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Girlfriend turned vegan - do we have to break up?? Watch

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    You think shes being selfish?!?! You OP sounds incredibly selfish.

    As someone who has looked into veganism and is a veggie I can firmly understand her decision to avoid meat. I calmed down after a few years and will now cook it for friends/family if they come over but don't eat it myself.

    If you didnt have a gf...how would you feed yourself? There is your answer. Cook for yourself, or perhaps be a little bit more open-minded to her new lifestyle. My bf was a carnivore before we met and he nows eat veggie meals 90% of the time. There are aome GREAT vegan/veggie recipes (btw is she vegan..or vegetarian? As you mention both but they're quite different).

    She is probably going through a seriously mentally tough time right now if she has been opened up to the unethical side to being an omnivore. (Assuming its this). Try and understand where she is coming from and maybe you'll want to cut down on your meat intake aswell.

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    (Original post by blue_one)
    You think shes being selfish?!?! You OP sounds incredibly selfish.

    As someone who has looked into veganism and is a veggie I can firmly understand her decision to avoid meat. I calmed down after a few years and will now cook it for friends/family if they come over but don't eat it myself.

    If you didnt have a gf...how would you feed yourself? There is your answer. Cook for yourself, or perhaps be a little bit more open-minded to her new lifestyle. My bf was a carnivore before we met and he nows eat veggie meals 90% of the time. There are aome GREAT vegan/veggie recipes (btw is she vegan..or vegetarian? As you mention both but they're quite different).

    She is probably going through a seriously mentally tough time right now if she has been opened up to the unethical side to being an omnivore. (Assuming its this). Try and understand where she is coming from and maybe you'll want to cut down on your meat intake aswell.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Again someone who clearly hasn't read this thread properly.. YES, she was being selfish, not because she wouldn't cook meat but because she wouldn't contribute equally to the household. As said many times before, the problem has already been sorted. I shall quote my own post:


    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Wanted to reply to some individually, but as there are so many replies I'll just make one big reply to everyone.

    Thanks for all the good replies, some were really good and plenty of ideas. Some of the other hand, sounded like idiots who didn't even read my posts properly - the problem was not my taste for meat, but the fact that she isn't contributing to our household equally. When she used to cook for me as well, I felt that we were more equal in everything. By the way, she earns about 8k per year and I earn 40k.. I'm paying most of our rent.

    Also I noticed some people telling me to eat vegan things.. I have never seen a succesful/big vegan bodybuilder. I actually had this argument with a vegan friend once and she sent me a link to a vegan bodybuilding site. They had good bodies, but looked like skinny fitness models rather than bodybuilders! You cannot beat the amino acid profile of animal proteins. I dont even understand how one could make a vegan equivalent to my dinner (cutting at the moment) for example (250g chicken breast with 200g broccoli, which equals to nearly 70g protein with only 4g carbs!)

    Yesterday I had a talk with her and told her she has three options:

    1. Stop being silly, stick to your diet but cook me meals that suit my diet!
    or
    2. I cook my own meals, but you will pay exactly half of the rent (half of the rent would equal her whole salary)
    or
    3. Pack your things and leave!

    To my surprise, I got home today and guess what was waiting for me on the table:

    http://imagizer.imageshack.us/a/img835/4435/kn68.jpg

    She apologised for being so silly and promised things will change. We made a compromise, that she will cook me meats that are responsibly sourced from local farms, or wild game meats!! I'm fine with this, although it is a little more expensive I'm very happy with this compromise. In fact, I can't wait to try out some game meats!

    So glad we found a solution, because other than this issue we've never had any problems in our relationship.

    I hope everyone has a good Easter! and plenty of Easter Lamb
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Me and my girlfriend have been together for a year and have lived together for a few months.

    She's always been a fan of vegetables but recently she decided to turn completely vegan. I have nothing against her views and totally respect her decision - it does not bother me what she eats. But this is not the problem..

    The problem is, that in our household we have divided our tasks in the following way: I'm working full time, and earn most of the money for us. My girlfriend only works part time, but she cooks the evening meals and does most of the household chores. On the weekends, I cook and participate in all possible chores, so I feel we have equally divided everything. With her new thing, I also cook some nice vegetarian things along with other foods on the weekends for her to eat.

    The problem is now that my girlfriend has decided she won't touch or cook meat anymore. This is really bad for me because I'm usually home only around 7:30pm after I've been to the gym after work and most of the time I'm starving. Now with this new vegan thing, she only cooks vegetarian meals, which means that I have to cook for myself. I'm a meat eater, and need a proper portion of meat to get the required protein. I'm more than happy to have some of her carrot soup for a starter, but I do need some proper food too.

