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Why do girls with boyfriends sometimes lead on single guys? Watch

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    Jesus, is this footstool business still going on?
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    Being nice and attentive isn't leading you on.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It doesn't make any sense to me, if they're not happy in their current relationship they should just break up with their partners, why do they want to string us along, it's not fair on us or their boyfriend/girlfriend. A few months a go, I met a guy at a party and we were flirting like crazy and started messaging each other really often, but a few weeks later he then tells me he has a girlfriend (not even long distance). Yet, when I meet up with him just as friends, he initiates a full-out cuddle session with me...
    I agree. It's even worse when they block you meeting other people to keep you as a backup so that you are always single. Seems vindictive!

    (Original post by yo radical one)
    Yes.


    and yes.

    (word it in a sensible way though)
    So how do I stop all her nonsense, so I can happily pursue other women free from her interference? Also how do I ask her to invite the crush to her party? I mean crush already invited this girl to hers. Is she simply not reciprocating so I don't meet a hot girl?
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    (Original post by jmlkhn)
    Ego boost for both parties. Man wants to conquer other man's property so he blindly walks himself into a trap. Woman wants to get attention from as many men as possible, but doesn't leave hers because he has what she wants
    Agreed, but this doesn't strictly apply to this case. Please check my OP. I think the woman aspect fits girls #1 and #2. Girl #2 (also covered in points 3 onward) as well as wanting attention seems to want to stop me from giving other women attention. It's crazy. What is your advice to my specific OP?

    (Original post by Studentus-anonymous)
    Being nice and attentive isn't leading you on.
    Please read my OP. I was unaware that girl #2 rubbing her foot on my crotch was simply being nice and attentive.
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    (Original post by Clip)
    Jesus, is this footstool business still going on?
    Advice? Should I just tell girl #2 in my OP to get lost and invite crush over?
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    (Original post by pshah2)

    So how do I stop all her nonsense, so I can happily pursue other women free from her interference? Also how do I ask her to invite the crush to her party? I mean crush already invited this girl to hers. Is she simply not reciprocating so I don't meet a hot girl?
    You are so flappy honestly.


    If there is a party and you like a girl, invite the girl you like even if she isn't invited, even if it isn't your party. In terms of this girl who was going hot or cold, tell her what I said, if she rejects you, tell her it's not a problem but that she is to leave you alone if you are talking to other people.
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    (Original post by yo radical one)
    You are so flappy honestly.


    If there is a party and you like a girl, invite the girl you like even if she isn't invited, even if it isn't your party. In terms of this girl who was going hot or cold, tell her what I said, if she rejects you, tell her it's not a problem but that she is to leave you alone if you are talking to other people.
    Pls READ the OP before calling me flappy. If I knew the girl I liked, of course I would invite her. That's the whole point. The female friend knows her and is refusing to invite her.

    I don't really care much for the footjob girl. It's the hot girl on her course I am interested in. But I am on a different course and campus, hence the request by me for assistance!!
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    (Original post by LavenderBlueSky88)
    Depends what you mean. I've been accused of leading guys on when I honestly haven't had any intention to do so. When I've had a few drinks I'm very chatty and flirty (with both guys and girls) and basically if someone starts talking to me I will talk back. What am I supposed to do? Stop every guy who might start a conversation? I'd never let it get as far as asking for my number or texting them of course, that's a bit shady.
    As in let's say in this case girl #2 put her foot on my crotch during a card game.
    Then she interrupts a conversation about girls who might be a match for me at the mention of a name of one girl, stating "She's not your type" and hurriedly changing the conversation topic.
    Then she tries to put her legs on me whenever she can.
    She changes the subject when the name of the girl is brought up - the one I like. She also does not invite this girl to her party at halls (despite that girl inviting her to her own birthday). Is this to stop her from meeting me?
    All of this whilst the female friend actually has a boyfriend already.

    What do you make of it?
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    (Original post by yo radical one)
    She did hardly anything, she was a little flirty


    Spend time with more girls, multiple girls and this current girl and your interactions with her with not seem at all significant in your mind.
    Hardly did anything???? Did you read my OP?

    The female friend put her foot on my crotch. She asks to put her legs on me, and always puts them over my thighs near my crotch. She sucked her finger at me one day. She hurriedly changed the topic of conversation when her other friends suggested a hot girl who might hit it off with me and whom I like. She seemed to deliberately not invite this girl back to her own birthday so that she wouldn't meet me.

