Depression Society MkII Watch

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gee_shakedown
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#1741
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#1741
Raspberry, don't quit. Hang in there
*hugs*
Do you want to talk about anything?
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raspberrybubbles
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#1742
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#1742
(Original post by gee_shakedown)
Raspberry, don't quit. Hang in there
*hugs*
Do you want to talk about anything?
Call me Kate

It's just so difficult, I feel so alienated and just incredibly stressed at work, just communicating to make sense is really really difficult.

I don't really know what to say: I'm sick of feeling this way, angry at myself for being like this, angry that no-one understands, upset because everyone hates me. And tomorrow is the day of shrieking loudly at people at the mental health team :cry: I wish it hadn't turned out this way
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raspberrybubbles
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#1743
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#1743
OOh. I just found my mind over mood book. I'll start religiously tomorrow. Anyone want to join me in the quest for undepressionness?
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Bangers+Mash
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#1744
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#1744
I hate my life so much

going to bed, prob will end up crying for an hour now

Hope everyone is ok??! :hugs:
Thinking of all of you
Night xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Laus
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#1745
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#1745
(Original post by raspberrybubbles)
The strangeness never seems to go away... I'm out of contact with reality so much I can't bear it at work. Thinking of quitting. They all hate me anyway.
I'm sure they don't hate you. You have never done anything malicious to hurt them, have you? They probably, if anything, just think you're shy and lacking in confidence (or nothing at all), I don't know. All I know is they don't hate you.

You're too loveable.
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Laus
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#1746
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#1746
(Original post by raspberrybubbles)
OOh. I just found my mind over mood book. I'll start religiously tomorrow. Anyone want to join me in the quest for undepressionness?
Yep. I have this book. :hugs:
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belle654
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#1747
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#1747
(Original post by Bangers+Mash)
I hate my life so much

going to bed, prob will end up crying for an hour now

Hope everyone is ok??! :hugs:
Thinking of all of you
Night xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Aww luke, hope your feeling better now *cuddle*. I didnt get on msn tonight but il hopefully talk to you tomorrow. Im working all the hours i can so im not on my own thinking about things. Things havent been too bad tonight and i managed to eat more than usual which was good
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gooner1991
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#1748
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#1748
I can't sleep. I've been crying non stop for an hour now. Its almost a year since I had the abortion and I cant stop thinking about it. I wish I'd never gone through with it. It made my life go from bad to worse.
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Laus
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#1749
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#1749
(Original post by gooner1991)
I can't sleep. I've been crying non stop for an hour now. Its almost a year since I had the abortion and I cant stop thinking about it. I wish I'd never gone through with it. It made my life go from bad to worse.
What's done is done. There's no point in dwelling on it or beating yourself up about it. You did what you thought was right at the time... you did what many people your age would do. No one can blame you for that; and you shouldn't blame yourself for the decision you made, either. I know this sounds silly but, when I think of abortion, I like to think of lots of babies enjoying themselves in heaven under the watchful eye of someone really caring and loving. I'm not sure if I believe in God but, if there is one, it's a comforting thought, I guess. You had an abortion because you felt it was the right thing to do at the time. It probably was the right thing. Don't punish yourself for something you did out of necessity. You're very brave. :hugs:

Lime Tree.

I keep floating down the river but the ocean never comes,
And since the operation I heard you're breathing just for one.
Now everything's imaginary, especially what you love.
You left another message said it's done;
It's done.

When I hear beautiful music it's always from another time.
Old friends I never visit, will I remember what they're like?
Standing on a doorstep full of nervous butterflies,
Waiting to be asked to come inside;
Just come inside.

But I keep going out,
And I can't sleep next to a stranger when I'm coming down.
It's 8 a.m. my heart's beating too loud;
Too loud.

Don't be so amazing, or I'll miss you too much,
I felt something that I had never touched.

Everything gets smaller now the further that I go,
Towards the mouth and the reunion of the Known and the Unknown.
Consider yourself lucky if you think of it as home
You can move mountains with your misery if you don't;
If you don't.

It comes to me in fragments, even those still split in two,
Under the leaves of that old Lime Tree I stood examining the fruit;
Some were ripe and some were rotten, I felt nauseous with the truth,
There will never be a time more opportune.

So I just won't be late
The window closes, shock rolls over in a tidal wave
And all the colour drains out of the frame.

So pleased with the daydream that now living is no good
I took off my shoes and walked into the woods,
I felt lost and found with every step I took...