    This has made things really difficult for us and it's very exhausting to me. After a full day of work the last thing I want to do is start cooking, I want to relax. I like cooking, but just don't have the time and I can't eat ready meals every day, afterall, I'm a healthy eater.

    I have told her this is very selfish from her. I'd be even willing to change so that I was working part time and did the cooking instead, but my job won't allow this. This has caused for us to argue for the last 3 weeks..

    Is breaking up the only option if she won't change her habits?
    But you dooooon't http://www.independent.co.uk/life-st...t-9049699.html
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    #1

    Mr Morris says that his health greatly improved after he retired from competitive bodybuilding in 1985 and became a vegetarian and then later a vegan.

    He was a meat eater back in the day when he was still a bodybuilder.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Me and my girlfriend have been together for a year and have lived together for a few months.

    She's always been a fan of vegetables but recently she decided to turn completely vegan. I have nothing against her views and totally respect her decision - it does not bother me what she eats. But this is not the problem..

    The problem is, that in our household we have divided our tasks in the following way: I'm working full time, and earn most of the money for us. My girlfriend only works part time, but she cooks the evening meals and does most of the household chores. On the weekends, I cook and participate in all possible chores, so I feel we have equally divided everything. With her new thing, I also cook some nice vegetarian things along with other foods on the weekends for her to eat.

    The problem is now that my girlfriend has decided she won't touch or cook meat anymore. This is really bad for me because I'm usually home only around 7:30pm after I've been to the gym after work and most of the time I'm starving. Now with this new vegan thing, she only cooks vegetarian meals, which means that I have to cook for myself. I'm a meat eater, and need a proper portion of meat to get the required protein. I'm more than happy to have some of her carrot soup for a starter, but I do need some proper food too.

    This has made things really difficult for us and it's very exhausting to me. After a full day of work the last thing I want to do is start cooking, I want to relax. I like cooking, but just don't have the time and I can't eat ready meals every day, afterall, I'm a healthy eater.

    I have told her this is very selfish from her. I'd be even willing to change so that I was working part time and did the cooking instead, but my job won't allow this. This has caused for us to argue for the last 3 weeks..

    Is breaking up the only option if she won't change her habits?
    u could hook me up with her! I want to be vegan and need someone to be vegan with. Veganism is cool. All credit to her!


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    This is legitimately the first time I've ever heard someone considering a break up food
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    Yes,, generally speaking you should always break up with vegans because most of them argue that vegetarianism benefits the food chain because like oranges aren't living beings you know! But since your girlfriend seems so nice that she's turned vegetarian simply because she loves eating vegetables, I think you should leave this appalling attitude of breaking up with a girl just because she doesn't comply with your cooking requirements. I know it's difficult to handle work + dating, but this kind of attitude would hurt her really.

    It might not be as romantic every evening as you thought it would be, you know with the whole "she'll have a meal ready for you every evening" :zomg: if your mature enough to work already, don't you think you should understand on some nights it's okay for you to do the cooking yourself, you know, alone? How about doing something really simple and swapping your weekend chores with her evening meals? You don't have to cook it every evening, just do it over the weekend - the practical way :lolwut: !
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Mr Morris says that his health greatly improved after he retired from competitive bodybuilding in 1985 and became a vegetarian and then later a vegan.

    He was a meat eater back in the day when he was still a bodybuilder.
    Ok, I didn't read the article carefully enough. But you definitely can get enough protein from a vegan diet, the biggest guy I know hasn't eaten meat for years
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    (Original post by suedonim)
    You are not respecting her decision, you want her to change for you.

    Vegan meals can and should include protein in the form e.g of pulses, tofu, quorn, nut butters, soy and almond milks.

    Buy her a copy of a good cookbook, maybe http://www.amazon.co.uk/High-Protein.../dp/1480084549
    shes nots respecting his decision she wants him to change.

    Frankly OP if she expects you to cook vegan stuff for her she should respect that you are a meat eater and cook meat for you. By not doing it shes essentially saying that her dietary wants are more important than his
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    (Original post by suedonim)
    You are not respecting her decision, you want her to change for you.
    You could easily turn that around and say that she's expecting him to change for her and is not respecting his choice of diet.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Me and my girlfriend have been together for a year and have lived together for a few months.

    She's always been a fan of vegetables but recently she decided to turn completely vegan. I have nothing against her views and totally respect her decision - it does not bother me what she eats. But this is not the problem..

