Ladies! Will you be changing your name when you get married? Poll. Watch

Poll: Would you change your name after marriage?
Yes (81)
55.48%
No (46)
31.51%
I don't want to get married (19)
13.01%
beaverhausen
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#141
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#141
I'd only change it if it flows well with my first name and that's only because my full name flows quite well and sounds good for when/if I get my doctorate (:

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PeachButterfly96
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#142
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#142
I would probably have it double-barreled so I still get to keep my surname.
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randdom
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#143
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#143
I got married three years ago and changed my name to my husbands. I also changed the name I work under and the name that I have registered with my professional body. I did spend a lot of time thinking about the options for what to do with my name.

I decided quite quickly against double barrelling mostly because the combination of our two names is really silly. I also considered just keeping my maiden name however I grew up in a family where my married parents each kept their own name and I didn't like the fact that my mum had a different name to me. I also don't have a huge issue with taking my husbands name as I don't have a real attachment to my maiden name (very common).

At the end of the day none of these are huge reasons but they tipped the balance to me choosing to change my name. I haven't regretted it since and it has made things easier since having our son as I have the same surname as him.
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RachaelBee
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#144
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#144
I hate my surname so yes. My brother is jealous I'm a girl who can just get married and take a different surname, because, you know, finding someone to marry is soooo easy! That said, if I did a significant amount of work using my maiden name I may keep it for work.
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RachaelBee
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#145
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#145
(Original post by randdom)
I decided quite quickly against double barrelling mostly because the combination of our two names is really silly. I also considered just keeping my maiden name however I grew up in a family where my married parents each kept their own name and I didn't like the fact that my mum had a different name to me. I also don't have a huge issue with taking my husbands name as I don't have a real attachment to my maiden name (very common).
I love silly double barrelled names! My friend suggested me and my ex got married to become the 'Bland-Munton's which is clearly horrific.
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randdom
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#146
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#146
(Original post by RachaelBee)
I love silly double barrelled names! My friend suggested me and my ex got married to become the 'Bland-Munton's which is clearly horrific.
Ours would have been colour-type of food!
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anarchism101
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#147
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#147
I quite like the idea of picking an entirely new name. Avoids this issue and symbolises a new part of life beginning.
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pickup
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#148
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#148
(Original post by joker12345)
Thanks for the correction, however, in the bit you quoted you can still see how that applies to only spouse or civil partner. If you're not married you get nothing. If you're unmarried but have children, I suppose it'll go to the children anyway and you can get your share back from them - but what if you don't have kids yet? THen you've got no rights.
Yes, I'm sure there are ways around all these things without marriage, but simply marriage does it all for you. So why not get married, and just do things how you want (keep your name if you want, etc)?
What I meant to express was the fact that marriage does not do it all for you. Whether you are married or not you need to write a will.

Married people, because the rules of intestacy preclude the spouse from inheriting all the estate and of course give no indication of any specific gifts. Unmarried people of course need to write a will to express their wishes. On the other hand marriage may stop you from leaving your estate where you will as a spouse may appeal through the courts if they are excluded.

In monied families assets are often held within trusts which may be there precisely to stop a spouse inheriting the capital and thus alienating it from the family.

In addition nowadays people may have property abroad and marriage, will or no will, may not help you at all as the rules of that country will apply. So, in France, I believe, the property goes to the children. British people often expect that inheritance rules are the same abroad as here and it comes as nasty shock when they discover they are not even in ex colonies.
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kpwxx
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#149
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#149
(Original post by pickup)
What I meant to express was the fact that marriage does not do it all for you. Whether you are married or not you need to write a will.

Married people, because the rules of intestacy preclude the spouse from inheriting all the estate and of course give no indication of any specific gifts. Unmarried people of course need to write a will to express their wishes. On the other hand marriage may stop you from leaving your estate where you will as a spouse may appeal through the courts if they are excluded.

