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Looks vs height vs build vs confidence in a club (for a guy) Watch

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    (Original post by Bakerzoid)
    He can't do anything about his desire for higher earning women. Ergo, he is not shallow. Also, I think not marrying a man because of his height sounds really bad, it's like you decide to marry people because of their height which disregards personality.
    I find it very hard to believe that. Surely he's just interested in the money?
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    (Original post by Bakerzoid)
    Perhaps girls are made to feel bad but not necessarily by men. Also, very, very few men would set a requirement for women to be over a certain breast size whereas the majority of women set rigid height requirements that eliminate very high proportions of men. You can actually change your figure to a more attractive one through exercise and proper diet anyway. Also, men like women of lots of different shapes and sizes. Some men may not find short and chubby girls his type whereas just as many men will. Sure, a guy who is 6ft+ will probably be more attracted to very slim, slender women but that doesn't mean such a high proportion of women are going to be lonely at all unless by choice.
    How many men would willingly go out with a flat-chested girl?

    You can't always help your body shape. If you're not curvy in the right places, no amount of exercise could change that!

    erm, I'm tall and slim. I don't see a lot of men chasing me around!
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    (Original post by a_t)
    u jelly?
    ......Yah :ashamed2:
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    (Original post by I love shopping)
    just because someone earns a lot of money, it does not mean they are more skilled or intelligent!

    and yes, to me, finding someone attractive just because they are financially secure is quite shallow!



    I'm sorry, but I don't quite understand your point here.
    I agree - earning power may not correlate perfectly with IQ and many skills and abilities may not be rewarded financially as well as others.

    But surely finding someone attractive just becaus they are over 5 ft 11 is shallow (or arguably even more shallow) than finding someone attractive just because they are financially secure?

    Sometimes some women may see attractive traits in a prospective male partner but the fact that he is not over 5 ft 11 may be a dealbreaker. Why is this less shallow than a man who may see similarly attractive traits in a prospective female partner but for whom the fact that she earns less than £150,000 per annum is also a dealbreaker?

    Arguably a person's lack of height or lack of earning power does not impede either of them partaking in many of the activities usually performed together by couples, right?
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    (Original post by effofex)
    I agree - earning power may not correlate perfectly with IQ and many skills and abilities may not be rewarded financially as well as others.

    But surely finding someone attractive just becaus they are over 5 ft 11 is shallow (or arguably even more shallow) than finding someone attractive just because they are financially secure?

    Sometimes some women may see attractive traits in a prospective male partner but the fact that he is not over 5 ft 11 may be a dealbreaker. Why is this less shallow than a man who may see similarly attractive traits in a prospective female partner but for whom the fact that she earns less than £150,000 per annum is also a dealbreaker?
    Like I said in one of my previous posts, most women won't care about the actual height as long as the man is taller than them.

    I doubt any man would find a woman attractive because of her financial security. Common sense suggests he would want her for the money, which to me is just wrong!

    (Original post by effofex)
    Arguably a person's lack of height or lack of earning power does not impede either of them partaking in many of the activities usually performed together by couples, right?
    No, it doesn't. Not unless you don't mind sleeping with people you're not attracted to.
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    (Original post by I love shopping)
    Like I said in one of my previous posts, most women won't care about the actual height as long as the man is taller than them.

    I doubt any man would find a woman attractive because of her financial security. Common sense suggests he would want her for the money, which to me is just wrong!



    No, it doesn't. Not unless you don't mind sleeping with people you're not attracted to.
    Large elements of 'sleeping' with someone may not depend just on whether you find them physically attractive but also whether they are of sufficient social status, given that people may find out about the liaison/relationship. Many women may prefer to enter a relationship with a well known, financially secure man than say, an incredibly intelligent and athletic but financially insecure man.

    Many women find men attractive because of their financial security - this may often be a requirement when searching for a partner, so in developed nations where many women have similar access to employment/careers as men, surely there may be quite a few men who find women attractive as potential partners because of their financial security.

    What traits do you feel it is acceptable for a male/female to discriminate on when looking for a partner? (without appearing 'shallow') - BMI? highest level of education? financial security? eye colour? religion? ethnicity? breast size? penis size? waist-hip ratio? etc.... and are there characteristics which you feel that people should NOT discriminate on the basis of? (i.e. ones that would warrant the person 'shallow')
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    (Original post by Bakerzoid)
    No, because you will find that men actually try to get with women but more are rejected because women are more choosy, whereas women are less likely to be rejected by men, perhaps because of their higher sex drives, so more women get sex than men. Men are not choosy, they do try, just read the latest thread about fewer and fewer women appearing in clubs (clubs having to allow free entry to women and free drinks or they risk going out of business due to a resulting lack of interest in clubs by men).
    Couldn't this be because women are less likely to sleep around due to being called a slut?

