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Being told to smile or "cheer up luv" on the street by men watch

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    It was a problem whilst working in retail but I genuinely was hungover most of the time.
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    If someone younger than me was looking seriously depressed on the Tube I might ask them if they were all right; probably wouldn't do it to girls, though, or on the street.
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    (Original post by Birkenhead)
    Complete and utter balls. Where is your evidence that this happens more to women than to men, for starters?
    Anecdotal. I don't know a woman this has happened to, it's happened to very few of the men i've asked about it. I would bet money that it happens far more often to women than men. Maybe the thread needs a poll.
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    (Original post by LeaX)
    It always happens when you're alone as well. Always gross middle aged men whilst I'm down an underpass or something. It's disgusting and scary and I feel like most men wouldn't understand why it's so inappropriate. Walking alone you're always on guard for being attacked - mobile phone up your sleeve, walking quickly through an underpass, picking routes which go along main roads rather than through woods and stuff, thinking about how you could use your school bag containing your heavy biology textbook to defend yourself, etc.
    When you're in that frame of mind you don't want to be noticed by any men, so their comments make you realise that they see you and they don't respect you.

    I haven't really had this from younger men though. Like I've been on a train carriage by myself filled with young (18-25 ish) drunk football fans coming home from a match and had more respect.




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    Or they can't read minds.
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    (Original post by Ruthless Dutchman)
    Ever attempted to make a pterodactyl screech at guys who do that? Lemme know how that goes
    Oh how I wish I could rep that :rofl:

    PRSOM
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    (Original post by ChaoticButterfly)
    Or they can't read minds.
    If they can't read minds maybe they soundn't tell random people in the street to cheer up?

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    (Original post by gemmam)
    If they can't read minds maybe they soundn't tell random people in the street to cheer up?

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    That is true.
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    Actually on the NCS course, 2 girls said the exact same thing to me while stood there waiting for my mate...soooo
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    Perhaps if they weren't so unhappy in their own lives for being attention-seeking ignoramuses they'd be able to let a pretty girl walk past them without making neanderthal comments. As long as you're happy, who gives a damn what they think?

    Remember, the only guy who smiles all the time is this guy.




    (Original post by DeadGirlsDance)
    Anyone else really fed up with being constantly told to cheer up or to smile by complete strangers? It always seems to be scummy old men or chavs who feel like they can say this :indiff:

    I used to find it funny and awkward but it's happening most times I go out now. It's especially annoying because I'm actually really happy. Are we just meant to be walking along the street grinning all the time? :rolleyes:

    Have any guys had this happen to them? Is it only men that say this or has a woman said something similar to you?
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    (Original post by pocahontas lol)
    First off: I don't like your use of the word "chav." I am very much in love with a man who was called that when he was young. It's not funny, or cute. Do as you please but so will I addressing it.

    Anywho: yes, I always get this. It is actually the nicest thing a random guy you don't know or aren't interested in can say. I've got:

    "Come on, smile baby." And his friend said, "Nah, we just gotta MAKE her smile." I'm like :lolwut: but I ignore them and just keep walking. Nothing good can come of responding. But it's better than the other **** I've been told by strange men :laugh:
    I'm sure you don't need to protect the feelings of your chav boyfriend, he'll live.
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    (Original post by ChaoticButterfly)
    Or they can't read minds.
    I mean I would assume that the average man would know that if you see a young girl alone it's best to just let her be than make a comment which is perceived as scary. If they have enough of an understanding to recognise that, to them, she looks sad or upset even more reason to leave her alone lol...
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    (Original post by LeaX)
    I mean I would assume that the average man would know that if you see a young girl alone it's best to just let her be than make a comment which is perceived as scary. If they have enough of an understanding to recognise that, to them, she looks sad or upset even more reason to leave her alone lol...
    Yes but a lot of people are idiots. It doesn't mean they are deliberately disrespecting you. They just don't realise how annoying or intimidating it can be.

