I feel so working class at uni :( Watch

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luuucyx
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#161
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#161
im shocked that people are like this, ive always been privileged in my upbringing but i go out of my way not to make people feel like im stuck up id hate someone to think that of me

the way i see it no matter how much money anyones got or anything, you're all at the same uni, you got the same grades, pay the same fees and do the same work so really they have no right at all to look down on you!

if you learn how to converse with the stuck up ones it'll be an advantage to you because when you get out of uni into the world youll be able to talk to anyone where as theyll be stuck only able to converse with people of their mentality
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ameritus
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#162
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(Original post by Fires)
I think there's a slight confusion in your mind between the sort of educational culture and mindset that makes up what you think of as "upper middle" and "upper" class and the implications of wealth.

For sure they would enter the upper classes (they already have just by being born, in fact) on wealth grounds, because they will inherit a vast amount and be suspended out of the need to work. They might want to work, but it would be entirely a matter of choice.
So are you saying then that how much money you have does determine what class you are? Where would this place people like Katie Price (I suppose she is already middle rather than lower class though)?

They won't ever be upper middle class, because the UMCs owe their position entirely to their skills and achievements, academic and professional, at achieving the sort of top jobs and career status that makes them UMC. Their children will in turn go into upper universities and hopefully retain their UMC status.
But that's what I'm trying to get at - if they have a privileged kind of education, it will firstly give them a a higher self-belief that they can achieve these positions, and secondly give them a higher chance of getting into a university which gives them the means to achieve them.

The kids of people like Richard Branson, Alan Sugar or Bill Gates are not and never will be in any way middle class. Just look at Richard Bransons children - Holly now runs part of his business empire and has a £10m house in Holland Park. Both she and her brother have married well. They are upper class socialites as well.
I'm not too familiar with Bill Gates - was he working class before he became rich? As for Richard Branson's children, they have certainly benefited from his own wealth, but wasn't he middle class to start with?
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Fires
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(Original post by ameritus)
So are you saying then that how much money you have does determine what class you are? Where would this place people like Katie Price (I suppose she is already middle rather than lower class though)?

But that's what I'm trying to get at - if they have a privileged kind of education, it will firstly give them a a higher self-belief that they can achieve these positions, and secondly give them a higher chance of getting into a university which gives them the means to achieve them.

I'm not too familiar with Bill Gates - was he working class before he became rich? As for Richard Branson's children, they have certainly benefited from his own wealth, but wasn't he middle class to start with?
I'm not saying that money determines class across the board, although obviously it's one of many contributory factors. I'm saying that at the particular upper-end of the scale, the very rich, where someone is born to a very rich family, even if their parents started out working or middle class, it is almost inevitable that the children will be in the top class regardless. There may be some discreet exceptions and I am generalising, but generally, the children of the super-rich are going to be part of the uppermost elite of society.

What we call that top elite group seems to be a sensitive subject. People don't like the term "upper class" because they feel it associates them with the decadent aristocracy. However, Richard Branson's children are most certainly way above the middle class, even if, as you correctly point out, their Dad started out upper-middle.

Personally I like the term "owning class" (sociologically) because it defines what class they are - the big wealth owners.

