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Argument with girlfriend - she slapped me. Watch

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    (Original post by OMGWTFBBQ)
    Don't stupid *****es realise that domestic violence is never justified?

    Even when the genders are reversed.

    Makes me sick.
    Agree. It's never alright, man or woman. Hitting someone in reaction to anger is never acceptable. How much it hurts doesn't matter.
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    OP I rate you for maintaining calm but I would seriously look at the relationship itself. Is she worth it?
    • #6
    #6

    (Original post by effofex)
    Leave her. A woman who resorts to slapping is not one to be in a relationship with. Physical violence in a relationship is not really acceptable.
    I think it's unfair to say that's always true. Physical violence in a relationship where one person is the least bit uncomfortable with that violence is unacceptable.

    I mean, shame as I apparently should be to confess it, I ocassionally slap my boyfriend. But not in rage or to hurt him. It is just a thing we do. It's on a par with him tickling me. A playful thing. If he ever were to say "please don't do that again" I would never do it again without permission. If he slapped me with the same (reasonable/playful) level of force and intent nor would I have a problem with it.

    But I think it is much too taboo (with a degree of good reason I guess) for a man to hit a girl, that it is even unacceptable in play. I don't think he would feel appropriate doing it.

    But even so.. random discussion there. I don't think physical violence is always unacceptable.

    OP - if you feel very hurt/violated by your gf, then you should tell her when you are ready. I don't think there is any lost face in taking her back if she is sorry.

    She may have underestimated how seriously you would take her violence, and this, whilst being her problem, is still perhaps something to take into account. I doubt she meant to harm you. And if you explained to her how strongly you felt, I doubt that she would do it again.

    It may seem sexist that I might react more strongly if this situation was gender reversed, which I can't really deny - but that is because given the current climate (which is again, I guess, appropriate) surrounding any form of domestic violence, I suspect that most men have thought about how they shouldn't really hit girls, and what it means to hit a girl.. but many girls will not have thought about the situation in reverse, so they will not be prepared to refrain themselves should they get very angry. They may not even consider their boyfriend would have a strong objection or be emotionally hurt. Does that make any sense?

    If your girlfriend is not remorseful however, or if she behaves in this way again knowing how much you disagree with it, then I would say she is not worth your time.
    • #6
    #6

    (Original post by Melanie-v)
    I know it's a double standard. Personally, I'd never slap my bf, or anybody really. We see girls slapping guys on TV pretty much everyday though. Right now I can't think of a relationship-based soap that doesn't have some overemotional girl slapping the male lead etc. Maybe that's what she's used to seeing, and it's portrayed as acceptable, becoming such in her mind. I'm not saying it was right. I'm just saying that we're used to girls slapping guys, and it's normally shown as "whatever", whereas other way round it's always shown as "evil, evil, evil".
    This is somewhat what I meant to say.

    However, her paris rejection has nothing to do with her gender - that's just being ungrateful and inconsiderate.

    Yes she has some apologising to do.
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    That is shockingly ungrateful behaviour. Honestly, if you forgive her once don't be suprised if she does it again. Because this shows the order of what she values, and by the sound of it, your money and efforts don't come very high up.
    Slapping is never acceptable. This just sounds like melodramatic behaviour influenced from watching too many tv soaps where it is 'okay' or 'normal' to act like a spoilt stroppy mare.

    Honestly, go find a girl who will appreciate your money and efforts and would be able to say to her friend "Sorry I can't make it to your Birthday, my boyfriend has already booked us a trip away and I don't want to miss it".
    Not hard to say at all and a decent girlfriend would have said that without a second thought.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My girlfriend came over this afternoon, thought we'd have a nice day in...until she casually tells me that she's effectively cancelling the plans we'd already made because it's her friends birthday party.

    I have booked a trip to paris to stay there for 3 nights and she knows about this plan for a month now. I'm covering all the expenses, it's all coming out of my wallet. Not only am I really disappointed that she's choosing a friend's birthday party over spending a weekend away with me (although I wouldn't mind IF my plan was flexible, which it isn't because it's booked so it has to be cancelled).

    She told me I can cancel the bookings, which is true...but then I'm charged a damn cancellation fee from the hotel which is a lot of money, WASTED money! Naturally I got really angry about this and I hated that she's not even considering 1. my feelings and 2. my money!

    We started arguing a lot and had a heated exchange and I said "piss off to your friend then I can't stand the sight of you" which I agree was very rude of me but she slapped me across the face for it!!!