In monied families assets are often held within trusts which may be there precisely to stop a spouse inheriting the capital and thus alienating it from the family.

In addition nowadays people may have property abroad and marriage, will or no will, may not help you at all as the rules of that country will apply. So, in France, I believe, the property goes to the children. British people often expect that inheritance rules are the same abroad as here and it comes as nasty shock when they discover they are not even in ex colonies.
The point though is that, since most people don't have a will when they get married, the marriage makes a difference. It changes it from your partner gets nothing to your partner gets something. I believe the original post being discussed had said that marriage makes no legal difference to anything.

Xxx

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DeceitfulDove
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#150
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#150
For me it's not a choice between dad's name or partner's name because my mother wasn't willing to give me my father's surname so I have the surname of my mother, her mother, and her mother. I kind of like that. Four generations.

But yeah, I'll take the name of the man I want to marry.
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ChaoticButterfly
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#151
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#151
(Original post by anarchism101)
I quite like the idea of picking an entirely new name. Avoids this issue and symbolises a new part of life beginning.
Hmm, never thought of that before.

Talk about being different

Thatn would be quite cool actually.
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kpwxx
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#152
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#152
(Original post by ChaoticButterfly)
Hmm, never thought of that before.

Talk about being different

Thatn would be quite cool actually.
My husband suggested this but he'd only come up with joke names

Xxx

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ChaoticButterfly
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#153
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#153
(Original post by anarchism101)
I quite like the idea of picking an entirely new name. Avoids this issue and symbolises a new part of life beginning.
wait a min.... Does this mean anarchism101 is female? :eek:
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ChaoticButterfly
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#154
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#154
(Original post by kpwxx)
My husband suggested this but he'd only come up with joke names

Xxx

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What's up with the kisses?:kiss:
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Ronove
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#155
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#155
(Original post by ChaoticButterfly)
wait a min.... Does this mean anarchism101 is female? :eek:
The idea is that the couple picks a new name for them both to change to so I don't think it's a suggestion that anarchism101 is female.

I've briefly thought about the idea (the new name), but I really can't think of one that would sound both normal enough and special/meaningful enough for us to change our names for it. It just feels like stealing someone else's name, or picking one randomly that can't possibly be 'the best' out of all the possible names. I think especially that it wouldn't work here in Denmark - we would likely want a Danish name (well, I'm assuming that we would, anyway), and they're mostly patronymic. Let's say my other half's name is Hansen (it's not) - while there hasn't been a 'Hans' in his family in living memory, it would seem weird to change our names to Jespersen or Mathiesen instead - who the **** is this Jesper or Mathias we're naming ourselves after? My dad is called Peter, shall we call ourselves Petersen? (Answer: No, because that would be creepy and my other half's dad is not called Peter, obviously).
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kpwxx
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#156
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#156
(Original post by ChaoticButterfly)
What's up with the kisses?:kiss:
I end every post with kisses, it's like part of my signature... Unless I really dislike someone's posts. Partly it's habit. Also, it shows that I don't have a malicious intent with messages that are part of debates or question something, since it's so easy to misread intent on a forum but it would be a bit odd to only add them to posts that were ambiguous and not those which are clearly nice.

Xxx
Now I'm self conscious about it!!!

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ChaoticButterfly
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#157
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#157
(Original post by kpwxx)
I end every post with kisses, it's like part of my signature... Unless I really dislike someone's posts. Partly it's habit. Also, it shows that I don't have a malicious intent with messages that are part of debates or question something, since it's so easy to misread intent on a forum but it would be a bit odd to only add them to posts that were ambiguous and not those which are clearly nice.

Xxx
Now I'm self conscious about it!!!

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:sad:

I thought I was getting special treatment.
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kpwxx
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#158
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#158
(Original post by ChaoticButterfly)
:sad:

I thought I was getting special treatment.
At least it means I don't really dislike your posts!

Xxx

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