    The problem is, that in our household we have divided our tasks in the following way: I'm working full time, and earn most of the money for us. My girlfriend only works part time, but she cooks the evening meals and does most of the household chores. On the weekends, I cook and participate in all possible chores, so I feel we have equally divided everything. With her new thing, I also cook some nice vegetarian things along with other foods on the weekends for her to eat.

    The problem is now that my girlfriend has decided she won't touch or cook meat anymore. This is really bad for me because I'm usually home only around 7:30pm after I've been to the gym after work and most of the time I'm starving. Now with this new vegan thing, she only cooks vegetarian meals, which means that I have to cook for myself. I'm a meat eater, and need a proper portion of meat to get the required protein. I'm more than happy to have some of her carrot soup for a starter, but I do need some proper food too.

    This has made things really difficult for us and it's very exhausting to me. After a full day of work the last thing I want to do is start cooking, I want to relax. I like cooking, but just don't have the time and I can't eat ready meals every day, afterall, I'm a healthy eater.

    I have told her this is very selfish from her. I'd be even willing to change so that I was working part time and did the cooking instead, but my job won't allow this. This has caused for us to argue for the last 3 weeks..

    Is breaking up the only option if she won't change her habits?
    'Why did you guys break up?...' '....vegetables'

    You can get protein from lots of other sources... there's meat substitutes for instance. Wholegrain stuff... cheese, if she will allow :P or just supplement shakes post workout.
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    (Original post by silverbolt)
    shes nots respecting his decision she wants him to change.

    Frankly OP if she expects you to cook vegan stuff for her she should respect that you are a meat eater and cook meat for you. By not doing it shes essentially saying that her dietary wants are more important than his
    (Original post by Holby_fanatic)
    You could easily turn that around and say that she's expecting him to change for her and is not respecting his choice of diet.
    Rubbish. She hasn't suggested he stop eating meat, she objected to cooking it so cooked him other food, he just didn't want to eat what she cooked. It's up to him whether he cooks for her, no suggestion that she expected him to do so. However he's now resolved his probem by bullying her and showing her that he thinks he has bought her so she should leave as soon as she has someplace else to go.
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    I do understand your dilemma.
    I'm not a vegan, but I'm a vegetarian, so this is how I see it. Firstly, you said you needed meat to get your required amount of protein from. That's not true! You can get every dietary requirement even if you're living a vegetarian or vegan lifestyle.
    I know that from your point of view you might find it weird that she won't touch or cook meat, but I completely understand why. From the sounds of it her choice to not eat meat/dairy is from an ethical perspective, therefore she probably isn't comfortable with the idea of having contact with meat or dairy. And although you find that weird, it's something you should respect

    I honestly don't think you should break up over this. I know that it will be hard but you just have to compromise. I know your girlfriend does the cooking, but at weekends you could make food for the upcoming week and then freeze it? So then you don't have to eat your girlfriend's vegan meals all the time? I honestly just think you need to compromise, you'll work it out
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    (Original post by SeventeenSeconds)
    I do understand your dilemma.
    I'm not a vegan, but I'm a vegetarian, so this is how I see it. Firstly, you said you needed meat to get your required amount of protein from. That's not true! You can get every dietary requirement even if you're living a vegetarian or vegan lifestyle.
    I know that from your point of view you might find it weird that she won't touch or cook meat, but I completely understand why. From the sounds of it her choice to not eat meat/dairy is from an ethical perspective, therefore she probably isn't comfortable with the idea of having contact with meat or dairy. And although you find that weird, it's something you should respect

    I honestly don't think you should break up over this. I know that it will be hard but you just have to compromise. I know your girlfriend does the cooking, but at weekends you could make food for the upcoming week and then freeze it? So then you don't have to eat your girlfriend's vegan meals all the time? I honestly just think you need to compromise, you'll work it out

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Wanted to reply to some individually, but as there are so many replies I'll just make one big reply to everyone.

    Thanks for all the good replies, some were really good and plenty of ideas. Some of the other hand, sounded like idiots who didn't even read my posts properly - the problem was not my taste for meat, but the fact that she isn't contributing to our household equally. When she used to cook for me as well, I felt that we were more equal in everything. By the way, she earns about 8k per year and I earn 40k.. I'm paying most of our rent.

    Also I noticed some people telling me to eat vegan things.. I have never seen a succesful/big vegan bodybuilder. I actually had this argument with a vegan friend once and she sent me a link to a vegan bodybuilding site. They had good bodies, but looked like skinny fitness models rather than bodybuilders! You cannot beat the amino acid profile of animal proteins. I dont even understand how one could make a vegan equivalent to my dinner (cutting at the moment) for example (250g chicken breast with 200g broccoli, which equals to nearly 70g protein with only 4g carbs!)

