I've lost my self, I feel like i made a big mistake

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Four things that unis think matter more than league tables 08-12-2016
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Well done. You wrecked one of the biggest muslim haters on tsr
    Lol you're pathetic. You're not even brave enough to turn off anon when you insult people.

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    for those asking;
    yes - i enjoyed the night
    no - i don't believe the hijab is compulsory
    no - i don't want to wear it
    check my post i left earlier here http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show...8&postcount=64 for more details

    i feel guilt because my parents trusted me, i told them i wouldnt mess up. they were going to pull me out for this very reason - not even, for *speculation* that i would do such a thing but i reassured them and convinced them to let me go back. i got angry, that they put me through **** based on their speculations, and figured since im getting punished for something i didnt do i might as well do it.

    but i still feel guilty. i still feel scared and judged and like a failure because everyone told my parents dont let her move out you'll lose your daughter and i proved them right. and that's why i feel like ****. but also because i know that what i want for my self is the complete opposite of what they want for me. i just feel so stuck in the middle. in my mind at least, in real life i dont have a choice. i have to live the way they want me to, or they'll find someone for me that wants that too and there goes my life. of course that's going to happen eventually anyway, so why speed it up?
    Hi, so sorry that your parents use marriage as a threat That sucks.
    I'm a Muslim as well and I can't imagine ever being in such a situation. Seems like they're mixing culture with religion. Are you South Asians by any chance?
    Also, you're not a failure <3
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    (Original post by h333)
    As I said before I said what is in Islam as she is a Muslim, I can't lie to her and say Islam says something else now can I? However, I only told her what it is and then of course it is her will to choose.....do you even know what force means? That is not force if you convey a message/advice and leave it to them to decide. That is all.
    You keep avoiding the point.

    THERE ARE PLENTY OF MUSLIM WOMEN WHO DONT WEAR THE HIJAB. I REST MY CASE. STOP ADVISING HER AND MAKING HER FEEL BAD FOR NOT DOING SOMETHING THAT YOU WANT HER TO DO AGAINST HER OWN WILL.
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    (Original post by dropoutbear)
    You keep avoiding the point.

    THERE ARE PLENTY OF MUSLIM WOMEN WHO DONT WEAR THE HIJAB. I REST MY CASE. STOP ADVISING HER AND MAKING HER FEEL BAD FOR NOT DOING SOMETHING THAT YOU WANT HER TO DO AGAINST HER OWN WILL.
    Excuse me but I have only posted to OP once on here. I know there are, but I can't lie to her and say something that is not in Islam, are you not getting this. I never said she is not a Muslim because of not wearing the hijab. Never mind. She has her own will ok. I am not forcing her.
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    (Original post by h333)
    Excuse me but I have only posted to OP once on here. I know there are, but I can't lie to her and say something that is not in Islam, are you not getting this. I never said she is not a Muslim because of not wearing the hijab. Never mind. She has her own will ok. I am not forcing her.
    "So you takong it off does not mean you will not be allowed to wear it again. We are humans after all and so we sin for silly reasons and can go astray for a while but if you feel remorse then that is a good sign"

    Your words. All of it is implicit.

    So as i said, OP clearly doesnt want to be oppressed like you do. So go preach in saudi arabia not here
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    (Original post by dropoutbear)
    "So you takong it off does not mean you will not be allowed to wear it again. We are humans after all and so we sin for silly reasons and can go astray for a while but if you feel remorse then that is a good sign"

    Your words. All of it is implicit.

    So as i said, OP clearly doesnt want to be oppressed like you do. So go preach in saudi arabia not here
    How many times have I said, I gave the advise according to Islam because she said she is a Muslim. But at the end of the day it is her own will. It is a practice within Islam she does not want to follow, which is up to her and I can't judge but Allah/God. And I posted once to her not kept saying don't, as I am supposed to just convey the message within Islam (not lie about it) and leave the rest to her. I can't force anyone.

    I am oppressed? well ok thanks for telling me, I really didn't know when I am the one choosing to follow Islam. Anyone following Islam is "oppressed", try telling to Muslims in real life. Typical, always mentioning Saudi Arabia. Your the one forcing your views on me here and telling me to leave.
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    (Original post by h333)
    How many times have I said, I gave the advise according to Islam because she said she is a Muslim. But at the end of the day it is her own will. It is a practice within Islam she does not want to follow, which is up to her and I can't judge but Allah/God. And I posted once to her not kept saying don't, as I am supposed to just convey the message within Islam (not lie about it) and leave the rest to her. I can't force anyone.