Bill Gates is descended from a family of wealthy lawyers, with origins back in the nearest thing the US has to a true aristocracy - the first settlers from England.
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Magickal
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(Original post by _Izzy)
I know the OP said they go to Exeter, but Durham has been mentioned loads too by other posters. I'm really worried to go there next year now (grades permitting)... I was really looking forward to it but everyone seems to really hate Durham and especially Durham students. Oh
I am actually an Oxford reject but I'm really not bitter about it in the slightest - I clearly wasn't right/good enough for Oxford and I totally appreciate that, they will have made the right decision.
Feel the need to add to other posters, Durham is lovely and so are the people. There are posh people everywhere but there are normal people too. Yes a lot of us are Oxbridge rejects but we're all happy to be where we are. People really aren't that posh, I'm Northern and have never felt out of place
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Fires
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(Original post by Magickal)
Feel the need to add to other posters, Durham is lovely and so are the people. There are posh people everywhere but there are normal people too. Yes a lot of us are Oxbridge rejects but we're all happy to be where we are. People really aren't that posh, I'm Northern and have never felt out of place
Huge difference between Northern posh and Southern posh!
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Fires
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(Original post by yoyodd)
Hey !
Sorry then .. No, i am waiting to hear from my choices. Last year student in high school
I quoted you but i wasn't talking about you especially. Even in my country (i'm not from the UK), we are trashed by the other students about attending a private school. They don't know us at all and just make judgements when honestly most of us (except the idiot ones -Yeah, i'll admit that there are some) do not speak badly of them at all. It's unfair that things are easier for some than for the rest but why should these kids be bullied for that? You could say i'm from an upper class family but i do not act entitled or whatever, it's a misconception. As i said they will always be stuck up, snobbish ones but they do not speak for the whole. Some kids get anxious to go to University because they think they're going to be judged and ignored by the upper class or upper middle class kids but i can tell you it's also the other way around. I swear when i read stuff on post like this, i wonder what is it going to be like. I wouldn't want to be judged based on the fact that i wear a special brand or live in a special accommodation at uni or whatever. I'm nice and i think uni is about getting to meet new people and i wouldn't want to only hang with the 'privileged' kids.. I am really starting to reconsider going to Uni in the UK if all the kids are this way.. Being bullied is a two ways thing. Just think about that
I hope i am making some sense
yoyo

(btw, we also have messed up families so please dont talk about "rich kids issues")
I see from your posts that you're applying to St Andrews, what have been the main influences on you making that choice, I wonder?

Things can look very different in other countries than the way the class system looks here, although I suppose things like how p/s kids get treated by their non-p/s contemporaries might be a common factor, for example.
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Zweihander
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#167
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Not Durham or St Andrews by any chance?


This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App
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Magickal
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#168
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(Original post by Fires)
Huge difference between Northern posh and Southern posh!
:P Even the people from the South I know and am friends with aren't posh. Even the people from Eton that I have met (only a couple) have been lovely people so I feel like Durham has a bad rep it doesn't really deserve.
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Fires
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(Original post by Magickal)
:P Even the people from the South I know and am friends with aren't posh. Even the people from Eton that I have met (only a couple) have been lovely people so I feel like Durham has a bad rep it doesn't really deserve.
Well, you found them lovely. Personally speaking, I've found most people I met who went to very top private schools to be a pain in the backside in ways too numerous to mention.
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Magickal
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#170
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(Original post by Fires)
Well, you found them lovely. Personally speaking, I've found most people I met who went to very top private schools to be a pain in the backside in ways too numerous to mention.
Fair enough, it depends massively on the situation and type of person. Durham is definitely a great place to be either way or at least I think so.
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thisistheend
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I started at uni in september and I still feel totally alone.

I come from quite a rough place and I had to work bl**dy hard to get through school, never mind uni, and I feel totally out of place. Its quite a 'rah' place, and even the people who aren't stuck up and are nice are quite priviliged, and I don't really feel like I fit in with any of them.

My flatmates are lovely, and make an effort to invite me to things and get me invloved, and even cheer me up when they can tell I'm down, but I cut myself off a bit because I felt awkward being so different, so they're a lot closer and 'get' each other a lot more.

Because I was so down, of all the societies I joined, I've only really gone to stuff for one of them, and I've made quite a few friends there, but we only see each other once/twice a week as we all do different courses and are in different years so live all over the place.

Worst of alll are the people on my course. Most of the boys went to whichever public school together and won't talk to you anyway, and the girls are *****y, Jack wills clad, ratty haired blonde types called Cordelia and Arabella, who need a slap.

I have nothing in common with these people, I'd be embarassed to show even my housemates where I live, I don't think many people here have even walked past a council estate, let alone lived in one.

Should I just leave and go somewhere less pretentious, or is it my fault? I feel like I've missed the friendship boat, but then I don't really know who I'd want to be friends with. Which of the better unis have a good mix of people? Yah-yahs get very irritating very quickly!


