Boyfriend doesn't like condoms. Watch

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FyreFight
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#161
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#161
(Original post by Titch89)
What if the pill fails? Or the female forgets to take it?
What if the condom splits or the guy puts it on wrong? The fact is that the pill is fine on its own as a birth control.
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brightxburns
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#162
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(Original post by FyreFight)
What if the condom splits or the guy puts it on wrong?
That's why it makes more sense to use BOTH methods, no? That way, if one fails, the other method should work.
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Shwill
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#163
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[QUOTE=Vesta]oh, she's on the pill. that's alright then...as long as there's a 95% chance she won't get pregnantQUOTE]

This is the source of the confusion. The pill has a FAR greater effectiveness than 95%. It is closer to 99.6% which when factoring in statistical error, means that it is pretty much 100% effective.

The pill does not fail if taken correctly.

The sti issue is different, but let's at least set asside one myth that seems to be flung around here.
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Rachy_louise
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#164
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#164
Simple - no glove, no love. Put a sex ban on him til he at least tries a condom!
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McJewwy
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#165
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#165
(Original post by Rokit)
10 mths??? That is not a long term relationship. Give me 5 years and then we are talking long term. If it was long term as you put it, they would be comfortable with each other and a decision such as wearing a condom would not be causing a 100+ reply thread.

There is a problem with the guy not wanting to wear a condom. It means that he would have not worn condoms with previous sex partners treating the issue like he did with his current girlfriend which is a very dangerous situation to be in.
Everything you just wrote was complete crap and possibly only 2% made sense...

Firstly, 10 months IS long term. Short term relationships are like one to two months MAX and not very serious. You don't have to have been with somebody for very long to feel comfortable with them and if you don't... should you really be having sex with them at all?

He did wear condoms with previous girlfriends, I'm going to take a wild stab in the dark and say that they will have had more of a spine than the OP. He had several unprotected one night stands, she recently discovered, before they got together... he's an idiot for putting her health at risk but... it's old news and she seems not to be dwelling on it (though, to me, it's the biggest issue in this ridiculous debate).

Having an STI check now is pretty pointless as the OP had one and was clean and she'd have caught one from him by now.
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FyreFight
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(Original post by brightxburns)
That's why it makes more sense to use BOTH methods, no? That way, if one fails, the other method should work.
It only makes sense to use both methods if the only thing you're trying to do when having sex is not conceive... which completely defeats the point of having sex in the first place. Realistically, the point of having sex is because it feels good, and the condom stops it from feeling good for the guy. If it's possible to reduce the chances of conceiving to the point that they're practically nil while keeping it fun for both people, then that's obviously the best thing to do.
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Titch89
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#167
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#167
(Original post by brightxburns)
That's why it makes more sense to use BOTH methods, no? That way, if one fails, the other method should work.
My thoughts exactly.
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Shwill
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#168
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(Original post by _:_Sel_:_By_:_Date_:_16_:_)
How is it better?! The condom is THE ONLY method of birth control that protects against STIs as well as pregnancy. And the girl can put the condom on for you, should you so wish.

To the OP, your boyf sounds like a complete **** and as such should be dumped immediately. If he loved you, he'd give having an STI test a go (Even though they are icky, it's far more important to be clean and safe than to never be quite sure.)
Contraception means the prevention of pregnancy. For that purpose it is by far the best method.

For STIs that is a different issue. If they are both tested, and trust each other, then that is not an issue.
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shona
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#169
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(Original post by FyreFight)
when the guy wants to enjoy the actual act of it then he's being completely selfish and only thinking about himself?
Well, yes. :rolleyes: Explain to me how he's thinking about his partner when his partner has made it clear that she does not enjoy sex without a condom.

(Original post by FyreFight)
So double-standards are fine as long as the girl benefits?
To be honest, I would suggest that both benefit. Both have a higher chance of avoiding pregnancy, and the man enjoys sex more, knowing that the girl is more comfortable having sex, and perhaps more willing to experiment, because she's not constantly worrying.

If a man can't hold his erection when he puts a condom on, then I would suggest that is a problem that needs to be sorted, rather than ignored simply by avoiding the use of condoms.

(Original post by FyreFight)
The clean-up is part and parcel of having sex.
Well, as the OP pointed out, when a couple have sex without a condom, the man's semen sticks to the walls of the woman's vagina and lingers there for an awfully long time. It's not always practical to leap into the shower afterwards. I would suggest that the "clean-up" as you put it, is a lot more straightforward for the man. And the woman's "clean-up" can be made easier and more pleasant by the man wearing a condom.
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brightxburns
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#170
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(Original post by FyreFight)
It only makes sense to use both methods if the only thing you're trying to do when having sex is not conceive... which completely defeats the point of having sex in the first place. Realistically, the point of having sex is because it feels good, and the condom stops it from feeling good for the guy. If it's possible to reduce the chances of conceiving to the point that they're practically nil while keeping it fun for both people, then that's obviously the best thing to do.
That's ridiculous. Some couples ALWAYS use condoms, and they don't have any issues. It's really selfish of the man to place his own physical pleasure above her safety, and the risk of conception.

