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How do girls feel about being approached in the street? watch

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    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    There's nothing wrong with talking to strangers at all, I talk to strangers all the time. In the shop, at the bus stop, sitting outside a cafe. Its a good, friendly thing to do.

    But I never approach strangers specifically with the intention of luring them into a sexual encounter with a series of complements. That's just creepy.


    If your first line includes a personal comment, the law would probably consider that harassment. If there is no real reason for you to talk to this person: eg they are the other side of the street in full stride, the law would probably consider that harassment as well.
    Lol what law is this that makes a random complement on the street harassment?

    I think your problem is that the only intention you can imagine for talking to someone is to lure them to bed when for a vast majority, it's not the case. They might just want to be friends initially and then if they both consent, it can escalate into a relationship if they want.

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    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    You keep making this about me. This isn't about me, I am simply reflecting the views of victims on in-street sexual harassment back to you.
    If at any point I've made this about you, it's because you seem keen on treaty every encounter on the street as harassment, which I find pretty stupid. And you haven't been just reflecting the views of victims, because I doubt many victims think that every person who wants to speak to them is going to cut them up and rape them. Unless you can prove me wrong.

    Once again, there is a difference between street harassment and striking up a well-mannered conversation in the street. I understand how victims may feel threatened by people coming to talk to them, but that doesn't change the fact that approaching someone on the street WITH RESPECT is not harassment.
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    (Original post by Eva.Gregoria)
    Lol what law is this that makes a random complement on the street harassment?

    I think your problem is that the only intention you can imagine for talking to someone is to lure them to bed when for a vast majority, it's not the case. They might just want to be friends initially and then if they both consent, it can escalate into a relationship if they want.

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    So when OP asks "How do girls feel about being approached in the street?", did you think he meant asked for directions?


    "I'm going to go up and approach this complete stranger and see if he will be my friend" said no-one ever.

    We're talking about men approaching women for the purposes of obtaining sex. That is what this conversation is about. If you want to talk about something different, start another thread.
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    Depends on the setting tbh. Nothing wrong with approaching women in a bar or club, street is abit extreme. If the woman finds you attractive at first sight, though, then it's fine. Pretty much russian roulette.
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    (Original post by Ade9000)
    If at any point I've made this about you, it's because you seem keen on treaty every encounter on the street as harassment, which I find pretty stupid. And you haven't been just reflecting the views of victims, because I doubt many victims think that every person who wants to speak to them is going to cut them up and rape them. Unless you can prove me wrong.

    Once again, there is a difference between street harassment and striking up a well-mannered conversation in the street. I understand how victims may feel threatened by people coming to talk to them, but that doesn't change the fact that approaching someone on the street WITH RESPECT is not harassment.
    So how would you approach someone "with respect"? Give us an example.

    Lets say you're walking down the street, on the other side a woman is walking in the opposite direction. Explain to us how you would approach her "respectfully".
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    For some of the guys saying `girls say they find it creepy but actually love it` how arrogant of you to think you know what someone actually wants! Theres a fine line between that and to quote thicke saying `i know u want it` stop assuming u know what ppl want

    As to the question i usually find it awkwarf because i dnt really know how to respond to compliments and also cos i always say im not interested. If the guy seens decent i guess it can b flattering (if he seems like someone who has standards) if its aomeone desperate its a bit like getting getting approached at a nightclub - dnt find it flattering at all cos theyre just looking for a quick lay and anyone will do

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    I obviously can't speak for every girl out there, but I'd be creeped out. It bothers me when guys just stop me in the street to ask for my number or try to converse with me. If I'm walking in the street, I'm probably on my way somewhere.
    Then I say 'no' and they either don't respect the fact that I don't want to talk to them or their tune suddenly changes and I'm a ***** or frigid or ugly or whatever other insults they feel like throwing at me.
    A lot of girls are afraid of guys approaching them because of how badly some guys react when you turn them down. We don't owe you a conversation.

    There was a day I was once walking through town on my way to work and a guy stopped me and asked to chat. I said no and carried on walking and he followed me the whole way to work screaming obscenities at me. It was terrifying and I had to sit in the staff canteen for the first half hour of my shift because I was so shaken.

    If it was in a bar or a party or something, I'd be okay with it as long as the guy was respected my right to say no. If I was out with my friends, I might find it a bit rude to be interrupted.

    I was once sat down at a table in a bar with a few friends and these two guys literally just came over and sat with us and tried to talk. When we asked them to leave because we were having a girls night, they point blank refused and kept trying to hit on us. We left the bar.
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    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    So when OP asks "How do girls feel about being approached in the street?", did you think he meant asked for directions?