Thanks for reading my rant, I've been bottling it up for quite some time


(Sorry if I sound whiney, I'm incredibly grateful to be at uni, so many of the people I went to school with were never given a chance, and its a kick in the teeth to see for myself that at my uni at least, mummy, daddy and the name of your school count for more than hard graft)
Look, you've moved up in the world now. Make good with these people, make their world your own and kick away the detritus that should be your past by now.

In 10 years you'll look back and think, golly what did I throw away? A lifetime of social circles bound by shared poverty, misery and alienation? You'll be laughing all the way with your champagne flute in charity dinners and public events that doesn't involve a riot with new, intellectual and wealthy friends. It'll be a real hoot. But only if you throw away your immature attitude that your past is worth preserving. It is not. You can be better.
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Rainbows!
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#172
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Uni is what you make of it I imagine although I haven't been yet and it must be hard to enjoy yourself and socialise when you feel so segregated.

Is it money that worries you? Their attitudes/beliefs and opinions? They must be something. I know how you feel there, I sometimes feel quite different around people who come from more affluent backgrounds. They probably don't care though because I am sure they have gone to the same Uni for the same reasons as you, good education and a decent social life.
Rather than see this experience as a negative, why don't you try to turn it on it's head and see it more positively. Think of it as rounding off your character being able to mix and integrate with people from a variety of backgrounds. I am sure their attitudes and experiences of public school etc will be interesting and funny and I am sure you can bring the same. In fact, you may find you bounce of each other and learn to appreciate the differences in lifestyle and background.

If you really are struggling though to mix and feel comfortable, maybe it is now you should be looking into a different Uni which has a larger proportion of working class students. I am sure this could be achievable After all, if you have tried hard and your still really not enjoying it and were now going into February, maybe it is time to reassess just how much attending that Uni means to you opposed to doing the same degree at a place you personally feel more comfortable. I found there is a lot more to applying to a Uni than just how 'prestigious' it is
Hope this helped a bit! Good luck!
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smm123
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#173
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I started at uni in september and I still feel totally alone.

I come from quite a rough place and I had to work bl**dy hard to get through school, never mind uni, and I feel totally out of place. Its quite a 'rah' place, and even the people who aren't stuck up and are nice are quite priviliged, and I don't really feel like I fit in with any of them.

My flatmates are lovely, and make an effort to invite me to things and get me invloved, and even cheer me up when they can tell I'm down, but I cut myself off a bit because I felt awkward being so different, so they're a lot closer and 'get' each other a lot more.

Because I was so down, of all the societies I joined, I've only really gone to stuff for one of them, and I've made quite a few friends there, but we only see each other once/twice a week as we all do different courses and are in different years so live all over the place.

Worst of alll are the people on my course. Most of the boys went to whichever public school together and won't talk to you anyway, and the girls are *****y, Jack wills clad, ratty haired blonde types called Cordelia and Arabella, who need a slap.

I have nothing in common with these people, I'd be embarassed to show even my housemates where I live, I don't think many people here have even walked past a council estate, let alone lived in one.

Should I just leave and go somewhere less pretentious, or is it my fault? I feel like I've missed the friendship boat, but then I don't really know who I'd want to be friends with. Which of the better unis have a good mix of people? Yah-yahs get very irritating very quickly!


Thanks for reading my rant, I've been bottling it up for quite some time


(Sorry if I sound whiney, I'm incredibly grateful to be at uni, so many of the people I went to school with were never given a chance, and its a kick in the teeth to see for myself that at my uni at least, mummy, daddy and the name of your school count for more than hard graft)
Hi. I have graduated now, but I just wanted to say that during the first year of my course I felt the same. My secondary school was a crap comp and I lived in a council house. I initially did feel a bit isolated, having nothing in common with my housemates.

However I reassured myself with two things:
a) I had got myself to uni, no one else. Mummy and Daddy and their connections didn't get me there. I didn't have tutoring etc etc. Out of everyone at my uni, I deserved to be there through hard-work
b) This was a one in a lifetime opportunity to get to know people outside of my social circle. Like you I had nothing in common with a lot of people at uni. However, in time you find people you like and have the same interests. Whilst its probably no coincidence that my best friends at uni were the ones with similar backgrounds, you can be friends with posh people believe me! You are not inferior (see point a).