    I get why women are intimated by men in places like underpasses, I mean I don't exactly feel comfortable walking past a group of chavy looking youths, it just kind sucks knowing whenever I walk past a woman in one of these places I just know she is probbaly worrying whether or not I will attack her
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    (Original post by ChaoticButterfly)
    I get why women are intimated by men in places like underpasses, I mean I don't exactly feel comfortable walking past a group of chavy looking youths, it just kind sucks knowing whenever I walk past a woman in one of these places I just know she is probbaly worrying whether or not I will attack her
    That's the thing -- No one can tell who's threatening and who isn't just by looking at them. This is why these comments on the street are threatening to women: it's impossible to tell if the guy making the comment is a nutter or not. It's too much of a risk to give everyone the benefit of the doubt.
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    (Original post by ChaoticButterfly)
    Yes but a lot of people are idiots. It doesn't mean they are deliberately disrespecting you. They just don't realise how annoying or intimidating it can be.

    I get why women are intimated by men in places like underpasses, I mean I don't exactly feel comfortable walking past a group of chavy looking youths, it just kind sucks knowing whenever I walk past a woman in one of these places I just know she is probbaly worrying whether or not I will attack her
    Well I think I can speak on behalf of all women when I say that we would rather be in your shoes worrying about being perceived negatively rather than worrying about being raped or murdered...
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    Never have and probably never will.

    *checks my male privilege*
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    (Original post by LeaX)
    Well I think I can speak on behalf of all women when I say that we would rather be in your shoes worrying about being perceived negatively rather than worrying about being raped or murdered...
    I didn't say otherwise. I agree it is much better to be in my position.

    It's still not nice knowing you are being perceived as potential rapist on a semi regular basis though, even if it is worse having to worry about being raped.

    (Original post by Viceroy)
    That's the thing -- No one can tell who's threatening and who isn't just by looking at them. This is why these comments on the street are threatening to women: it's impossible to tell if the guy making the comment is a nutter or not. It's too much of a risk to give everyone the benefit of the doubt.
    I know. Which is why I said "I get why women feel like that"

    Still doesn't mean I can't dislike the fact women will see me as potential threat. Even if I understand why they do.
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    (Original post by bittr n swt)
    Never have and probably never will.

    *checks my male privilege*
    You check that privilege :sly:
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    Hahah I've been told this a few times, usually by old men tbh. I don't really get it. Most of the time I'm quite content and when someone says that it kinda annoys me. And if I am actually sad then it annoys me even more. Sometimes I don't want to ****ing cheer up, I think in my head while smiling sweetly.
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    Oh my god if only I could do a pterodactyl screech, what genius!

    It really pisses me off when people do this, nobody should tell me what emotions I should be feeling or what facial expressions I should be pulling, it's patronising bull**** and the fact that it's almost exclusively men telling women how their appearance should be just adds up to = extreme inner RAGE.

    I'm usually in a decent mood until I get told to cheer up, ironically. Seriously, whoever thinks this is sweet just... stop it. Stop it now. If you can't resist saying it, you could perhaps try kicking yourself in the shins right afterwards, as that actually would cheer me up quite a bit.
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    (Original post by ChaoticButterfly)
    I didn't say otherwise. I agree it is much better to be in my position.

    It's still not nice knowing you are being perceived as potential rapist on a semi regular basis though, even if it is worse having to worry about being raped.



    I know. Which is why I said "I get why women feel like that"

    Still doesn't mean I can't dislike the fact women will see me as potential threat. Even if I understand why they do.
    Yeah it would be upsetting really thinking that people are scared of you even when you aren't doing anything to warrant it

    I judge people by their height and body weight so I guess shorter men won't get that sort of assumption. I walk through an underpass every day and I always try to run through it (with my phone away) and looking in the curved mirror to see if anyone is in the underpass.
 
 
 
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