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    I'd love to have an open relationship. While I'm at it I'm going to go round to my mates, play Fifa, throw some banter about and head to Nando's after.
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    (Original post by Joel21)
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    Just seems weird tbh
    I see.
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    (Original post by geoking)
    Please can you explain how it takes 3 people to complete you when most people are perfectly happy with just one. Sounds more like you're uncertain as to what you want and instead of taking the time to discover yourself, you're throwing yourself into a ridiculous situation.
    First of all, I love both genders and I can't just be with one gender for the rest of my life.

    Secondly, the two gfs like different things. One of them works as a doctor and brings bread on the table. The other one loves adventure and camping dates are very romantic.

    It's better than on-off serial monogamy. That was a disaster and being poly actually gave me peace of mind, knowing the higher divorce rates of today. I don't want to be a guy who leaves his wife for someone better and repeat the process until I'm old and wrinkly.
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    That's such a sad attitude to have SecretDuck, when you love someone so much you don't feel the need to leave them for someone better, trust me i've been with my gf 8 years and never fallen for another girl because they're not her, that's real love and one day i'll marry her and father her children.
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    (Original post by SecretDuck)
    First of all, I love both genders and I can't just be with one gender for the rest of my life.

    Secondly, the two gfs like different things. One of them works as a doctor and brings bread on the table. The other one loves adventure and camping dates are very romantic.

    It's better than on-off serial monogamy. That was a disaster and being poly actually gave me peace of mind, knowing the higher divorce rates of today. I don't want to be a guy who leaves his wife for someone better and repeat the process until I'm old and wrinkly.
    No, you don't love both genders, you like both genders, for the sake of this argument lets not confuse what we mean by love.

    So one of your gf's keeps you financially happy, the other one you enjoy being around. ****ing hell, the fact that one is a doctor and is little more than financing someone for sex is terrifying.

    The problem here is that you clearly can't deal with being on your own, and won't wait until you find the right person that ticks all the boxes. How on earth does being poly help ease your mind over divorce rates? Surely it means your relationship is more expendable than others because none of the people involved like the other person enough to be truly loyal :facepalm:

    You're going to have a hell of a shock one day when you wake up and neither one are around. You also clearly have no idea what love is. You really think enough women would want you that you'd be able to constantly upgrade? Wow, I think you need to come back down to earth...
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    (Original post by geoking)
    No, you don't love both genders, you like both genders, for the sake of this argument lets not confuse what we mean by love.

    So one of your gf's keeps you financially happy, the other one you enjoy being around. ****ing hell, the fact that one is a doctor and is little more than financing someone for sex is terrifying.

    The problem here is that you clearly can't deal with being on your own, and won't wait until you find the right person that ticks all the boxes. How on earth does being poly help ease your mind over divorce rates? Surely it means your relationship is more expendable than others because none of the people involved like the other person enough to be truly loyal :facepalm:

    You're going to have a hell of a shock one day when you wake up and neither one are around. You also clearly have no idea what love is. You really think enough women would want you that you'd be able to constantly upgrade? Wow, I think you need to come back down to earth...
    The trouble is that there's no one in this earth who has a penis, vagina, breasts, is attractive to me, actually wants me, is a good mother and can have children. Being poly eases the going outside of the relationship bit. I'm selfish like that.

    I know what I want and I have all my needs fulfilled. That will only change if I find the ideal bi-gendered person who can have children. Sounds scary? That's because even the thought of that person makes me shudder, though she would fulfill my needs.

    Love, to me, is staying commited in the relationship, don't date anyone without the full approval of everyone involved and not leaving the relationship when someone better comes along. Under monogamy, my gf and I both suffered from this "someone better" problem. We both even fell for the same girl.

    Look, I'm not going to convince you that my alternative lifestyle makes sense. Let's just agree to disagree
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    (Original post by SecretDuck)
    The trouble is that there's no one in this earth who has a penis, vagina, breasts, is attractive to me, actually wants me, is a good mother and can have children. Being poly eases the going outside of the relationship bit. I'm selfish like that.

