Where... from here?

I need some advice (please) because I’m a wreck at things like this… I always end up making a prize fool of myself.

Right. There’s this guy I know but we don’t speak much (apart from one conversation when he randomly sought me out and one occasion when he danced with me in a club but I got distracted by my massively loud friends). I’ve fancied him on the backburner (i.e. appreciated but done nothing) for a while but:

His mother and mine know each other to say hi to and recently his mother says to mine in town, “Hey, aren’t you ****** mum? ******* talks about her all the time…. bla bla bla… he really likes her.” My mother insists that she didn’t understand any underlying meaning in this but points out that she doesn’t understand these things anyway.

So does this mean that he fancies me? He’s only talked to me properly twice though we say hi. My first thought was to humiliate him with ‘yo mama’ jokes but he’s a nice guy. To add to the problem, another girl fancies him and even though she’s not a friend, I’m friends with some of her friends and would it be a betrayal to be interested in him?

Mostly - how do I get the best out of this situation without looking stupid?

Reply 1

naelse

ok so let me get this straight...

1. you like a guy
2. you think he likes you but not quite sure
3. someone else likes him too

and my thoughts on the matter...

1. go you.
2. make more of an effort to spend more time with him. it will become obvious whether or not he likes you. current signs look encouraging. make sure he knows you like him too- keep eye contact, smile, touch his arm lightly etc
3. the other girl has nothing to do with you. I don't understand this whole thing about 'betraying' the sisterhood or whatever. there is no sisterhood. You can't 'let her have him'- he's a human being, not a stuffed toy. he has some choice in this too. besides, the girls who go for what they want get what they want.

all kind of jumbled up there cos i'm tired but there ya go

Ask him!

Naelse - good advice, thankyou!

Kdy... for the same reason that I'm worried about 'betraying' this other girl (secretly I don't care how she feels, I'm worried about my own skin) - my school is like a world of its own. A guy once asked me out, and the next day literally 50 people came up to me and asked me about it. Everyone knows everyone's business and if they found out that I'd asked him and it had gone wrong, or 'betrayed' this other girl, my head would be on a spit (on the other hand if he asks me out, apparently thats fine).

Which is why I want to get out of this unscathed, but with him... liking me. In an obvious and literal way.

Reply 4

spoonofdeath

I agree with all previous posts and there is no real reason for me to restate any of it, so I won't. Now go get him.

Reply 5

englishrose

I don't think that this other girl liking him should be made into an issue. A few months back, I liked this guy, but I knew that an acquaintance (with whom I shared many mutual friends) had liked him for much longer than me. She always said that it was OK that I liked him, but if I ever flirted with him you could tell that she wasn't happy about it. Because of that, I decided to do nothing about it (it would have had to have been me who made the first move, as the guy was really shy). I moved on, but just recently I found out that he liked me back when I used to like him, and I can't help feeling that was a missed opportunity, which I regret a little. Basically, you've not really got much to lose, so you might as well find out if he feels the same way.