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18 and 32 weeks pregnant. AMA.. Watch

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    (Original post by DrSocSciences)
    Bollox. It hurts like hell. And then you suddenly realise that you have a baby, and it's all ok again.

    Anyone told you yet that you'll probably poo during delivery? Just keeping it real.
    Well, in my experience, it didn't hurt that much. I had a five and a half hour labour, no pain relief other than gas and air, no tearing and was home the same day -- my pregnancy was worse than my birth!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've heard this, but it's probably a bad idea to watch all those pregnancy shows like one born every minute. Those women's screams are bloodcurdling
    Every birth is completely different. I was told the sweep wouldn't work because my son was my first - it did. I was told I'd be in labour for days because he was my first - it was over in less than six hours. I was told I'd go over my due date - he was born on his due date. I was told I was too small to have a natural birth - I did. I was told I'd definitely have an epidural - I didn't. I was told I'd probably have third degree tears from being so small - I didn't at all. And I was told I'd be in hospital for a while - I was home the same day with my perfect little bundle.
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    (Original post by Anna.Karenina)
    Well, in my experience, it didn't hurt that much. I had a five and a half hour labour, no pain relief other than gas and air, no tearing and was home the same day -- my pregnancy was worse than my birth!
    Lol. I've done it four times. You got lucky.
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    (Original post by Anna.Karenina)
    Every birth is completely different. I was told the sweep wouldn't work because my son was my first - it did. I was told I'd be in labour for days because he was my first - it was over in less than six hours. I was told I'd go over my due date - he was born on his due date. I was told I was too small to have a natural birth - I did. I was told I'd definitely have an epidural - I didn't. I was told I'd probably have third degree tears from being so small - I didn't at all. And I was told I'd be in hospital for a while - I was home the same day with my perfect little bundle.
    That's fantastic, I hope my birth goes as smoothly as yours did.
    I wanna do a natural birth too but my mum says I will probably end up getting an epi. They said I'm measuring small (although I feel huge) so I might have to be induced early
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    If your parents were not supportive do you think you'd still be able to keep it? (Since you mentioned you had a termination appointment)
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    (Original post by bluemadhatter)
    If your parents were not supportive do you think you'd still be able to keep it? (Since you mentioned you had a termination appointment)
    Yeah, If I didn't have support then I doubt I would've kept it to be completely honest. I know I still could have but it would've been 100x more difficult
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Was lazy and naive with contraception. Used it sometimes, didn't use it a lot of times and didn't get pregnant at first so we thought that him pulling out was working.

    I don't believe I've wasted my life, I have a great support system
    But you don't feel a burden on others in your life?
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    (Original post by Elastichedgehog)
    Stupid comment. Not everyone has the same plans for their life as you do. Even if this was an accident it's not necessarily a bad thing. I'm sure the baby will have a loving family and grow up just fine, especially since she's expressed she has a good support system.
    Stupid comment. It's attitudes like these that lead to unequal opportunities for kids. Even if this was intentional, a 18 year old kid that still relies on others to take care of herself, will not be able to take the same care of a baby. As I said above, at best she will be a burden on others, at worst the child will suffer.
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    (Original post by Elastichedgehog)
    My family comes from a working class background. My mother was 21 when I was born, my father 19. On top of that my mother and father got divorced when I was about 7. My mother also suffers from clinical depression.

    Both my parents remarried, with my father giving remarkably little to me, although my relationship with him is fine. I was given everything I wanted throughout my childhood and was never disadvantaged because my parents worked hard to make it so. I'm going to Sheffield to study BSc Psychology in a week.

    This kind of thinking is backward and only exists because the media and common consensus tells you should think like this. The mother will be fine. Stop trying to scare her The child will grow up just fine as long as it has parents who care about them.
    You are generalizing your own experience to everyone in this situation.
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    (Original post by yudothis)
    But you don't feel a burden on others in your life?
    Yes, I do at times
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    (Original post by yudothis)
    You are generalizing your own experience to everyone in this situation.
    My intention wasn't to generalise. It was to give my experience as an example.
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    (Original post by JRKinder)
    How do you feel knowing that, without a degree to get a high-paying job, you may struggle to fully support your child?

