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    (Original post by roar:))
    I never realised how hard it was to be perfect all the time.
    She did come up and talk to me a few minutes ago. She was saying that she wants to be able to trust and believe in me. She says she does believe I can do it she just finds it hard because of what the out come might be. She was also saying that nearly everytime I try and do something it always ends up with someone being hurt, My brother also came over and was talking to Sarah and was starting to have a go at her. Then he got told my dads and Sarahs side and he came and told me I needed to respect her. What is bothering me is that Sarah is going away till about Saturday or Sunday (can't remember) and she is leaving early in the morning (I probably wont see or hear her get up.) I don't want her to go away with me in her bad books. When she goes away I want her to say how much she loves me and how much she is going to miss me. I bet she is thinking thank God I am going to be away from her
    You don't have to be perfect all the time, no normal person is. You need to start changing slowly, so that things improve in the long run. There is no quick solution to this.
    The fact that she can and talked to you is a very good sign. It shows that she cares (she said she wants to trust you). She is scared of the outcome, probably because she doesn't want to get hurt, which again shows that she does care.
    Write her the letter and put in in her bag. That way, she will have a bit of time to think things over. Explain how you are trying to change, because you do love her, but that you sometimes find it hard. Say that you understand why she might find it difficult, but that you really do want things to change. Explain that all you want to do is feel loved.
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    (Original post by roar:))
    I never realised how hard it was to be perfect all the time.
    She did come up and talk to me a few minutes ago. She was saying that she wants to be able to trust and believe in me. She says she does believe I can do it she just finds it hard because of what the out come might be. She was also saying that nearly everytime I try and do something it always ends up with someone being hurt, My brother also came over and was talking to Sarah and was starting to have a go at her. Then he got told my dads and Sarahs side and he came and told me I needed to respect her. What is bothering me is that Sarah is going away till about Saturday or Sunday (can't remember) and she is leaving early in the morning (I probably wont see or hear her get up.) I don't want her to go away with me in her bad books. When she goes away I want her to say how much she loves me and how much she is going to miss me. I bet she is thinking thank God I am going to be away from her
    I thought you meant your little step-brother and I was so surprised! Haha.
    I'm sure she isn't thinking that at all. The fact she came to talk to you shows she hasn't given up on you, she wants to give things a go, just like you do.
    Did you say sorry? Because if you didn't, set your alarm early tomorrow, say sorry to her and 'have a nice trip' and then give her a hug. If you don't think you'll wake up, make her a card or note saying thanks and sorry and enjoy your trip and push it under her door tonight, or in the kitchen when she leaves it. I'm sure it will mean a lot to her, especially as she can think on the journey. Say some more personal stuff if you like too.
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    (Original post by roar:))
    I told her the only reason I used to act out as much as I did was for the attention, I never got as much when I didn't act out, I want her to know I love her. What is bothering me is that Sarah is going away till about Saturday or Sunday (can't remember) and she is leaving early in the morning (I probably wont see or hear her get up.) I don't want her to go away with me in her bad books. When she goes away I want her to say how much she loves me and how much she is going to miss me. I bet she is thinking thank God I am going to be away from her

    Now, I don't want to sound pessimistic or hurt you - but I think you should take smaller steps. I know that you want her to love you but please don't be hurt if she doesn't say all the things you want to hear by tomorrow (I assume she's leaving tomorrow?). Take smaller steps and be patient - and don't react by getting angry And don't put yourself down by thinking that she's happy that you're going to be away - it's only going to make you feel even worse and even more angry.

    If you want her to think better of you before she leaves, I'd suggest writing her a very honest letter about how you feel and giving it to her before she leaves. In that way, you'll have told her what you want and she'll have time to think about it before she comes home. At the end of the letter you could ask her if you two could talk about everything after she comes back.
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    Sounds like you are struggling emotionally with having a new parental figure in your life. Talk to her like an adult and try and get closer to her. Do you worry that she is trying to replace your mother. She sounds like she is trying to show discipline in front of her son. You should start respecting this women as she has took you on and she is trying her best.


