suffer from both but the Anxiety a lot more. Does everyone here have therapy? I started but stopped. I find it very hard to talk about things. Sorry I'll stop droaning on. Hope everyone's had a good day so far :hugs:
I started and stopped too, twice. I just really loathed it.

Hi, by the way I'm Hannah, welcome to the dep soc. :hugs:

:hugs: for Laus too, haven't chatted in a while.
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Sabertooth
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#1495
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#1495
(Original post by lolilady---O)
aww thankyou for the replies ]

I don't think the medication is making a huge amount of difference tbh. I don't want to come off them though it could make things 1000x worse. Exercise is more effective it's just making the effort to do it.

I just feel really stressed all the time. My GP thinks I suffer from both but the Anxiety a lot more. Does everyone here have therapy? I started but stopped. I find it very hard to talk about things. Sorry I'll stop droaning on. Hope everyone's had a good day so far :hugs:
What kind of therapy do you mean?

I've seen counsellors, one was really good the other was rubbish. But now I'm working with a really good team who go into town with me for coffee, organise football socials, just going out and mixing with people and I'm finding it really helps with my anxiety. Perhaps if counselling isn't for you there are other types and you can talk to your gp about it. I think CBT helps with anxiety as well as depression but the waiting list is pretty long.

Could you also maybe try relaxation techniques, they require a bit of practise but can help when you feel your anxiety coming on and defuse a situation before it gets out of hand.

And btw, hi.
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*pink_sapphires*
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#1496
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#1496
Loli, I had CBT but it didn't work. The woman just said there was nothing she could do because it was all external things that affected me and she couldn't change those. Don't think she did her job properly tbh! I've stopped my anti-depressants since my doctor left the surgery, but I've been ok. Not as low as I used to be but still not normal.

God, I'm sooooooo tired! Really hoped to see the boy today he said he'd give me a call later but I doubt he will as he's just so busy. Gunna miss him

Can smell cooking so I might have a nap now and then go out driving after dinner. Can't believe it's 6pm already. Another wasted day
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Bangers+Mash
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#1497
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#1497
I feel rotten

I wish i was a more confident, friendly, better looking and happier person, with a positive vibe, then i would have no issues
Instead of wishing i could just vanish forever.
I actually hate my life
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*pink_sapphires*
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#1498
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#1498
(Original post by Bangers+Mash)
I feel rotten

I wish i was a more confident, friendly, better looking and happier person, with a positive vibe, then i would have no issues
Instead of wishing i could just vanish forever.
I actually hate my life
I wish that about me too :hugs:
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Bangers+Mash
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#1499
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#1499
(Original post by *pink_sapphires*)
I wish that about me too :hugs:
I know dear :hugs:

I wish so much, but its never going to happen, i've tried and tried recently and all i've done is lose friends and make myself feel dead inside.
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Areontas
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#1500
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#1500
Sorry for not replying to individual posts, but :hugs: to everyone that needs one. Hopefully we'll manage to pull through.
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