    I am oppressed? well ok thanks for telling me, I really didn't know when I am the one choosing to follow Islam. Anyone following Islam is "oppressed", try telling to Muslims in real life. Typical, always mentioning Saudi Arabia. Your the one forcing your views on me here and telling me to leave.
    You keep on ignoring the pont. She does not want to wear the headscarf so dont force it you backward thinking idiot.
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    (Original post by dropoutbear)
    You keep on ignoring the pont. She does not want to wear the headscarf so dont force it you backward thinking idiot.
    :erm: you clearly need to calm down.
    I am glad I am not the one using words like "idiot" on others. Thanks for being civilised and mature. Have a good day
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    (Original post by h333)
    I can't lie to her and say something that is not in Islam, are you not getting this.
    Then stop saying that it is compulsory to wear a hijab, because it's not in the Qu'ran.
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    (Original post by dropoutbear)
    You keep on ignoring the pont. She does not want to wear the headscarf so dont force it you backward thinking idiot.
    You need to brush up on your comprehension skills. Please go look up the definition of 'force' then carry on talking like a kid.
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    (Original post by Josb)
    Then stop saying that it is compulsory to wear a hijab, because it's not in the Qu'ran.
    Oh here we go again :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by h333)
    :erm: you clearly need to calm down.
    I am glad I am not the one using words like "idiot" on others. Thanks for being civilised and mature. Have a good day
    As someone else has pointed out. its not in the quran.

    I heard saudi arabia are quite keen on the hijab, why not join them?
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    *sigh* why do threads like this always turn into an argument about oppression and whether the headscarf is compulsory :lol:

    I don't care what other people think, I don't believe its compulsory so that is negligible to me
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Well done. You wrecked one of the biggest muslim haters on tsr
    Where did he show "hate" for Muslims?
    #9

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    *sigh* why do threads like this always turn into an argument about oppression and whether the headscarf is compulsory :lol:

    I don't care what other people think, I don't believe its compulsory so that is negligible to me
    (Going on anon, because I either get criticised by other Muslims, or other non Muslims for being honest with my advice, I can never win :lol:)

    People don't care too much if you suddenly don't wear a hijab. I know girls that have worn hijabs one day, not worn it the next. Nobody says anything, especially at uni, it's a large place and nobody really cares.

    Don't wear the hijab if you're not comfortable with it, as a Muslim there are more important things to focus on than just what you wear. I used to party and drink (so worse than you) and I'd say just try the out the experience for a bit. (Still avoid drinking, that is something I regret, alcohol is completely uncessary so definitely don't try it).

    Enjoy yourself and become more comfortable with yourself, that's what uni is about. But of course, avoid anything too sinful like drinking and pre marital sex. Enjoy yourself, but with some self discipline.
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    (Original post by h333)
    :erm: you clearly need to calm down.
    I am glad I am not the one using words like "idiot" on others. Thanks for being civilised and mature. Have a good day
    People usually resort to insults when they know they've lost the argument

    (Original post by Leukocyte)
    Oh here we go again :rolleyes:
    I find it amazing how Islamophobes think they have more knowledge than some of the greatest scholars in the world :rofl:

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    (Original post by HAnwar)
    I find it amazing how Islamophobes think they have more knowledge than some of the greatest scholars in the world :rofl:

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    Please disprove me.
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    Try not to worry and do not beat yourself up about it.

    At the end of the day it is your life and you need to do what makes you happy and what you are comfortable with.

    Im thinking of you.
    #10

    Islam is a forgiving religion and our Lord is a Merciful one.

    Man was created weak, if we were perfect then we wouldn't be human, we'd have been angels.

    If this life was perfect, it wouldn't have been earth, it would have been Jannat.

    In terms of my advice, I would say that first and foremost, come back to Allah. Repent to him, and learn to reconnect with him. In our weakest times of imaan shaytan will whisper in our ears, telling us that we are acting as hypocrites for seeking Allah's mercy, but that is not so.

    Allah is all forgiving and all merciful. Repent, from the very bottom of your heart and swear never to do it once more.

    Acknowledge that what you did was wrong, but thank Allah that it wasn't worse. Think about the positives. You now realise why Islam prohibits us from being in such environments.

    There are a number of excellent YouTube channels such as Bayinnah, and prophetspath. I would strongly recommend you watch a video or two and it might help.

    Best of luck.

    P.S One last piece of advice, this is between you and Allah. In my opinion its fine for you to have come here and posted anon requesting help, but don't let your family know. Try and keep this to yourself as much as possible. If Allah chooses to keep a cloak on your past, there's no reason for you to want to unveil that.

    Hope this helps
    #10

    P.P.S As regards "hypocrisy" if you put it back on now, that's merely shaytan's whisper. Wearing the hijab is FAR, FAR better than not wearing it at all.

    One sin shouldn't lead to an escalation of sins, rather, our sinning and our subsequent repentance is a means of making us feel really close to Allah. The fact that you feel ashamed is your imaan that's speaking.

    If you went to a club and DIDN'T feel ashamed, then that would be a far more concerning matter. See, you have that connection with Allah, and it pains you to do acts that take you away from him. So just repent, and iA everything will become better
 
 
 
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