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Asians, are you allowed to marry a girl/guy of your choice? Watch

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    (Original post by bunty64)
    you'd better let your "potential suitors" know that before you start with them, because they'll most probably be thinking the same thing>
    haha, naaaah, i wouldnt go for the wierd ones, besides u never no, i might not marry an afghan and go against the book oooooo :O
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    My family is a very extreme example, and I guess very liberal. I'm not strictly Asian myself, but mixed. But my dad was allowed to marry whoever he wanted, and my granddad ended up marrying a German Catholic. He was Muslim, but he doesn't follow it any more. My grandma is now an atheist and so is my dad, so perhaps that has something to do with the freedom? I'm not saying that religion causes the problems with marrying, but I think it leads to some of the cultural differences.

    I have a friend who isn't even allowed to go to university because her parents are scared of what will happen! I think, in the end, to be honest, it will definitely end in an arranged marriage for her.

    I don't think my parents really care who I marry, though I know my mum would probably prefer a nice Catholic boy for me, but I think she'll be happy as long as I'm happy.
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    (Original post by bunty64)
    blackenese.... amerie, tiger woods.... pharell looks (eyes) but not really blackenese.

    more common in america you'd think...
    Hmm yeh....

    Would be kool to see black/chinese partners in UK.
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    I'm asian and I dont give a **** what my parents say I'll marry whoever I want.
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    (Original post by oHellno)
    Ah I never knew about Amerie.
    well not chinese (korean), but still the "oriental look"....... her eyes are a dead give away...
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    (Original post by defuzion)
    I'm asian and I dont give a **** what my parents say I'll marry whoever I want.
    Oi You better listen to your parents...Otherwise,,,,,,,,,,,,,
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    (Original post by catty khan)
    haha, naaaah, i wouldnt go for the wierd ones, besides u never no, i might not marry an afghan and go against the book oooooo :O
    yeh, if you go outside of your tribe, let the person know that your lot aren't crazies!
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    (Original post by defuzion)
    I'm asian and I dont give a **** what my parents say I'll marry whoever I want.
    what kind of asian are you?

    Parents must be the "liberal" type. kind of a give away, seeing that your parents didn't make you study bio.chem,phys,maths!
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    (Original post by bunty64)
    what kind of asian are you?

    Parents must be the "liberal" type. kind of a give away, seeing that your parents didn't make you study bio.chem,phys,maths!
    half malay half indian
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    (Original post by defuzion)
    half malay half indian
    when you get the chance, thank the malay half!

    No offence all ya indians!
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    (Original post by 4ttari)
    You planning to propose to her?
    lol that would be even weirder than an arranged marriage. i wobder how my parents would react if i told them i was engaged to a girl i met online. Anyway im to young for marriage im still in school lol
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    (Original post by wtfCharlie)
    As in you'd be disowned, or they would find a way to forcibly stop it?
    Depends on the situation and who the person was.. i'm guessing they'd try to forcibly stop it, but if i refused (eg. wanted to be with said person despite what they said) probably disowned. Because that would require running away and shiznit.
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    nope - my parents have made it pretty clear to me that i am not allowed to have a boyfriend until i'm 30 and have settled down in my career. he has to be indian, and someone who's family they know....


    short answer: no i do not have a choice






    but that doesn't mean that i'm going to listen to them - of course i completely respect them and love them, and obviously they want what's best for me, but we're in a modern society.....
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    Yes!!
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    (Original post by joey11223)
    sorry about adding a question to your thread OP but....

    For those who say no can you say why it is? I assume for the large majority it's their families view not their own. Is it because of some sort of ethnic superiority complex? As in a non-South Asian partner wouldn't be as...good, for some reason? Purity of blood lines and racial mixing not approved of?
    Well, my family are kind of bark-worse-than-bite on this issue. I'm Bangladeshi and for years I grew up thinking that/being told that I could only marry a Bangladeshi, and that was definitely the case when it came to my sisters getting married (no brothers, so it wasn't an issue about girls not having as much freedom as boys or anything).

    The reason for this wasn't about purity of blood lines or anything, it was because my parents said that the future children of the marriage would be confused as to their heritage. I found it difficult learning my 'mother tongue' as it was, so if a kid has more languages/cultures that it feels it has to hold onto, my parents reckoned it would be hard for the child to keep connected to its heritage.

    BUT now it's my turn (in a few years) and they've realised that this was maybe not a rule that needed to be set in stone. So as religion has always also been more of a selling point than ethnicity anyway, if I found the right guy who had the right way of thinking and wasn't Bangladeshi, they wouldn't mind. I think if he was black/white it would be more of an issue though than if he was Arab/Pakistani/Indian/something more 'compatible looking' - only cos of the wedding pictures though hahah!

    Hope this made sense?!
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    I am yeah.
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    (Original post by qwerty_mad)
    Question open to all, but mainly targeted at South-Asians. Are you allowed to marry a person of your choice, even if he/she doesn't originate from the same country as you?
    Well, my parents would never force me to marry anyone I didn't want to, whether they were Bangladeshi (like us) or not.

    But if I fell for someone (as long as nothing relationshipwise had happened and I hadn't 'crossed' the line - therefore losing my parents' trust and respect) that wasn't B'deshi, they would want to meet him and his family to see if they were decent people and 'compatible' in their way of thinking and to check he was a decent guy. They would give their blessings though, as long as he was good enough in every other respect - ethical, educated, good future, good character (good bone sructure...haha, just kidding..kind of :rolleyes:).
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    These days it's more than just bein from the same ethnic background. Asian parents tend to look at things like his job, title, status, bank balance, family, class, reputation etc.

    WHY IS IT THAT ASIANS TEND TO THINK THAT DOCTORS, LAWYERS, ENGINEERS AND BARRISTERS ARE LIKE THE ROYAL FAMILY??? Basically if you don't have a "high status" position then you're pretty much f***ed.

    I disagree with traditional views. Im allowed to marry any Muslim girl regardless of ethnicity.
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    Yes.

    My parents have always told me that they would rather I choose my own partner, because even if I asked for their help in finding me a suitor, they still wouldn't know them well enough compared to if I found and got to know someone myself.

    Also my parents do not really care where they are from. Its more to do with the boy's personal qualities such as being well educated, has a decent job, be kind, caring and supportive obviously. Just basically someone that they know can look after me.

    The only boundaries my parents have are that guy follows the same religion. That's it.
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    I think my dad and some older generations would disapprove of said marriage, however I don't think they wouldn't allow the marriage. My mum's side of the family is pretty much 2nd generation immigrant and my dad is 1st gen. My Mum was brought here when she was 2, so she's been exposed to British culture since a kid really. As with many S. Asians(3rd gen), their parents were brought up in even stricter conditions and love marriages were basically zero.

    I've had some cousins marry by love marriages, rather than arranged(3rd gen) so I think the majority of parents would disprove of marrying someone who you've found yourself, but they may be likely to not allow the marriage of say a Pakistani and a White person.

    About 10-15 years down the line, these types of threads will probably be non existent, due to many people's views here that they do not care about the race whatsoever

    My dad has been continuously telling me that I "should become a doctor or a lawyer. You can help people and give something back" I nearly laughed at the irony when putting that description to the lawyer lol.

    Syed, you also forgot the technicians lol. Pakistani's seem to think that for some reason, its easy pay, and everyone should do it. Luckily for me, Im in to technology so I've pleased my parents somewhat
 
 
 
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