Hope this helps. I know how you feel. I was the one of three people on my UG to go to a comp let alone be "poor".
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_Izzy
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#174
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(Original post by Magickal)
Feel the need to add to other posters, Durham is lovely and so are the people. There are posh people everywhere but there are normal people too. Yes a lot of us are Oxbridge rejects but we're all happy to be where we are. People really aren't that posh, I'm Northern and have never felt out of place
Thank you This has made me feel loads better. I've been really looking forward to going to Durham in the Autumn (hopefully!) but it just worries me a bit when I hear people bashing Durham and its students, although I'm sure, as you say, it isn't how people make it out to be. Thanks We find out our college allocations on Tuesday - exciting
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Magickal
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(Original post by _Izzy)
Thank you This has made me feel loads better. I've been really looking forward to going to Durham in the Autumn (hopefully!) but it just worries me a bit when I hear people bashing Durham and its students, although I'm sure, as you say, it isn't how people make it out to be. Thanks We find out our college allocations on Tuesday - exciting
Yeah, which college did you apply to? I'm at St Cuthbert's (which is totally the best)
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Phil90974
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#176
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I come from one of the most deprived areas in the country and a school that performs well below average, and I'm relishing the thought of going to university next year because it is my reward for working hard. Just think, no matter where everybody else has come from, you're there because you deserve to be.
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Table dust
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first world problems huh
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takeadeepbreath
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#178
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(Original post by Magickal)
Yeah, which college did you apply to? I'm at St Cuthbert's (which is totally the best)
I was going to apply to at cuthberts, went for Collingwood instead ;')
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takeadeepbreath
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#179
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(Original post by _Izzy)
Thank you This has made me feel loads better. I've been really looking forward to going to Durham in the Autumn (hopefully!) but it just worries me a bit when I hear people bashing Durham and its students, although I'm sure, as you say, it isn't how people make it out to be. Thanks We find out our college allocations on Tuesday - exciting
I'm hoping to go to Durham too next year what course have you applied for?
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321zero
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#180
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I started at uni in september and I still feel totally alone.

I come from quite a rough place and I had to work bl**dy hard to get through school, never mind uni, and I feel totally out of place. Its quite a 'rah' place, and even the people who aren't stuck up and are nice are quite priviliged, and I don't really feel like I fit in with any of them.

My flatmates are lovely, and make an effort to invite me to things and get me invloved, and even cheer me up when they can tell I'm down, but I cut myself off a bit because I felt awkward being so different, so they're a lot closer and 'get' each other a lot more.

Because I was so down, of all the societies I joined, I've only really gone to stuff for one of them, and I've made quite a few friends there, but we only see each other once/twice a week as we all do different courses and are in different years so live all over the place.

Worst of alll are the people on my course. Most of the boys went to whichever public school together and won't talk to you anyway, and the girls are *****y, Jack wills clad, ratty haired blonde types called Cordelia and Arabella, who need a slap.

I have nothing in common with these people, I'd be embarassed to show even my housemates where I live, I don't think many people here have even walked past a council estate, let alone lived in one.

Should I just leave and go somewhere less pretentious, or is it my fault? I feel like I've missed the friendship boat, but then I don't really know who I'd want to be friends with. Which of the better unis have a good mix of people? Yah-yahs get very irritating very quickly!


Thanks for reading my rant, I've been bottling it up for quite some time


(Sorry if I sound whiney, I'm incredibly grateful to be at uni, so many of the people I went to school with were never given a chance, and its a kick in the teeth to see for myself that at my uni at least, mummy, daddy and the name of your school count for more than hard graft)

F*ck 'um. Be proud of your background. Some of these people will have had everything handed to them on a plate and their education spoon fed. Don't hide who you are. I knew someone who went to Durham who completely sold out on her background, pretended she was from a different town and changed her god damn accent. Pathetic.

Chin up. Be proud that you worked so hard.
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