    I know what I want and I have all my needs fulfilled. That will only change if I find the ideal bi-gendered person who can have children. Sounds scary? That's because even the thought of that person makes me shudder, though she would fulfill my needs.

    Love, to me, is staying commited in the relationship, don't date anyone without the full approval of everyone involved and not leaving the relationship when someone better comes along. Under monogamy, my gf and I both suffered from this "someone better" problem. We both even fell for the same girl.

    Look, I'm not going to convince you that my alternative lifestyle makes sense. Let's just agree to disagree
    Other than a penis, I'm quite sure that out of billions of women at least one will tick that box...Again, sounds like you just can't cope with being on your own.

    So your ideal woman makes you shudder? Wow, I think you should talk to a professional because that's not a normal reaction to have...

    How can you be committed if you are ****ing another person?! If you suffered from the "someone better" problem how about you be single until that person comes along? This isn't rocket science but you act like without a relationship you couldn't exist...

    You alternative lifestyle sounds like a byproduct of a lot of emotional problems. As a word of warning, if you don't sort that **** out sooner rather than later, it will probably destroy your life.
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    (Original post by BunnyMisery246)
    I don't want him being with other people, and i'm not staying single and waiting for him to come back when he's decided he wants to settle down either. It's really depressing me because i'm satisfied with him and have no interest in any form of open relationship or bringing others in to our love life, it actually makes no sense to me why someone would want this? Is it a guy thing or something?

    Anon because I don't want people I know to recognise me. Speaking from personal experience, I'd back right away from this guy. I was in an open relationship and it ended badly. I would be more understanding if you had just starting dating him but after two years, nope. Don't do it OP, especially if the thought of it is making you miserable. You can do better
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    (Original post by geoking)
    Other than a penis, I'm quite sure that out of billions of women at least one will tick that box...Again, sounds like you just can't cope with being on your own.

    So your ideal woman makes you shudder? Wow, I think you should talk to a professional because that's not a normal reaction to have...

    How can you be committed if you are ****ing another person?! If you suffered from the "someone better" problem how about you be single until that person comes along? This isn't rocket science but you act like without a relationship you couldn't exist...

    You alternative lifestyle sounds like a byproduct of a lot of emotional problems. As a word of warning, if you don't sort that **** out sooner rather than later, it will probably destroy your life.
    Well, I'm sorry but thinking of a bi-gendered woman with man and woman parts...makes me shudder.

    Commitment in polyamory is making a life together, not sexual exclusivity.

    Serial monogamy virtually almost destroyed my life. I jumped from person to person, expecting that they would fully complete me. It's been 8 years and no one person has completed me. I had an option - either accept that I'm not going to find "the one" or forever search for "the one" while boning half the people in London. So you're saying that I should be all alone because I haven't found the one? :facepalm:

    And that a happy and ongoing relationship (2 and a half years, and counting) should be broken off? :facepalm: :facepalm:

    I'm sorry, but you really do not know anything about polyamory so I'm not going to waste my fingers in trying to convince you otherwise. This is my last reply to you on this topic.
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    I could never have one, tbh. I'm too jealous and paranoid a person to share any potential lover with anyone else
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    I could never have one, tbh. I'm too jealous and paranoid a person to share any potential lover with anyone else <img src="images/smilies/tongue.png" border="0" alt="" title="" smilieid="5" class="inlineimg" />
    Good on you, me too.
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    (Original post by Joel21)
    Good on you, me too.
    Jealous and paranoid....You sound like a healthy individual and yet you judge those who aren't jealous or paranoid.
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    (Original post by SecretDuck)
    Well, I'm sorry but thinking of a bi-gendered woman with man and woman parts...makes me shudder.

    Commitment in polyamory is making a life together, not sexual exclusivity.