    All of this, whilst she has a boyfriend already? What is she playing at?
    Surely this is 'something'!!?
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    (Original post by RachaelBee)
    Well that all depends on whether you actually like her or not. If she did break up with her partner now though and got with you would you trust her or would you be constantly worrying about her flirting with other guys behind your back? If so I'd steer clear of a relationship and just stay friends.
    It's complex. I did not think of her in any way before she rubbed her foot on me. After she did this, I do lust for her a little, but I would not want to get in a relationship with her. To be honest, I like this other girl on her course whom I have not met yet. I think I walked past her the other day, but by the time I turned around she was gone. Problem is she is not on my course and I don't frequent/have access to that side of campus. This friend could invite this girl back to her birthday party to reciprocate, but she doesn't. Is it to stop me from meeting her?

    I feel like she wants me to give her attention and is jealous of this other girl. Despite the fact, she already has a boyfriend. I mean, I don't even want to be friends with someone like that who makes someone unhappy to keep their ego boosted.
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    (Original post by Studentus-anonymous)
    Being nice and attentive isn't leading you on.
    Erm... please explain how a female friend rubbing her feet right on my crotch is just being 'nice and attentive'?

    Please read the OP.
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    (Original post by pshah2)
    Hardly did anything???? Did you read my OP?

    The female friend put her foot on my crotch. She asks to put her legs on me, and always puts them over my thighs near my crotch. She sucked her finger at me one day. She hurriedly changed the topic of conversation when her other friends suggested a hot girl who might hit it off with me and whom I like. She seemed to deliberately not invite this girl back to her own birthday so that she wouldn't meet me.

    All of this, whilst she has a boyfriend already? What is she playing at?
    Surely this is 'something'!!?
    She's wildly flirting with you based on your OP, nobody can say otherwise. The trouble is here we are four weeks later and this nonsense is still going on and will continue. You need to be assertive. Take what you want. End the friendship with this girl as she is off the market and try to get with the other girl, if you pull it off you'll feel great about it. This girl will just keep flirting with you and you'll end the year single. You need to take a line out of Harvey Specter's book. Sit her down for a talk, and say: "Unless you're looking to cook me breakfast in the morning, I'd say we're done". Then stroll out of the room, your status absolute and desirability having increased.
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    (Original post by Eboracum)
    Class post man. I enjoyed reading. Admire the honesty at the end as well.

    The trouble you'll have is that you'll end up with neither. You won't get to bang foot job girl, because she's got a boyfriend, and you wouldn't want to get involved with somebody in a relationship anyway as it's only going to end badly. I admit, it would be difficult. I'd be having wild sexual fantasies about a girl if she rubbed her foot on my crotch in public, but she's a tease, you've got to let her go man. Yeah she doesn't sound like ideal gf material if she's physically flirting with other men whilst she has a bf. It is difficult as I say and if you can, you should congratulate yourself immensely. Never let women play with your head. Footjob girl is either bang or avoid, and in this case bang is not an option.

    You best bet is a massively gulp of confidence and just try to meet the other girl. Can be extremely difficult if you're not in the same class or anything. I mean it's going to be almost impossible to approach her at lunch if she's with her mates and it's just you, although if you already know her a bit that is your cue to do it. Has hot girl shown an interest in you?

    Either way, you sound like your not having trouble attracting females, which you should get a buzz from.
    Thanks.

    I have also been having fantasies about her since she has been doing this. I feel so confused after her caressing me with her toes.

    I want to meet the other girl, but don't have access to that side of campus. Best way seems for footjob girl to invite this acquaintaince of hers to her birthday party. After all she was invited to the crush girl's one. I feel like she is not doing it to prevent us from meeting.

    So harsh! How to defeat this controlling mind game queen?
    How to get her rubbing my D out of my head?
    How to meet the crush?!!

    I really want to meet other women. I can in bars thankfully, but in halls, footjob girl always seems to interrupt me when I'm talking to hot girls.
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    (Original post by Eboracum)
    She's wildly flirting with you based on your OP, nobody can say otherwise. The trouble is here we are four weeks later and this nonsense is still going on and will continue. You need to be assertive. Take what you want. End the friendship with this girl as she is off the market and try to get with the other girl, if you pull it off you'll feel great about it. This girl will just keep flirting with you and you'll end the year single. You need to take a line out of Harvey Specter's book. Sit her down for a talk, and say: "Unless you're looking to cook me breakfast in the morning, I'd say we're done". Then stroll out of the room, your status absolute and desirability having increased.
    This is great, love that quote.