    (I'm not trying to attack your choice, because it is your choice at the end of the day, but I just can't help but feel that the child is going to suffer because you had it so young. I mean, you're barely old enough to support yourself, and now a child? How are you going to buy them things? How are you going to bring in money for food and rent, and care for it at the same time? I just think your decision is a bit naive, that's all).

    On a slightly lighter note, what do you plan to name him/her?
    Nope, that is BS. This maybe true in the majority of cases, but this is not true for everyone. My mum is a great example of someone who did not get a degree, can't really speak english well either but has an extreme work ethic and it has resulted in her being able to more than provide for us (that is not me bragging, it's the truth).

    People that rely on a degree being their only path to living a comfortable life financially do need to open their eyes a tad bit.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    That's fantastic, I hope my birth goes as smoothly as yours did.
    I wanna do a natural birth too but my mum says I will probably end up getting an epi. They said I'm measuring small (although I feel huge) so I might have to be induced early
    Don't pay too much attention to growth scans - they're not very accurate at all (and that's the experience of most women) I had a growth scan at 36+1 and was measuring 6lbs 10ozes - was told to expect a 9lbs + and he was 7lbs 2ozes

    Just listen to everything the midwife tells you and relax -- labour means you're hours away from your life changing forever :-)
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    (Original post by DrSocSciences)
    Lol. I've done it four times. You got lucky.
    I just listened to my midwife and relaxed as much as I could.
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    (Original post by AngloIndiaCrew)
    Delayed for 20 years? Because that is your role now, anything beyond the traditional professional father/stay at home mother is incredibly societally destabilising.
    I had my baby whilst at university. Am off to do a Msc or PGCE next September! My plans haven't been changed nor have they been derailed. And before you ask, I didn't palm my son off to anyone constantly whilst at uni; I attended for the remaining 6 weeks, and he was only away from me for four hours a week in those weeks. Since then he's been with me everywhere - always by my side.
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    (Original post by Elastichedgehog)
    My intention wasn't to generalise. It was to give my experience as an example.
    That is not how it came across at all.
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    (Original post by yudothis)
    Stupid comment. It's attitudes like these that lead to unequal opportunities for kids. Even if this was intentional, a 18 year old kid that still relies on others to take care of herself, will not be able to take the same care of a baby. As I said above, at best she will be a burden on others, at worst the child will suffer.
    What a load of crap. I can't even be bothered to put together an argument against you because your post is so offensive. An 18 year old is an adult, not a 'kid,' yes she may need support but so do majority of mothers, regardless of their age. Doesn't mean the baby is going to suffer at all. Its judgemental people like you that this world does not need, you don't know the girl and yet you're already pinning her as worst mother of the year award? Get a grip
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    (Original post by yudothis)
    Stupid comment. It's attitudes like these that lead to unequal opportunities for kids. Even if this was intentional, a 18 year old kid that still relies on others to take care of herself, will not be able to take the same care of a baby. As I said above, at best she will be a burden on others, at worst the child will suffer.
    Everybody needs help sometimes, even mothers in their 30s and 40s. I will be able to take care of my baby, thank you very much and my child will not suffer.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Everybody needs help sometimes, even mothers in their 30s and 40s. I will be able to take care of my baby, thank you very much and my child will not suffer.
    Don't listen to that idiot OP, they are talking crap. My mum had my brother at 16, me at 19 and my sister at 22. We've all turned out absolutely fine and functioning members of society. As long as you love that child and do everything in your power to give them the best life that's all anybody can do. You may struggle and be ripping your hair out at times but it will all be worth it. You don't have to give up on your own dreams, just postpone them for a little while and at your age, it's not the end of the world
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Everybody needs help sometimes, even mothers in their 30s and 40s. I will be able to take care of my baby, thank you very much and my child will not suffer.
    Some people have already posted statistics. For the sake of your child, good luck.
 
 
 
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