Mental Health Support Society XVIII

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    #19

    I have decided that if people want to ignore me etc then that is their loss.
    It isn't but I shall pretend it is

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    Want a laugh? Guess who I am seeing tomorrow...my old therapist

    My GP called me to let me know my original date with my therapist was still available and that I could go to the appointment tomorrow if I want to so I have decided to go and tell her what I really feel and ask for supporting evidence from her to go along with my ESA and PIP claims. Also, found out today that its a psychiatrist I have been referred to and not a psychologist. I don't really know what to expect seeing a psychiatrist as I don't take meds, do they do therapy type things as well as prescribing meds?

    I'm assuming the therapist has been told by my GP what I have said about her so it could be a bit awkward tomorrow but I'm past caring now. I'll be as polite as I can be as I don't like hurting or offended anyone but be firm enough to get my points across. Even if she did say she will definitely do weekly therapy now, its too late for that as she just isn't the therapist for me and told me in the past she would help me find someone else if need be.
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    (Original post by Spock's Socks)
    Want a laugh? Guess who I am seeing tomorrow...my old therapist

    My GP called me to let me know my original date with my therapist was still available and that I could go to the appointment tomorrow if I want to so I have decided to go and tell her what I really feel and ask for supporting evidence from her to go along with my ESA and PIP claims. Also, found out today that its a psychiatrist I have been referred to and not a psychologist. I don't really know what to expect seeing a psychiatrist as I don't take meds, do they do therapy type things as well as prescribing meds?

    I'm assuming the therapist has been told by my GP what I have said about her so it could be a bit awkward tomorrow but I'm past caring now. I'll be as polite as I can be as I don't like hurting or offended anyone but be firm enough to get my points across. Even if she did say she will definitely do weekly therapy now, its too late for that as she just isn't the therapist for me and told me in the past she would help me find someone else if need be.
    Lots of psychiatrists also do things therapists do, albeit less frequently (people often see psychiatrists once every 2 or 4 weeks) and appointments are often shorter. But lots of people see psychiatrists without being on meds. Also, I guess that if your GP's/your idea wasn't to put you on meds, I think your psychiatrist will likely take over a psychologists function, thus seeing you more often, at least that was one of my possibilities. Psychiatrists do need to have experience in the treatment and diagnosing of mental health disorders, so they too can help in other ways than by giving you medications

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    Is this what used to be dep soc?
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    (Original post by eleanor27)
    hey sorry for not replying sooner and thank you for the advice- really hope you're doing ok you're such a lovely person you dont deserve it :hugs:
    No worries! (i only just saw this btw)
    Ita fine! I hope youre well!'

    Aww thankyou! I appreciate that!!
    :hugs:
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    (Original post by Laus2)
    Is this what used to be dep soc?
    It is indeed It was made the 'Mental Health Support Society' to encompass all mental illnesses
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    Got my second year results today and I got 58% overall. At first I was a bit upset but I've calmed down a lot now. I was only 2% away from a 2:1 and for me second year is only worth 30% of my overall classification so hopefully I can pull it up to a 2:1 next year. Looking at the breakdown of my results, it's so obvious where my mental health nosedived. Hopefully by September I'll be feeling better and won't burnout so quickly.
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    (Original post by sherbet_lemons7)
    :loveduck:



    Love you too! :lovehug: Mahoosive huggles. Hows you misses? :hugs:
    Having a really weird/strange time. Struggling after the move. How are you, darling? Hope we can have a proper catch up soon, I think of you often :lovehug:
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    I dissected a sheep brain and sheep eyeball today. It was actually really interesting and I felt like I learned a lot more than I would have just reading the textbook. Also got 98% for each dissection (based on IDing stuff and how well I cut it) which I'm really proud of. Shame my grade for this class stands at 36% so I'm guaranteed a fail whatever I do.
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    I feel like such a ****ing idiot. For my class I have to do compulsory online quizzes on different chapters and I have absolutely no idea what the vast majority of the questions are referring to. It's like I wasn't even in the lecture where she went over this stuff. Makes me feel totally useless and like why did I bother sitting there when I remember nothing of the material? Every class the voices use it as an opportunity to torment me, they laugh at me and make horrible comments not to mention the other people in the class doing the same (which my wife claims is all in my head). I'm going to fail; this is the second time I'm doing this class and I still can't pass. :cry2: I've tried googling for the answers but then I get massive walls of text which I don't understand, I try going directly to the term but I'm completely lost. I feel like such a stupid failure. :banghead:

