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    (Original post by shazy2014)
    Yep - should I tell you what I would do? If I found someone I liked, not through dating, but just general knowing. I'd either tell him to speak to my parents, or I would tell him if he would like to get engaged. If he wouldn't then I wouldn't bother with him anymore.
    Yeah thats exactly what i do now just normal friends no touching and all ill tell them the same or well in my case if i can speak to the parents, but tbh i am waiting now after that incident i felt closer to allah because i felt like it was one of those 'i told u so' moments where i didnt listen. Thankfully we never did anything apart from hugs and simple touching not even a kiss so im happy
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    (Original post by hayderm)
    So this is primarily to all Muslim guys/girls however i know what most guys will say im more interested in the girls opinions.

    we are all hormonal no doubt and thankfully we have had the will to hold them down this long. But since we have uni then finding a job then masters or whatever and all that.

    Would you get married during University/Right after, given its your choice (i know some cultures get involved in someones marriage) and you like the person, even though you might both not be financially stable yet? Or would you prefer to secure a home/job ,etc first?

    I know some who marry early to avoid zina for example. but i was wondering the majorities perspective on this?

    EDIT: Heres my opinion,

    18 now (as of the date posted) and i want to get married to someone mature if possible during Uni, finish then move in together but the chances of that are slim, so if not then ill focus for a couple years to secure a home and a job, then ill be searching so maybe around 25+
    To get married based of the need to have sex etc is seriously not a good reason to get married. There are consequences if you make such quick decisions based of hormones.

    Honestly, depends on how someone has been raised and their parents etc.
    If i find someone suitable to get married at uni (finding a spouse at uni is also very unlikely btw) anyway i will have to get to know them for at least two years or so depending on the person before jumping into such a huge thing like marriage.

    Marriage isn't something to play with or to get over sand done with, it's a pretty huge decision. Get married for the sake of wanting to spend the rest of your life with that person not for the purpose of just getting it over with.

    If i want to marry someone, my parents and i have a great understanding and they would say yes even if we are both not quite financially stable.
    I don't think money should stop anyone from getting married.
    I think it all depends on whether you initially even find someone in the first place, because that's what would determine the rest.

    I don't think you have to be financially stable to get married though, just perhaps not have kids early would be wiser.
    Good luck
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    (Original post by hayderm)
    Yeah thats exactly what i do now just normal friends no touching and all ill tell them the same or well in my case if i can speak to the parents, but tbh i am waiting now after that incident i felt closer to allah because i felt like it was one of those 'i told u so' moments where i didnt listen. Thankfully we never did anything apart from hugs and simple touching not even a kiss so im happy
    that's good then at least its like an eye opener though.
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    (Original post by oh my diddy!)
    Wow sister hanwar. So within the next 3 years. Never knew you were so eager

    Do you think it will really happen while youre still at university tho?

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Lol idk.
    I think I'll be studying for a long time that's why.
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    Marrying at 30 fam and I'm a girl.
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    I would marry when i'm financially, emotionally, spiritually and intellectally stable lol so it could take a while.
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    (Original post by Ghaniza)
    To get married based of the need to have sex etc is seriously not a good reason to get married. There are consequences if you make such quick decisions based of hormones.

    Honestly, depends on how someone has been raised and their parents etc.
    If i find someone suitable to get married at uni (finding a spouse at uni is also very unlikely btw) anyway i will have to get to know them for at least two years or so depending on the person before jumping into such a huge thing like marriage.

    Marriage isn't something to play with or to get over sand done with, it's a pretty huge decision. Get married for the sake of wanting to spend the rest of your life with that person not for the purpose of just getting it over with.

    If i want to marry someone, my parents and i have a great understanding and they would say yes even if we are both not quite financially stable.
    I don't think money should stop anyone from getting married.
    I think it all depends on whether you initially even find someone in the first place, because that's what would determine the rest.

    I don't think you have to be financially stable to get married though, just perhaps not have kids early would be wiser.
    Good luck
    You deserve me rep. And yes sorry if i seemed like a sex anticipating guy, desire control is not a problem i have my methods and i generally do want to get married for that friend to live with forever more than anything else, i personally would never want a divorce and be happy eternally so when it comes to choosing, sexual desire is moved to the back of the priorities list. And i would want to get to know eachother for at least a year i would say too

    Thanks alot for the priceless advice though!
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    (Original post by Hajar4eva)
    Hope you have a happy marriage in shaa allah
    Aww Shukran! That's very nice of you. Best wishes for you too!
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    (Original post by shazy2014)
    that's good then at least its like an eye opener though.
    Yeah it really was, we have time so we dont need to rush haha
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    (Original post by hayderm)
    You deserve me rep. And yes sorry if i seemed like a sex anticipating guy, desire control is not a problem i have my methods and i generally do want to get married for that friend to live with forever more than anything else, i personally would never want a divorce and be happy eternally so when it comes to choosing, sexual desire is moved to the back of the priorities list. And i would want to get to know eachother for at least a year i would say too

    Thanks alot for the priceless advice though!
    No worries.
    Lol now it's made a lot clearer that you want to get married for the sake of marriage only, which is great. I think that's how it should be, i feel like there are so many obstructions in today's society like getting money etc that it stops people from getting married. Unfortunately.
    It shouldn't be like that though, i hope you find your soul mate, God willing.
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    (Original post by BrokenLife)
    Aww Shukran! That's very nice of you. Best wishes for you too!
    thanks habibti Wanted to ask btw when your getting an arranged marriage can you have like a list of what you want and then you choose based on the list or is it some other way?
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    (Original post by HAnwar)
    Lol idk.
    I think I'll be studying for a long time that's why.
    i think quantum loves you
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    (Original post by Rollsreus)
    Yeah the wait is a killer, im engaged kind of but my parents dont let me get married yet lol. They think im too young.
    you're kind of engaged? how does that work..
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i think quantum loves you
    Astagfirullah.

    Too bad the feeling's not mutual.
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    (Original post by Hajar4eva)
    thanks habibti Wanted to ask btw when your getting an arranged marriage can you have like a list of what you want and then you choose based on the list or is it some other way?
    No worries. And yes you can. However, in my case my parents asked me what I looked for in a man and I told them
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    (Original post by Ghaniza)
    No worries.
    Lol now it's made a lot clearer that you want to get married for the sake of marriage only, which is great. I think that's how it should be, i feel like there are so many obstructions in today's society like getting money etc that it stops people from getting married. Unfortunately.
    It shouldn't be like that though, i hope you find your soul mate, God willing.
    I wish the same for you too, it really os a shame most of us loose it at uni because of all the temptation but theres no other way i guess better to marry later and be mature than go through loads of divorces. Money has also become a large issue although i think it shouldnt aswell
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    (Original post by HAnwar)
    Astagfirullah.

    Too bad the feeling's not mutual.
    I think jameel loves you
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    (Original post by BrokenLife)
    No worries. And yes you can. However, in my case my parents asked me what I looked for in a man and I told them
    ahh ok then cool 👍 x
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I think jameel loves you
    Can't even tell the difference tbh.
    • #5
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    (Original post by HAnwar)
    Can't even tell the difference tbh.
    I think i love you
 
 
 
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