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Why do so many people want to get in relationships?

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    (Original post by ForestShadow)
    where abouts abroad? let me guess...franc...actually maybe germany?
    well Im almost 18 :lol: my mum cooks in my family but I can cook a bit too :innocent:

    whats this other stuff then? :holmes:

    pasta is well nice tho , and ketchup makes everything better :rofl:

    gtg to sleep!
    austria..vienna

    what can u cook?

    stuff that s not cooking

    hope they tun out fine lol

    nighty night then
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    (Original post by TorpidPhil)
    Well that's going too far lol. Like calm down.

    Nobody should take all of your time. Just you be there when you need them. Them there when you need them. Basically like a good friend is all. Clingy friends sap all your energy too. Relationships aren't meant to really be anymore intensive than that.
    I know but maybe it's just me but guys always tend to get too clingy for my liking. Maybe I just have a very low tolerance for 'cling' but it's still kind of annoying
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    (Original post by AngryRedhead)
    I know but maybe it's just me but guys always tend to get too clingy for my liking. Maybe I just have a very low tolerance for 'cling' but it's still kind of annoying
    They're probably inexperienced and not very self aware. There is some novelty to a clingy partner, but it wears off quick and when you realise why they're clingy, it's never a good reason (insecurity, usually).
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    (Original post by AlexFam)
    They're probably inexperienced and not very self aware. There is some novelty to a clingy partner, but it wears off quick and when you realise why they're clingy, it's never a good reason (insecurity, usually).
    Oh, you're back, how did the packing go?

    So have you ever been in a serious relationship personally?
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    (Original post by AngryRedhead)
    Oh, you're back, how did the packing go?

    So have you ever been in a serious relationship personally?
    Horribly. I have a giant box that nearly killed me taking it down 2 flights of stairs, and I stood barefoot on a snail outside (it was actually heartbreaking).

    Never been in a healthy one, no. Just the odd sexual relationship and one horrible relationship. The horrible one was me trying to actually fall in love with someone, but I didn't know what to look for. Haven't been looking for anyone for a while as I'm trying to build myself up first. And you? Anyone serious in Redhead's life?

    EDIT: puberty hit me like a tonne of bricks about a year ago, which is when I started seeing people. Hadn't had a relationship before last year since year 4 because I wasn't interested.
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    (Original post by AngryRedhead)
    I know but maybe it's just me but guys always tend to get too clingy for my liking. Maybe I just have a very low tolerance for 'cling' but it's still kind of annoying
    Pretty sure it is just the guys you are dating tbh.

    Traditionally at the end of the day it is meant to be the girl that is clingy with the guy, not vice versa. And that is ultimately how it most often is. So these experiences you speak of are simply odd.
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    (Original post by AlexFam)
    Horribly. I have a giant box that nearly killed me taking it down 2 flights of stairs, and I stood barefoot on a snail outside (it was actually heartbreaking).

    Never been in a healthy one, no. Just the odd sexual relationship and one horrible relationship. The horrible one was me trying to actually fall in love with someone, but I didn't know what to look for. Haven't been looking for anyone for a while as I'm trying to build myself up first. And you? Anyone serious in Redhead's life?

    EDIT: puberty hit me like a tonne of bricks about a year ago, which is when I started seeing people. Hadn't had a relationship before last year since year 4 because I wasn't interested.
    Are you moving back to university I take it? Where are you from originally? Ikr, I just hate it when I step on snails walking back home, it's just something about the 'CRUNCH' that happens that makes me feel sick and bad and sad I know its just a snail but it still makes me feel bad. Barefoot though? Did the shell not cut you?

    What happened? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to though. There's nobody serious in my life atm, I've been asked out quite a bit but they weren't really my type of guy

    Fair enough, delayed onset puberty?
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    (Original post by TorpidPhil)
    Pretty sure it is just the guys you are dating tbh.

    Traditionally at the end of the day it is meant to be the girl that is clingy with the guy, not vice versa. And that is ultimately how it most often is. So these experiences you speak of are simply odd.
    Maybe

    Perhaps they were just very unique guys lol
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    (Original post by AngryRedhead)
    Are you moving back to university I take it? Where are you from originally? Ikr, I just hate it when I step on snails walking back home, it's just something about the 'CRUNCH' that happens that makes me feel sick and bad and sad I know its just a snail but it still makes me feel bad. Barefoot though? Did the shell not cut you?

    What happened? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to though. There's nobody serious in my life atm, I've been asked out quite a bit but they weren't really my type of guy

    Fair enough, delayed onset puberty?
    EDIT: yes I'm moving back to uni
    I just think about the family that snail had. Plus, my mum has pet african snails so I feel for them y'know? Nah, shells aren't sharp enough to cut my feet (I walk a lot barefoot).