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    (Original post by nombo)
    I thought you meant your little step-brother and I was so surprised! Haha.
    I'm sure she isn't thinking that at all. The fact she came to talk to you shows she hasn't given up on you, she wants to give things a go, just like you do.
    Did you say sorry? Because if you didn't, set your alarm early tomorrow, say sorry to her and 'have a nice trip' and then give her a hug. If you don't think you'll wake up, make her a card or note saying thanks and sorry and enjoy your trip and push it under her door tonight, or in the kitchen when she leaves it. I'm sure it will mean a lot to her, especially as she can think on the journey. Say some more personal stuff if you like too.
    I didn't catch her this morning but what I am going to do is get welcome home banners and ballons and me and my step brother are going to her her a teddy that is holding a heart saying I Love You Mummy. My dad is going to see if Sarah is free on Saturday night (She is coming home then) so the two of us can maybe talk and rent a film to watch. I also bought a I am sorry card which I will give to her when she comes back. In the beginning of July we break up from school and Sarah is going to try and take a few days off
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    (Original post by hugofinelioze)
    Now, I don't want to sound pessimistic or hurt you - but I think you should take smaller steps. I know that you want her to love you but please don't be hurt if she doesn't say all the things you want to hear by tomorrow (I assume she's leaving tomorrow?). Take smaller steps and be patient - and don't react by getting angry And don't put yourself down by thinking that she's happy that you're going to be away - it's only going to make you feel even worse and even more angry.

    If you want her to think better of you before she leaves, I'd suggest writing her a very honest letter about how you feel and giving it to her before she leaves. In that way, you'll have told her what you want and she'll have time to think about it before she comes home. At the end of the letter you could ask her if you two could talk about everything after she comes back.
    I didn't catch her this morning but what I am going to do is get welcome home banners and ballons and me and my step brother are going to her her a teddy that is holding a heart saying I Love You Mummy. My dad is going to see if Sarah is free on Saturday night (She is coming home then) so the two of us can maybe talk and rent a film to watch. I also bought a I am sorry card which I will give to her when she comes back. In the beginning of July we break up from school and Sarah is going to try and take a few days offhttp://static1.tsrfiles.co.uk/6.3.1/...lies/smile.png I might be able to skype her tonight so hopefully I will be able to speak to her before Saturday, I actually miss having her around.
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    (Original post by roar:))
    I didn't catch her this morning but what I am going to do is get welcome home banners and ballons and me and my step brother are going to her her a teddy that is holding a heart saying I Love You Mummy. My dad is going to see if Sarah is free on Saturday night (She is coming home then) so the two of us can maybe talk and rent a film to watch. I also bought a I am sorry card which I will give to her when she comes back.
    In the beginning of July we break up from school and Sarah is going to try and take a few days off http://static1.tsrfiles.co.uk/6.3.1/...lies/smile.png I might be able to skype her tonight so hopefully I will be able to speak to her before Saturday, I actually miss having her around.
    Banners and balloons might be a bit OTT, but a card saying that you missed having her around might hit the spot. Btw, if you want to have a proper talk with someone, an activity without distractions (eg, a country walk) is better than a film. But if you just want a bit of bonding, a film is just the job.
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    (Original post by Pastaferian)
    Banners and balloons might be a bit OTT, but a card saying that you missed having her around might hit the spot. Btw, if you want to have a proper talk with someone, an activity without distractions (eg, a country walk) is better than a film. But if you just want a bit of bonding, a film is just the job.
    My dad told me not to get that banners and ballons, I am putting a little poster outside the door saying "Welcome home mum" on with fancy writting it also has a pic of me, my step brother, Sarah and my dad so it is basically a familly picture. Were going on a big familly walk on Sunday so that means my older brother and his fiancee and child aswell. Sarah was saying that we can walk at the back and have a matture conversation. The flim is just for a bonding thing really. I have got a little I am sorry card and I am giving her the teddy to go with it. I hope she will be in a good mood when she gets back from her trip now!
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    (Original post by roar:))
    Whos Barney Stinson?
    how i met your mother
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    (Original post by Ronove)
    I cannot believe you threw a piece of toast with butter and jam on it at someone's face. What a ****ing idiot you are.
    If you think that was immature, when I was watching a film with Sarah she fell asleep, I said that she looked cute sleeping and I though about the time I fell asleep and my brother drew a moustache on me. Me and my dad were joking around and we both drew one on Sarah. Since Sarah, my dad and I were involved it counted as a family acitivity She was a bit mad at first but then found it funny after a while. I guess its just the way are family is
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    There are lots of things on life we just don't like. We all hold opinions and thats where conflicts start. I used to have this with my parents all the time the whole stop treating me like a child thing I guess it is harder for you not being your biological parent but in hindsight weirdly enough I can see my parents were right (I was a bit of an arse). This is probably going to come out a little insulting but you are still a child I know you probably feel that you are all grown up but you are not and there is still a lot to learn. When you enter the real world there will be lots of people with rules you have to follow but don't like that is how it works. In order to get along in life rules are made (and trust me I am 18 and still feel like a child and have few committments and responsibilities so I am not afraid to say in many aspects I am). I rarely argue with my parents anymore their rules haven't changed but to an extent I have. It sucks but sometimes suck up and get used to it. In the future you will have an employer to listen to with rules to follow who won't be your parent either but the rules still stand. I am sorry you are not happy but nor was I and I am now and have a fantastic relationship with my parents I honestly wish I had been more like my older brother a few years back and I would have saved myself a lot of trouble ( he's the nice child) and would apologise and the argument would end when I would keep it going a few days. I have been locked outside, in a conservatorty, made to sit in a corner and in a shed. I have been grounded for a day, a week, a month and have had my door taken off the hinges until I tidied up. ( and I cant say i did anything except speak to them rudly, not tidy up or not do somethong I was told to) However none if this has happened in the past 4 years and to be honest if I was them I would have lost my temper long ago. It sounds stupid but apologise and try to follow the rules at the end of the day have you considered your step mother had to follow rules once? I leave home in September for uni and I kind of wish I could stay at hpme and not think about paying the bills organising my time and having someone around to.push be to work when I just can't be bothered. Try talking (not having a go at) your step mother and she may we explain why she has her rules and punishments. It wont help you to hear this now but give it a few years and you will see it could have been worse. Again I am sorry you are unhappy and I am not trying to have a go at you but your life will be happier and easier if you.find out why the boindaries are as they are (as for cussing and a three year old bad idea I can see exactly why she doesn't like that)