    I can kind of see why fewer women are appearing in clubs. Not all of us like being approached by perverts.
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    (Original post by Bakerzoid)
    If your arguing that somebody isn't shallow because they can't help being shallow/making unreasonable demands then you are going to lose.
    No, not at all! My point is that there is nothing wrong with having personal preferences unless they are completely unreasonable. But then what counts as unreasonable is fairly subjective. You might thinking marrying someone for their money is acceptable, but I don't!

    (Original post by Bakerzoid)
    I'm also starting to detect hypocrisy. You describe men as being shallow for not thinking that you are hot enough
    No, what I found shallow was that he decided not to go out with because of what his friends said. You can't blame me for being hurt when he ditched me after telling me how much he liked me, just because his friends told him to! This is exactly why I don't sleep with men outside relationships. I find it hard to trust them, but that's besides the point.


    (Original post by Bakerzoid)
    or jokingly rating women out of 10 yet they, like you, can't help what they are attracted to. Ergo, they are not shallow either.
    No, we don't find it funny. We find it quite derogatory actually.

    And just to make it clear, I don't think men are more shallow than men, but I also don't think that women are more shallow than men!
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    (Original post by effofex)
    Large elements of 'sleeping' with someone may not depend just on whether you find them physically attractive but also whether they are of sufficient social status, given that people may find out about the liaison/relationship. Many women may prefer to enter a relationship with a well known, financially secure man than say, an incredibly intelligent and athletic but financially insecure man.

    Many women find men attractive because of their financial security - this may often be a requirement when searching for a partner, so in developed nations where many women have similar access to employment/careers as men, surely there may be quite a few men who find women attractive as potential partners because of their financial security.
    I simply don't understand how anyone can think marrying someone for their money is acceptable.

    (Original post by effofex)
    What traits do you feel it is acceptable for a male/female to discriminate on when looking for a partner? (without appearing 'shallow') - BMI? highest level of education? financial security? eye colour? religion? ethnicity? breast size? penis size? waist-hip ratio? etc.... and are there characteristics which you feel that people should NOT discriminate on the basis of? (i.e. ones that would warrant the person 'shallow')
    There is nothing wrong with having preferences. everybody has them, but being nasty / *****y to someone because of it is shallow imo. I did once consider dating a guy who was shorter than me. Things didn't work out between us because of some other reasons. But it would have been shallow of me if I had not even given him a chance.
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    Well since I could talk I have been conditioned to believe, quite correctly that, 99.9% of women are intrested in my bank balance and stock portfolio rather than that Mills and Boon nonsense. Why would me wanting a high earner to give me some reassurance be shallow at all? Addittionaly high earning women are attractive because they are sucessful - isn't that the crapwomen say?

    A guy can't do much about his height. Women can lose weight. Don't have to though becasue quite a few like it better that way.

    Actual point is that women are choosier than men. All women have requirements. Whereas men have preferences, but I doubt many men will reject a woman because she was a cup size too small.

    Women are by far more shallow. Guys talk a lot but when it comes to it they really don't mind. Women wont let go of the tall requirement but will gladly sacrifice the dark, handsome, cute, funny, sweet etc.

    On the ratings; women have constantly rated me. 8/10 FYI. Wanna know something funny, they also admitted height was letting me down and if I was even about 5'10 then I'd be in the 9 and 10. So, let's not pretend that men are the only ones who do this. Women have done it to my face. I even once got a misfired text from a friend saying that she did really fancy me but I was too short to be dateable. Many of my friends have mistook my friendliness, kindness and protective nature to have ulterior motives and have had to tell me that "if I was just taller". I wasn't interested in any of them but besides the point really. I don't find anything wrong in having these requirements. It's your life and it's your bed. You can decide who get's in it with you. But lets not pretend that its not shallow but its divine.

    Your boyfriend is obviously a ****. If you want to be cautious in futre relationships I encourage it, but not all men are dicks.

    A funny story is that a woman I had just met told me that it wasn't my height that was the problem but the fact that I have a complex about it. I asked about this and she said no male can be as well groomed, well dressed, smart, funny, charming and fit if he didnt feel he had to compensate for his height. I don't think I do. I go gym becasue their is some history of heart disease in the family. Looking good is something all men should do. I just got it right. And the personality of an 18 (when this happened) year old is mostly established when height isn't a big deal. Hell, I was one of the best rugby players at school!

    It did make me realise though that, shorter men can't afford to be dicks. They have to be much better than all their counterparts because of womens heightism. So if you are having trouble there is a relatively untapped pool for you!

