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    lol no. wouldn't ever want to speak to that person again
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    (Original post by молодой гений)
    I'm in this dilemma right now. Boyfriend slept with someone when he was abroad, planned it for ages, etc. Says he's sorry, will do anything etc etc, but I just can't make myself... I dunno. It's hard.
    This happened to me last summer.
    Get rid, he's not worth it.
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    (Original post by ubi1)
    Men are more polygamous than women? Yes or no?

    They are more prone to desiring more women just as much as women desiring to have the best partner. I didn't accept cheating on any gender just that men are more prone to it.
    If women weren't so readily labelled 'sluts' for sleeping around, and if men weren't so readily praised as 'lads' for sleeping around, you'd see that the balance of promiscuous people vs chill monogamy-preferring people would be pretty even for everybody.

    There's nothing special about men that makes them more cheat-prone. If anything, women get more offers for casual sex than men - in my experience, anyway - meaning that they're the ones more likely to have one-offs, simply because they have more opportunities.

    Splitting behaviour evenly into 2 gender boxes is inane. My most promiscuous friends are 2 girls and 1 guy, and they do it because they're young and hormonal and just into it, or whatever. Not because of what bits they've got in their pants.
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    (Original post by Queen Cersei)
    So are you saying that if someone can't forgive a cheating partner this is because they don't truly love them? Not being funny, just haven't heard this point of view before.
    Of course,if they loved then they would forgive.Same for cheating,if they 'loved' there would be no cheating.Love is just a word,it's like 'peace' or 'honesty' but they don't exist in reality.
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    This happened to me about 3 months ago, it was my first long term relationship and he got tempted invited one of his friends around and they slept together. After weeks I forgave stupidly because I couldn't imagine life without him however it only happened again and it was the biggest wake up call I will ever have. Unfortunately no matter what you try and believe the person who has cheated will never you change and you will never be able to trust them. No matter what they say they will never truly love you otherwise they wouldn't have cheated.
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    (Original post by RoyalMarine)
    Of course,if they loved then they would forgive.Same for cheating,if they 'loved' there would be no cheating.Love is just a word,it's like 'peace' or 'honesty' but they don't exist in reality.
    You mean it's more of a concept than a reality? I would agree with you there, I think the reality of love never quite matches up to what it is expected to be.
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    (Original post by xylas)
    What is it with girls and their feeling of self-worth?
    well it'd make a girl feel as if she wasn't enough for the guy, no? Whatever they had built together just disappeared like that. If he's there telling other girls that he'll be there for them and does things for them, he should've been honest with the first one, rather than leading her on.

    It happened to my sister, he kept leading her on, until he finally realised that he was still in love with his cousin... After three years of a relationship... You dont know how sad she was and still is when he said that. Kinda pisses you off once you listen to that story as well :lolwut:
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    Cheating leaves so many mental scars on a person and a relationship. Even if you forgive them you would always be asking why. Am I not good enough? Am I just unattractive? Does she just fake it?, the kind of paranoia and self doubt and insecurity it leaves would ruin relationships for me for a long time. No way I could stay with that person I would go insane, and this is before actually thinking about the fact she was with another guy and the sheer anger and pain that comes with that.

    If they cheat then they are gone from my life. I really don't care about a reason, I personally think that people that cheat should have the same punishment as murderers, a bullet through the head is less painful.
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    Forgiving cheating is for the weak, for people who are scared of change rather than wanting the best in life for themselves. Id never forgive as you never forget.
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    Never. I could never take them back again, even if it was a one-off.
    If I'm in a relationship with you, and you want to sleep with another person, then break up with me, don't do it while I'm still with you. Cheating doesn't make any sense. I don't understand why people do it.

    Look at Katie Price and Keiran Hayler, how much of a fool is she for taking him back, *****es about the women he slept with yet he gets away scot free.
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    once a cheater always a cheater
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    If you get bored in sexual life with a person, but everything else is fine, then cheating is fine, if noone else knows.
    • #3
    #3

    If it were me, I wouldn't forgive him. I know people who have been cheated on an unacceptable amount of times in the past and they are still with that person who did it to them, and they are miserable because it's always at the back of their mind. She still feels worthless, 5-6 months after it all coming out and after countless apologies from him.

    If he wants her he can have her, If he loses his loyal wife for part time temporary lust then that's his loss. It is always hard for the person who is being hurt to see that they are better off without the cheater, but they need to be encouraged that it is worth it in the end. that 'man' (if you can call him that) is certainly not worth the time or effort that could have been invested in someone loyal and truly loves her.

    If he is doing such a thing to his wife then he clearly isn't happy himself so he should just man up and face up to the problem rather than making the situation worse and even more hurtful.

    I say this with past experiences of douchey boyfriends and my mums affair. So trust me I know!
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    Depends on the circumstances. There's a big difference between a drunken one night mistake that he tells me about straightaway and a long standing affair with my best mate and I catch them in the act after he denies the rumours.
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    I value trust as VERY important in friends, if they break that then we're not friends.

    Similar for a girlfriend. She's gone.

    I don't care if it was a one off or she was drunk she's gone.

    I'm not gonna second guess everything she says and where she goes.
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    I did forgive but he just cheated on me again with the same girl after saying he was so sorry and it would never happen again. Unfortunately I can't seem to get over it, its not even like we were in a bad place when it happened the first time, we were happy, or so I thought. A picture actually appeared on Facebook of them at the same party at news years, killed me inside. But I've learnt my lesson to never forgive a cheater.
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    Long term it would never work. You can't trust anyone any more and there is no point trying IMO. If you let it happen you are selling yourself short.
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    Forgiveness is between them and God. It's my job to arrange the meeting.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
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    (Original post by Illegal Algebra)
    Forgiveness is between them and God. It's my job to arrange the meeting.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Love it.

    I'd lose my **** if my girl even kissed a random guy on a night out and was feeling the guilt. I'm scared to think what I'd do if she slept with some one else. WooSsah!!!
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    I was with a boy who cheated on me at the very start of our relationship. I forgave him and he cheated again a year and a half later ...then I grew the balls to break up with him.
    It's caused trust issues for my current relationship however, as I had no idea the first boyfriend had cheated until he told me 3 weeks later. Its crazy how easily cheating on someone can be hidden.
    I really hope I'll learn to trust again and I finally think I'm getting there with my current boyfriend.
    It's really tough though, I'd always said 'if someone cheated I'd end it' but when it comes to it, and the situation is contextualised it seems like the right thing to try again and forgive the 'mistake'.
    It's definitely made me more aware though, do you think I'll ever be able to truly trust someone again? I don't want it to hinder my current relationship
 
 
 
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