    Yeah I have ended my friendship. I have resisted the urge to see her. It took a bit of fapping to her, but I think I have weaned myself off thinking about her. I pretty much don't talk to her unless I have to when I bump into her.

    I think she is unsure what to do lol.

    I have been meeting other girls on campus. Not sure how to meet the crush girl though. Unfortunately the crush girl is on a part of campus I have no access to. The easiest way would be for footjob girl who is on her course to invite her out to a party/dinner where the two of us could meet casually in a party setting. Crush girl invited footjob girl to her own birthday party recently.

    But footjob girl doing this and being a good person seems unlikely. Not sure whether to just state that and say will you do that? Seems like she doesn't want to invite any hot girl to an event I might be at.

    I just feel aggrieved because unless I meet crush girl, it's like footjob girl got her way in the end. She stopped me from meeting crush girl. She will feel like she won over crush.
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    (Original post by MancBoy)
    The most likely reason is for the attention. Most girls would do anything for some male atrention and self validation.

    This is why you see women who are married going out clubbing mainly to boost their egos and to show they still 'have it'.

    The other reason is to monkey branch I.e keeping other guys as a backup just in case anything goes wrong.
    Agreed. What to do in this case? The girl with a bf (she didn't tell me about this - I found out from someone else) puts her feet on my crotch, constantly interrupts me speaking to hot girls at halls, and seems adamant for a girl on her course and me not to meet. She continually tries to put her legs on my thighs or something whilst sitting down and seeking attention from me.


    (Original post by Spock's Socks)
    Yeah I imagine one of the biggest reasons some taken girls lead on other guys is because they are bored of their current relationship. There's likely to be lots of other reasons too.
    What do I do about girl #2/3 in my OP?

    (Original post by Jebedee)
    2 reasons, she wants attention and she's sizing up other men as a replacement for her current boyfriend without having to leave him first and risk being single for any amount of time. But if you have any sense you'll either just persue her long enough to have sex and leave, or just leave her alone altogether due to how she's treating her current boyfriend.

    Monkeys and branches.
    What to do? In my case, the girl has put her feet right on my crotch 3 times now. I now have started to fap off to the thought of her. She seems adamant to block me meeting a hot girl on her course. All of this whilst she already has a bf. Wth?

    (Original post by flatmatetrouble)
    Let me rephrase this for you. A girl from another course, who is really friendly with a lot of people, was friendly towards you. Later you found out she has a boyfriend.

    Let me ask you a more appropriate quesiton, why do you think that girls being friendly and nice is them leading you on?

    :rolleyes:
    Please see my OP. Tell me if girl #2 who is rubbing her feet on me and stopping me from meeting a crush on her own course who invited her to her birthday, is 'being nice and friendly'.
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    (Original post by Eboracum)
    Alright son. Thanks for the update. Keep me posted on things, but just a few thoughts below. You in uni by the way, you a first year?

    It is incredibly flirty to do what she is doing. Putting her feet on your crotch and putting her legs on you, I'd take that as a sign that the girl wants sex with me. And as for carrying her to bed. She's absolutely gagging for your penetration. If people don't call that flirty then I don't know what is.
    Appreciate your expert advice bro. Yeah it is very flirty indeed. Your right, it's just she sends mixed signals. In private she hasn't seemed to initiate in this way, it's more in a public place or when others are present (although it is done very very discreetly). I agree she seems to be very kinky and that does excite me. I think it's because I'm not sure I want her to be my first time, so I haven't been responding. Also the fact that she had a bf. But I admit I find her damn hot when she does these things.

    (Original post by Eboracum)
    She's playing mind games with you. It's quite selfish really. She doesn't want to be in her relationship, that's clear. That might be because she isn't satisfied emotionally, romantically or sexually. Or it might be because she prefers you. So she doesn't want in to her relationship, but she isn't strong enough to take the leap of faith to leave it. She's in a comfort zone with her man and doesn't want to leave it. But she can't bare the thought of you having sex with anyone else. I was led on in first year with a girl. She'd be emailing and texting everyday, the night I went round to hers for what I thought was banging, she told me she had a BF. It's the same situation man.
    Selfish indeed. These mind games are driving me mad! About the thought of me being with someone else:

    We had a pyjama halloween party at halls (I don't know who came up with that idea, but hey). She seemed very particular in reminding me about it the day before. We were sat at a corner of the room toward the middle of the night (out of sight as it was darker there). Somehow the conversation had led to how some of the girls looked really hot and also very very briefly on crush girl. Before I could elaborate on how I think she is attractive, she started to say how some girls are flirty with loads of guys?? Again, during this she put her feet on my crotch discreetly and she asked to borrow my phone to take a picture. She seemed not to realise that she was literally making me harder through my pyjamas! At this point, several things happened at once. I thought I heard my phone buzz with a message. I was expecting one from another girl I met who I was hoping to go to an afterparty to. But she said it was nothing, and with the noise I couldn't tell. Though I noticed her face suddenly looked panicky for a moment. I thought it was because of crush girl. She changed the subject randomly asking me whether I liked her costume. I was honest (I mean she looked very good). Before I could ask again about crush girl, she also said she was so thankful for me saving her the other day. At the same time she had literally pushed my d up against my stomach almost. But she acted like she wasn't trying to do anything. She literally talked normally, normal facial expression. I didn't know what to do, I was really enjoying this, but didn't want to say anything out loud. My phone definitely buzzed a second time, but I was lost in bliss. Then someone suddenly called her and came up and whisked her away. I was partly grateful and nervous. She just randomly joined the dancing going on and had left my phone on the table and I picked it up. I couldn't stand up for ages lol, but I noticed in that time that there were no new messages on my phone. I thought okay must have been an app or something buzzing.

    About an hour later, I texted the other girl as it was getting late and I didn't want to miss my opening, and she texted back saying she texted me ages ago that they were heading to a club...right around the point I was with footjob friend. I still went, but I had missed the crowd going there, and a chance to flirt with her on the journey and precious dance time. I couldn't understand, but now I wonder whether footjob girl deleted my message?

    (Original post by Eboracum)
    Obviously you'd love for the feet on crotch to be a more regular thing, possibly in private with less clothes on? So. You basically have to take a gulp of confidence and just ask her straight. If she won't enter a relationship with you or leave her BF you need to start chasing other women, flirting with them, dates etc, make her jealous...but only with women you like, not for the sake of it (remember that hot girl previously) think of it like the Lions in the jungle. If you don't ask the question, the games continue...unless of course, you like that? As I said last week, she's the Mourinho of the female world playing mind games.
    Yes I would love the feet thing, if she wants to do it and is clear that when she is doing it, she wants to do it. Also in private hehe. I find her a little kinky, which is exciting, but I'm not a fan of Mourinho girl games lol. Thing is I'm not really thinking about her as a gf! Maybe a bang, you're right. But I wonder, now whether she is really trying to stop me being with someone else and keep me as a backup in a fetish control way.

    (Original post by Eboracum)
    Women are complicated animals. I'm chatting to what I believe could be the girl of my dreams online...although she hasn't messaged back yet so I'm currently on edge. We can do this man. Good luck.
    Agreed! Complex, but can be understood eventually! We can do this!!! Advice bro? Need an expert!
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    Simply put they might just be trying to be friendly & you misinterpret it as something more.
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    (Original post by Multitalented me)
    Simply put they might just be trying to be friendly & you misinterpret it as something more.
    In general yes, but what do you make of girl 2/3 in my OP?

    In summary: What to do in this case? The girl with a bf (she didn't tell me about this - I found out from someone else) puts her feet on my crotch, constantly interrupts me speaking to hot girls at halls, and seems adamant for a girl on her course and me not to meet. She continually tries to put her legs on my thighs or something whilst sitting down and seeking attention from me.

    See OP for extra details.
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    (Original post by pshah2)
    In general yes, but what do you make of girl 2/3 in my OP?

    In summary: What to do in this case? The girl with a bf (she didn't tell me about this - I found out from someone else) puts her feet on my crotch, constantly interrupts me speaking to hot girls at halls, and seems adamant for a girl on her course and me not to meet. She continually tries to put her legs on my thighs or something whilst sitting down and seeking attention from me.

    See OP for extra details.
    Why don't you just confront her?

    Tell her to do one if need be. It sounds like she playing you, you should take control of the situation
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    (Original post by pshah2)
    In general yes, but what do you make of girl 2/3 in my OP?

    In summary: What to do in this case? The girl with a bf (she didn't tell me about this - I found out from someone else) puts her feet on my crotch, constantly interrupts me speaking to hot girls at halls, and seems adamant for a girl on her course and me not to meet. She continually tries to put her legs on my thighs or something whilst sitting down and seeking attention from me.

    See OP for extra details.
    Just ask them straight out that if she has feelings for you, or tell her bf that they're coming on to you although that's more risky.
 
 
 
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