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    (Original post by Pastaferian)
    Banners and balloons might be a bit OTT, but a card saying that you missed having her around might hit the spot. Btw, if you want to have a proper talk with someone, an activity without distractions (eg, a country walk) is better than a film. But if you just want a bit of bonding, a film is just the job.
    The film was perfect for bonding. Sarah was tired and fell asleep. Origianlly in my family before Sarah if I ever fell asleep my brother or dad would draw a moustache on me, I mentioned this and my dad got a marker. It was funny but it is a family activity in a way because all of us were involved! Sarah was a bit mad when she saw. Were going on a walk today I will get to have a talk with Sarah and when the conversation about me calling her mum and stuff is over I will propably beg for a dog again!
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    (Original post by roar:))
    The film was perfect for bonding. Sarah was tired and fell asleep. Origianlly in my family before Sarah if I ever fell asleep my brother or dad would draw a moustache on me, I mentioned this and my dad got a marker. It was funny but it is a family activity in a way because all of us were involved! Sarah was a bit mad when she saw. Were going on a walk today I will get to have a talk with Sarah and when the conversation about me calling her mum and stuff is over I will propably beg for a dog again!
    sweet

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    (Original post by roar:))
    The film was perfect for bonding. Sarah was tired and fell asleep. Origianlly in my family before Sarah if I ever fell asleep my brother or dad would draw a moustache on me, I mentioned this and my dad got a marker. It was funny but it is a family activity in a way because all of us were involved! Sarah was a bit mad when she saw. Were going on a walk today I will get to have a talk with Sarah and when the conversation about me calling her mum and stuff is over I will propably beg for a dog again!
    I'm not sure it's the right time for asking for a dog. Remember you said that Sarah and her sister suspected your motives for being nice? You want her to realise that you really are trying to change, rather than just doing it to get a dog. Plus, with a new baby on the way, a dog might be a bit too much for the family.

