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Family is stopping me from having sex before marriage Watch

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    (Original post by lulucoco98)
    That's just a small number of research, it does not account for everyone getting a arranged marriage, everyone is different. I'm not stating opinions, I know the difference between forced marriages and arranged marriages- I'm just saying their artificial and it is clear that families- especially in OPs case play a role in who their children marry and control every aspect of their lives. From sex, tampons to who they want her to marry ( by giving her recommendations) they want to be involved in everything.

    People can lie when research is conducted, it's not solid, scientific proof. You are just trying to make yourself feel better
    So you realise that findings that get published have to go through numerous checks and verifications.... The fact I provided evidence and all you say is they can lie... By that logic any evidence provided can be lies. Grow up.
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    Not all virgins bleed when they have sex and your hymen can be torn in other ways i.e sports. Your family sound so ignorant. There's nothing wrong with being religious but you must be progressive.
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    (Original post by CAPTAINSHAZAM)
    So you realise that findings that get published have to go through numerous checks and verifications.... The fact I provided evidence and all you say is they can lie... By that logic any evidence provided can be lies. Grow up.
    I didn't say they were lies (they could be, people lie, no matter how much "psychological" research has been made - I meant people lie

    I said they were not solid scientific proof. - the research- Absolutely no one knows what goes on between closed doors. So that's why I think it's BS. Carry on making yourself feel better by providing dire evidence.
    • #13
    #13

    If you live away from home at uni then how would your parents be able to stop you doing anything and how would they know?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So just to confirm guys: nothing at all is different down there compared to a virign and non virgin
    Nothing is different at all.

    Even so, would it really matter anyway? It's your choice what you do with your life.

    From what I've read, you want to be able to make your own choice about love and sex and you shouldn't let anybody stop you - not even parents. It's not fair on you that your mother is so controlling.

    If she is manipulating you and pressuring you into marrying and doing something you don't want to do like you have suggested, thats sounds almost like emotional abuse towards you. (emotional abuse is actually quite common. It is not always purposeful so I dont want this to sound like an accusation at all. It isn't at all.) You may want to talk to someone about this as this is not going to be good for your wellbeing - whether you talk to your mum, your friends or even a counsellor online or face-to face.

    You have the right to make your own choices and shouldn't feel pressured to do things because of family.

    I hope this helps and I am sorry if I have made any assumptions here - it is just what I have percieved from the thread.

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    (Original post by lulucoco98)
    I didn't say they were lies (they could be, people lie, no matter how much "psychological" research has been made - I meant people lie

    I said they were not solid scientific proof. - the research- Absolutely no one knows what goes on between closed doors. So that's why I think it's BS. Carry on making yourself feel better by providing dire evidence.
    Not solid proof.... Lmao any research can be said using exact same dumb logic. Dire evidence when I used professional established psychologists as evidence but of course when evidence is provided you call it.lies lol. Signs of a person with weak arguments. You literally contradict yourself if you say the research is lies and no knows what happens behind closed doors, the same can be said for op she could be lying and her parents actually have diff reasons and so does she. What a great reasoning skill to have. Just everything lies...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am in a similar situation to you, my mum wants me to wait until marriage. I am nearly 20 and I believe that this is the right path for me as guys nowadays are d*ckheads who will only sleep with you so that they can have something to talk about to their friends. Also I don't want to get pregnant before i'm ready and abstinence is 100% effective. Celibacy is not easy but in the end it will be worth it.

    Additionally, never use a tampon; have you heard of Toxic Shock Syndrome (a model lost a leg because of it). Moreover, I think tampons are unhygienic.
    gurl we preach the exact same thing xx
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    (Original post by rosemondtan)
    gurl we preach the exact same thing xx
    Then you both might want to re-evaluate what you're 'preaching'.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
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    (Original post by CAPTAINSHAZAM)
    Course you would get lost since your argument is has no basis, no surprise you struggle to do 3 alevels.
    Your argument is rubbish move on. A lot of people don't agree with arranged marriages and will agree with me, there just weird and the whole essence of it is controllig-

    well I have A*A and taking another one in my gap year- and a place at LSE deffered entry for your information so Do one ya weirdo

    Incase you wanted to know more about me I initially got a C in politics with a D in unit 3 and an A- in unit 4 but my D got remarked so I now have a A in politics and A* in my beloved history- STALKER what did u get???? Since we're sharing grades now
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    (Original post by SlavsOut)
    They should be waiting also. Assuming they are at uni aswell, education and physical relationships do not mix. Marital reproduction is absolutely paramount.
    Why do people like you even exist?

    OP- contact/do research into an organisation called "Karma Nirvana"- they will help you if you are being forced into a marriage and need someone to turn to or run away to.

    It is true that the vast majority of men in their early 20s will be after sex so you have to choose carefully, But there is no reason you can't explore your sexuality and have complete freedom when it comes to relationships.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    And my mum says other muslim guys from our culture will call me second hand goods and no one will marry me if I'm not a virgin. these kind of things really depress me because it makes me feel as if i have no worth or power in my life, as if someone is only marrying me to have sex with me. meanwhile the guy can have sex with as many girls as he wants and no one will know
    It's hypocrisy and misogyny plain and simple.