    I've been telling everyone what's happened anyway. It's long and kind of TMI.
    Spoiler:
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    She met me while she was in a relationship. She got drunk at her mum's birthday party, dumped the dude then told me she had a crush on me. She has BPD, which lead to a really intensely emotional relationship. She was really clingy, ended up getting me to give up a large part of my life and she still asked for more sacrifices from me. Lots of sex, lots of emotions etc. etc. but it was all a manipulation tactic on her part to have control over someone. She self harmed because I mentioned a previous sexual interest when we were discussing them. She often mentioned her suicide attempts. I slept around her house for 3 days basically just watching netflix and having sex the whole time. She very often told me she loved me at this point. 2 days later, she told me she didn't love me then broke up with me. 1 day later still, she told me she made a mistake and that she still loved me and went into great detail about her crying into her foods. I told her to think about it. She offered me exclusivity without an official relationship. I said sure. All sex stopped, but she was annoyed when I said I didn't want sex outside of a relationship knowing she didn't love me or want anything beyond friends at that point (really odd). Things got worse from here. She started sexting other guys, insulting me, praising me and repeating the whole thing. She publicly shamed me for calling her a ***** ("Weak willed prick" I think was what she said) after she insulted me repeatedly in front of my friends MOMENTS after being sexual and flirty with me. Things just went downhill quickly. After about a month since she first broke up with me she has a new boyfriend that she's doing the same thing to no doubt, as she has with all her previous boyfriends (I've spoken to a few of them. She even self harmed after she broke up with one trying to get him back).

    LONG STORY SHORT: I had no idea what a normal girl was like and was completely oblivious, anxious and too depressed to know anything about what I was doing. Actually, while writing this I'm happy to say that I am glad it happened. It was a valuable experience in a kind of slap you with a house-full of knowledge kind of way.

    I'm also happy to say that my anxiety is gone, as is my depression. It's been a really eye-opening part of my life to say the least.

    Not so much delayed onset as it was I lost 20+ kilos of weight, got hot and had a huge boost to my libido.
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    (Original post by AllegedLegends)
    I suppose we're different kinds of people. I feel it profoundly. In my own home I find it difficult to sleep because it's so quiet and I know I'm alone. When I visit family I sleep straight away - just because there are other people in the house, watching TV/sleeping.

    I can enjoy my own company but I don't like to be 'stuck' in my own company for prolonged periods - which is basically what living alone feels like to me. I can enjoy a good TV Drama for a couple of hours in the evening - or stuff where I'm keeping busy like cooking/laundry. But anything where I start to notice the silence is hard - reading, sleeping, early mornings. The radio is pretty good for company especially first thing in the morning when it's dark and cold - but still, even saying that feels sad to be honest.
    Have you ever thought bout pets? like a dog maybe?
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    (Original post by AngryRedhead)
    I've been asked out quite a bit but they weren't really my type of guy
    And what is your type of guy
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    (Original post by AngryRedhead)
    I imagine it must be quite difficult to find a woman who knows as much about gold as you do
    that's why gold makes a bad gift I tend to just go for silver tiffany pieces for early stages then progress over time
    my most expensive gift was to my now ex (a £3,000 Bvlgari watch which i got for £1100)
    but she just got engaged and who him sold the ring
    me and I made a £9,000 profit so that covers that expense (i also know she loves that watch nearly as much as the Rolex he bought her)
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    I want to get into a relationship because, firstly, I feel so, so, so pressured. Like you get to a certain age and if you're not in a relationship and have never had one and are still a virgin, it's a bit 'strange'. I feel pressured by family, and just by general society. It seems like absolutely eeeeeeveryone and their pet dog is coupling up these days.

    I also perhaps subconsciously view being in a relationship and having sex as being a 'proper grown-up' and makes a person 'superior'. It's silly and irrational I know but the fact I'm 18 and I don't know what sex is like and I can't really join in on those particular conversations makes me feel like somewhat of a child. Basically, I want to prove myself.

    And also, most prominently, I want to experience the euphoria of reciprocated true love at least once before I die. I get guys showing interest in me but I just don't feel attracted to any of them and it stresses me out and makes me worry that I'm 'broken'.

    Being in a relationship would relieve all of the problems above. So that's that I guess
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    (Original post by AngryRedhead)
    What is the big deal about them? Partners can be so needy/ clingy and inevitably always make lots of demands on your time and on you, physically, emotionally and financially. Can someone please explain what is so great about being in a relationship because I just don't get it. I have no desire for one either, whether I'm weird or not for that is a matter of your own personal opinion.

    I will admit that I've never been in a serious one but the ones I have been in I found quite stifling so maybe I've just been dating the wrong type? Idk.
    Yeah a lot of these bad things COULD happen in a relationship but equally a lot of good and amazing things can and do happen as well

    The bad things only really happen when you get with the wrong type, which is why it's greatly stressed to not look at things from a shallow point of view when seeking a relationship (as most men and women tend to choose people based on their looks or money first) and try finding someone who you are COMPATIBLE with even if they are not a solid 10. Because in the end that's what will count. Someone who 'gets you' is someone who will understand you enough to know what makes you happy and what makes you angry. And if they love you enough they will go to the ends of the earth to always make you happy

    Got several male friends who are like that, practically badgered a hot b i t c h y girl into dating them but always, always end up complaining in the end that she treats him like **** or doesn't love him or is cheating on him and I'm like well that's your own fault and we told you this from the beginning too but you were always like 'so what, she's hot therefore she's forgiven' lol people have no one to blame but themselves really. Choose your bed better before you make it
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    (Original post by AlexFam)
    EDIT: yes I'm moving back to uni
    I just think about the family that snail had. Plus, my mum has pet african snails so I feel for them y'know? Nah, shells aren't sharp enough to cut my feet (I walk a lot barefoot).