Honestly, unless they are actually planning on having a child, I see no reason why they shouldn't use condoms. It's safer, and far less traumatic than an abortion/termination/unwanted pregnancy.
But of course, the GUY wouldn't have to deal with a termination, would he? He'd just give her the OK and she'd toddle off to the abortion clinic. Easy peasy.
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eDDeboo
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#171
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#171
Condoms are more mess for the bloke.
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Shwill
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#172
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(Original post by Titch89)
My thoughts exactly.
Because as the poster just above put it, proper use of the pill doesn't fail. But use of the condom seriously detracts from the experience. So there is no point to using both, if the concern is strictly conception related.
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Shwill
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#173
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(Original post by brightxburns)
That's ridiculous. Some couples ALWAYS use condoms, and they don't have any issues. It's really selfish of the man to place his own physical pleasure above her safety, and the risk of conception.

Honestly, unless they are actually planning on having a child, I see no reason why they shouldn't use condoms. It's safer, and far less traumatic than an abortion/termination/unwanted pregnancy.
But of course, the GUY wouldn't have to deal with a termination, would he? He'd just give her the OK and she'd toddle off to the abortion clinic. Easy peasy.
Statistically, there is not benefit to using both, above and beyond using just the pill.

There is a significant difference in the quality of the sex, however, with the use of a condom.

If the only concern is unwanted conception, correct use of the pill is by far the best method.
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Titch89
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(Original post by Shwill)
Because as the poster just above put it, proper use of the pill doesn't fail. But use of the condom seriously detracts from the experience. So there is no point to using both, if the concern is strictly conception related.
What about if the girl throws up her pill or something? Surely it's sensible to use both?
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FyreFight
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(Original post by shona)
Well, yes. :rolleyes: Explain to me how he's thinking about his partner when his partner has made it clear that she does not enjoy sex without a condom.
Only if you explain to me how she's thing about him if she insists on him wearing a condom when he's said that he doesn't enjoy sex with a condom. And to be honest, her argument of not liking to clean up is weak - it's what happens when you have sex. Or is the guy being inconsiderate for producing *** now?


To be honest, I would suggest that both benefit. Both have a higher chance of avoiding pregnancy, and the man enjoys sex more, knowing that the girl is more comfortable having sex, and perhaps more willing to experiment, because she's not constantly worrying.
How exactly is the guy going to benefit from sex if he can't even feel it? Oh right, because he's safe in the knowledge that the girl is enjoying it. I'm sure that the OP's boyfriend will have great fun trying to orgasm through generosity alone.

Well, as the OP pointed out, when a couple have sex without a condom, the man's semen sticks to the walls of the woman's vagina and lingers there for an awfully long time. It's not always practical to leap into the shower afterwards. I would suggest that the "clean-up" as you put it, is a lot more straightforward for the man. And the woman's "clean-up" can be made easier and more pleasant by the man wearing a condom.
I don't know why you keep suggesting that it's fair that the guy should stop being able to enjoy sex just so the girl doesn't have to go through the arduous task of wiping up afterwards. *** is part of sex.
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shona
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(Original post by brightxburns)
But of course, the GUY wouldn't have to deal with a termination, would he? He'd just give her the OK and she'd toddle off to the abortion clinic. Easy peasy.
Well, apparently, they're not at all traumatic, even when the decision to have one is made after lengthy consideration and deemed to be the right thing to do by the woman, and they're, y'know, ooh just like getting your hair cut. Totally painless, no after effects and you won't be liable to burst into tears at any given moment for months/years afterwards.

That, by the way, was sarcasm. :rolleyes:

If using a condom can stop a woman from getting into the awful situation of having to decide what to do about an unplanned pregnancy... how is it a bad thing? Even if it only helps minimise the risk by a few percent more.
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FyreFight
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#177
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(Original post by brightxburns)
That's ridiculous. Some couples ALWAYS use condoms, and they don't have any issues. It's really selfish of the man to place his own physical pleasure above her safety, and the risk of conception.

Honestly, unless they are actually planning on having a child, I see no reason why they shouldn't use condoms. It's safer, and far less traumatic than an abortion/termination/unwanted pregnancy.
But of course, the GUY wouldn't have to deal with a termination, would he? He'd just give her the OK and she'd toddle off to the abortion clinic. Easy peasy.
That's great for other couples, but it's not particularly relevant to this one. How much people enjoy sex with a condom differs from person to person. I've already stated countless times why a condom isn't a good idea, you just seem to be ignoring it. Maybe because it's a perfectly valid point and acknowledging it would destroy your position in the debate? I don't know.
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shona
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#178
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(Original post by FyreFight)
Or is the guy being inconsiderate for producing *** now?
No, but he's being inconsiderate by producing *** and happily leaving that inside her, when she has made it clear she does not enjoy that.

(Original post by FyreFight)
How exactly is the guy going to benefit from sex if he can't even feel it? Oh right, because he's safe in the knowledge that the girl is enjoying it. I'm sure that the OP's boyfriend will have great fun trying to orgasm through generosity alone.
If you feel no sensation through a condom, then you're probably using a really thick one. Try using a featherlite.

(Original post by FyreFight)
I don't know why you keep suggesting that it's fair that the guy should stop being able to enjoy sex just so the girl doesn't have to go through the arduous task of wiping up afterwards.
I'm suggesting that condoms do not necessarily make for bad sex.
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Shwill
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#179
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#179
(Original post by shona)
If you feel no sensation through a condom, then you're probably using a really thick one. Try using a featherlite.



I'm suggesting that condoms do not necessarily make for bad sex.
All condoms make for bad sex.
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Shwill
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#180
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#180
(Original post by Titch89)
What about if the girl throws up her pill or something? Surely it's sensible to use both?
She can take a double and be fine. But if that is not done, then temporarily I may agree with you, but not by default.
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