    I was just shocked and froze, never expected her to do this and she never has in all the time we've been together (it's a long relationship). I was SO angry I was just fuming and I think she got scared just from the look on my face, so I told her to leave before this gets from bad to worse.

    She kept ringing and texting after but I switched the phone off and went to sleep so that I can cool off instead of having a ****ging match via text.

    Now I don't know what to do, I said some bad things but I can't believe she slapped me. I feel so disrespected and although I really love her this is just something I can't let pass. I'm facing the dilemma now, to follow my feelings and forgive her and just put it behind us or to follow my principles and stand up for my dignity by leaving her.

    I feel so annoyed that all this has come about from something that should have been a romantic trip away, instead it's led to this disaster.

    I really need some advice on how to approach the situation please, would appreciate your views on what would be the right thing to do because I don't want to act irrationally in this anger.

    thanks.
    Alright man, sorry to bump an old thread but would just like to know what route you eventually took with this?
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    How can she slap?
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    You should tell her that you will forgive and forget if you are allowed to slap her across the face.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My girlfriend came over this afternoon, thought we'd have a nice day in...until she casually tells me that she's effectively cancelling the plans we'd already made because it's her friends birthday party.

    I have booked a trip to paris to stay there for 3 nights and she knows about this plan for a month now. I'm covering all the expenses, it's all coming out of my wallet. Not only am I really disappointed that she's choosing a friend's birthday party over spending a weekend away with me (although I wouldn't mind IF my plan was flexible, which it isn't because it's booked so it has to be cancelled).

    She told me I can cancel the bookings, which is true...but then I'm charged a damn cancellation fee from the hotel which is a lot of money, WASTED money! Naturally I got really angry about this and I hated that she's not even considering 1. my feelings and 2. my money!

    We started arguing a lot and had a heated exchange and I said "piss off to your friend then I can't stand the sight of you" which I agree was very rude of me but she slapped me across the face for it!!!

    I was just shocked and froze, never expected her to do this and she never has in all the time we've been together (it's a long relationship). I was SO angry I was just fuming and I think she got scared just from the look on my face, so I told her to leave before this gets from bad to worse.

    She kept ringing and texting after but I switched the phone off and went to sleep so that I can cool off instead of having a ****ging match via text.

    Now I don't know what to do, I said some bad things but I can't believe she slapped me. I feel so disrespected and although I really love her this is just something I can't let pass. I'm facing the dilemma now, to follow my feelings and forgive her and just put it behind us or to follow my principles and stand up for my dignity by leaving her.

    I feel so annoyed that all this has come about from something that should have been a romantic trip away, instead it's led to this disaster.

    I really need some advice on how to approach the situation please, would appreciate your views on what would be the right thing to do because I don't want to act irrationally in this anger.

    thanks.
    Rape her straight up.

    Na, jokes aside ermm get a new one.
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    uhm... she doesnt love you as much as you do to her...

    I remember doing a similar thing to my ex, I turned down a planned holiday with him which he paid for everything and booked the flight. I didnt love him as much anymore so I thought it would be boring to go on a holiday with him. When you're in love, you normally love to spend time with your partner, a trip to Paris would be smth even more special. Your gf is likely to be loving you less, much less. She kept texting/ calling you afterwards because she felt guilty, but it doesnt change the fact that she preferred going to the birthday party to enjoying a nice holiday with you. I know it's hard but I suggest you break up with her. My ex never realised it and it hurt him a lot. (well I know I didnt do the right thing but we r not talking about me here r we lol)
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    What the absolute ****?

    I'd go with somebody else, dump her and tell her to piss off for life.

    Some things are unforgivable - even when forgiven, are unforgetable; dump her and move on.

    Well done on you for not hitting her back, I probably would have, or used her for lots and lots of sex, just out of pure anger and frustration, but that was very respectful of you, and i'd like to shake your hand irl, but you deserve much much much better.

    She sounds like a ****ing looney (toon).

    Dump asap.
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    I'd go after her for battery, but I'm vindictive like that
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    (Original post by ilovethekooks)
    uhm... she doesnt love you as much as you do to her...

    I remember doing a similar thing to my ex, I turned down a planned holiday with him which he paid for everything and booked the flight. I didnt love him as much anymore so I thought it would be boring to go on a holiday with him. When you're in love, you normally love to spend time with your partner, a trip to Paris would be smth even more special. Your gf is likely to be loving you less, much less. She kept texting/ calling you afterwards because she felt guilty, but it doesnt change the fact that she preferred going to the birthday party to enjoying a nice holiday with you. I know it's hard but I suggest you break up with her. My ex never realised it and it hurt him a lot. (well I know I didnt do the right thing but we r not talking about me here r we lol)
    You sound like a ****ing ungrateful ****.