    Can I also say, haven't just read through this thread today, keep at it. You seem to have been trying really hard, and it's actually quite moving how much you want to get along with you step-mum.
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    (Original post by PythianLegume)
    I'm not sure it's the right time for asking for a dog. Remember you said that Sarah and her sister suspected your motives for being nice? You want her to realise that you really are trying to change, rather than just doing it to get a dog. Plus, with a new baby on the way, a dog might be a bit too much for the family.

    Can I also say, haven't just read through this thread today, keep at it. You seem to have been trying really hard, and it's actually quite moving how much you want to get along with you step-mum.
    Thanks I do love my step mum. I would love it if her family and if Sarah would let me call her mum with out thinking I am after something. My dad knows how much I want a dog, I have been begging for one ever since I was 5. My step brother wants a dog now so at least I will have another person on my side when it comes to asking and soon it will be 3 against 2 I guess I will wait till after baby is born. I don't want to catch Sarah in the middle of one of her mood swings again!
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    (Original post by jadpan)
    There are lots of things on life we just don't like. We all hold opinions and thats where conflicts start. I used to have this with my parents all the time the whole stop treating me like a child thing I guess it is harder for you not being your biological parent but in hindsight weirdly enough I can see my parents were right (I was a bit of an arse). This is probably going to come out a little insulting but you are still a child I know you probably feel that you are all grown up but you are not and there is still a lot to learn. When you enter the real world there will be lots of people with rules you have to follow but don't like that is how it works. In order to get along in life rules are made (and trust me I am 18 and still feel like a child and have few committments and responsibilities so I am not afraid to say in many aspects I am). I rarely argue with my parents anymore their rules haven't changed but to an extent I have. It sucks but sometimes suck up and get used to it. In the future you will have an employer to listen to with rules to follow who won't be your parent either but the rules still stand. I am sorry you are not happy but nor was I and I am now and have a fantastic relationship with my parents I honestly wish I had been more like my older brother a few years back and I would have saved myself a lot of trouble ( he's the nice child) and would apologise and the argument would end when I would keep it going a few days. I have been locked outside, in a conservatorty, made to sit in a corner and in a shed. I have been grounded for a day, a week, a month and have had my door taken off the hinges until I tidied up. ( and I cant say i did anything except speak to them rudly, not tidy up or not do somethong I was told to) However none if this has happened in the past 4 years and to be honest if I was them I would have lost my temper long ago. It sounds stupid but apologise and try to follow the rules at the end of the day have you considered your step mother had to follow rules once? I leave home in September for uni and I kind of wish I could stay at hpme and not think about paying the bills organising my time and having someone around to.push be to work when I just can't be bothered. Try talking (not having a go at) your step mother and she may we explain why she has her rules and punishments. It wont help you to hear this now but give it a few years and you will see it could have been worse. Again I am sorry you are unhappy and I am not trying to have a go at you but your life will be happier and easier if you.find out why the boindaries are as they are (as for cussing and a three year old bad idea I can see exactly why she doesn't like that)

