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What is the 'nack' to getting a bf? watch

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    (Original post by DancinBallerina)
    If said men still spoke to me, I would! Apart from one, I don't talk to any of the guys anymore purely because I don't want to cause drama or appear like I am trying to rekindle things, which is obv. not the case.

    I'm very cautious of how I behave around a guy and I am also wary of what I say, as I know guys pick up on things that could easily go against you, i.e What are you looking for.

    Guys don't get to know me long enough to assume I am hard work / set in my ways, so that can't be a reasoning for!

    I do think my social circles is crap, esp now as all friends are getting settled. But I work in an establishment whereby there is opportunity to network. But it's not easy when the majority of people are a lot older, not many people of my age, but it could potentially be a gate keeping way :dontknow: Dates I've been asked on, I've always gone to. I'm not picky in the sense of ''He's too short, can't go on a date with him'', im not like that. I am open to a lot of things as you never know what could happen.
    How are you with intimacy? how open are you? does it take you a long time to trust/ depend on someone?
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    (Original post by Cremated_Spatula)
    :rofl: No, you don't need to dress like that.
    LoL Well certainly would get heads turning . . perhaps though not for the right reason! lol But I take great care in how I dress especially on dates. Golden rule I've been taught; ever have tits and legs out on a date, it's either one or the other, and neither should be extreme, ie mini skirt, very low cut top. For example, I wore a nice knitted jumper dress on a date recently, my boobs were covered, it has long sleeves, but the dress hem finished at my knees, and I had a pair of black heels on. That imo is suitable / date appropriate.
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    (Original post by malware)
    get in there nicely, laddy
    OI :rofl:
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    (Original post by Cremated_Spatula)
    How are you with intimacy? how open are you? does it take you a long time to trust/ depend on someone?
    HA .. I love sex! I usually however go with the guys' lead, I don't pounce, as that's not me! However I don't do EVERYTHING in one go . . I like to hold something back, for both us to want more. I don't purposely tease because that's cruel. But you know I give enough to be wanting more. I have in the past trusted too easily and had my fingers burnt, but guy I was sort of seeing last year, he asked, and I said no because I got spooked and wasn't mentally ready for it, and I wanted to build up the trust first properly.
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    (Original post by cherryred90s)

    :hugs:

    I just need some love. :cry2:
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    Sorry if someone has already suggested this (I haven't been able to read the whole page).

    Do you have any close friends that you could talk to about how you are feeling. People who know you and have seen you in social situations. If so it might be worth asking them to honestly tell you if they have noticed anything that they think might be causing problems. Make it clear that you won't be offended you just want to know.

    For what it is worth I have also just turned 30 and I have a good number of friends (male and female) who are single and many have never really had a significant relationship so you are by no means alone
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    Nah but you can dress well. Whilst part of me is philosophical and its a numbers game you do need to do what you can to give it the best chance.


    Are you meeting enough people?
    Are you meeting the right sorts?
    Are you clear what you want and what you ahve to offer?
    How is your flirting technique?

    My tip is know what you wnat but make sure you are open minded, but then dont waste time on what you know to be dead ends.


    Do you really think you are making enough effort?

    Would you ask a guy out on a date/ thats just self confidence.

    Maybe your dating technique just needs a bit of refining. Im no saying its easy, but some people manage it and some people are better than others. In your case youd like to be as good at it as you can... that make sense?

    If you are in London theres loads of fating classes coaching session. I do think you need some objective feedback on your technique. Youra after ctaching a particular type of fish , so you need to know how to do it or at least understand how others have done it.
    If I could rep you again, I would. Fab constructive post. Lots to think about here. I do think it boils down to my social circle, I think that;s partially to do with it.
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    (Original post by DancinBallerina)
    HA .. I love sex! I usually however go with the guys' lead, I don't pounce, as that's not me! However I don't do EVERYTHING in one go . . I like to hold something back, for both us to want more. I don't purposely tease because that's cruel. But you know I give enough to be wanting more. I have in the past trusted too easily and had my fingers burnt, but guy I was sort of seeing last year, he asked, and I said no because I got spooked and wasn't mentally ready for it, and I wanted to build up the trust first properly.
    Sounds great, but sex is not necessarily intimate. I meant do you have the habit of being very aloof /solitary?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I think if anything I'm 'too nice' I get told I'm a 'lovely person' all the time. Guys don't find it exciting and get bored of me and trample on me. I have a tendency to 'mother' people. Think I need to stop being a walkover and become a hardened b***h then I might finally have some luck.
    I can actually relate to that. You first gotta play hard to get so they want you more, that ain't happening if you come off as 'easy'.
    Good luck
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    (Original post by randdom)
    Sorry if someone has already suggested this (I haven't been able to read the whole page).