-----

Even if this song isn't about abortion, I think it's lovely.
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upturnedpalms
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#1750
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#1750
You know what's really odd? I don't give a damn about results day anymore. If I do well it won't change anything, and if I do badly, which I have resigned myself to since I was in a really terrible way during the exam period, then so be it. They're just 4 letters on a piece of paper. I'm not even nervous or excited about the day now. I feel like I'm just going through the motions. I feel like I'm in a bubble and nothing can touch me. I feel numb.
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Areontas
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#1751
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#1751
(Original post by upturnedpalms)
You know what's really odd? I don't give a damn about results day anymore. If I do well it won't change anything, and if I do badly, which I have resigned myself to since I was in a really terrible way during the exam period, then so be it. They're just 4 letters on a piece of paper. I'm not even nervous or excited about the day now. I feel like I'm just going through the motions. I feel like I'm in a bubble and nothing can touch me. I feel numb.
I've felt that way for such a long time now. Nothing seems to affect me anymore. If I do well, great - if I don't, I'll have to sort it out. I can't decide if it's a good or a bad attitude to have, but it would help if there was something that drove me or motivated me.
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Laus
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#1752
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#1752
(Original post by upturnedpalms)
You know what's really odd? I don't give a damn about results day anymore. If I do well it won't change anything, and if I do badly, which I have resigned myself to since I was in a really terrible way during the exam period, then so be it. They're just 4 letters on a piece of paper. I'm not even nervous or excited about the day now. I feel like I'm just going through the motions. I feel like I'm in a bubble and nothing can touch me. I feel numb.
(Original post by Areontas)
I've felt that way for such a long time now. Nothing seems to affect me anymore. If I do well, great - if I don't, I'll have to sort it out. I can't decide if it's a good or a bad attitude to have, but it would help if there was something that drove me or motivated me.
It's the best attitude to have, guys. Worrying doesn't get you anywhere. You have had to wait ages for results day and, now that it's nearly here, it's an anticlimax. I felt exactly the same this time last year; I just wanted to know. I believe in you guys and I'm proud of you all, whatever the outcome. Although those letters are a stepping-stone to university, they are not the be all and end all. You can always retake your exams if your results aren't what you expected, if they are, great. It really doesn't matter. Try not to analyse how you feel, just go with it and see what happens.

:hugs:
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starchild
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#1753
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#1753
Davids going away soon for a week so we're going into town today to buy me a book.... the one for the TSR reading list. Hes had some problems with his sight and im forcing him to ring the doctor, because he is meant to ring the doctor if something goes wrong. Im scared... but im sure its nothing, we'll see. Also planning our anniversary stuff, i need to buy some rose petals and some candles and make a picnic on our bed with some nice DVDs... is that a good idea?

Just eating 'death by chocolate' cake again. Not feeling too good. Very low

Love and hope you are all ok

Siti xx
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xemilyx
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#1754
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Sitara, that's a beautiful idea for your anniversary
:hugs: for you, hope you're okay and I hope David turns out to be okay too.
----------

I am so sleep deprived it's unreal, actually struggling to be awake today, all my fault and self infilcted.... had escapism kinda this weekend and now I am crashing down again. Hate this all so so much.

Incase I don't post again for a few days or don't get in contact with anyone, good luck to people who are waiting for results! I am sure you'll do ace :hugs:
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raspberrybubbles
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#1755
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#1755
Busy day today, I've completed just about everything I wanted to have done. Found my dream shoes, and bought them, which was nice but I'm still feeling pretty crappy I've photocopied sheets from mind over mood ready to complete, got a notepad and transferred my old thought diaries! Ready to get into business then I'm up to chapter 7!

Still feeling really bad though I phoned the MHT this morning, guy isn't in today, but is in tomorrow, so I'm gonna be hot on the line tomorrow morning, just wish it could've been sorted, really but alas...
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Bangers+Mash
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#1756
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#1756
I feel so bad i just want to go and cry, but i feels so numb i cant even do that.

I have a week until i see my counsellor again, and 2 weeks until my psychiatrist appointment
I dont think i can manage that long :bawling:
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raspberrybubbles
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#1757
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#1757
:hugs: B+M, is there any way you can phone up either or both people and ask if your appointment can be brought forwards/if you can book an emergency one?
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Bangers+Mash
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#1758
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#1758
I can't get one for my counsellor, he is so overbooked always full up, i have to make do with what i can
my psychiatrist is on annual leave now and i could really have done with seeing her.

But at the same time, i dont want to come across as too needy or dependant to them, so i just dont know what to do. Maybe i should just stay in bed for a week.
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raspberrybubbles
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#1759
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#1759
(Original post by Bangers+Mash)
I can't get one for my counsellor, he is so overbooked always full up, i have to make do with what i can
my psychiatrist is on annual leave now and i could really have done with seeing her.

But at the same time, i dont want to come across as too needy or dependant to them, so i just dont know what to do. Maybe i should just stay in bed for a week.
Thing is hun, you need the help! You wouldn't be too needy, because at the end of the day it helps you, and you need the help: it's better to ask for too much than too little. Is there anything your doc could do?
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upturnedpalms
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#1760
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#1760
(Original post by Laus)
It's the best attitude to have, guys. Worrying doesn't get you anywhere. You have had to wait ages for results day and, now that it's nearly here, it's an anticlimax. I felt exactly the same this time last year; I just wanted to know. I believe in you guys and I'm proud of you all, whatever the outcome. Although those letters are a stepping-stone to university, they are not the be all and end all. You can always retake your exams if your results aren't what you expected, if they are, great. It really doesn't matter. Try not to analyse how you feel, just go with it and see what happens.

:hugs:
I :love: Laus.
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