    Yesterday I had a talk with her and told her she has three options:

    1. Stop being silly, stick to your diet but cook me meals that suit my diet!
    or
    2. I cook my own meals, but you will pay exactly half of the rent (half of the rent would equal her whole salary)
    or
    3. Pack your things and leave!

    To my surprise, I got home today and guess what was waiting for me on the table:

    http://imagizer.imageshack.us/a/img835/4435/kn68.jpg

    She apologised for being so silly and promised things will change. We made a compromise, that she will cook me meats that are responsibly sourced from local farms, or wild game meats!! I'm fine with this, although it is a little more expensive I'm very happy with this compromise. In fact, I can't wait to try out some game meats!

    So glad we found a solution, because other than this issue we've never had any problems in our relationship.

    I hope everyone has a good Easter! and plenty of Easter Lamb
    ..
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    (Original post by Gray Wolf)
    Decide how much she means to you and depending on the answer you will have to buy ready to eat chicken from Tescos either way.
    :rofl:
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    (Original post by suedonim)
    You are not respecting her decision, you want her to change for you.

    Vegan meals can and should include protein in the form e.g of pulses, tofu, quorn, nut butters, soy and almond milks.

    Buy her a copy of a good cookbook, maybe http://www.amazon.co.uk/High-Protein.../dp/1480084549

    Tell her you need more protein.

    If you really want to break up do so, don't pretend it's because of the food
    ummm..quorn isn't vegan

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    Yes break up immediately.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    the problem was not my taste for meat, but the fact that she isn't contributing to our household equally. When she used to cook for me as well, I felt that we were more equal in everything. By the way, she earns about 8k per year and I earn 40k.. I'm paying most of our rent.

    Also I noticed some people telling me to eat vegan things.. I have never seen a succesful/big vegan bodybuilder. I actually had this argument with a vegan friend once and she sent me a link to a vegan bodybuilding site. They had good bodies, but looked like skinny fitness models rather than bodybuilders! You cannot beat the amino acid profile of animal proteins. I dont even understand how one could make a vegan equivalent to my dinner (cutting at the moment) for example (250g chicken breast with 200g broccoli, which equals to nearly 70g protein with only 4g carbs!)

    Yesterday I had a talk with her and told her she has three options:

    1. Stop being silly, stick to your diet but cook me meals that suit my diet!
    or
    2. I cook my own meals, but you will pay exactly half of the rent (half of the rent would equal her whole salary)
    or
    3. Pack your things and leave!

    To my surprise, I got home today and guess what was waiting for me on the table:

    http://imagizer.imageshack.us/a/img835/4435/kn68.jpg http://static1.tsrfiles.co.uk/10.11/...lies/smile.png

    She apologised for being so silly and promised things will change. We made a compromise, that she will cook me meats that are responsibly sourced from local farms, or wild game meats!! I'm fine with this, although it is a little more expensive I'm very happy with this compromise. In fact, I can't wait to try out some game meats!

    So glad we found a solution, because other than this issue we've never had any problems in our relationship.
    You sounds like a truly abysmal boyfriend and person. You gave her an ultimatum to either transgress a not unreasonable ethical conviction clearly important to her, or to 'pack her things and leave'? Did she have anywhere to go? Could she simply step into a higher-waged/houred position to increase her wage such that she could immediately contribute £8,000 to rent? The reason ultimately being: money - you wouldn't mind if only she consigned her entire wage to joint rent - despite you earning far in excess of what is sufficient to live a very decent life; and the narcissism of body-building, on the debatable claim of needing a meat-based amino acid profile. If your priorities are so, money and physical aesthetics over your actual relationship - which you haven't actually spoken to once - then I despair for you.
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    OP you need to toughen up a bit and learn to cook.

    You don't have the energy to cook because you're home at 7:30....?

    Some days if I've been working off site I don't get back home till about 10:30, I have to walk through town via the station, get some food from the Sainsburys Express and cook it. It really doesn't take long to cook a healthy and nutritous meal: you can bang together some potatoes/pasta/rice/stir fry or boiled vegetables, fish, chicken or turkey in 30-40 minutes.
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    (Original post by Welsh Bluebird)
    Why should he conform to her ways and eat vegetarian alternatives just cause she's being incredibly immature? Won't handle meat just because of her choice. Right, what if he made the choice not to make food for her on weekends? I bet she'd be really pleased if he took that attitude. She's simply being incredibly immature and needs to grow up.

