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    (Original post by octoberbaby)
    I am proud of you too, and I'd love to see your list, whether you post it as a thread or not
    Thank you Should show up as a thread soon, you can see it there
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    (Original post by avhhs)
    I am keeping relaxed but that means no revision :sad: Will try to open books in a bit .

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    Good luck :hugs:
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    (Original post by 05autyt)
    Thanks. Dont know how to make it stop. I feel like I'm getting nowhere, maybe even getting worse. Sometimes I feel like i want to beat this ED and then other times it seems like its all thats keeping me going :'( I dont know how I feel tonight. Just like i deserve to hurt
    :hugs: You most certainly do NOT deserve to hurt, no one does. I'm sorry to hear you feel so bad, though :console: Please do try and stay safe if you can. I'm not in a great place myself but you can PM me if you need to talk :hugs:


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    Totally owned telling my parents about the docs! Just goes to show how good taking a few steps back and thinking things through is. Looks like I'm doing better with my thinking after looking at that CBT thing


    How're you all doing tonight? :hugs:


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    (Original post by Kindred)
    Totally owned telling my parents about the docs! Just goes to show how good taking a few steps back and thinking things through is. Looks like I'm doing better with my thinking after looking at that CBT thing


    How're you all doing tonight? :hugs:


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    Awwh that's great news!!! Glad that you are finding the cbt is working.

    I've been home alone all day today and will be until late tomorrow evening and usually that's bad for me as i take it as an opportunity for bad behaviour but I've actually been really good tonight feeling kinda proud of myself tbh. Is the first time I have coped by myself in a LONG time.
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    :cry: Completely hopeless. Lots of bad thoughts, brain is whirring, too much, everything's too much


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    (Original post by octoberbaby)
    Awwh that's great news!!! Glad that you are finding the cbt is working.

    I've been home alone all day today and will be until late tomorrow evening and usually that's bad for me as i take it as an opportunity for bad behaviour but I've actually been really good tonight feeling kinda proud of myself tbh. Is the first time I have coped by myself in a LONG time.
    Thanks

    That's brilliant! I'm proud of you too! Well done


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    (Original post by 08batee)
    :hugs: You most certainly do NOT deserve to hurt, no one does. I'm sorry to hear you feel so bad, though :console: Please do try and stay safe if you can. I'm not in a great place myself but you can PM me if you need to talk :hugs:


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    I feel like I defiantly do. I keep doing stupid things that make me ill and I have exams starting monday and I just want everything to stop because I can't cope anymore. I hope your ok, you don't deserve to be sad



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    (Original post by 05autyt)
    I feel like I defiantly do. I keep doing stupid things that make me ill and I have exams starting monday and I just want everything to stop because I can't cope anymore. I hope your ok, you don't deserve to be sad



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    I'm sorry to hear that, it sounds really difficult. Do you think your feelings are being made worse by the fact you have exams? Do you feel stressed? Though I don't have an eating disorder as such, I've suffered with phases of disordered eating over the last 8 years and find it worsens when I'm stressed as I feel like I need to gain control of things. Or have things been going down hill for a while now? :console: It's important you try to stay as relaxed and calm as you can over the next few days in preparation for the exams, though I understand it's easier said than done. Do you have someone in real life who you can talk to - a family member or friend perhaps? :hugs: I'm sorry I can't really offer more advice, but please try not to best yourself up or be hard on yourself. You don't deserve to hurt, or feel this way at all. Please keep yourself safe, too. :jumphug:


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    (Original post by 08batee)
    I'm sorry to hear that, it sounds really difficult. Do you think your feelings are being made worse by the fact you have exams? Do you feel stressed? Though I don't have an eating disorder as such, I've suffered with phases of disordered eating over the last 8 years and find it worsens when I'm stressed as I feel like I need to gain control of things. Or have things been going down hill for a while now? :console: It's important you try to stay as relaxed and calm as you can over the next few days in preparation for the exams, though I understand it's easier said than done. Do you have someone in real life who you can talk to - a family member or friend perhaps? :hugs: I'm sorry I can't really offer more advice, but please try not to best yourself up or be hard on yourself. You don't deserve to hurt, or feel this way at all. Please keep yourself safe, too. :jumphug:


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    I don't really know but I guess exams are adding to the stress which probably contributes to everything else. But I've been getting worse for a while now. If anything since I've officially been diagnosed its got worse. I don't feel like I have an eating disorder so it kind of justifies it to myself. People keep saying to me, the doctors and stuff, we can't help you unless you want to get better .. I don't know if I do. Like I don't want to live like this but I'm not sure I want to live at all and that will only get worse if I gain weight :/ I sometimes speak to one of my best friends about it but im pretty sure she is frustrated I'm not better .. She gets angry at me ATM every time we speak about it. Thank you for your support I know you aren't too good yourself tonight! Hope you feel better soon