    I've been telling everyone what's happened anyway. It's long and kind of TMI.
    Spoiler:
    Show
    She met me while she was in a relationship. She got drunk at her mum's birthday party, dumped the dude then told me she had a crush on me. She has BPD, which lead to a really intensely emotional relationship. She was really clingy, ended up getting me to give up a large part of my life and she still asked for more sacrifices from me. Lots of sex, lots of emotions etc. etc. but it was all a manipulation tactic on her part to have control over someone. She self harmed because I mentioned a previous sexual interest when we were discussing them. She often mentioned her suicide attempts. I slept around her house for 3 days basically just watching netflix and having sex the whole time. She very often told me she loved me at this point. 2 days later, she told me she didn't love me then broke up with me. 1 day later still, she told me she made a mistake and that she still loved me and went into great detail about her crying into her foods. I told her to think about it. She offered me exclusivity without an official relationship. I said sure. All sex stopped, but she was annoyed when I said I didn't want sex outside of a relationship knowing she didn't love me or want anything beyond friends at that point (really odd). Things got worse from here. She started sexting other guys, insulting me, praising me and repeating the whole thing. She publicly shamed me for calling her a ***** ("Weak willed prick" I think was what she said) after she insulted me repeatedly in front of my friends MOMENTS after being sexual and flirty with me. Things just went downhill quickly. After about a month since she first broke up with me she has a new boyfriend that she's doing the same thing to no doubt, as she has with all her previous boyfriends (I've spoken to a few of them. She even self harmed after she broke up with one trying to get him back).

    LONG STORY SHORT: I had no idea what a normal girl was like and was completely oblivious, anxious and too depressed to know anything about what I was doing. Actually, while writing this I'm happy to say that I am glad it happened. It was a valuable experience in a kind of slap you with a house-full of knowledge kind of way.

    I'm also happy to say that my anxiety is gone, as is my depression. It's been a really eye-opening part of my life to say the least.
    Not so much delayed onset as it was I lost 20+ kilos of weight, got hot and had a huge boost to my libido.
    I doubt that snails have the capacity to feel emotion but I get what you mean, they're pretty cute for slimy mollusks and I hate causing pain to animals so it makes me feel bad when I step on one
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    Wow. She sounds like a right nutcase :hugs: I'm glad you're out of that relationship now though, that must have been a horrifying experience :/ I'm glad that your mental health issues have resolved aswell
    Congratulations! That's a lot to lose and it sounds very positive!

    (Original post by AlexFam)
    And what is your type of guy
    Sweet, intelligent, funny and moral. Preferably decent looking aswell but doesn't have to be tall or muscly
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    It's the only way most of us can get laid daily bro
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    (Original post by AngryRedhead)
    I doubt that snails have the capacity to feel emotion but I get what you mean, they're pretty cute for slimy mollusks and I hate causing pain to animals so it makes me feel bad when I step on one
    Spoiler:
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    Wow. She sounds like a right nutcase :hugs: I'm glad you're out of that relationship now though, that must have been a horrifying experience :/ I'm glad that your mental health issues have resolved aswell
    Congratulations! That's a lot to lose and it sounds very positive!



    Sweet, intelligent, funny and moral. Preferably decent looking aswell but doesn't have to be tall or muscly
    I don't think we mere humans can possibly claim to know the inner workings of our shelled brothers and sisters (or, a mixture of the two as snails are hermaphrodites)! Oh god I killed my brother/sister.
    Spoiler:
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    It was pretty good, yeah. I think the main drive was that I had just slipped a disc and was nearing 95 kilos, so I decided to not be that heavy anymore. Good news is that I'm actually much stronger now despite being closer to 70 kilos now (which is odd).

    I prefer dark chocolate. I like the bitter edge with sweet undertones. Makes it seem more genuine.
    Sounds like a dream man to me.
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    (Original post by saraxh)
    I fell for it
    I fell for her :lol:
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    (Original post by Rhaenys10)
    austria..vienna

    what can u cook?

    stuff that s not cooking

    hope they tun out fine lol

    nighty night then
    lol close enough

    I can cook chinese stir frys like chicken and veg or some seafood too, basic stuff :lol:
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    (Original post by ForestShadow)
    lol close enough

    I can cook chinese stir frys like chicken and veg or some seafood too, basic stuff :lol:
    That's still good
    I cooked breakfast today, can I get a high five?
 
 
 
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