    Another reason to distance yourself from people who advocate these kind of attitudes. They should be the ones who are ashamed not you
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    (Original post by TheMaskedLady)
    Because she is a Muslim and I am a Muslim so I have the same views. And we believe it is impermissible to have sex before marriage. and I just think that if she can't even find any guys in uni why not just go for the guys her mum is finding for her. Just give them a try. Why is op so completely against the idea of meeting them? It's not going to cause any harm. And if she can find a guy in uni to marry then bravo for her. And since she cant even find any guys who are willing to wait until marriage why would you even want to be with them? Why not just trust your mum's decision, who wants the best for you, and go with one of them?

    and no i'm not married ._.
    Cute how insecure people like that ^ tend to be about their belief system.

    So much so that they can't rest in peace if anyone contradicts it, leaves it and finds that the alternatives give their life more meaning.

    You say you're not brainwashed. How so?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't want them to find a martial partner for me. I want to find my own relationship at uni and fall in love by myself, however the guys i have liked in the past would not wait until marriage and sex is such a large part of a relationship that in the end i bet because i will have no other option, I will just end up having to marry someone my parents want me to
    I agree and go ahead with your search for someone but remember if a guy isn't willing to wait then his not worth it.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am in a similar situation to you, my mum wants me to wait until marriage. I am nearly 20 and I believe that this is the right path for me as guys nowadays are d*ckheads who will only sleep with you so that they can have something to talk about to their friends. Also I don't want to get pregnant before i'm ready and abstinence is 100% effective. Celibacy is not easy but in the end it will be worth it.

    Additionally, never use a tampon; have you heard of Toxic Shock Syndrome (a model lost a leg because of it). Moreover, I think tampons are unhygienic.
    Not all guys are d1ckheads, the same way not all girls are hoes that just sleep around with guys just to screw them up in life if they've got their sh1t together.

    (Original post by Ladymusiclover)
    Not all virgins bleed when they have sex and your hymen can be torn in other ways i.e sports. Your family sound so ignorant. There's nothing wrong with being religious but you must be progressive.
    :five:
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    (Original post by Inzamam99)
    I love how all the teenage Muslim girls who have been fed on a diet of propaganda their whole lives are rearing their ugly heads against the OPs.

    Wonder if they'll have the same opinion when they're married to some smelly, bearded, horny Mullah with 2 other wives and an insatiable desire for sex which they of course cannot Islamically refuse.
    One, how would you know if my head was ugly?
    Two, wtf is a Mullah?
    Three, why would anyone marry one?
    Four, who in their right mind marries smelly horny guys in the first place?
    Five, where would he randomly find 2 other women that are willing to marry a married man?
    • #11
    #11

    (Original post by Marzy-Sama)
    One, how would you know if my head was ugly?
    Two, wtf is a Mullah?
    Three, why would anyone marry one?
    Four, who in their right mind marries smelly horny guys in the first place?
    Five, where would he randomly find 2 other women that are willing to marry a married man?
    He's a liberal nationalist Pakistani who probably blames Islam for his countries failures. People like him are a dime a dozen and funnily cliche. It's funny how he calls others brainwashed whilst he himself regurgitates rubbish.

    A Mullah is like an Imam/Shaykh.
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    (Original post by Marzy-Sama)
    One, how would you know if my head was ugly?
    Two, wtf is a Mullah?
    Three, why would anyone marry one?
    Four, who in their right mind marries smelly horny guys in the first place?
    Five, where would he randomly find 2 other women that are willing to marry a married man?
    Who marries smelly, horny Mullahs? Well I imagine women without any choice, women who have been brainwashed and have no social skills when it comes to the opposite sex, women who are literally unable to find their own spouse and let others decide for them.

    Well why wouldn't you marry a guy with two other wives? A man is allowed to have 4 wives in Islam. The actual question should be- why wouldn't you marry an already married man? Are you allowed to discriminate in such a way against married men in your deen?
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    #11

    (Original post by Inzamam99)
    I like how you stay Anonymous. Bit gutless to be honest

    I am really hurt by your comments, just going to fly to the sky on my winged horse and relax there for a bit to calm down.
    I was already anonymous on this thread before I replied to you. But I guess you need to deflect towards meaningless issues because you have no real defence when you realise you're the living embodiment of what you accuse others of being :lol:

    OK?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I was already anonymous on this thread before I replied to you. But I guess you need to deflect towards meaningless issues because you have no real defence when you realise you're the living embodiment of what you accuse others of being :lol:

    OK?
    Well I accept that Nationalism is irrational despite the fact that it's meaningful for a lot of people.

    But you will never accept your beliefs as irrational, never accept your holy book as a man made book written in a certain social, political and economic context.

    What exactly would you say I am the embodiment of?

    I was like you 10 years ago. Even worse. Grew up in poverty, deeply religious and dogmatic. It's OK, I understand the disease you're afflicted with.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    He's a liberal nationalist Pakistani who probably blames Islam for his countries failures. People like him are a dime a dozen and funnily cliche. It's funny how he calls others brainwashed whilst he himself regurgitates rubbish.

    A Mullah is like an Imam/Shaykh.
    Oh and yes in fact I do blame the religious elite for my country's failure.

    It only started going downhill during the reign of Zia ul Haq. That man is the founding father of extremist groups both in Afghanistan and the ones who drive sectarian violence and hatred in modern day Pakistan.

    Fortunately it's very slowly reversing- Raheel Sharif and the army in particular have given your friends a nice, long danda
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I was already anonymous on this thread before I replied to you. But I guess you need to deflect towards meaningless issues because you have no real defence when you realise you're the living embodiment of what you accuse others of being :lol:

    OK?
    Why were you anonymous in the first place
 
 
 
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