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Just discovered my girlfriend used to be a man Watch

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    (Original post by Lord of the Flies)
    Oh so you decide whether you want children with your partner on/before the first date? Please. If being/not being sterile is one of the things you need to know of before dating someone, then you're going to go through some pretty unsatisfying dates mate.
    My personal philosophy has never made me suffer in the past, I'm not going to become an egalitarian to appease kids on the internet and given the high levels of divorce in modern society, I think I am right and you are wrong.
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    (Original post by kirigiri;66238729


    [i
    )

    transwoman = woman. transwomen are real women. [/i]


    stop trying to be a smartass - she is a woman. end of. to say she is a man, or to call her a he, is absolutely disrespectful and there is no way around that.
    (also - see intersex)
    Calm down. Just answer the question, please . Direct your anger into forming an answer to my question. Is he/she a male, female, or both? Stick to the topic. This is about a male who identifies as a woman who lied to the OP who is also a biologically a male. This is not about a person with ambiguous privates. Let's look at the definition of real, shall we?

    Real:
    re·al1ˈrē(ə)l/adjective
    1. 1.actually existing as a thing or occurring in fact; not imagined or supposed."Julius Caesar was a real person"synonyms:actual, nonfictional, factual, real-life;
      More
    2. 2.(of a substance or thing) not imitation or artificial; genuine."the earring was presumably real gold"synonyms:genuine, authentic, bona fide;
      More
    Now, does having an artificial boobies and an inside out penis qualifies as genuine? Are you sure what "real" actually means? Look above to refresh your memory. Now take all the time you need to think deeply about this. Try your best not to let your emotions swayed your opinion. I wouldn't want you to feel rushed into giving an answer.
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    (Original post by Mike_91)
    Alright so me and my girlfriend has been together now for over two years but only recently had I discovered she used to be a man.

    I was in the bar with her brother and we were getting drunk and when he is drunk he has a tendency to tell the truth, which is exactly what he did. He asked me 'are you gay' and when I replied 'no', he then said 'then why are you dating a former guy'. I thought this was a joke until he went into further detail and I left and confronted my girlfriend, who at first lied until her brother came around and forced her to admit it before leaving. My girlfriend explained that she was unhappy and thought about killing herself, which was when she began to cry. I called her a 'freak' before adding our relationship was over and left her house.

    Its now been two weeks and though our relationship is truly broken and it makes me feel sick to think of her as a man, I still care.
    There's nothing wrong in having a relationship with that kind of person if you love them very much, but they shouldn't of kept something this big a secret, especially after 2 years. It was wrong to do that and he-she clearly did not love you enough to be truthful, so I'd say it was a good thing for you to end the relationship.
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    How didn't you notice ? You did the right thing by the way


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    (Original post by kirigiri)
    no, its not a preference. transwomen are women. thats it. if you wont date a transwoman because she is trans, thats transphobic. not all transwomen even have penises.


    then you respect that?


    oh dont be a dumb twit. thats not the meaning of phobia in this context and if you had two bloody brain cells youd know it. consider it to be the same type as in homophobia (and if youre going to argue thats a fear too, im afraid youre beyond saving)
    and "every other rational male"? ouch. give males more credit than that. most of them are better than you.


    transwoman = woman. transwomen are real women.


    stop trying to be a smartass - she is a woman. end of. to say she is a man, or to call her a he, is absolutely disrespectful and there is no way around that.
    (also - see intersex)
    I am transphobic then because I won't date a trans"woman". I won't change that, sorry. I would call them a 'he' as well because I believe they are still men.
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    (Original post by SmileyVibe)
    Calm down. Just answer the question, please . Direct your anger into forming an answer to my question. Is he/she a male, female, or both? Stick to the topic. This is about a male who identifies as a woman who lied to the OP who is also a biologically a male. This is not about a person with ambiguous privates. Let's look at the definition of real, shall we?

    Real:
    re·al1ˈrē(ə)l/adjective
    1. 1.actually existing as a thing or occurring in fact; not imagined or supposed."Julius Caesar was a real person"synonyms:actual, nonfictional, factual, real-life;
      More
    2. 2.(of a substance or thing) not imitation or artificial; genuine."the earring was presumably real gold"synonyms:genuine, authentic, bona fide;
      More
    Now, does having an artificial boobies and an inside out penis qualifies as genuine? Are you sure what "real" actually means? Look above to refresh your memory. Now take all the time you need to think deeply about this. Try your best not to let your emotions swayed your opinion. I wouldn't want you to feel rushed into giving an answer.
    Thats savage, theres no way you can come back kirigiri
    • #4
    #4

    (Original post by Trapz99)
    I am transphobic then because I won't date a trans"woman". I won't change that, sorry. I would call them a 'he' as well because I believe they are still men.
    Don't listen to her nonsense, just because you don't want to date a transgender woman doesn't make you homophobic
    • #4
    #4

    (Original post by kirigiri)
    no, its not a preference. transwomen are women. thats it. if you wont date a transwoman because she is trans, thats transphobic. not all transwomen even have penises.