    "I'm going to go up and approach this complete stranger and see if he will be my friend" said no-one ever.

    We're talking about men approaching women for the purposes of obtaining sex. That is what this conversation is about. If you want to talk about something different, start another thread.
    So talking to someone in a queue or in a pub for the intention of obtaining sex is much better?

    I see no difference between the two.

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    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    So how would you approach someone "with respect"? Give us an example.

    Lets say you're walking down the street, on the other side a woman is walking in the opposite direction. Explain to us how you would approach her "respectfully".

    Cross the road, after you walk ahead of her to get a good distance in front of her. Turn around, smile and say 'Hi. Can I talk to you for a minute?' If she declines, you move on.

    That simple.
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    (Original post by Eva.Gregoria)
    So talking to someone in a queue or in a pub for the intention of obtaining sex is much better?

    I see no difference between the two.

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    Don't mind him. He doesn't seem to grasp the definition of harassment.
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    (Original post by Ade9000)
    Cross the road, after you walk ahead of her to get a good distance in front of her. Turn around, smile and say 'Hi. Can I talk to you for a minute?' If she declines, you move on.

    That simple.

    That sounds scary. A bloke follows you, overtakes you and then sudennly turns round to confront you. I can't imagine many women would enjoy that experience. She'd probably scream and run the opposite direction. That or spray you with mace.

    I hope to god you'd only do this in daylight and not down a secluded street.
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    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    That sounds scary. A bloke follows you, overtakes you and then sudennly turns round to confront you. I can't imagine many women would enjoy that experience. She'd probably scream and run the opposite direction. That or spray you with mace.

    I hope to god you'd only do this in daylight and not down a secluded street.
    That's one way of looking at it. She could also be quite receptive to this.

    Actually I do this all the time....
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    (Original post by Eva.Gregoria)
    So talking to someone in a queue or in a pub for the intention of obtaining sex is much better?

    I see no difference between the two.

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    There is a really rather obvious difference, in that talking to someone in a queue you're already standing right next to them, so its perfectly natural to strike up a polite conversation to pass the time, talking to people in a socially gregarious environment like a pub is generally seen a a normal thing to do, particularly if you're already sitting near them or standing next to them at a bar.

    Whereas when directly walking up to someone in a street, you're clearly specifically after something. You don't make polite small talk with someone walking in the opposite direction.


    Just to clarify, in any of these situations if you opened with an inappropriately flirty line, that would be unacceptable. But at least in a queue or a pub you might just be a normal person acting a a respectable manner. Whereas there a a few reasons why you might attempt to strike up a conversation with a complete stranger in the middle of the street, none of them good.
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    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    Probably, yes.

    I hope this dissuades you from harassing people in future.

    I see with some relief from a previous post that you're not actually guilty of this offence, but please don't start.
    Nope. Not at all. You know why? Because that's not harassment.
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    (Original post by Ade9000)
    That's one way of looking at it. She could also be quite receptive to this.
    And I guess you don't really care about the possibility of scaring the living **** into a complete stranger for no good reason?

    Actually I do this all the time....
    No you don't, you said previously you had only ever talked to strangers at bus stops.

    So in one of those two posts, you were lying to us.
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    (Original post by Ade9000)
    Nope. Not at all. You know why? Because that's not harassment.
    Save it for the jury.
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    I'd feel a bit awkward and probably think they were a little creepy, asking for my number when I don't know them and vice versa. However, if they chatted for a while before-hand and we got along well, I may considering giving them my number if they asked
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    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    And I guess you don't really care about the possibility of scaring the living **** into a complete stranger for no good reason?
    Actually I do my best not to alarm others. I will admit that my suggested approach could go pear-shaped, but is that due to harassment? No, that's due to fear of harassment. Honestly here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harassment

    No you don't, you said previously you had only ever talked to strangers at bus stops.

    So in one of those two posts, you were lying to us.
    I was being sarcastic. I thought it was pretty obvious. I even purposly left the emoticon so you would catch on.
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    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    Save it for the jury.
    Quite a story to tell the inmates

    'What you in for?'
    'Stabbed a girl. You?'
    'I said hello to a girl on the street'
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    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    That sounds scary. A bloke follows you, overtakes you and then sudennly turns round to confront you. I can't imagine many women would enjoy that experience. She'd probably scream and run the opposite direction. That or spray you with mace.

    I hope to god you'd only do this in daylight and not down a secluded street.
    You must be trolling. No woman would scream and run in the opposite direction because a guy randomly started talking to then unless she has existing mental issues :lolwut:

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