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Got a boyfriend and I'm having a sleepover (with my guy friend) Watch

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    You're in a tricky situation and I don't really know what to suggest. Personally, I think you should be allowed to have your guy friend for a sleep over because he should be able to trust you but would you be ok with it if it was him having a girl friend round? Each relationship is individual.

    But to save your relationship it sounds like your guy friend can't come round for a sleep over. If you let him the relationship between you and your boyfriend may not last.

    Perhaps in future you should have asked him if it was ok and let him make the decision for you. The fact you asked would show trust and open ness.

    Best of luck
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    He's sleeping over because he lives at the other end of the country and no-one else can host him, and he's sleeping downstairs, right OP? :borat: Else if; delete
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    More information -

    i've known him for a year ever since he added me on facebook

    this woukd be first time meeting him and he suggested to stay round since i live 2 hours away.

    i only see him as a friend i wouldnt consider him a bf type and i told him
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    My best mates girlfriend was stuck for a taxi from a night out on Saturday and one of the other lads asked if she wanted to come to his. It's fair to say my best mate and our other mate aren't 'mates' anymore.
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    (Original post by icup12)
    More information -

    i've known him for a year ever since he added me on facebook

    this woukd be first time meeting him and he suggested to stay round since i live 2 hours away.

    i only see him as a friend i wouldnt consider him a bf type and i told him
    One word: Naive
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    Your not 12 anymore, sleepovers are not needed at age 19!
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    (Original post by icup12)
    More information -

    i've known him for a year ever since he added me on facebook

    this woukd be first time meeting him and he suggested to stay round since i live 2 hours away.

    i only see him as a friend i wouldnt consider him a bf type and i told him

    In general, I don't think it should be a problem for a boy to sleep over!

    I must say though, that has just set about a thousand alarm bells ringing. Why did he add you on Facebook? I know you've told him you don't see him like that, but you have to be careful, not everyone is going to be honest or genuine It's especially weird that you've not even met him before and he is the one who suggested staying over - what happens if he's different in person and you don't feel comfortable around him? Are you sure it wouldn't be better if the first time at least you met up somewhere neutral and got to know each other in person?
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    (Original post by icup12)
    More information -

    i've known him for a year ever since he added me on facebook

    this woukd be first time meeting him and he suggested to stay round since i live 2 hours away.

    i only see him as a friend i wouldnt consider him a bf type and i told him

    I have said multiple times this is fine.

    However you've never met him? This is simply just dangerous.
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    My ex-bf stayed at his female friends house. Firstly, and I know I could have been overreacting, I was worrying all night. Secondly, he is an ex because he opted to cheat with her months later so it's not okay if the partner isn't comfortable
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    I don't think you're of a mature enough mind to be in a relationship right now...

    ..and coming from me, that's pretty scalding.
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    (Original post by icup12)
    More information -

    i've known him for a year ever since he added me on facebook

    this woukd be first time meeting him and he suggested to stay round since i live 2 hours away.

    i only see him as a friend i wouldnt consider him a bf type and i told him
    Now I don't know if just trolling. If not then this is ridiculous, do you really blame your bf for kicking off? I noticed that it's only girls saying that this is fine even before they found out you don't know this guy and never met him. Would you girls really mind if your bf had a girl sleeping over for the whole night not knowing anything about her or her intentions? I don't think so
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    (Original post by icup12)
    More information -

    i've known him for a year ever since he added me on facebook

    this woukd be first time meeting him and he suggested to stay round since i live 2 hours away.

    i only see him as a friend i wouldnt consider him a bf type and i told him
    I know I wouldn't put some dude who I've only known a year and never actually met, before my own boyfriend. Even if it were a proper, well established friendship (which this isn't), I'd still respect my boyfriend enough to understand his point of view and attempt to find ways to help him feel comfortable like maybe introducing them to each other for starters. Relationships are about compromise and understanding after all.
    • #3
    #3

    A few years ago I might have said it's fine but now I think it's naive. Most men want one thing - you'll just be unintentionally leading him on IF he's after that one thing. It's a shame than men and women can't just be friends but in the real world 'sleepovers' just aren't innocent little get togethers once you're past a certain age range. I think the problem here is that your boyfriend is obviously aware of this and more grounded in reality - whereas you seem quite naive - I actually don't think it's a flaw or whatever, I think it would be nice if everyone was like you and was willing to have innocent friendships but you and your boyfriend obviously see the world very differently. To be honest I see it how your boyfriend sees it (and I'm female by the way).
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    Let me get this straight. You're going to sleep in the same room with a guy you've never met before...?

    I can understand why the boyfriend's ****ting bricks. At least become the dude's friend by doing other activities before you invite him round for Orange Squash and cuddles.
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    (Original post by icup12)
    More information -

    i've known him for a year ever since he added me on facebook

    this woukd be first time meeting him and he suggested to stay round since i live 2 hours away.

    i only see him as a friend i wouldnt consider him a bf type and i told him
    As others have said, either trolling or a very stupid and dangerous thing to do.
    A girl going to sleep over at a guy's house who shes never met before that could be anyone cause people can set up fake Facebook accounts.
    Even with a girlfriend I trusted 100% I wouldn't let this happen because there's a chance she wouldn't be able to stop anything happening..

    If you're not trolling and haven't met up yet please don't go..
    • #4
    #4

    This is a tricky situation. As you want to be able to se your friend, but why not just meet up beforehand and he can stay in a hotel? You have to respect your boyfriends boundries. How would you feel if your boyfriend told you that he was having a girl over that he hadn't met before? Alarm bells would be ringing, talk to him about it. Maybe suggest that he can come too to meet the guy, so Atleast he can feel as if he can see him beforehand. However I do agree with the people who are concerned that you haven't met him before.
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    All I gotta say is...
    Foolishness.
    • #4
    #4

    Does your " friend" not see this as a problem for your boyfriend? From one guy to another, I wouldn't meet with a girl and stay over if she had a bf. Just sayin..
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    I can't believe how narrow-minded and possessive the responses in this thread are. There's nothing wrong with having a sleep over with a friend who happens to have male genitalia when you're in a relationship. I can only surmise that the outrage at the OP is coming from people who have neither had a gf let alone had sexual intercourse and clingy/desperate people and religious nuts.
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    (Original post by Mommie Dearest)
    I can't believe how narrow-minded and possessive the responses in this thread are. There's nothing wrong with having a sleep over with a friend who happens to have male genitalia when you're in a relationship. I can only surmise that the outrage at the OP is coming from people who have neither had a gf let alone had sexual intercourse and clingy/desperate people and religious nuts.
    It depends on a lot of contextual factors. I would see no issue with my girlfriend staying over at the place of a male friend she'd known for ages, perhaps because it would be a major hassle to get home. Staying over purely because you want to have a sleepover is probably a different thing, though, especially with a guy she's never met before.

    I'm all for trust in a relationship, to the extent that I'm probably more trusting than most guys, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't be uncomfortable about certain things.
 
 
 
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