    then you respect that?


    oh dont be a dumb twit. thats not the meaning of phobia in this context and if you had two bloody brain cells youd know it. consider it to be the same type as in homophobia (and if youre going to argue thats a fear too, im afraid youre beyond saving)
    and "every other rational male"? ouch. give males more credit than that. most of them are better than you.


    transwoman = woman. transwomen are real women.


    stop trying to be a smartass - she is a woman. end of. to say she is a man, or to call her a he, is absolutely disrespectful and there is no way around that.
    (also - see intersex)
    Spoiler:
    Show
    You're pretty oblivious believing transgender women are a real female
    • #8
    #8

    Why would any man want to date a fake unattractive trans"woman" when they date a real woman who is a million times more beautiful. Trans women are not beautiful because, guess what, they are not real women- they a re still men pretending to be women. It's just a fact and people like kirigiri just can't deal with that fact.
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    (Original post by SmileyVibe)
    Calm down. Just answer the question, please . Direct your anger into forming an answer to my question. Is he/she a male, female, or both? Stick to the topic. This is about a male who identifies as a woman who lied to the OP who is also a biologically a male. This is not about a person with ambiguous privates. Let's look at the definition of real, shall we?

    Real:
    re·al1ˈrē(ə)l/adjective
    1. 1.actually existing as a thing or occurring in fact; not imagined or supposed."Julius Caesar was a real person"synonyms:actual, nonfictional, factual, real-life;
      More
    2. 2.(of a substance or thing) not imitation or artificial; genuine."the earring was presumably real gold"synonyms:genuine, authentic, bona fide;
      More
    Now, does having an artificial boobies and an inside out penis qualifies as genuine? Are you sure what "real" actually means? Look above to refresh your memory. Now take all the time you need to think deeply about this. Try your best not to let your emotions swayed your opinion. I wouldn't want you to feel rushed into giving an answer.
    jesus, can you be any more condescending?

    you are misunderstanding what i am saying. by that definition, a cis woman who has had plastic surgery is not a real woman.
    which, i guess could be argued as true, but the "realness" of her physical attributes is not what im on about - its the validity of her gender.
    while people call cis women who havent jad plastic surgery fake, they dont say that theyre not women - they are still considered as much woman as they were before.
    what im saying is that the gender of transwomen - female - is just as valid as the gender of cis women.

    also, shes a she.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Don't listen to her nonsense, just because you don't want to date a transgender woman doesn't make you homophobic
    > homophobic
    im so glad youre reading this thread carefully and understanding it fully
    (never once did i say it was homophobic)
    • #8
    #8

    (Original post by kirigiri)
    jesus, can you be any more condescending?

    you are misunderstanding what i am saying. by that definition, a cis woman who has had plastic surgery is not a real woman.
    which, i guess could be argued as true, but the "realness" of her physical attributes is not what im on about - its the validity of her gender.
    while people call cis women who havent jad plastic surgery fake, they dont say that theyre not women - they are still considered as much woman as they were before.
    what im saying is that the gender of transwomen - female - is just as valid as the gender of cis women.

    also, shes a she.


    > homophobic
    im so glad youre reading this thread carefully and understanding it fully
    (never once did i say it was homophobic)
    What if some men don't want to date a trans woman because she looks slightly like a man? Looks matter to people and you can't deny that trans women do look different to a cis woman in terms of bone structure and everything. One can't help not being attracted to a certain type of person. And attraction is important as humans find it hard to be in a relationship with someone they are not attracted to. Is this reason transphobic and if so, why?

    Also, what if someone intends on having children? Would it still be transphobic to not want to date the trans woman?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    What if some men don't want to date a trans woman because she looks slightly like a man? Looks matter to people and you can't deny that trans women do look different to a cis woman in terms of bone structure and everything. One can't help not being attracted to a certain type of person. And attraction is important as humans find it hard to be in a relationship with someone they are not attracted to. Is this reason transphobic and if so, why?

    Also, what if someone intends on having children? Would it still be transphobic to not want to date the trans woman?
    some transwomen pass exceptionally well, and people literally dont know theyre trans until they reveal that they are. attractiveness does play a part in attraction to people, so i cant complain if someome just feels that someone isnt the right kind of attractive for them, but transwomen come in all different appearances so you cant just put them all off the table. (poor wording but idk how else to phrase)

    and yeah, that is an acceptable reason. if youre lookinh for a partner to settle down with and you absolutely want your own biological children, thats fair enough.
    (this wouldnt apply to casual dating though, as children arent a part of that)
    • #8
    #8

    (Original post by kirigiri)
    some transwomen pass exceptionally well, and people literally dont know theyre trans until they reveal that they are. attractiveness does play a part in attraction to people, so i cant complain if someome just feels that someone isnt the right kind of attractive for them, but transwomen come in all different appearances so you cant just put them all off the table. (poor wording but idk how else to phrase)

    and yeah, that is an acceptable reason. if youre lookinh for a partner to settle down with and you absolutely want your own biological children, thats fair enough.
    (this wouldnt apply to casual dating though, as children arent a part of that)
    Ah cool- I'm not transphobic then. Yay
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    (Original post by kirigiri)
    jesus, can you be any more condescending?