    Serial monogamy virtually almost destroyed my life. I jumped from person to person, expecting that they would fully complete me. It's been 8 years and no one person has completed me. I had an option - either accept that I'm not going to find "the one" or forever search for "the one" while boning half the people in London. So you're saying that I should be all alone because I haven't found the one? :facepalm:

    And that a happy and ongoing relationship (2 and a half years, and counting) should be broken off? :facepalm: :facepalm:

    I'm sorry, but you really do not know anything about polyamory so I'm not going to waste my fingers in trying to convince you otherwise. This is my last reply to you on this topic.
    Don't you think that's a problem - that you can't stand the idea of your ideal person? :facepalm:

    Can't you make a life together with a friend though? Physical intimacy is what makes a relationship unique and romantic. If it's not unique, then surely your whole idea of not wanting to upgrade becomes more plausible, not less, as you would be sacrificing less when you upgrade in comparison to a normal relationship?

    No. You almost destroyed your life. Don't try to shift the blame to an inactive concept. The problem with that was YOUR expectations and YOUR concept with what a monogamous relationship consisted of - your idea was quite clearly emotionally immature. Congratulations, it takes time to find the right person. Your relationship attitude reeks of emotional distress - it looks like you can't handle being on your own (hence hopping from one person to another) and so have desperately landed in a poly relationship.

    Don't you think it's better to be alone than to be with the wrong person? But that means you have to handle being alone, and from what you've said, you are not emotionally stable enough to not be in a relationship.

    It's clear that your relationship is a huge mess and you have a lot of emotional issues that I would seriously consider seeking professional help for. You won't though. But hey, end of the day I will get to say "told you so", I guarantee it
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    (Original post by Joel21)
    Wow this man just hit the nail on the head! You see how these poly types gradually expose themselves the more they post, theres always some deep underlying issue or trauma that causes them to behave this way. It's not normal behaviour, I know of no emotionally stable people in poly relationships. Usually they are people with psychological issues, social outcasts who want to be different and go againt social norms or bi/pan types who are very confused. Well done cracking the case geoking.
    Cheers If you want a laugh read his latest response. He admits he can't handle not being in a relationship and concludes that he is in a poly relationship because he has given up on trying to find the right person. It's quite sad really. Where do these people thing they are going to end up? I don't even know these people yet from a few messages it's clear they have serious emotional issues. Do they think society will overlook this? That friends and family will accept their damaging behaviour? That colleagues won't shun them, and that's if they pass the interview because let's be honest, this sort of attitude will leak into everyday life. These people are going to get a harsh wake up call one day, and will end up either hitting the bottle, bleach or going full on with the God Squad...It ain't gonna be a pretty show, but hey, can't say they weren't warned :top:
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    (Original post by BunnyMisery246)
    So my boyfriend of two years asked me earlier what my thoughts on open relationships are, I told him I wouldn't want one now he's trying to convince me to have one, he thinks it will add more excitement to our realationship. What are your views on open relationships? If your partner asked you for one would you agree to it? I'm very confused right now and not sure what to do.
    Bunny if you have to stop and ask a forum, you know it's a bad idea. Be strong and ditch the loser, maintain your integrity and self respect and don't do something you would regret. You teach people how to treat you - if you lie down and welcome someone to walk over you, unless they are a parent, they are likely to do so.
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    PS I'm married.
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    No way

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    He wants to capitalise on the competition, y' get me?

    I wouldn't.
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    Hell no, me only or move on, pretty simple.
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    It seems from the OP that the bf simply wants to **** someone else and doesn't know what he wants in life.

    But the amount of ignorance in terms of polyamory is just staggering. It seems that you (geoking and Joel) allow your prejudice of anything non-monogamous to make you type all those tirades, and it looks like that your knowledge of polyamory relationships is 0. You (geoking) even contradict yourself countless times and repeat your arguments.

    Like saying a good ongoing relationship is mentally unstable. :toofunny:

    The OP didn't want all those tirades. She just wanted to ask a simple question.


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