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    Sarah says I set her son bad examples. The thing is I only did it for attention. After I had been put in the corner she would hug me and I liked it when she would. Now I really want to call Sarah mum and I wish she would say she loves me more. When I messed up big time before she went a way (I also scared her by calling her mum) I was scared she was going to be happy about being away from me. I am fine now and she said she will try and spend more time with me
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    I know it was but Sarah should know by now not too fall asleep during bonding time especially if there is a marker close by!!!
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    (Original post by roar:))
    I thought there was freedom of speech not freedom of speech but if you say bad stuff you go in the corner. She is horrible I get put in the corner for other stuff as well and afterwards I have to apologise. I once had to do it when her stupid sister was over and it was embarressing I am 13 not 3 like her son
    I agree that she shouldn't put you in the corner, talk to your dad and see if you can get her to stop treating you like a child, but also make sure not to use bad words, and especially not in front of the child. Don't worry about it too much, its probably really annoying, but if you act like an adult then she'll have to treat you like one. And about her having a baby, think of it in a good way, you can treat her children as if they were your real blood siblings and have a good relationship with them, so what if you dont like her? Just tolerate her and then she'll have nothing to complain about Good luck, you can do this!
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    (Original post by roar:))
    How do I show her with out her taking the baby from me? She wont even let me watch my step brother for extra money. she says that I am not patient enough to look after them. I am. My step brother just gets on my nerves a lot more than my niece does. Every now and then I go and spend the weekend with my brother and I look after my niece then and he always says how good I am.
    How do I show sarah if she wont barley let me touch my niece?
    I was reading through the rest of the thread and I saw this. The first step to make her trust you is to be mature in other areas. If she already doesn't trust you to look after the kids, she's not suddenly going to let you babysit when you asked, because she doesn't trust you yet. You need to earn her trust in other ways first. For example, help with the dishes, household chores, etc. Try and have a nice, polite conversation with her sometimes, like how was your day? or something like that, to build your relationship. And try not to misbehave, if you do then sincerely apologize, and try to learn from the mistake. It's difficult but you've got to put your angry feelings aside and try to make the relationship work.
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    (Original post by jadpan)
    There are lots of things on life we just don't like. We all hold opinions and thats where conflicts start. I used to have this with my parents all the time the whole stop treating me like a child thing I guess it is harder for you not being your biological parent but in hindsight weirdly enough I can see my parents were right (I was a bit of an arse). This is probably going to come out a little insulting but you are still a child I know you probably feel that you are all grown up but you are not and there is still a lot to learn. When you enter the real world there will be lots of people with rules you have to follow but don't like that is how it works. In order to get along in life rules are made (and trust me I am 18 and still feel like a child and have few committments and responsibilities so I am not afraid to say in many aspects I am). I rarely argue with my parents anymore their rules haven't changed but to an extent I have. It sucks but sometimes suck up and get used to it. In the future you will have an employer to listen to with rules to follow who won't be your parent either but the rules still stand. I am sorry you are not happy but nor was I and I am now and have a fantastic relationship with my parents I honestly wish I had been more like my older brother a few years back and I would have saved myself a lot of trouble ( he's the nice child) and would apologise and the argument would end when I would keep it going a few days. I have been locked outside, in a conservatorty, made to sit in a corner and in a shed. I have been grounded for a day, a week, a month and have had my door taken off the hinges until I tidied up. ( and I cant say i did anything except speak to them rudly, not tidy up or not do somethong I was told to) However none if this has happened in the past 4 years and to be honest if I was them I would have lost my temper long ago. It sounds stupid but apologise and try to follow the rules at the end of the day have you considered your step mother had to follow rules once? I leave home in September for uni and I kind of wish I could stay at hpme and not think about paying the bills organising my time and having someone around to.push be to work when I just can't be bothered. Try talking (not having a go at) your step mother and she may we explain why she has her rules and punishments. It wont help you to hear this now but give it a few years and you will see it could have been worse. Again I am sorry you are unhappy and I am not trying to have a go at you but your life will be happier and easier if you.find out why the boindaries are as they are (as for cussing and a three year old bad idea I can see exactly why she doesn't like that)

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    Sarah was really good today, I wasn't feeling well and was sick. She didn't get annoyed (she wont be wearing a certain pair of shoes for a while!) I got cleaned up and she made my bed nice and warm. She tucked me in and told me a story like she does with my step brother. People may say I am a bit old for that but I enjoyed it. In the afternoon she gave me her iPad so I could watch some films off it. She also has bought a new film for me. I am feeling better now, Sarah was saying if she feels that I am not well enough for school tomorrow she will take another day off work, In a way I am feeling bad because she has to take days of work, how do I stop feeling so bad?
 
 
 
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