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    (Original post by Jokerjon)
    Your sex must have been amazing for your boyfriend too put up with paying for everything in the 1st year.
    I am a virgin.
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    (Original post by LJStudent)
    In my experience of dating at university, girls seem to want to split or actually pay for mine as well (This actually happened once!! Couldn't believe my luck ).

    When I was still in sixth form I used to pay for my girlfriend every single time we went shopping/went out somewhere and she expected this in such a grotesque and un-lady like fashion. It's like seriously, have some dignity? It was absolutely pathetic.

    I know that I'd feel very uncomfortable if someone always paid for me every time we went and did something.


    In response to a lot of the discussion above, if some women so desperately seek equality, and rightly so, paying for your own stuff might be a start? I'm not saying that all women who let guys pay for them are doing this because they feel entitled, but maybe just have a think about it. Most of the time, the guy's only paying because cultural norms dictate so, and not because he actually WANTS to (however, sometimes guys genuinely do want to pay).
    And the point is not exactly about the money, but the approach to paying.

    To offer to pay is a gesture of respect and dignity, it doesn't actually mean you have to.
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    (Original post by clh_hilary)
    Correction: If your boyfriend says it's fair, it's fair to him. Not to everybody.

    I'm sorry but I don't treat my partner like a prostitute. I pay if I want to, but I prefer not the shallow and dependent type.
    Good on ya.
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    (Original post by Old_Simon)
    Notice how women switch in and out of a feminist agenda a la carte. The OP no doubt believes in and enjoys all manner of "women's rights" but really she is happiest selling her company for cash. In her view it is the role of a man to do that and indeed a man who can not can't "date". Well can't date her and like minded women anyway. That is the bottom line. IMHO it is cheaper, better value and more satisfying hiring an escort.
    Some women. Some. And OP is no feminist.

    There are a few posts in this thread whining 'oh this is what feminism really is' - no, it freaking isn't. Get out of your arse. This has nothing to do with feminism, bar it being a brilliant trigger to talk about equality and some peoples' stupid, outdated views that they cling to just to act like princesses, under the guise of a mere 'it's just what I find attractive'. I tout the fem stick harder than some, and I find this perspective so disappointing.
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    (Original post by Top Queen)
    Loool, my boyfriend is naturally funny and even if he has nothing to say, I would always spark conversation anyway, we never stop talking, either he is or I am, there is no effort required in that, it's more of a passive process.

    Yes I do expect him to have a well-built body, because he expects me to have a nice body too, so that one goes too ways,

    I barely wear makeup so it isn't even that process that takes a long time, there is a lot I do. I also don't expect him to have the bank of bill gates, but I wouldn't date someone if I had more money than them, which a lot of times has happened - especially because most of those boys aren't even interesting or anything I'd even want to be with let alone the paying issue.
    Oh hmm. So he's 'naturally' funny but you're not naturally good-looking, so he needs to pay for your effort to cover up your many imperfections?
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    (Original post by awe)
    Some women. Some. And OP is no feminist.

    There are a few posts in this thread whining 'oh this is what feminism really is' - no, it freaking isn't. Get out of your arse. This has nothing to do with feminism, bar it being a brilliant trigger to talk about equality and some peoples' stupid, outdated views that they cling to just to act like princesses, under the guise of a mere 'it's just what I find attractive'. I tout the fem stick harder than some, and I find this perspective so disappointing.
    And this actually is the reason why many are so disgusted with feminism. It's this kind of twisted misconception of it turning people away.

    And it's not beneficial to either sexes. (Or the third sex.)
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    (Original post by Top Queen)
    Yes, for two years. Well he actually tells me I'm his princess and he doesn't want me to worry about anything, he just wants me to enjoy it so I've just been doing that for two years. Love isn't about money, I fell in love with him before we even went on a date, we just used to hang out in groups.
    Don't you ever worry that you're being treated like a pet dog, having someone pay for you and call you "princess" all the time? That's what I would be constantly thinking.

    I'd rather split 50/50, or even pay most of the share entirely. That being said, every time I try to buy a guy a meal just as a friendly gesture or because I owe them previously, they always look at me like "Noo woman put your money away." Maybe it's a pride thing.
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    (Original post by Top Queen)
    Good on ya.
    Optimistically you will also soon pick up the traditional idea that you should indeed be submissive.
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    (Original post by Top Queen)
    Yes, for two years. Well he actually tells me I'm his princess and he doesn't want me to worry about anything, he just wants me to enjoy it so I've just been doing that for two years. Love isn't about money, I fell in love with him before we even went on a date, we just used to hang out in groups.

    You should because it's a gentleman thing to do. I wouldn't expect my boyfriend to pay for the rent etc, of course we should take turns etc, but if he can't pay for our days out or at least most of them..
    "Gentleman" thing to do... So by that standard you should do all the cooking, cleaning and ironing because it's the "womanly" thing to do right?

    I do the majority of the cooking & cleaning but also do pay for days out when I can. But because I don't expect my gf to do all the housework, I don't expect to pay all the expenses.
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    I usually split 50:50 with any guy, makes life so much easier and you establish common ground.

    The girls I know that get their boyfriend to pay are rather demanding and vain. I think we all want to be spoiled a few times by our partner, but we also want a fair, equal relationship.
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    (Original post by Another)
    Don't you ever worry that you're being treated like a pet dog, having someone pay for you and call you "princess" all the time? That's what I would be constantly thinking.