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    POINTLESS RANT:
    I'm raging just a little at my brother at the moment. I was talking to my mum and apparently he doesn't think I have OCD because I didn't react in a suitably annoyed fashion when he ordered a bunch of peas in sets of three (i like even numbers). What the ****!? Since when did he become an expert? Just cos somebody messes up a bunch of peas I'm not going to have a panic attack! And what gives him the right to test me like that?! OCD isn't just numbers and stuff, it's thoughts you can't control and the compulsion to do things that make hardly any sense and a bunch of other stuff. I have a bloody diagnosis for goodness sake! He's going on a little bit of personal experience with a friends mum or some **** like that a d he suddenly thinks he knows better than a psychiatrist?! Then he goes spreading around his new revelation to my mum and trying to convert her to his stupid ways. Such an arse hat!! >

    Rant over. Have a good night/ morning


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    (Original post by Kindred)
    POINTLESS RANT:
    I'm raging just a little at my brother at the moment. I was talking to my mum and apparently he doesn't think I have OCD because I didn't react in a suitably annoyed fashion when he ordered a bunch of peas in sets of three (i like even numbers). What the ****!? Since when did he become an expert? Just cos somebody messes up a bunch of peas I'm not going to have a panic attack! And what gives him the right to test me like that?! OCD isn't just numbers and stuff, it's thoughts you can't control and the compulsion to do things that make hardly any sense and a bunch of other stuff. I have a bloody diagnosis for goodness sake! He's going on a little bit of personal experience with a friends mum or some **** like that a d he suddenly thinks he knows better than a psychiatrist?! Then he goes spreading around his new revelation to my mum and trying to convert her to his stupid ways. Such an arse hat!! >

    Rant over. Have a good night/ morning


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    that is relaly horrible, he shouldn't try test you because imagine if it had set you off! family can be so ignorant sometimes. Is your brother young and just doesn't understand or should he know better.
    I'm glad that his test didn't set you off, please try to think of what a good day you have had and focus on that. :jumphug:
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    thrwing up all nyt lng isnt gd :/ feelng evn wrse nw head is jst bangin


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    I can't cope. I can't cope. I can't cope. I can't cope. I can't cope.
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    (Original post by octoberbaby)
    that is relaly horrible, he shouldn't try test you because imagine if it had set you off! family can be so ignorant sometimes. Is your brother young and just doesn't understand or should he know better.
    I'm glad that his test didn't set you off, please try to think of what a good day you have had and focus on that. :jumphug:
    No he's older than me. He likes to joke around and play with me a lot and it kinda how our relationship goes both ways so I don't think he was actually trying to annoy me or use it as a test to start with. What annoys me is that he took a kind of diagnosing me attitude to it afterwards. I know it's difficult for him to get his head around so I can kinda understand but it's still really annoying. There are some things he does even though he knows they set me off too. If I ask him to turn the tv volume down before I go to bed hell shout up to me later that he's changed it to 23. I don't think he realises how much that actually annoys me sometimes. I'll break my night time routine just to go downstairs and battle over the volume with him until its back to an even number.

    I wish he could just understand. I know it's a difficult thing to get your head around but it's really frustrating for me. It's not just him- hardly anyone understands. They can accept it and try to accommodate it but nobody actually UNDERSTANDS. That's why I like it here so much. People here can at least understand that feeling of being the odd one out and appreciate that that's how others feel too. Some people will even have similar issues and actually be able to understand some things. Not relate, not sympathise but actually properly understand

    Thanks for replying. It happened a while ago so it's not going to ruin my day or anything. I just wanted to let it out before it built up in my head over night or something. I was sorta just using it as an excuse to let off some steam I guess. :P

    I'm actually feeling rather good tonight. I think it may even last to when I'm in my room.
    Hope you're having a good night too :hugs:


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    (Original post by Amador)
    I can't cope. I can't cope. I can't cope. I can't cope. I can't cope.
    :hugs:


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    (Original post by Kindred)
    Totally owned telling my parents about the docs! Just goes to show how good taking a few steps back and thinking things through is. Looks like I'm doing better with my thinking after looking at that CBT thing


    How're you all doing tonight? :hugs:


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    (Original post by octoberbaby)
    Awwh that's great news!!! Glad that you are finding the cbt is working.

    I've been home alone all day today and will be until late tomorrow evening and usually that's bad for me as i take it as an opportunity for bad behaviour but I've actually been really good tonight feeling kinda proud of myself tbh. Is the first time I have coped by myself in a LONG time.
    Yay, that is great! :woo:

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    (Original post by Kindred)
    Don't worryI highly doubt it's anything like early menopause. If it's anything like my experience it will reduce in a few days. Maybe ask your doctor about something to help you sleep? They may be able to give you something or suggest a slight alteration to your meds. Hope it calms down soon :penguinhug:
    Thanks! Yeah I know I just got that or cancer which terrified me. I shouldn't google things.

    I'm going to ask about that soon because this is really annoying, it wasn't as bad last night though so hopefully it's wearing off
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    Up so early and already outside home!

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    I hope everybody has a healthy and happy day
 
 
 
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