    Either OP is dating an 8 year old or someone with the mentality of one. Im not a vegan but if my other half was then I'd buy vegan stuff she wished for during shopping and if she liked fish, even though im not a fan of it, i'd still handle it and cook it for her. Its called compromise and being an adult.

    OP, no offence mate but dump her and find a woman with a bit of a brain. She needs to get her act together.



    As pointed out above, he shouldn't have to do this. He's working full time and she's being incredibly selfish and immature by saying she wont touch meat to just prepare meals for him. What should happen is OP's girlfriend should wake up and get her act together and understand relationships are about compromise or OP should leave her and then maybe she'll realise what an immature fool she's been and wake up that way.



    Great post and 100% agree. She's being immature and selfish.



    How have you come to that conclusion? Please do elaborate. He cooks for her on weekends and even cooks her vegan food because thats what commitment is.



    His circumstances are completely different. He's working full time, she's working part time. She doesn't want to touch meat and compromise with him then he should take the same immature attitude with her when it comes to finances or something else. Why should he compromise when she's unwilling to do so? What if he claimed he wasn't going to handle or cook vegetables and took the same immature approach?



    Almost died with laughter. Why should he have to conform to her lifestyle choices just because she won't cook meat? He shouldn't. She's being totally unreasonable. No one is asking her to eat the food. I wonder how she would feel if he refused to cook vegetables on weekends. I bet she'd be quite peeved and rightly so because its an immature attitude.

    Also, no you cant get more than enough protein whilst lifting to maintain gains. That's insane to suggest that. Most vegetarian bodybuilders use soy protein powders. Again, why should he have to conform and use alternatives because of her? You yourself even mentioned supplements. Why should he be taking supplements for something he can gain from eating meats and foods he enjoys and likes? She's being unreasonable and nobody is asking her to eat such food but just cook it. There is absolutely nothing hard about her cooking meat for him. She could in fact do it without even handling the actual meat. Slit the film and turn it upside and let it drop into the bloody frying pan.

    Wow......such gravity...such physics....much science. :rolleyes:



    Your mentality of women always being the victim is disturbing. In what way is he trying to threaten her? Hes actively supported her by cooking vegan food for her FFS. Do you just pick and choose what you read? He's supporting her yet she will not support him. Its as silly as him going 'omg i wont touch vegetables cause its for rabbits and so beta. omg how will i ever be as big as Zyzz and get girls to admire me?'. Its immature and quite frankly anyone with such an attitude needs to grow the **** up.



    Yeah but they're in a committed relationship and had an understanding. She changed that due to a change in beliefs and this has affected him. What if he changed his beliefs to something as idiotic that led to him to telling her he refused to cook vegetables? Its immature and its ridiculous. No one is asking her to eat the meat.



    Yeah it doesn't resolve around her either. She's the one who needs to grow up. Why should he have to conform to her newly found ways and accept all the changes? She clearly doesn't value him much. She wont cook him the meal she wants and is putting a newly found way of life over her boyfriend. Wow, what a lovely woman and person she sounds. OP should leave her imo and find a mature woman who knows what actually matters.



    Its not small though is it when its infringing upon his life too. OP, go find a real woman mate who doesn't have such an immature attitude. Im all for a partner being a vegan but not touching meat to cook for their loved one? Laughable. How would she react if you had the same attitude to vegetables? She'd probably be irate and think what? Which is exactly how you must be feeling now. She's putting her newly found lifestyle, ways and beliefs above you so clearly has very little regard for you and what you wish for. Go find someone who does. You've supported her vegan lifestyle by cooking vegan food for her so its not that you're unwilling to compromise.
    you use the word immature often, when in fact if he refused to cook food on weekends to spite her then that would be HIM being immature. as a vegetarian i cook meat for my partner,albeit as little as possible as i find it repulsive.she has a choice,just like he shouldn't have to give up meat,why should she have to touch it? you obviously have little respect and understanding for the vegan lifestyle, it is very often based on moral viewpoints and so completely acceptable to not want to cook dead animals.

    also to the people saying it is unhealthy to eat seperately as a couple, what a load of bull. being in a relationship doesn't make you half of one person, you should still be an independent individual who can do things for oneself. there are 3 options without breaking up: OP should either precook his meat, freeze and add to her meal; cook for himself when he gets back; or just deal and have her meals throughout the week. they could also come to a compromise in which she did more of the other chores around the house instead.

    furthermore, breaking up with her would just make him worse off and perhaps more stressed. he would not only still have to do all his own cooking but ALL the chores too, and most likely financially be worse off as he wouldn't get any help with the bills. All this requires is a little communication.

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