    I'd rather split 50/50, or even pay most of the share entirely. That being said, every time I try to buy a guy a meal just as a friendly gesture or because I owe them previously, they always look at me like "Noo woman put your money away." Maybe it's a pride thing.
    Yes, but that's really beyond the point. It is a respect from you to your male dining partner(s) and yourself to offer to pay for your own portion of a meal. It is a basic act of politeness. You don't need to insist on paying if the other party doesn't want you to, but it's an indicator of your being an equal being.
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    (Original post by Another)
    Don't you ever worry that you're being treated like a pet dog, having someone pay for you and call you "princess" all the time? That's what I would be constantly thinking.

    I'd rather split 50/50, or even pay most of the share entirely. That being said, every time I try to buy a guy a meal just as a friendly gesture or because I owe them previously, they always look at me like "Noo woman put your money away." Maybe it's a pride thing.
    Nope, not really. He tells me I'm a princess and I love it. I love everything he does, if you see it as that then fair enough.
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    (Original post by Top Queen)
    I wouldn't be like erm hey pay for me now, but when we were alone after I'd be like maybe you need to pay for me sometimes, or if it was the first date, I wouldn't meet them again.

    I could be with someone who couldn't pay for my food, that isn't a problem, but if we always went out to places and they couldn't pay for me then I couldn't be with them. It's a quality that I find attractive in a male, some females like tall men, I like men who can pay and treat their girls.
    That's funny, I have the complete opposite idea; any girl who expects me to pay for the first date I don't see again.
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    (Original post by Steezy)
    "Gentleman" thing to do... So by that standard you should do all the cooking, cleaning and ironing because it's the "womanly" thing to do right?

    I do the majority of the cooking & cleaning but also do pay for days out when I can. But because I don't expect my gf to do all the housework, I don't expect to pay all the expenses.
    He has a maid who does his ironing and cleaning, I've tried washing his dishes before but he refuses and puts them in the dishwasher.
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    (Original post by Kandybars)
    In my past experiences, the guy has always paid for the first date, usually because he initiated it. However, there was one occasion where the guy never paid for me on the few dates we had. He even expected me to pay half when he had a 2 for 1 cinema tickets which didn't make sense to me...but he wasn't really the gentleman type for a lot of aspects easily...he even just opened doors for himself, usually not bothering to hold them open for me at least but anyway....
    I think it's nice when guys pay but I always offer anyway, just in case. However, splitting is already awkward enough with friends, never mind with a partner. It's really annoying getting the calculator out and trying to divide as equally as possible so I wouldn't say splitting is the best idea. Or maybe, if wherever you go on the date was your idea, you should be the one to pay?


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    You can't divide by two in your head?

    Seriously?

    Also, "you invited so you should pay" is just a cop-out as men are expected to initiate/invite.
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    (Original post by awe)
    Some women. Some. And OP is no feminist.

    There are a few posts in this thread whining 'oh this is what feminism really is' - no, it freaking isn't. Get out of your arse. This has nothing to do with feminism, bar it being a brilliant trigger to talk about equality and some peoples' stupid, outdated views that they cling to just to act like princesses, under the guise of a mere 'it's just what I find attractive'. I tout the fem stick harder than some, and I find this perspective so disappointing.
    You're a cutie ya know :yes:

    (Original post by Another)
    Don't you ever worry that you're being treated like a pet dog, having someone pay for you and call you "princess" all the time? That's what I would be constantly thinking.

    I'd rather split 50/50, or even pay most of the share entirely. That being said, every time I try to buy a guy a meal just as a friendly gesture or because I owe them previously, they always look at me like "Noo woman put your money away." Maybe it's a pride thing.
    If I have my card out first to pay, and she tries to split 50/50 or something or make an issue out of it, I'd find it embarrassing tbh.If she wants to pay, she can beat me to the punch and have her card out instead :p:

    Nothing against a girl paying for me though, as long as she gets there first :p: Once my card is out, it's on me.

    I remember being bored one night and meeting up with a TSR user for curry. I actually took a friend too and tried to hook the two of them up :teehee: Anyway, by the time I had my card out it was obviously obvious I was gonna pay for all three of us. Only £70 or so anyway. My mate didn't even blink, but this girl wanted to pay 'her share' or something :rofl: So unnecessary.

    On the other hand I had an ex who had a rich daddy. Didn't even bother getting my card out in that situation. Credit limit would have been instafried.
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    (Original post by Top Queen)
    He has a maid who does his ironing and cleaning, I've tried washing his dishes before but he refuses and puts them in the dishwasher.
    Sorry but I think you're trolling.

    If you're not, your boyfriend is an absolute saint for putting up with you tbh.

    You don't have sex, you expect him to pay for most things (fair enough he offers but just the fact that you expect it makes you sound like a pretty lousy person) and you don't help out with housework?

    You just sound like a really expensive pet.

    I struggle to see the point in your existence....
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    (Original post by Steezy)
    Sorry but I think you're trolling.

    If you're not, your boyfriend is an absolute saint for putting up with you tbh.

    You don't have sex, you expect him to pay for most things (fair enough he offers but just the fact that you expect it makes you sound like a pretty lousy person) and you don't help out with housework?

    You just sound like a really expensive pet.

    I struggle to see the point in your existence....
    He is a saint. I exist for a reason, don't ever say such a thing, life is a gift. I help out with the housework whenever I can. He has a maid and he hates me doing work.
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    (Original post by Top Queen)
    He is a saint. I exist for a reason, don't ever say such a thing, life is a gift. I help out with the housework whenever I can. He has a maid and he hates me doing work.
    What is the reason? What do you bring to the table?
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    It made sense when men worked and women didn't, but think the tradition is out dated now to be honest. Think you should split things around 50:50
 
 
 
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