    Do you have any close friends that you could talk to about how you are feeling. People who know you and have seen you in social situations. If so it might be worth asking them to honestly tell you if they have noticed anything that they think might be causing problems. Make it clear that you won't be offended you just want to know.

    For what it is worth I have also just turned 30 and I have a good number of friends (male and female) who are single and many have never really had a significant relationship so you are by no means alone
    Not suggested, but good idea - thank you.

    I know it's not just me out there who is still single at almost 30. But after a while it starts to get to get to you and make you think ''Where am I going wrong?''. But I will definitely take on board your opinions and ask a close friend
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    (Original post by malware)
    Maybe this is why you're single and 30 on TSR,asking teenagers for advice, and flirting with random 20 year old posters.

    For the last time, you are welcome kind lady.
    I think this poster has a point OP in that, unless you want to date younger guys, you aren't going to find much useful info here.

    I personally would like to date older guys in their late 20s or early 30s, so to be honest most info on TSR isn't going to help as it's from the perspective of teens and early 20s.
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    (Original post by Cremated_Spatula)
    Sounds great, but sex is not necessarily intimate. I meant do you have the habit of being very aloof /solitary?
    Nope, I'm not aloof @ all. I went on a date recently, I heard nothing for a few days. So I sent a tongue in cheek text saying hi, just to put that thought there that I am still here / about. I have seen him a few times, and I've always said hi and etc. So :dontknow:
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    (Original post by ivy.98)
    I can actually relate to that. You first gotta play hard to get so they want you more, that ain't happening if you come off as 'easy'.
    Good luck
    Thanks I don't feel comfortable doing this but they say the definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over and expect different results, so no more nice girl :devil3:at least not until they've earned it
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I think this poster has a point OP in that, unless you want to date younger guys, you aren't going to find much useful info here.

    I personally would like to date older guys in their late 20s or early 30s, so to be honest most info on TSR isn't going to help as it's from the perspective of teens and early 20s.
    There are people on this forum who are of a similar age . .that's why I posted it here. :dontknow:
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    Being a man I'm not sure this is of much use but;

    Consider the type of person you are dating. Look for someone slightly older who is settling down and looking for more in a relationship themselves.
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    (Original post by DancinBallerina)
    Nope, I'm not aloof @ all. I went on a date recently, I heard nothing for a few days. So I sent a tongue in cheek text saying hi, just to put that thought there that I am still here / about. I have seen him a few times, and I've always said hi and etc. So :dontknow:
    A few days? :doh:

    Well, you're straightforward, I'd think that's a plus.
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    (Original post by DancinBallerina)
    If I could rep you again, I would. Fab constructive post. Lots to think about here. I do think it boils down to my social circle, I think that;s partially to do with it.

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/sex...ate-again.html

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/sex...-by-a-man.html
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    (Original post by Puddles the Monkey)
    DancinBallerina


    It's so difficult to tell without knowing you or your relationship history. Do you have a close friend that you can trust to give you an unbiased, honest opinion as to why your relationships so far didn't stick?

    I doubt there anything in you as a person that could be putting people off. :hugs: You also don't sound like you've got too high expectations or too many deal breakers.

    Perhaps you don't know how to recognise the qualities you want in a partner in people you meet? So you're dating the same types who aren't in to commitment for whatever reason without realising that's what's going on. Maybe have a sit down and think about the common themes and see if there are any patterns?

    Reading some of your posts, maybe you're not ruthless enough when it comes to dating? I know that sounds super cynical, but by the time people have reached their late 20s/early 30s they're pretty well the people they'll continue to be. So if they're not showing signs of commitment or they're only making booty calls chances are they're not going to change. There's no point in wasting your time.

    Also... did you actually have the DTR chat with any of the guys/fwbs you were seeing? It might be that they just didn't realise you wanted something more and assumed that was how it was gonna be?

    Have you tried online dating sites which aren't Tinder? OkCupid is nice because it has more of a focus on profiles/getting to know people rather than only being based on appearance. Makes for good quality dates if you put the effort in

    This is all just possibilities - it could also just be that you've not met anyone yet :hugs:
    Thank you for this post

    I just need a long hard think, and like you said, start marking up similarities in the guys I've had crap dealings with in the past. Need to be more ruthless, and start eliminating the fo from the pah!

    I've tried dating website, and I don't like them. All of the sites I've been on just never work out, so I have vowed not to go on those again.

    Sorry to sound a bit slow but what does DTR chat mean??
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    (Original post by DancinBallerina)
    My pum pum works pretty well, thanks. Tighter than tight too! (Not a bucket crutch)
    Repped for a 5 star response 👌
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    (Original post by InadequateJusticex)
    Dadbods/rugby guys/cubs you?

    Brunette or fair-haired.

    Light eyes.

    Slim and athletic.

 
 
 
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