    I hope he left you and found somebody much more deserving.

    Seriously, people like you piss me right off.

    Guys who love their girlfriends lots deserve to be told if they aren't getting it back. I hope you told him asap, because people like you probably deserve a wake-up slap (i'd never do it, violence is wrong).

    Grow the **** up and don't bother getting/staying in a relationship where you don't feel the same way he feels about you.

    Imagine he did it to you... you'd cry about leading on and complain like a *****.

    Double ****ing standards!
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    (Original post by otilov)
    should have slapped her back
    I wonder what the female:male ratio is for the pos reps.
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    If my boyfriend did that for me, I would be so grateful, excited and happy. If I then got invited to a friends birthday party I would realise that I already have plans and would try arrange to see my friend for their birthday another time, and if they were a good friend they would understand. She obviously can't handle her priorities. Would you want this in later life : oh sorry, I can't make it on our holiday I've got to go to a friends birthday party. Sounds immature when you put it into a mature context.
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    (Original post by ilovethekooks)
    uhm... she doesnt love you as much as you do to her...

    I remember doing a similar thing to my ex, I turned down a planned holiday with him which he paid for everything and booked the flight. I didnt love him as much anymore so I thought it would be boring to go on a holiday with him. When you're in love, you normally love to spend time with your partner, a trip to Paris would be smth even more special. Your gf is likely to be loving you less, much less. She kept texting/ calling you afterwards because she felt guilty, but it doesnt change the fact that she preferred going to the birthday party to enjoying a nice holiday with you. I know it's hard but I suggest you break up with her. My ex never realised it and it hurt him a lot. (well I know I didnt do the right thing but we r not talking about me here r we lol)
    Oh right, so you're a good-for-nothing selfish whore? Good to know :yep:
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    (Original post by WelshBluebird)
    I hate the double standards girls have.
    If this was the other way around, all the girls here would be saying get out of the relationship because he'd do it again.
    Yet cos its a girl whos being violent, then its no problem?
    WTF.
    True, it's terrible when a woman hits a man. However since men are usually stronger and scarier than women it's slightly different:

    usually when a woman slaps a man its out of pure disrespect (awful)

    but when a man hits a woman it can be really dangerous and downright terrifying.

    Of course those are just generalizations and there will be a lot of exceptions.
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    God, she's definately not respecting you. What's the matter with her! You'd planned a trip and everything.
    You weren't that rude to her.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My girlfriend came over this afternoon, thought we'd have a nice day in...until she casually tells me that she's effectively cancelling the plans we'd already made because it's her friends birthday party.

    I have booked a trip to paris to stay there for 3 nights and she knows about this plan for a month now. I'm covering all the expenses, it's all coming out of my wallet. Not only am I really disappointed that she's choosing a friend's birthday party over spending a weekend away with me (although I wouldn't mind IF my plan was flexible, which it isn't because it's booked so it has to be cancelled).

    She told me I can cancel the bookings, which is true...but then I'm charged a damn cancellation fee from the hotel which is a lot of money, WASTED money! Naturally I got really angry about this and I hated that she's not even considering 1. my feelings and 2. my money!

    We started arguing a lot and had a heated exchange and I said "piss off to your friend then I can't stand the sight of you" which I agree was very rude of me but she slapped me across the face for it!!!

    I was just shocked and froze, never expected her to do this and she never has in all the time we've been together (it's a long relationship). I was SO angry I was just fuming and I think she got scared just from the look on my face, so I told her to leave before this gets from bad to worse.

    She kept ringing and texting after but I switched the phone off and went to sleep so that I can cool off instead of having a ****ging match via text.

    Now I don't know what to do, I said some bad things but I can't believe she slapped me. I feel so disrespected and although I really love her this is just something I can't let pass. I'm facing the dilemma now, to follow my feelings and forgive her and just put it behind us or to follow my principles and stand up for my dignity by leaving her.

    I feel so annoyed that all this has come about from something that should have been a romantic trip away, instead it's led to this disaster.

    I really need some advice on how to approach the situation please, would appreciate your views on what would be the right thing to do because I don't want to act irrationally in this anger.

    thanks.
    Go to Paris anyway. Waste not want not.
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    I would be furious. She really is out of order, don't let anyone else tell you otherwise.

    What exactly was her friends birthday party? a night out?
 
 
 
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