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is physical attraction important-or can it develop later? watch

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    iv been going out with a guy for a few weeks, we get on really well and he's really really nice, but im not sexually attracted to him like wow he's so cute he makes my legs go weak etc
    He asked me to the ball with him and wants us to be like a proper couple instead of just dating. my friends keep telling me how lucky i am to get such a nice caring bf and why am i even thinking of dumping him.
    is it worth carrying on with him? maybe i will feel differently about him after i get to know him better? i feel really comfortable around him and like being with him , maybe thats the most important thing?
    any opinions?
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    It's clear that you like him, but maybe you're nervous about the possibility of a sexual relationship?
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    Personally I find that in the past there have been people who I don’t initially find attractive but the attraction grows as I get to know them, and I maybe if the person has an obvious fault it tends not to bother me anymore.

    I guess its the personality?

    I think with your guy you should just take your time. But be careful not to go too far into friendship territory because then you will start worrying that sex might ruin your friendship.
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    When I first met my ex, I thought the same as you: great guy, we had such a good time, and he was 'nice' looking, but I never looked at him and thought "god your fit" or anything like that!
    But as we closer, things did change. And I did have those feelings. I think sometimes that if some one isnt our usual type we just dismiss them, but you should give it a chance. After a while I honestly thought he was the hottest guy around, and when I looked at him I would end up saying "do you know how gorgeous I think you are" and I ment it.
    Also the passion you seem to be looking for can come from lots of things. You may not look at him and think he's really sexy, but things like the way he kisses you or looks at you can be much more powerfull.
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    When i first started going out with my ex i thought she was nice looking, but nothing really special. People do grow on you in many ways, after we got closer i really did think she was the most beautiful person i had ever seen.

    Even to this day i think shes great looking and i hate her guts =/
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    Good topic I say!

    Although honesty is better than anything, I don't think not finding somebody particularly attractive is something you lay on the line, but having said this I'm obviously not saying that I think you should lie. Being comfortable is very very important and yeh I do think the physical attraction can develop between people, it just can make it easier if you do instantly see them as drop dead gorgeous *and* they're a great person.

    However, great people are always keepers, you will just need to eventually decide whether you're better off as ('just') friends or more. I say stick with him and really get to know him and maybe get to trust him properly and then things will almost certainly develop. Just don't force feelings.
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    i think as far as physical attraction goes, first impressions are impotant, like distinct features, hygiene etc from then on, physical attraction is nice, to make it that bit more special
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    Go out with him a little while longer, but don't become a proper couple. You might grow to be attracted to him. If that happens, fantastic. If it doesn't happen, the relationship won't be a success.
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    I felt the same way about my ex when we first started dating. Mutual friends set us up and we went on a first date to the cinema. I decided that i wasn't going to go out with him again coz, not only was i not really physically attracted to him, i didnt even think we had anything in common. The only reason i went out with him again was coz i didnt really have the heart to say no. im so glad i did go out with him again though coz through time, i began to develop feelings for him that id never felt for anyone else before. When, it turned into a sexual relationship ( we did wait quite a while, a few months) it was great and over the course of the three years we went out, became fantastic. And as for having nothing in common, i found that that was only true to an extent and that the fact we were so different was actually a good thing as it made our relationship really dynamic. After three years, he was not onlky my bf but my best friend too and the only reason we split up was coz im moving away to uni and wont be able to see him as much. Don't give up. This guy could surprisingly be your soulmate.
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    the most important thing is how much you like that guy, physical attraction is only one of the other things that follow. if you don't like him enough, then no matter how gorgeous he looks, you still wouldn't feel as happy with him as with some you do like a lot, even if he's not as physically attractive. and often, you will find that the more you realise the good qualities of a person, the more attractive he becomes because you can see a side of him that you couldn't before, and that would change the way he looks to you.

    afterall, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. if you really do like him, go for it, and don't be bounded by the physical factors.
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    physical attraction is important - without romance you're just good friends.

    there is someone perfect out there...
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    (Original post by Geordie_in_HK)
    physical attraction is important - without romance you're just good friends.

    there is someone perfect out there...
    perfection is only how we perceive a person to be. even if a gorgeous appearance, if the person has a horrible personality and manners, somehow he/she will look less attractive.
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    (Original post by perkyDani)
    iv been going out with a guy for a few weeks, we get on really well and he's really really nice, but im not sexually attracted to him like wow he's so cute he makes my legs go weak etc
    He asked me to the ball with him and wants us to be like a proper couple instead of just dating. my friends keep telling me how lucky i am to get such a nice caring bf and why am i even thinking of dumping him.
    is it worth carrying on with him? maybe i will feel differently about him after i get to know him better? i feel really comfortable around him and like being with him , maybe thats the most important thing?
    any opinions?

    For me (yes go ahead call em shallow) but physical attraction is SO SO VERY important. Id never date someone who I was no attracted to.
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    i wouldn't bother with someone i wasn't attracted to. there wouldn't be that spark. if it doesn't feel right, don't do it.
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    Physical attraction is one of the most important things in any relationship, its what makes you like someone in the first place.
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    (Original post by KdySk8rGirl)
    Physical attraction is one of the most important things in any relationship, its what makes you like someone in the first place.

    Indeed it is what makes you like someone in the first place but initial attraction is almost a totally different thing from the developed attraction to somebody about which this topic is debating. It is generally important but being physically attracted initially can be killed off when you get to know somebody, and the opposite is also true: - intense physical attraction can develop on the other side of getting to know, love and trust somebody.
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    It all depends what your looking for in your relationship
    as a bloke who no one in their right mind could find attractive, i know you shouldn't rush into anything at full pelt, especially if the person with you is already a friend, as ultimately you dont want to lose that person as your friend.
    The best option is just to spend your time with each other, and you will see if their personality just gives you a little sparkle...if he makes you laugh and you feel contented and safe with him, then go a little bit further, but never take massive steps, and never do something your not comfortable with.
    it doesn't sound like he's trying to push you into anything, which is disgustingly common, but just give it time and you will know.
    as i said...physical attraction cant be anything, otherwise i would have been single for 20 years rather than 19!
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    physical attraction can grow....

    when i first met my boyfriend i didnt fancy him in the slightest,(obviously before we started going out) i only saw him as a really good mate..

    but as time went on i found myself falling for every part of him (this took a few months!) and now we're incredably in love! and i fancy him like crazy now!

    it dosent always have to be an instant attraction!
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    i think physcal attraction is important at he begginig since it is what most people see and notice first but after gettin to know each other better is nt such an issue but now i would find it hard to be seeing someone i didnt like physically first
 
 
 
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