    I'm so tired too, I got up at 9.30am, left at 10.20am and didn't get home until 6pm - I had a half hour break in the middle but otherwise I was constantly being bombarded with stuff, most of which I have zero idea what it means. I think I got lucky with the dissections because I really have no clue. I'm so ****ing stupid. I knew I shouldn't have tried to make something of myself, I'm always going to be a loser.


    Sorry for the wall of text. I just feel like no one understands. Does anyone understand? I feel so lonely - my spouse has a phd and really doesn't get how hard this is for me. But I feel like such a failure that I'm finding it so difficult.
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    I used to have a really unorthodox specific type of anxiety in around year 10 which I recovered by myself in a few weeks/months and have been fine ever since.

    A few weeks ago I was doing my A levels. I had done 2 and had 3 to go and was feeling quite positive about it. However two nights before my 3rd exam I had my first ever proper panic attack, completely randomly whilst I was lay in bed on my phone. It was awful and I thought I was going to die. It was adrenaline in my chest followed by my head caving in.

    Then in my 3rd exam for the most part I was okay but then, again completely out of the blue, the adrenaline went straight for my head this time for about 5 seconds and thankfully I was able to control myself (I think knowledge of my past anxiety helped me to control this.) My next exam was a day after and thanks to my lovely former English teacher I was able to be moved to a smaller room with less people, and apart from on one or two occasions the anxiety 'attempted' to hit me, I was okay.

    After that exam I went to the doctors to talk about it. Just talking about it or thinking about it was one of the main triggers of the panic trying to hit me. I was prescribed some drugs, I actually can't remember - either beta blockers or benzodiazepine. However I didn't want to take them because I knew they would never treat the cause, and I didn't want to become reliant on them.

    In the next few days I had a few scares but in my final exam I was okay. And that's about where I am right now. I'm generally okay however I wish I knew the cause. I thought it could be exams but I've still had a few scares and adrenaline rushes since my final exam. Or I feel it could be fear of dying. Or I'm very conscious about my eating so it could be eating junk food and thinking of the implications. If I knew it would be much easier but it just feels random. It's annoying because it feels 90% gone, but whenever I accidentally think about it, even typing this, all the adrenaline starts to come back and I have to stop myself again.

    I have absolutely no idea where this was going, I just like to speak out about things.
    #34

    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Sorry for the wall of text. I just feel like no one understands. Does anyone understand? I feel so lonely - my spouse has a phd and really doesn't get how hard this is for me. But I feel like such a failure that I'm finding it so difficult.
    It is very understandable and I'm sorry. But congratulations on the dissection, you did it on your own merits and you got the scores you did by your excellent ability. Have more confidence in yourself, you're on the right track.

    In regards to your work, can you not speak to a course leader?

    I know that sometimes blocks of text can be overwhelming but try looking at things holistically. Look at the whole text and read it, a few times if you have to. Then deconstruct it and learn concept by concept. You don't have to keep going deep into sources and definitions; you don't need to do things chronologically because I feel like concepts piece together in the end and you'll understand by learning all of the different components that make up a whole. I hope this helps (it seems to help me), and I hope you feel better soon.

    P.S. You are most certainly not a loser, quite the opposite, it sounds like.
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    I'm meant to be flying home today and yet I've been awake since 3am. ****ing hate insomnia.
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    (Original post by Airmed)
    I'm meant to be flying home today and yet I've been awake since 3am. ****ing hate insomnia.
    Hope you get some sleep. Finally stopped having insomnia. All I want to do is sleep. Fed up now. Usually need to nap in the afternoon and falling sleep around 9pm. That's despite some 7 hours of sleep.
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    (Original post by Airmed)
    I'm meant to be flying home today and yet I've been awake since 3am. ****ing hate insomnia.
    I feel you... :hugs:
    I woke up multiple times last night and I've got an exam today :/
    Have a safe flight though

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    (Original post by Tiger Rag)
    Hope you get some sleep. Finally stopped having insomnia. All I want to do is sleep. Fed up now. Usually need to nap in the afternoon and falling sleep around 9pm. That's despite some 7 hours of sleep.
    Never got back to sleep. Bus to Glasgow is at 10 to 8. Ugh.