    N.B: I have nothing against women and their check list. They can fancy whoever they want. Also women have come on to me (hard) albeit rarely. So I realise not all women are daft enough to reject a guy for a very trivial reason.
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    I find it funny that some people on this thread seem to think that how tall you are is the holy grail of pulling when the truth is if you can't pull at the height you are then there is no reason that you will have more chance of pulling if you were taller, I have alot of freinds below 5'9" who get girls all the time because they actually go out there and get on with it instead of sitting on a internet forum bashing women for aparently being shallow and not going for short guys. Face it you people who believe it's your height that is preventing you is more like an excuse you have made up in your mind for why you can't pull. Get over it.
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    (Original post by JayB124)
    Well since I could talk I have been conditioned to believe, quite correctly that, 99.9% of women are intrested in my bank balance and stock portfolio rather than that Mills and Boon nonsense. Why would me wanting a high earner to give me some reassurance be shallow at all? Addittionaly high earning women are attractive because they are sucessful - isn't that the crapwomen say?
    There's nothing wrong with finding successful people attractive, but if you just want their money, regardless of whether or not you like their personality or looks, then you're being shallow imo.

    (Original post by JayB124)
    A guy can't do much about his height. Women can lose weight. Don't have to though becasue quite a few like it better that way.
    But men tend to be taller than women, and like I said before, most women won't care about the actual height as long as the man is taller. A lot of women, including me, don't completely rule out shorter men just because of their height. Don't tell me you don't know any women with a shorter bf?!

    Yes, women can lose weight, but not all skinny women have curvy figures.

    (Original post by JayB124)
    Actual point is that women are choosier than men. All women have requirements. Whereas men have preferences, but I doubt many men will reject a woman because she was a cup size too small.
    You know this, do you?:rolleyes:

    (Original post by JayB124)
    Women are by far more shallow. Guys talk a lot but when it comes to it they really don't mind.
    That's probably because men tend to have a higher sex drive.


    (Original post by JayB124)
    Women wont let go of the tall requirement but will gladly sacrifice the dark, handsome, cute, funny, sweet etc.
    No, we really wouldn't! I would much rather go out with a short nice guy than a tall one who happens to be a complete *******.

    (Original post by JayB124)
    On the ratings; women have constantly rated me. 8/10 FYI. Wanna know something funny, they also admitted height was letting me down and if I was even about 5'10 then I'd be in the 9 and 10. So, let's not pretend that men are the only ones who do this. Women have done it to my face. I even once got a misfired text from a friend saying that she did really fancy me but I was too short to be dateable. Many of my friends have mistook my friendliness, kindness and protective nature to have ulterior motives and have had to tell me that "if I was just taller". I wasn't interested in any of them but besides the point really. I don't find anything wrong in having these requirements. It's your life and it's your bed. You can decide who get's in it with you. But lets not pretend that its not shallow but its divine.
    Yes, height is something women find attractive. I never said women weren't shallow. I think men are just as shallow though.

    (Original post by JayB124)
    Your boyfriend is obviously a ****. If you want to be cautious in futre relationships I encourage it, but not all men are dicks.
    I hope not!


    (Original post by JayB124)
    A funny story is that a woman I had just met told me that it wasn't my height that was the problem but the fact that I have a complex about it.
    Confidence is attractive in both sexes, no?

    (Original post by JayB124)
    It did make me realise though that, shorter men can't afford to be dicks.
    I actually agree with this!


    (Original post by JayB124)
    N.B: I have nothing against women and their check list. They can fancy whoever they want. Also women have come on to me (hard) albeit rarely. So I realise not all women are daft enough to reject a guy for a very trivial reason.
    Women actually have a checklist! We don't tend to fuss to much about traits other than height.
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    (Original post by JayB124)
    Well since I could talk I have been conditioned to believe, quite correctly that, 99.9% of women are intrested in my bank balance and stock portfolio rather than that Mills and Boon nonsense. Why would me wanting a high earner to give me some reassurance be shallow at all? Addittionaly high earning women are attractive because they are sucessful - isn't that the crapwomen say?

    A guy can't do much about his height. Women can lose weight. Don't have to though becasue quite a few like it better that way.

    Actual point is that women are choosier than men. All women have requirements. Whereas men have preferences, but I doubt many men will reject a woman because she was a cup size too small.

    Women are by far more shallow. Guys talk a lot but when it comes to it they really don't mind. Women wont let go of the tall requirement but will gladly sacrifice the dark, handsome, cute, funny, sweet etc.

    On the ratings; women have constantly rated me. 8/10 FYI. Wanna know something funny, they also admitted height was letting me down and if I was even about 5'10 then I'd be in the 9 and 10. So, let's not pretend that men are the only ones who do this. Women have done it to my face. I even once got a misfired text from a friend saying that she did really fancy me but I was too short to be dateable. Many of my friends have mistook my friendliness, kindness and protective nature to have ulterior motives and have had to tell me that "if I was just taller". I wasn't interested in any of them but besides the point really. I don't find anything wrong in having these requirements. It's your life and it's your bed. You can decide who get's in it with you. But lets not pretend that its not shallow but its divine.

