Muslim TSR users, should I marry this man? Arranged Marriage

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Thank god I am not within a religion that someone has to decide who I marry!! I am sorry I just find it really sad for girls that are forced into marriage.

I think you misunderstood, forced marriages are impermissble in Islam. There is a DIFFERENCE between an arranged marriage and a forced one.

I find it sad too and oppresive for girls who are forced into marriage.

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Reply 141

Anonymous #1

Original post by urbanlocations

Thank god I am not within a religion that someone has to decide who I marry!! I am sorry I just find it really sad for girls that are forced into marriage.

im not forced and arranged marriages are from culture. forced marriages are not allowed in islam

Reply 142

urbanlocations

Original post by Anonymous

im not forced and arranged marriages are from culture. forced marriages are not allowed in islam

Oh I have seen many programs that are very the opposite... In fact the dad said if the girl did not marry this certain man she would be disowned.

She had to run away from the family.

I mean it is kind of forced...as what choice do some girls have>>

Reply 143

soIiIoquy

I think you should do it as after all your dad only wants whats best for you, he would never do something to hurt you in anyway and he sounds like a decent guy :smile:

but think about it as this will be your future ahahah

Reply 144

Jamie S

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Spoiler

Reply 145

Anonymous #1

Original post by urbanlocations

yeah but just bc theyre muslim doesnt make it from the religion. ive seen muslim child rapists on the news but doesnt mean its from Islam

Reply 146

Carrot_Cake_13

What ethnicity are you?

Reply 147

abc101

Original post by Anonymous

can all the people against the idea of arranged marriage not comment , i wrote this for the purpose of Muslims to give me advice. i dont need your western 21st century comments.

Oh God no, heaven forbid anyone give any advice that isn't backward and moronic!

Reply 148

Studentxoxo

TBH ultimately you know yourself, your life, your experience and who you are. So if you think its the best option then go for it but dont go in blind, think carefully about the whole situation and as someone mentioned do istikhara which will further help you. Aswell as this, work on yourself as a person as you mentioned you are slowly trying to improve and personally I think marriage is about growing together as people so don't think you have to have every little thing sorted before marriage. Make dua and think about everything before you make a choice :smile:

Maybe visit any other family member you feel comfortable with, find someone in your area that can give you advice (someone mayb motherly figure who will give you advice on the basis of Islam) InshaAllah everything will work out for the best, stay smiling either way beautiful x

Reply 149

CAPTAINSHAZAM

Original post by Anonymous

i just wanted general advice and opinions from muslims. i dont have anyone else to talk about it and its easy off anon. im pretty confused whether i shoudl or not so people could give me good points :smile:

I actually doubt whether youre serious, first off no one is gonna give you "good points" it isnt something to tick off marriage is half of your deen asking this sort of a question on a website named "student" room shows youre not ready. You shouldnt even expect any sort of sensible answer when no one even knows the circumdtances. You need to someone from the masjid get advice from those close by, not on a website that essentially is used for things centered around a studentlife. Marriage at 18 isnt one

Reply 150

CAPTAINSHAZAM

Original post by Sae.HH

Everyone has some 'intention' of marriage, it's called thinking about the future. Practically most people want to know each other for at least two years before seriously considering it so from a religiously conservative (or not conservative depending on your view) point of view most relationships these days are haram.

Yeah my parents wouldn't accept anyone who isn't even Bengali specifically. Unfortunately for them I don't really care who I marry so statistically they're f***** :colonhash:

In relation to your first point, i think nowadays getting to know someone is more important than ever just because of the women today being so modernised divorce so common etc Marriage has lost its meaning so getting it right is essential. I dont think there would be much wrong in going on "dates" aslong as nothing haraam as such went on mainly used as a get know sort of thing. OP needs to seek advice from someome knowledgeable not TSR

Reply 151

username2041985

Original post by urbanlocations

ummm......if parents choose then they ask their daughter she can accept or reject, parents give them the choice. I'm 20...not 'forced' into a marriage....in university and I think you are getting mixed up with culture...

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 152

HucktheForde

Original post by Jamie S

Spoiler

Making people do stupid things since 1393 bce

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Reply 153

Josb

Original post by Anonymous

can all the people against the idea of arranged marriage not comment , i wrote this for the purpose of Muslims to give me advice. i dont need your western 21st century comments.

What are you doing on TSR then?

Reply 154

Josb

Feminists, where are you?

Reply 155

ivybridge

Original post by Anonymous

i cook and clean in the house as it is and understand the principles of being a good housewife in islam and understand the duties of being a wife.

Two things from me:

I). This was deeply troubling for me to read - I'm not going to lie. Live your life the way you want to live it, your faith is personal but you shouldn't be oppressed by some belief in a being who may or may not exist. You should be able to be happy in the ways in which you wish to be so.

II). If you have to posit this question on an online forum, you should know the answer is already, "no" because this stands for how little you know him. Committing to someone you don't even know? Really? You're insane.

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 156

sairaaas

Original post by muslimstanisyed

If he is from different culture dont do it sister.
Not worth it in the long run

now you're just bringing culture over religion, nothing wrong with marrying someone of a different culture

Reply 157

sairaaas

Original post by urbanlocations

Thank god I am not within a religion that someone has to decide who I marry!! I am sorry I just find it really sad for girls that are forced into marriage.

Islam is against forced marriages. you'd know that if you did your research properly

Reply 158

urbanlocations

Original post by sairaaas

Islam is against forced marriages. you'd know that if you did your research properly

How come in the UK there are hundreds of charities that help muslim girls get out of forced marriage then?

Why is the government trying to put something in place to stop it happening... I think you are in a deluded world :smile:

Reply 159

Anonymous #3

Original post by sairaaas

Islam is against forced marriages. you'd know that if you did your research properly