    (Original post by Anxious Anon)
    I feel you... :hugs:
    I woke up multiple times last night and I've got an exam today :/
    Have a safe flight though

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    Good luck with your exam!
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    (Original post by Airmed)
    I'm meant to be flying home today and yet I've been awake since 3am. ****ing hate insomnia.
    Have a safe flight home :hugs: I know how you feel about insomnia, I've not been able to drift until about 4/5am the last few nights because of it no matter how tired I am or how early I get up

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    (Original post by Spock's Socks)
    Have a safe flight home :hugs: I know how you feel about insomnia, I've not been able to drift until about 4/5am the last few nights because of it no matter how tired I am or how early I get up

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    Me neither, it's been like 4am. Mostly because I don't "attempt" to sleep but I would if I felt drowsy/tired-Catch 22.
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    I feel like such a ****ing idiot. For my class I have to do compulsory online quizzes on different chapters and I have absolutely no idea what the vast majority of the questions are referring to. It's like I wasn't even in the lecture where she went over this stuff. Makes me feel totally useless and like why did I bother sitting there when I remember nothing of the material? Every class the voices use it as an opportunity to torment me, they laugh at me and make horrible comments not to mention the other people in the class doing the same (which my wife claims is all in my head). I'm going to fail; this is the second time I'm doing this class and I still can't pass. :cry2: I've tried googling for the answers but then I get massive walls of text which I don't understand, I try going directly to the term but I'm completely lost. I feel like such a stupid failure. :banghead:

    I'm so tired too, I got up at 9.30am, left at 10.20am and didn't get home until 6pm - I had a half hour break in the middle but otherwise I was constantly being bombarded with stuff, most of which I have zero idea what it means. I think I got lucky with the dissections because I really have no clue. I'm so ****ing stupid. I knew I shouldn't have tried to make something of myself, I'm always going to be a loser.


    Sorry for the wall of text. I just feel like no one understands. Does anyone understand? I feel so lonely - my spouse has a phd and really doesn't get how hard this is for me. But I feel like such a failure that I'm finding it so difficult.

    Right, Saber. You're being *way* too hard on yourself first of all, so I'm going to give you a hug :hugs: Also, well done on the dissections, you did a great job and should be proud. Try not to think 'well even though I've done well, I did rubbish in X so I'll never get my grade up'. Give yourself where credit is due. Don't try and think about it as a massive picture, take each and every day like a new beginning. I averaged 63% in my degree, but had results as low as 30% and many around the 40s. It doesn't mean you can't finish with a respectable grade. It's ok to find it difficult - you must also remember that you are dealing with a hell of a lot more than your spouse had to. Mental illness and studying don't usually mix and it's tough, but it doesn't mean it won't be worth it. It is also worth mentioning that other people have faith in you - you would not have been admitted onto the course if the staff did not think you were capable. It sounds like you have a hell of a lot of pressure on you in terms of lectures. I could never ever learn from a lecture, so didn't bother going. Have you got a disability advisor or a tutor you can confide in? Sometimes lectures are recorded for those with disabilities, which can help. Or you could get a Dictaphone, so you could listen back at your own pace. It sounds like you need support with managing your mental health difficulties and your studies together, and I would suggest you tell whoever you can about what's going on for you, before you get too behind.
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    Anyone ever tried a depression support group? If so, how was it for you?

    Lonliness is a big trigger of my depression, and I've tried many ways to battle it but with not much luck. I've found a depression support group in my area and I'm thinking of going along to try it. Part of me hopes to make friends there, but even I I don't, then at least it might help in other ways?
 
 
 
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