    Your boyfriend is obviously a ****. If you want to be cautious in futre relationships I encourage it, but not all men are dicks.

    A funny story is that a woman I had just met told me that it wasn't my height that was the problem but the fact that I have a complex about it. I asked about this and she said no male can be as well groomed, well dressed, smart, funny, charming and fit if he didnt feel he had to compensate for his height. I don't think I do. I go gym becasue their is some history of heart disease in the family. Looking good is something all men should do. I just got it right. And the personality of an 18 (when this happened) year old is mostly established when height isn't a big deal. Hell, I was one of the best rugby players at school!

    It did make me realise though that, shorter men can't afford to be dicks. They have to be much better than all their counterparts because of womens heightism. So if you are having trouble there is a relatively untapped pool for you!

    N.B: I have nothing against women and their check list. They can fancy whoever they want. Also women have come on to me (hard) albeit rarely. So I realise not all women are daft enough to reject a guy for a very trivial reason.
    Mate, you must know some seriously worrying females. In your case, I think this is the exception. I've never met any woman who places such an emphasis on height.
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    (Original post by I love shopping)

    No, we really wouldn't! I would much rather go out with a short nice guy than a tall one who happens to be a complete *******.

    But secret option C of staying single is often taken instead. And this example is of the extremes. Most guys aren't complete *******s. Two otherwise similar guys: taller guy is in general more attractive, even if he is lacking in every other dept. Which is the point of the thread; which is the most important?

    (Original post by I love shopping)

    Confidence is attractive in both sexes, no?

    If you read the rest of the paragraph it becomes immediately obvious that she was being shallow and was trying to defend herself. I don't think of myself as intelligent, I graduated bottom of my undergraduates. OK I got stuffed by(red tape and lost 25% in my dissertation and then graduated top in my MSc but still. And I don't go to the gym for abs, I go to try and stop heart disease and diabeetes. The good physique although very good, was a side effect. She was saying that the only reason I became "awesome" was because I was short when that is ridiculous.


    (Original post by I love shopping)
    Women actually have a checklist! We don't tend to fuss to much about traits other than height.
    Well that's my point.

    High sex drive or not, men will let it go. I really think we are actually trying argue but have the same views!


    (Original post by QwentyJ)
    Mate, you must know some seriously worrying females. In your case, I think this is the exception. I've never met any woman who places such an emphasis on height.
    I agree that not all women are like this. Many have tried to shag me. Actually the ones I didn't get mad and start petty name calling. My female friends think it's hilarious. My guy friends think I should "do them anyway." But I think it's quite exceptional that you have never met a woman like this. I was once walking down the street with my arms around two girls, and a group guys looked at me and exclaimed "What? But he's short!"

    I can still remember the uproar when there was 5'11 James Bond. He just didn't make that magical 6 ft.
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    As someone who used to work in clubs and still goes to clubs now and again.

    1 who you know,
    2confidence
    3looks
    4height
    5build

    I knew blokes with some of the fittest girls in the club because their mate,not even them plays for a certain football club,I knew guys wrong side of thirty with fit late teens on their laps in the vip area because they were mates with the management . Not fair but thats the way life is.

    And if you don't look like you are have a good time, and are shy and standing there sipping a drink looking like your pet died , I personally wouldn't bother setting foot in one,if you are going there to try and pull. You will just waste money, better off in a massage parlour.

    As for the rest, it means, girls less likely to be rude and blow you out if you approach them, and get a bit of attention but the first two, mean you have the least chance of going home alone.

    For instance if I had to place money on who would be leaving with a girl during the night and I had to choose between an average guy or slightly above a 5 or 6 , who had loads of confidence and could make girls laugh, and a great looking guy who is shy, and looks uncomfortable, I would pick the first guy.
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    (Original post by I love shopping)
    and men aren't?
    In terms of who they will have sex with men are not as shallow as women. If you are talking about who men and women are willing to date and looks being a factor,they are about equal. I personally would have higher standards in looks for girls who I was going to date ,than just have sex with. And my mates are similar.
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    (Original post by Ministerdonut)
    In terms of who they will have sex with men are not as shallow as women. If you are talking about who men and women are willing to date and looks being a factor,they are about equal. I personally would have higher standards in looks for girls who I was going to date ,than just have sex with. And my mates are similar.
    hmm. I think I agree with you. But a lot of women find it insulting that some men would sleep with them, but not date them, because a lot of us wouldn't sleep with men we wouldn't want to date- if that makes any kind of sense!
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    (Original post by QwentyJ)
    Mate, you must know some seriously worrying females. In your case, I think this is the exception. I've never met any woman who places such an emphasis on height.
    That's exactly what I've been trying to explain, but no one believes me!!!
 
 
 
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