    you are misunderstanding what i am saying. by that definition, a cis woman who has had plastic surgery is not a real woman.
    which, i guess could be argued as true, but the "realness" of her physical attributes is not what im on about - its the validity of her gender.
    while people call cis women who havent jad plastic surgery fake, they dont say that theyre not women - they are still considered as much woman as they were before.
    what im saying is that the gender of transwomen - female - is just as valid as the gender of cis women.
    I'm not trying to be condescending. I'm just trying to get an answer out of you. You used "real" in the same sentence of "transwomen" and I just wanted to inform you the definition of real incase you didn't know. Biological women who had plastic surgery are biologically women. Its not face lifts, nose jobs, lip injections, botox, or boob jobs that define their femininity or "womanness" its, their sex organ, bone structure, attitude, and mannerisms that defines their "womanness". Biological females do not go under the knife to turn their non existent penis into intimation of vagina nor inject themselves daily with female hormones to gain breasts and periods. That's the difference between the reasons why women who do surgeries are still women while men who do surgeries are still biological males.

    Now, when you mean female are you referring to men who identify as female or are you specifically talking about biologically those who are female?
    • #9
    #9

    http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show....php?t=4201052
    On this thread you said you're 25 years old. Are you saying you're a 25 year old who abstained from sex for 2 years and never once saw your partner even in underwear or a bikini during that time? Lol.
    • #4
    #4

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show....php?t=4201052
    On this thread you said you're 25 years old. Are you saying you're a 25 year old who abstained from sex for 2 years and never once saw your partner even in underwear or a bikini during that time? Lol.
    whats so funny ? what makes you think he didn't ?
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    (Original post by Mike_91)
    Alright so me and my girlfriend has been together now for over two years but only recently had I discovered she used to be a man.

    I was in the bar with her brother and we were getting drunk and when he is drunk he has a tendency to tell the truth, which is exactly what he did. He asked me 'are you gay' and when I replied 'no', he then said 'then why are you dating a former guy'. I thought this was a joke until he went into further detail and I left and confronted my girlfriend, who at first lied until her brother came around and forced her to admit it before leaving. My girlfriend explained that she was unhappy and thought about killing herself, which was when she began to cry. I called her a 'freak' before adding our relationship was over and left her house.

    Its now been two weeks and though our relationship is truly broken and it makes me feel sick to think of her as a man, I still care.
    My (now ex) Boyfriend was a Female to Male Transgender. And I did not know him before he began his transition. And as you did not know your partner before she transitioned into her former self, so I don't see how this would be a big factor. However it is a big thing that she didn't tell you. Which perhaps she was just waiting for the right time to do so, because things like that can be hard. As bad as the situation may seem calling her a freak, simply because of who she is (and always wanted to be) will hurt her feelings, as she saw/sees you as someone who loves/protects her. You shouldn't be thinking of your girlfriend as a man, because well she's not. that may have been her assigned gender at birth but deep down she has always been the girl that you fell in love with. If anything id suggest possibly talking about the situation with her. It is a difficult thing to go through, and yes many people ask if you're gay or bi, which sometimes you do question, although you shouldn't as the persons physical appearance is that of the gender you are attracted to. If the thought of her once having been assigned the gender 'male' bothers you, the only thing I can suggest doing is talking to her about her experiences as well as doing a little research yourself because trust me it helps. It's something you tend to forget about eventually, which is slightly surprising but you do forget. I hope you can both figure out a way to be on good terms with one another and hope my very long paragraph helped in some way
    • #4
    #4

    [QUOTE=Life0fLaur;66293532]You shouldn't be thinking of your girlfriend as a man, because well she's not. /QUOTE]

    She definitely isn't a female, therefore she is a male
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    [QUOTE=Anonymous;66293952]
    (Original post by Life0fLaur)
    You shouldn't be thinking of your girlfriend as a man, because well she's not. /QUOTE]

    She definitely isn't a female, therefore she is a male
    You're using the correct pronouns go you.Yet you can't respect someone you don't even know for who they are. And here in 2016 I thought we were progressing
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    (Original post by Katiee224)
    We are all female before we are born, does it matter what gender we used to be?
    We are also only a blob of cells before we're born whats your point?

    He just found out he's dating a guy and he'sright to be damn pissed at that!
    1] It lied to him
    2] technically speaking he's actually been engaging in gay hanky panky for a while :L
    lastly] How would you like it if youre with a 'guy' and suddenly it pulls off a strap on and says taadaaa im a girl?
    Its bloody horrifying/coercive/manipulative and should be downright illegal. just because that person 'thinks' theyre something theyre not does not make it true not give them the right to gain by deception
 
 
 
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